Fic: A Chance to Change or Stay the Same (2/2) (for zelda_zee)
Continued…
“Thank you, Balthazar,” Castiel breathed, wishing he could think of a better term in this language to fully express what this meant to him. “But you understand that the weapons were never all I wanted from you, right?”
“I’m getting that now. I’ll come back, Castiel,” he promised. “If you can’t be talked out of this, then I suppose someone’s got to keep an eye on you. Whatever you need, it’s yours.”
“The weapons are a good start,” Castiel chuckled warmly, wheels already starting to spin as he settled back into his general mindset. “I’m assuming you have them well-hidden, we’ll need to figure out how to get to them without attracting Virgil’s attention, I’m sure Raphael has him waiting to feel any sign of activity amongst them. We could-”
“Cas,” Balthazar interrupted. “Wait. Before you leap into strategizing, there’s something I’ve been meaning to do for a few thousand years now, and right now, I’m thinking fuck it- might as well go for it while I’m still embracing this whole complete and utter freedom thing.”
“What…”
Castiel trailed off as Balthazar stepped close and cupped Castiel’s face, tilting his head up, making his intentions perfectly clear to give him time to pull away. Castiel’s breath hitched, started by the suddenly increased heart rate of this body, but he returned Balthazar’s heavy gaze, making no move to escape his embrace. Balthazar grinned, heartened by the reaction, and swooped down to kiss him.
Their lips touched, and for the first time since he had lost it that night in Van Nuys, Castiel’s grace sang out with joy; the disconnect he always felt in this form was gone, and he finally felt as one with Balthazar in these human bodies as he did in their own, the filter that was cramming themselves into human skin gone.
It was light, a simple, slow brush of lips, so much less than what his encounter with Meg had been, and all at once much, much more. Castiel hadn’t understood the appeal of physical contact after his last experience, had briefly wondered why Balthazar and the Winchesters seemed so dependent on it; now, after one moment with Balthazar, Castiel no longer questioned it.
Balthazar pulled away after only a moment, not wanting to push what he was sure was Castiel’s first experience with physical contact, but had barely gotten away when Castiel abruptly threw his arms around Balthazar’s neck and slammed their lips back together eagerly, kissing Balthazar harder and deeper. Balthazar immediately groaned in satisfaction, gripping Castiel’s hips and yanking him in tight as he brushed his tongue to Cas’s lips, seeking entrance and eagerly tasting him the second it was granted, feeling like every nerve inside him was on fire.
How could he have possibly thought all those meaningless orgies could compare to this, that they were any kind of substitute or distraction? This wasn’t some meaningless way to forget the world for an hour; this was his world.
Balthazar was again the one to pull away several minutes later, but just enough to speak, continuing to rest his forehead to Castiel’s. Castiel chased his lips momentarily with a noise of protest, not wanting this connection to Balthazar or growing heat inside him to die, and Balthazar chuckled, pressing another quick, wet kiss to his mouth. Castiel licked his lips in satisfaction after, enjoying the pleasant warmth, the way the taste of Balthazar lingered on them- a taste he wanted more of.
“You are suspiciously comfortable with this,” Balthazar murmured against his lips, a clear unspoken question behind the words. To his surprise, Castiel actually blushed lightly, and Balthazar’s suspicions were immediately confirmed. “Who?” he demanded; fuck, he was going to snap and go kill him if Cas said Dean Winchester.
“A demon, goes by the name of Meg,” he confessed hesitantly, cringing when he felt Balthazar’s shoulders stiffen under his hands, saw the other angel’s eyes grow dark. “It was an act of curiosity and confusion, Balthazar, nothing-”
“A demon, Castiel?” Balthazar snarled in furious disbelief. “I’ve been waiting for you to wake up for millennia, and you throw that away on some abomination?”
Before Castiel could say a word, Balthazar was hungrily claiming his mouth all over again, the kiss rough and needy as he slid his hands down Castiel’s back to his ass, abruptly yanking him up off his feet, wrapping Castiel’s legs around his waist as he slammed him to the nearest wall, kissing him senseless before trailing his lips down his neck, biting and sucking a mark into Castiel’s skin, claiming him.
