Life sucks (and then you're wet)
Characters: Jensen, Jared, Misha, Jared's dogs and Kripke
Summary: It's all Jared's fault anyway ...
Warnings: Schmoop - and did I mention schmoop?
Rating: PG-13 due to swearing (Jensen is not a happy camper)
Author's note: Still no native speaker, so there might be some (or make it a lot) grammar and spelling mistakes. I'm terrible sorry about that.
Thanks to
insane_songbird who killed some mistakes already. ;)
Inspired by: This pic
It’s totally Jared’s fault.
Why would you need an umbrella? Jared had said.
I mean, look outside. The sun is shining, Jared had said.
It’s just a short walk anyway, Jared had said.
Don’t be such a pussy, Jared had said.
Well, maybe he hadn’t said the pussy-part exactly but the implications had been there somewhere in his cheeky dimpled grin. Damn dimples. And then he had stolen Jensen’s umbrella and hid it god-knows-where.
Jensen wasn’t paranoid. There had been clouds. Dark, grey clouds right next to the sun. But then Jared had kind of … blinded him with his grin, even brighter than the sun, and suddenly the clouds hadn’t seemed to matter that much anymore.
So it was all Jared’s fault for being so damn irresistible and cute and looking like a big overeager puppy. Not to mention that he totally had manhandled Jensen out of his trailer. You just don’t stand a chance against 200 pounds pure muscle. So best hold on tight and let yourself get carried away. That’s how Jensen ended up with 200 pounds of overeager puppy as a boyfriend anyway. At least that’s how he remembers it.
“It’s totally your fault.” Jensen glares. Next to him Sadie barks in agreement. And this is exactly why she is totally Jensen’s girl - she always sides with him.
Not like Harley over there, who looks suspiciously as if he actually enjoys himself playing in the mud. Jensen throws him a stern look that says something along the lines of: ‘Dude - no belly rubbing for you tonight!’ What? He means it! Except that Harley is totally ignoring him.
“Sorry, Jen. I really thought it wouldn’t rain …” Jared sounds genuinely contrite. His lower lip trembles and wet bangs stick to his forehead and make him look even more like a sad puppy.
Jensen sighs, trying to stay mad at him. It is difficult though with Jared looking at him like that. Stubbornly he turns away, determined not to soften. Well, not right now. He knows, he will eventually. His wet clothes cling uncomfortably to his body and Jensen shivers. It’s not even his clothes technically speaking, it’s Dean’s clothes, which is even worse.
“Where the hell is Cliff?” he grumbles. His teeth started to chatter ten minutes ago and he wants to be in the warm dry car already.
“Are you cold?” Jared asks.
“I’m just peachy.”
Tentatively Jared approaches him, looking almost shy. “I could, you know, warm you up?”
Against his will Jensen feels his lips twitching, because that? Is totally the lamest pick-up-line in the history of ever.
“And we should really get you out of these wet clothes”, Jared continues, sounding smarmy like one of those dudes in the really bad gay porn, Chad made them watch last week. And really bad means the kind of ‘I want to stab my eyes out with a fork’-bad.
Chad wants to show them he’s all supportive with them being totally gay for each other. That’s what he said anyway. But he just really loves to torture Jensen in any way imaginable.
“You suck.” But Jensen’s smiling already and it was a lost cause anyway.
“I suck.” Jared wraps his arms around him from behind and softly kisses his neck. “Sorry”, he murmurs and Jared is huge and warm and soft like a life-sized thermo-blanket and Jensen is almost ready to forgive him.
Except on the next morning he wakes up with a sore throat and a headache.
Oh no. Come on!
That’s what you get for listening to Jared. Don’t listen to Jared! Ever. Not even when he makes you all weak and defenseless with the damn puppy eyes.
Jensen sighs and buries his head in his pillow, wincing as he swallows. He hates his life.
Sadie lies next to him and licks his face. She smells like wet dog and has doggy morning breath but he feels a little bit comforted anyway. Sadie is so his baby girl.