“Not ever again,” he growled firmly against his throat. Castiel shivered, a moan escaping him, the possessive behavior, the feeling of being wanted and needed so deeply by the angel he’d been longing for himself for so long, doing more for him than he could say.
“Only you,” he promised breathlessly, arching his back and rocking his lower half against Balthazar, moaning louder in response to the new sensation.
“Fuck, Cas. You have no idea what you do to me,” Balthazar sighed blissfully, kissing him tenderly while Castiel tangled his fingers through his hair, trying to draw him as close as possible.
Wanting so much more of this, wanting everything he could possibly have from the other angel, Castiel slowly trailed hands down the hard muscle of Balthazar’s chest and stomach, wanting to feel every last bit of him, drinking in the pleasured gasps and moans he was able to draw from him, until he reached Balthazar’s belt, fumbling unsurely with it. Balthazar reluctantly forced himself to pull away, studying Castiel careful.
“Cas?” he asked roughly, knowing he’d understand what was being questioned.
“Balthazar, please,” Castiel responded desperately; Balthazar took a deep breath, trying to calm himself- the sound of Castiel begging for him had this dangerously close to ending before it began. “I want you to, I need this. I’m yours- take me.”
“I love you,” Balthazar declared without even thinking, the feeling of being so close, of finally having what he’d wanted for so long, lowering every defense and inhibition he might have had, leaving him with a burning need to make sure Castiel understood this. “So fucking much.”
“And I you, brother,” Castiel responded with a content smile.
Forcing himself to momentarily quell his desire, Castiel took a deep breath and focused completely on his grace, drawing it to the surface and allowing himself to reconnect fully with Balthazar for the first time since his death, letting him simply feel for himself Castiel’s love for him. Balthazar gasped, feeling weak and overwhelmed for a moment, before regaining his strength and clutching Castiel to him so tightly that it would have hurt a human, trembling from the force of what was being shared with him. Managing to scrape his focus together for the few seconds necessary, Balthazar managed to do the same.
“Balthazar,” Castiel cried, feeling for himself not only how fiercely Balthazar had cared for him and wanted him for so long, but the extent of Balthazar’s grief and depression when Castiel had died. “I missed you,” he choked out desperately, fingers digging into Balthazar’s shoulders, clutching him tightly. “Missed you so much.”
“Oh, Cas, you have no idea,” Balthazar groaned in response, smashing their lips back together in another frenzied kiss, tearing off Castiel’s trenchcoat and sliding a hand under Castiel’s shirt, desperate to feel his skin on his, mumbling erratically between kisses. “Can’t stand not being with you, nearly drove me insane. Ugh, Cas, want you so badly.”
“Then stop talking…” Cas pulled back to growl, the sound instantly going to Balthazar’s groin, making him almost painfully hard. “And do something about it.” Balthazar grinned, that cocky hint of smugness creeping back.
“Your wish is my command,” he promised, kissing him deeply as he backed off the wall, carrying Cas towards the nearest bedroom.
He resisted the urge gnawing at him to just throw Castiel on the nearest flat surface or simply take him up against the wall, knowing he deserved better for their first time together, and that after several eons of waiting, he could afford to wait a little longer.
“What are you doing?” Castiel demanded impatiently.
“Bedroom.”
“Why?” he panted frantically, rocking his hips into Balthazar’s. “Here is good.”
“Patience, darling. The human way is worth it on the odd occasion, and I want to take my time with this,” he breathed. “Peel all of this off you layer by layer.”
Balthazar quickly got to the bed and lowered himself to the edge, leaving Castiel straddling his lap; he immediately continued his grinding and rutting, and both quietly moaning into the kiss at the contact.
Balthazar couldn’t stand anything between them for a second longer and tore Castiel’s shirt from his shoulders, allowing Cas to do the same to him before softly stroking fingertips up and down his shoulderblades in a way that made Cas shiver violently.
“Wings,” Balthazar managed to gasp out urgently.
With an aching sigh of relief (it was confining to have to always restrain such an important part of their true selves), Castiel immediately allowed them to extend out of his vessel at the request. Balthazar gazed at the beautiful midnight black appendages eagerly for a moment, drinking in the sight, the sheen of deep blue on the feathers when the light hit just right as he’d remembered, having missed this particular bit of closeness between them for far too long, and was quick to plunge his fingers into the silky down.
Castiel threw his head back and moaned loudly, even greater pleasure surging through him at the contact, nearly making him come on the spot; not having anyone touch his wings for over two years, especially not the way Balthazar always did, had made him so much more sensitive to the feeling, every sensation now so much more intense.
“Have the apes ever touched your wings, Castiel?” Balthazar murmured smugly as he twisted and tugged the his feathers just right, petting and stroking, grinning when Castiel practically wailed, riding his lap mindlessly- he already knew the answer.
“No. Only you, Balthazar,” he repeated through panting breaths.
“Only ever me,” Balthazar added in a pleased tone, leaning in closer to nip and kiss along the curve of a wing.
As Castiel’s mind grew hazier from pleasure with each passing moment, thoughts getting away from him, the idea that Balthazar was so damn good at this because he’d brought others to ecstasy through their wings before crossed his mind briefly, and it instantly snapped him out of his fog.
Castiel was upset enough to know Balthazar had been with humans, didn’t like it the slightest bit. He wasn’t used to the two of them having lives outside of each other; for the last several eons, they’d been at each other’s side constantly, closer to nobody than each other, and it didn’t please him that that had changed- the fact that dozens, if not hundreds of humans that had meant nothing to Balthazar had all seen him like this before Castiel, laid bare, at his most intimate, seemed deeply wrong.
And now wondering if it hadn’t just been humans, if Balthazar had given himself to other rogue angels as well, touched their wings, bonded with them outside of these vessels? The rush of possessive anger he felt in response took him off guard, but he didn’t fight it.
That was all done; from this moment forward, no other would lay hand or grace on Balthazar, Castiel intended to make sure of that.
“Balthazar,” he managed to choke out through the whimpers and moans being torn from him, getting his attention.
“Is something wrong, darling?” Balthazar asked immediately, looking at him carefully.
“Balthazar…were you ever with other angels? You’re not the only rogue angel, I know others are out there, it seems likely you may have come across them, and I just wonder,” Castiel asked hesitantly, needing to know, even if he wasn’t sure he wanted to. Balthazar’s eyes softened in understanding.
“No,” he answered immediately. “I’ve never wanted anyone but you, Castiel. The humans were nothing more than a way to forget you, and another angel only would have reminded me of what I wanted and couldn’t have. I’m yours alone, as much as you are mine.” Castiel smiled warmly and nodded, soothed by that response, and Balthazar laughed slightly. “Jealous, Cas? It’s a bit unexpected- I think I like it,” he commented playfully, nuzzling and nipping at Castiel’s neck as he resumed stroked his wings, nimble fingers tenderly tracing the lines of each feather. Both Castiel’s body and his grace shuddered with delight, so delirious with ecstasy that he was barely following a word Balthazar said.
Balthazar brought their lips back together and slid his tongue along the seam of Castiel’s mouth, sliding inside and exploring once more as soon as he opened up for him. As their tongues caressed, Castiel began to lightly trail his fingers up and down Balthazar’s back, pressing insistently every so often, until the other angel understood what he wanted and allowed his wings to unfurl from his vessel as well. Castiel immediately dug his fingers into the tawny, golden feathers, matching his caresses to Balthazar’s as the other angel moaned brokenly into their kiss.
Reluctantly letting go of his wings for now, Balthazar carefully nudged Castiel from his lap and laid him back against the pillows, wings spread out comfortably underneath him; he was quick to tear Castiel’s pants and boxers from him, removing his own with a simple thought and Balthazar immediately plastered his body to Castiel’s, slotting their cocks together and grinding against him. Castiel bit his lip hard and muttered wildly to himself in Enochian, wrapping his legs around Balthazar’s waist and rocking up against him, meeting him thrust for thrust.
Seeing Castiel was fully lost in what he was feeling, Balthazar slid one hand beneath him, circling his hole with a finger before gently easing his way in, cursing quietly over how fucking tight and good Cas was, eager to be inside him completely.
Castiel was already so distracted that he clearly felt no discomfort, but for good measure, as he added a second finger, he crooked them just right and hit Cas’s prostate. Castiel gave a startled cry of delight, rocking down against Balthazar’s fingers and clutching a fistful of his wings in response. Balthazar could only grin further, kissing and sucking at the mark he’d already left on his skin, and kept going.