If life were fair Jared should be the one with the sore throat, because he had been just as wet as Jensen yesterday and it was his fault to begin with. But of course Jared is as fit as a damn fiddle, scampering through the kitchen and making breakfast, whereas Jensen shuffles through the room like a zombie.
Jared startles as he sees him. “Huh …? Jen! Morning! Hey, you woke up before the alarm”, Jared states scandalized as if such unheard occurrence never happened before. Maybe it hadn’t.
“I did?” Jensen rubs his eyes sleepily. “Great. Call the coast guards.” His voice sounds slightly scratchy and Jared throws him a questioning look.
“You okay?”
“Never been better.”
“I made you pancakes.” Jared is positively glowing and completely immune against sarcasm in the morning.
Jensen is not really hungry, but the coffee is kind of awesome and after his second cup he decides that Jared might not be the worst boyfriend in the history of forever after all. He feels a little bit better after a hot shower and even better as soon as there’s more caffeine in his bloodstream than blood. That’s the way it should be, right?
“You sure, you’re okay? You look a little pale, dude.” Jared throws him another concerned look in the car, when Jensen doesn’t answer the third time in a row. It’s not that he doesn’t listen. He always, always listens when Jared talks. It’s just that he’s really tired and his throat is still bothering him.
Jensen waves his hand dismissively. “’M okay. Just tired.” It’s nothing. He’s going to be fine. He refuses to be a total wimp, who gets sick due to a little bit rain. No way.
“Are you still mad at me?” Jared looks troubled. “I mean, because of …”
“No.” Jensen shakes his head and this time his smile is genuine. He lets his aching head sink against Jared’s shoulder and sighs contently. “I’m not mad at you, you big baby.”
The sore throat is only the beginning though of what feels like the head cold from hell. During the ride to the set the headache comes back with full force and around noon the sneezing starts. And it just won’t stop.
He’s pretty sure Dean is not supposed to sneeze every two sentences while he’s chanting an exorcism, but there’s only so much he can do about it. Misha throws him worried looks during their scenes together and keeps asking, if he’s all right.
Jensen keeps insisting he’s fine, only it sounds more and more like ‘fide’ as the day goes on because he’s all congested now.
During lunch break Misha manages to obtain a cup of hot tea from god knows where, because Jensen is picking at his food and not really eating anything. Swallowing is torture and the hot tea is awesome and almost as good as anything that’s not coffee can ever be.
Misha is actually a pretty decent guy, nice and easy-going and just the right bit of crazy to fit in on set. Jensen doesn’t mind spending his breaks with him while Jared is off doing location shots with Geneviéve.
Yeah okay, screw that. It’s a lie. Usually he doesn’t mind it, because usually he’s a reasonable adult who manages just fine without his boyfriend for a few hours.
But right now he wants nothing more than to bury his head into Jared’s shoulders and never come out. He just wants Jared to be there. Maybe there would even be snuggling involved. In a totally manly way.
One the way back they meet Kripke. Eric takes one look at him and frowns.
“What the … Are you sick?” He sounds almost accusing, as if Jensen did it on purpose. It’s not even his fault, damnit. He would’ve taken the damn umbrella.
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t sound fine.”
Right on cue Jensen sneezes. He sighs and thinks it would actually help convincing people that he’s fine if he’d be able to stop coughing and sneezing for more than two minutes.
“And you look horrible”, Kripke adds like an afterthought. To Jensen it sounds like ‘Dean is not supposed to look horrible! Well not today. Dean is supposed to make fangirls swoon. You FAIL!’
“Gee, thank you. And don’t worry too much about my health or anything,” Jensen snaps, feeling irritated.
“Jensen, that’s not …”
“Yeah, well it’s nothing make up won’t cover.”
Next to him Misha stifles a laugh and thankfully grabs his arm to drag him away.
Jensen groans. Dear God, what did he just say? What the hell is wrong with him?
“Please tell me I didn’t just say that.”
“Yep. You did.” Misha is totally laughing on the inside. The little bastard.
Jensen feels mortified. Sometimes he forgets how grumpy he gets when he feels like shit. His inhibitions totally fly out of the window and then all bets are off. “You need to stop me, man! You can’t let me talk! Why didn’t you, I don’t know, tackle me and throw me to the ground or something? Like before I insulted my boss?”