Gripping one another’s wings, lips pressed together as they explored each other’s mouths and bodies, graces still merging and joining as Balthazar carefully and tenderly continued to work him open, there was no part of them that was not touching- no part of them that wasn’t connected. This was so far beyond anything Castiel was familiar with, so far out of his comfort zone, and yet he felt more content than he ever had before- felt cared for in a way he’d never imagined he’d be allowed to know.
And when Balthazar finally slid inside of him, filling him so completely, leaving them joined in every way- mouths, bodies, wings, grace- it felt so much like coming home that for a moment, Castiel nearly wept with bliss, the sensation of being cherished, safe, loved, sweeping through him like a tidal wave all the whole the physical ecstasy rocked him to his core.
“Fuck, Cas; you feel so damn good,” Balthazar moaned, never wanting to pull out of his tight heat. With their bond open, the experience was doubled, both feeling the pleasure the other did, and it was easily the best thing Balthazar had ever felt in his billions of years.
“Please, Balthazar,” Castiel mewled desperately as Balthazar kept up a slow, easy rhythm, hitting deep with each thrust. He writhed frantically beneath him, heels digging into the back of Balthazar’s thighs as he tried to pull Balthazar even further into him, wanting to feel the other angel long after they’d finished the act. “Harder, I’m not going to break, please!”
“Cas,” he grunted, looking down intently into his eyes. “Next time, which I can promise you won’t be long after this, I will take you as hard and fast as you want, believe me. But I need this. I can’t have this be something quick or desperate, I need this to just be us.”
Cas nodded, the bond allowing him to understand precisely what Balthazar was trying to convey, and leaned up to kiss him once more, clutching his wings as he moved his legs, spreading them wide on the bed, message clear- that Balthazar was free to do with him whatever he wanted. Balthazar continued with the slow, steady cant of his hips, nailing Cas’s prostate with each thrust now. Castiel shuddered, feeling so on edge that it was driving him crazy.
Eventually, after what had felt like an eternity, Balthazar picked up the pace, pounding into Castiel as the headboard thumped against the wall, gripping the angel’s hips tightly and angling them to get as deep as possible into that inviting warmth and tightness, pulling Castiel into each thrust so they could feel each other as much as possible.
And finally, with one more snap of Balthazar's hips, one more stroke of his feathers, one more brush of warm, familiar grace against his own, Castiel came with a strangled cry of the other angel’s name on his lips, Balthazar following soon after, moaning out a needy, possessive ‘mine!’ against Castiel’s throat.
They lay there in the afterglow, still tangled together and breathing heavily, hands brushing soothingly against one another’s skin as feelings of love and satisfaction passed through the bond.
“Yours,” Castiel finally agreed out loud in a soft murmur, lips brushing Balthazar’s throat lightly; he could only smile at the rush of pure joy that followed.
“Yours too, y’know,” Balthazar told him warmly, curling his wings around Castiel’s shoulders, protectively embracing the angel within them. Castiel smiled warmly as he reached out, tenderly stroking the feathers with more affection than lust now. “Always have been. Can’t believe you didn’t see it.”
“At least I do now.”
“Still, a lot of lost time to make up for.”
“Somehow I doubt you mind that,” Castiel laughed. Balthazar chuckled in acknowledgment.
Balthazar began to pull out, but Castiel immediately clenched his muscles tightly, a whimper of protest escaping him.
“Don’t, please. I like feeling you inside me,” he told him with the kind of bluntness only Cas could achieve. Balthazar thought it really had no right business being as hot as it was.
Bracing his hands against Balthazar’s chest, Castiel carefully rolled them over, switching positions so he was now straddling Balthazar, the two still linked, and wordlessly leaned down and plastered himself to the other angel, kissing down his throat and his chest, simple enjoying learning Balthazar’s vessel the way he knew his true form, coming to know every inch of him.
He was rapidly understanding how sex could be so addictive to humans- he already hated the thought of leaving this bed, this moment. It wasn’t truly the physicality, though; it was just Balthazar and being as close as possible with him, connecting with him on every level he could.
“You have no idea what a tease you are sometimes, do you?” Balthazar groaned, growing hard again inside Castiel; quick refractory period was one hell of a perk to being an angel.
“Not a tease if you follow through,” Castiel hissed pleasurably, slowly beginning to roll his hips, Balthazar thrusting up to meet him. “Why have we spent eons wasting time not doing this?” he demanded, drawing a laugh from the other angel. The bright, unburdened look in his eyes that he hadn’t seen in ages was too much for Castiel to resist, and he leaned down, eagerly catching Balthazar’s lips in a sloppy open-mouthed kiss, his lack of finesse more than made up for with enthusiasm.
Castiel rode him to completion this time, hard and fast as Balthazar had promised, allowing himself less time to bask in the afterglow this go around. Right now, tempting as the thought of telling Balthazar he’d had a change of heart and wanted to run was, he knew they had to get to work. Raphael was still on the attack, and truth was, he knew allowing himself even this much freedom from his duties may not have been the right choice.
“You should rest, Castiel,” Balthazar told him before Castiel could say a word. Angels didn’t need sleep, but it didn’t mean they weren’t capable of it, and in the most demanding of circumstances, it could help rejuvenate them. Castiel sighed, knowing Balthazar wasn’t going to like this.
“There’s hardly time for that, Balthazar. We should begin figuring out what we’re going to do about Raphael, how to get to the weapons without alerting Virgil. We need-”
“You don’t need to start giving instructions like I’m one of your soldiers, Castiel,” Balthazar cut him off, giving him a pointed, warning look. When they were together, he’d discuss duties as much as necessary, but he wanted to be discussing them with Cas, not ever the detached general the rest of the angels saw.
“And you’re exhausted, Castiel, I can feel it and see it. You’re an angel, you shouldn’t be capable of feeling exhaustion, which tells me you’ve been running yourself into the ground far too long.”
“Rest isn’t exactly a luxury I have these days,” he admitted wearily.
“Neither is being too weak to fight. I’m guessing you don’t trust many of your soldiers, Castiel; when are you going to have the opportunity to recharge somewhere safe again? And don’t pretend you don’t need it, your grace is…”
“Tainted,” Castiel filled in after a beat, his voice suddenly hollow. “This war has required many regrettable things of me, and sleep will not wash that away.”
“Not tainted,” Balthazar told him fiercely, hooking a finger under his chin and forcing Cas to look him in the eyes. “Tattered, worn out. Rest will help that. Take an hour or two, let me handle coming up with something; my plans are always better than yours anyway.”
“I don’t like sleep,” Castiel said tightly, choosing to ignore the second comment. “I had to sleep when I was human. Becoming unaware of your surroundings and leaving yourself helpless isn’t a feeling I enjoy.”
“I’ll be right here, Cas. You’re not going to be helpless, not with me around.”
It was a heavy vow to make, maybe even dangerous to promise such a thing and make such an expectation of himself when this past year had proven how heavily Balthazar’s world revolved around Castiel, but it didn’t matter. Balthazar was already in too deep again to pretend that protecting himself was even an option anymore.
And right now, holding Castiel in the aftermath of their intimacy, feeling the peace and lingering ecstasy flowing between them, Balthazar no longer wanted to protect himself, no longer wanted to numb himself to a damn thing; if it meant getting this in return, Balthazar would put himself out there, and he’d do whatever necessary to follow through on those words.
The statement seemed to comfort Castiel, and he reluctantly gave a sigh of relent; rather than sliding off of Balthazar and breaking the physical connection, Castiel simply lowered himself onto Balthazar’s chest, settling in to rest.
Balthazar took a breath of surprise; it was far from unwanted, but this was unfamiliar. Not once in the last year had he stayed with whoever it was he’d just fucked; in addition to simply not caring, laying with someone was just…too much stillness. If Balthazar wasn’t doing something or someone, those were the moments that allowed thoughts of Heaven and Castiel to creep in.
Now, though, the stillness was exactly what Balthazar wanted. He wound his arms around him and cradled him tightly, stroking his wings in a soft, gentle and rhythmic manner, meant to soothe rather than pleasure this time, as he wrapped his own around them both.
Despite the fight he’d put up, Cas sighed contently against his neck now, the hint of a smile on his lips, and Balthazar’s chest tightened; he didn’t think any sight would ever beat Cas in the throes of pleasure, head thrown back as he screamed Balthazar’s name as he came for the first time, but this was a contender. Balthazar watched him peacefully for several more minutes as he drifted off, settling in to think of some solution to get around their dickbag brothers.