And just for the record? Jared totally would’ve tackled him! Well, he might’ve smished and cuddled him too, but at least he would’ve prevented Jensen from endangering his employment. Misha sucks!
“Come on,” Misha sounds amused, “it’s no biggie. It’s not as if he would fire you. Eric loves you, man! What’s the worst thing he could do to you?”
He’s clearly not long enough on board to know what he’s talking about. “Dude!” Jensen hisses. “This is Eric we’re talking about! He made me go to hell! He made me cry! He made me wear shorts on prime time! Red shorts!”
It’s like saying ‘It’s just Hitler - what’s the worst thing he could do?’
So yes maybe he tends to exaggerate a little when he feels miserable.
During the next hours it gets even worse. His head feels stuffed full with cotton wool and the constant coughing makes his eyes water and his throat ache. He keeps screwing up his lines and he keeps sneezing at Castiel, Angel of the Lord himself, and yes, he knows Dean and Cas are supposed to be close, but sharing each others germs might be a little over the top.
The whole day basically sucks balls.
After he misses his mark for the ninth time in a row (a rare occurrence for him) there’s finally an exasperated ‘CUT!’ to his right.
Jensen is angry at himself because he knows he really screwed up today, but he’s kind of relieved at the same time because he feels dizzy and nauseous and miserable and he’s pretty sure, he’s going to keel over any second now.
His stars fainting on set is SO not on Eric’s “Happy-list” so Jensen mostly refrains from doing it. An unhappy Kripke is a Kripke who makes Dean cry and that just sucks, no matter how much the fangirls love it.
Misha pats his back; saying something along the lines of ‘don’t worry about it, we all know you suck anyway’ and ‘should’ve stayed in bed, man’ but Jensen isn’t listening anymore because finally there’s Jared. Finally.
Jared’s all dimpled smile and soft, girly hair, exuberant and enthusiastic like a tall, dorky puppy dog. He greets people left and right on his way, talking and smiling but his eyes are focused solely on Jensen. And Jensen feels like he is finally exhaling after an eternity of holding his breath.
“Hey”, he croaks and Jared’s eyes soften immediately.
“Aw man, you sound like shit,” he says.
The ‘I’m fine’ is on the tip of his tongue, but - to his own surprise - what he actually says, is: “Feel like it, too.”
Jared hugs him right then and there and it’s kind of heaven. He’s warm and sweaty and if Jensen could smell anything right now, he knows he would smell Jared and fake blood, dirt and something like home. Jensen totally buries his head in his shoulder and closes his eyes.
Jared kisses the top of his head and just holds him close. “Sorry, I got you sick, Jen.”
Jensen shrugs and feels too bad to hold grudges and is way too relieved that Jared is here. “Yeah well, it could be worse.” And as soon as he says it, he knows it’s true. Jared is here and everything is okay now.
“Think you’re running a fever?” Jared asks, warm breaths soft against his ear.
“No”, Jensen lies, even though he’s pretty sure he does. But right now he just doesn’t care.
Jared doesn’t look convinced and puts a large cool hand on his forehead anyway. Jensen feels like moaning, because it’s just so good and it actually helps against the pounding headache he’s got.
“You feel kinda warm. Let’s get you to bed”, Jared suggests, steadying him with an arm around Jensen’s waist and that’s absolutely the best thing he heard today. He nods and it’s a testimony of how crappy he feels that he’s even too tired to make an innuendo out of this.
“Sounds like a plan.”
“You guys are disgustingly adorable,” Misha says cheerfully as he passes them by. “Get better soon, Jen. You suck, when you’re sick.”
But Jensen didn’t forget the worried looks Misha throw his way the whole day and the he hot tea he got him, so he just smiles a little and nods.
“By the way”, Misha adds, pointing a finger at Jared. “You need to protect your boy from the wrath of Kripke during the next few days.”
“Wrath of Kripke …? What did I miss?” Jared blinks and Jensen groans.
“Don’t even ask.”
^Fin^
Like it? Hate it? Please let know. ^^
Summary: It's all Jared's fault anyway ...
Warnings: Schmoop - and did I mention schmoop?
Rating: PG-13 due to swearing (Jensen is not a happy camper)
Author's note: Still no native speaker, so there might be some (or make it a lot) grammar and spelling mistakes. I'm terrible sorry about that.
Thanks to
insane_songbird who killed some mistakes already. ;)
Inspired by: This pic
It’s totally Jared’s fault.
Why would you need an umbrella? Jared had said.
I mean, look outside. The sun is shining, Jared had said.
It’s just a short walk anyway, Jared had said.
Don’t be such a pussy, Jared had said.
Well, maybe he hadn’t said the pussy-part exactly but the implications had been there somewhere in his cheeky dimpled grin. Damn dimples. And then he had stolen Jensen’s umbrella and hid it god-knows-where.
Jensen wasn’t paranoid. There had been clouds. Dark, grey clouds right next to the sun. But then Jared had kind of … blinded him with his grin, even brighter than the sun, and suddenly the clouds hadn’t seemed to matter that much anymore.
So it was all Jared’s fault for being so damn irresistible and cute and looking like a big overeager puppy. Not to mention that he totally had manhandled Jensen out of his trailer. You just don’t stand a chance against 200 pounds pure muscle. So best hold on tight and let yourself get carried away. That’s how Jensen ended up with 200 pounds of overeager puppy as a boyfriend anyway. At least that’s how he remembers it.
“It’s totally your fault.” Jensen glares. Next to him Sadie barks in agreement. And this is exactly why she is totally Jensen’s girl - she always sides with him.
Not like Harley over there, who looks suspiciously as if he actually enjoys himself playing in the mud. Jensen throws him a stern look that says something along the lines of: ‘Dude - no belly rubbing for you tonight!’ What? He means it! Except that Harley is totally ignoring him.
“Sorry, Jen. I really thought it wouldn’t rain …” Jared sounds genuinely contrite. His lower lip trembles and wet bangs stick to his forehead and make him look even more like a sad puppy.
Jensen sighs, trying to stay mad at him. It is difficult though with Jared looking at him like that. Stubbornly he turns away, determined not to soften. Well, not right now. He knows, he will eventually. His wet clothes cling uncomfortably to his body and Jensen shivers. It’s not even his clothes technically speaking, it’s Dean’s clothes, which is even worse.
“Where the hell is Cliff?” he grumbles. His teeth started to chatter ten minutes ago and he wants to be in the warm dry car already.
“Are you cold?” Jared asks.
“I’m just peachy.”
Tentatively Jared approaches him, looking almost shy. “I could, you know, warm you up?”
Against his will Jensen feels his lips twitching, because that? Is totally the lamest pick-up-line in the history of ever.
“And we should really get you out of these wet clothes”, Jared continues, sounding smarmy like one of those dudes in the really bad gay porn, Chad made them watch last week. And really bad means the kind of ‘I want to stab my eyes out with a fork’-bad.
Chad wants to show them he’s all supportive with them being totally gay for each other. That’s what he said anyway. But he just really loves to torture Jensen in any way imaginable.
“You suck.” But Jensen’s smiling already and it was a lost cause anyway.
“I suck.” Jared wraps his arms around him from behind and softly kisses his neck. “Sorry”, he murmurs and Jared is huge and warm and soft like a life-sized thermo-blanket and Jensen is almost ready to forgive him.
Except on the next morning he wakes up with a sore throat and a headache.
Oh no. Come on!
That’s what you get for listening to Jared. Don’t listen to Jared! Ever. Not even when he makes you all weak and defenseless with the damn puppy eyes.
Jensen sighs and buries his head in his pillow, wincing as he swallows. He hates his life.
Sadie lies next to him and licks his face. She smells like wet dog and has doggy morning breath but he feels a little bit comforted anyway. Sadie is so his baby girl.
If life were fair Jared should be the one with the sore throat, because he had been just as wet as Jensen yesterday and it was his fault to begin with. But of course Jared is as fit as a damn fiddle, scampering through the kitchen and making breakfast, whereas Jensen shuffles through the room like a zombie.
Jared startles as he sees him. “Huh …? Jen! Morning! Hey, you woke up before the alarm”, Jared states scandalized as if such unheard occurrence never happened before. Maybe it hadn’t.
“I did?” Jensen rubs his eyes sleepily. “Great. Call the coast guards.” His voice sounds slightly scratchy and Jared throws him a questioning look.
“You okay?”
“Never been better.”
“I made you pancakes.” Jared is positively glowing and completely immune against sarcasm in the morning.
Jensen is not really hungry, but the coffee is kind of awesome and after his second cup he decides that Jared might not be the worst boyfriend in the history of forever after all. He feels a little bit better after a hot shower and even better as soon as there’s more caffeine in his bloodstream than blood. That’s the way it should be, right?
“You sure, you’re okay? You look a little pale, dude.” Jared throws him another concerned look in the car, when Jensen doesn’t answer the third time in a row. It’s not that he doesn’t listen. He always, always listens when Jared talks. It’s just that he’s really tired and his throat is still bothering him.
Jensen waves his hand dismissively. “’M okay. Just tired.” It’s nothing. He’s going to be fine. He refuses to be a total wimp, who gets sick due to a little bit rain. No way.
“Are you still mad at me?” Jared looks troubled. “I mean, because of …”
“No.” Jensen shakes his head and this time his smile is genuine. He lets his aching head sink against Jared’s shoulder and sighs contently. “I’m not mad at you, you big baby.”
The sore throat is only the beginning though of what feels like the head cold from hell. During the ride to the set the headache comes back with full force and around noon the sneezing starts. And it just won’t stop.
He’s pretty sure Dean is not supposed to sneeze every two sentences while he’s chanting an exorcism, but there’s only so much he can do about it. Misha throws him worried looks during their scenes together and keeps asking, if he’s all right.
Jensen keeps insisting he’s fine, only it sounds more and more like ‘fide’ as the day goes on because he’s all congested now.
During lunch break Misha manages to obtain a cup of hot tea from god knows where, because Jensen is picking at his food and not really eating anything. Swallowing is torture and the hot tea is awesome and almost as good as anything that’s not coffee can ever be.
Misha is actually a pretty decent guy, nice and easy-going and just the right bit of crazy to fit in on set. Jensen doesn’t mind spending his breaks with him while Jared is off doing location shots with Geneviéve.
Yeah okay, screw that. It’s a lie. Usually he doesn’t mind it, because usually he’s a reasonable adult who manages just fine without his boyfriend for a few hours.
But right now he wants nothing more than to bury his head into Jared’s shoulders and never come out. He just wants Jared to be there. Maybe there would even be snuggling involved. In a totally manly way.
One the way back they meet Kripke. Eric takes one look at him and frowns.
“What the … Are you sick?” He sounds almost accusing, as if Jensen did it on purpose. It’s not even his fault, damnit. He would’ve taken the damn umbrella.
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t sound fine.”
Right on cue Jensen sneezes. He sighs and thinks it would actually help convincing people that he’s fine if he’d be able to stop coughing and sneezing for more than two minutes.
“And you look horrible”, Kripke adds like an afterthought. To Jensen it sounds like ‘Dean is not supposed to look horrible! Well not today. Dean is supposed to make fangirls swoon. You FAIL!’
“Gee, thank you. And don’t worry too much about my health or anything,” Jensen snaps, feeling irritated.
“Jensen, that’s not …”
“Yeah, well it’s nothing make up won’t cover.”
Next to him Misha stifles a laugh and thankfully grabs his arm to drag him away.
Jensen groans. Dear God, what did he just say? What the hell is wrong with him?
“Please tell me I didn’t just say that.”
“Yep. You did.” Misha is totally laughing on the inside. The little bastard.
Jensen feels mortified. Sometimes he forgets how grumpy he gets when he feels like shit. His inhibitions totally fly out of the window and then all bets are off. “You need to stop me, man! You can’t let me talk! Why didn’t you, I don’t know, tackle me and throw me to the ground or something? Like before I insulted my boss?”
And just for the record? Jared totally would’ve tackled him! Well, he might’ve smished and cuddled him too, but at least he would’ve prevented Jensen from endangering his employment. Misha sucks!
“Come on,” Misha sounds amused, “it’s no biggie. It’s not as if he would fire you. Eric loves you, man! What’s the worst thing he could do to you?”
He’s clearly not long enough on board to know what he’s talking about. “Dude!” Jensen hisses. “This is Eric we’re talking about! He made me go to hell! He made me cry! He made me wear shorts on prime time! Red shorts!”
It’s like saying ‘It’s just Hitler - what’s the worst thing he could do?’
So yes maybe he tends to exaggerate a little when he feels miserable.
During the next hours it gets even worse. His head feels stuffed full with cotton wool and the constant coughing makes his eyes water and his throat ache. He keeps screwing up his lines and he keeps sneezing at Castiel, Angel of the Lord himself, and yes, he knows Dean and Cas are supposed to be close, but sharing each others germs might be a little over the top.
The whole day basically sucks balls.
After he misses his mark for the ninth time in a row (a rare occurrence for him) there’s finally an exasperated ‘CUT!’ to his right.
Jensen is angry at himself because he knows he really screwed up today, but he’s kind of relieved at the same time because he feels dizzy and nauseous and miserable and he’s pretty sure, he’s going to keel over any second now.
His stars fainting on set is SO not on Eric’s “Happy-list” so Jensen mostly refrains from doing it. An unhappy Kripke is a Kripke who makes Dean cry and that just sucks, no matter how much the fangirls love it.
Misha pats his back; saying something along the lines of ‘don’t worry about it, we all know you suck anyway’ and ‘should’ve stayed in bed, man’ but Jensen isn’t listening anymore because finally there’s Jared. Finally.
Jared’s all dimpled smile and soft, girly hair, exuberant and enthusiastic like a tall, dorky puppy dog. He greets people left and right on his way, talking and smiling but his eyes are focused solely on Jensen. And Jensen feels like he is finally exhaling after an eternity of holding his breath.
“Hey”, he croaks and Jared’s eyes soften immediately.
“Aw man, you sound like shit,” he says.
The ‘I’m fine’ is on the tip of his tongue, but - to his own surprise - what he actually says, is: “Feel like it, too.”
Jared hugs him right then and there and it’s kind of heaven. He’s warm and sweaty and if Jensen could smell anything right now, he knows he would smell Jared and fake blood, dirt and something like home. Jensen totally buries his head in his shoulder and closes his eyes.
Jared kisses the top of his head and just holds him close. “Sorry, I got you sick, Jen.”
Jensen shrugs and feels too bad to hold grudges and is way too relieved that Jared is here. “Yeah well, it could be worse.” And as soon as he says it, he knows it’s true. Jared is here and everything is okay now.
“Think you’re running a fever?” Jared asks, warm breaths soft against his ear.
“No”, Jensen lies, even though he’s pretty sure he does. But right now he just doesn’t care.
Jared doesn’t look convinced and puts a large cool hand on his forehead anyway. Jensen feels like moaning, because it’s just so good and it actually helps against the pounding headache he’s got.
“You feel kinda warm. Let’s get you to bed”, Jared suggests, steadying him with an arm around Jensen’s waist and that’s absolutely the best thing he heard today. He nods and it’s a testimony of how crappy he feels that he’s even too tired to make an innuendo out of this.
“Sounds like a plan.”
“You guys are disgustingly adorable,” Misha says cheerfully as he passes them by. “Get better soon, Jen. You suck, when you’re sick.”
But Jensen didn’t forget the worried looks Misha throw his way the whole day and the he hot tea he got him, so he just smiles a little and nods.
“By the way”, Misha adds, pointing a finger at Jared. “You need to protect your boy from the wrath of Kripke during the next few days.”
“Wrath of Kripke …? What did I miss?” Jared blinks and Jensen groans.
“Don’t even ask.”
^Fin^
Like it? Hate it? Please let know. ^^