When Castiel awoke two hours later, to his disappointment he was alone and fully clothed on the bed, shirt that had been torn by Balthazar now mended. Balthazar wasn’t far though, pacing around by the foot of the bed, and Castiel was immediately a little more alert, sitting up quickly; the kind of energy he was feeling bouncing off of him now was exactly how Balthazar always felt when he had something to share.
“Oh, Cassie, you’re awake, good!” Balthazar greeted brightly when Castiel rose from the bed, tucking his wings away.
Castiel could tell immediately that now that the moment had passed, Balthazar had withdrawn a little more again, that he shouldn’t be expecting anymore grand displays of emotion or such a lack of airs. He was alright with that; in all honesty, outside of the heat of the moment Castiel wasn’t exactly comfortable being an open book either. And Balthazar had left the bond open; instead of one strong, intentional surge of emotion as before, there was just a simple, quiet undercurrent of love flowing, and it was plenty; Castiel didn’t need to see what he could simply feel.
“You look much better- no need to tell me I was right, you’re welcome. So, I did indeed get to thinking while you were out, and I think I have a plan, but let me tell you up front, you’re going to think it’s insane, and you’re not going to like it.”
“Balthazar, I always think your plans are insane, and I’ve never liked them, but even I can’t argue that they’re effective. Go on.”
Balthazar laid out the idea he’d come up involving alternate universes, explaining that if there was nowhere in this world where they could escape Raphael and Virgil, the solution was obviously to focus their attention elsewhere and get them out of this world altogether. Castiel already seemed dubious, and it only grew when Balthazar explained what he personally thought was the most clever part of this all (not that he was feeling a little self-congratulatory right now, not at all)- sending them somewhere where they wouldn’t have angelic powers at all, where it just so happened that their lives were a television show. He raised no argument however, and finally just sighed, shrugging.
“Yes, it’s insane. But if it actually plays out as you’re expecting, it’s also brilliant,” he admitted. Balthazar practically preened as he soaked up the compliment, and Castiel shot him an amused look. “And I don’t exactly have an alternative to offer.”
“You realize this does require trusting me with your precious Winchesters?”
“Yes,” Castiel answered simply.
With one word, Balthazar understood the gift Castiel was offering him with that kind of trust, and knew that as badly as he wanted to screw over the Winchesters at any available opportunity, this wasn’t the time.
“Can you feel out Raphael? He’s too familiar with my grace by now, he’ll pick up on me in a second, but it’s been so long since any of us have felt your presence- you might be able to get a quick read on him without him realizing.”
Balthazar nodded and took a seat, allowing his vessel to go limp and glassy eyed as he focused internally on his true form, seeking out Raphael’s grace through ‘angel radio.’ Castiel waited patiently, immediately disliking the look in Balthazar’s eyes when they came back into focus.
“He seems to be moving quicker than you anticipated; I got the sense of him setting something into motion.”
“We should as well then,” Castiel sighed, already missing this blissful reprieve he’s gotten from the war more than he should admit to himself.
“Balthazar, before we do go, I just want to let it be said…" he began slowly, fearing Balthazar would take this the wrong way and pull away again. "This war is my priority. I know it’s not something you care to hear, but it’s the truth, and I’m going to have to continue to put it first until it’s won. I meant everything I said to you tonight, but from this moment on, I may not always be able to express-”
Balthazar calmly cut off whatever he thought he needed to say in defense of himself by cradling Castiel’s face between his hands and pressing a tender kiss to his forehead, gazing at him warmly as he pulled away.
“I’m not your humans, Castiel, you don’t need to justify yourself to me. I understand. Keep yourself sane and keep yourself alive, that’s all I’m asking of you. Well, and that you keep in mind that the second we’re done dealing with Raphael, your ass is mine.”
Castiel tried to fix him with what Balthazar was now thinking of as his Stern Look, all caps, but the effect was ruined by the smile playing on the corners of his lips.
“Come on, let’s go. We’re going to have to go to the Winchesters now, so we can-”
“We? Uh-uh. It’s too dangerous for you to risk being found until you have the weapons, Cas; you need to get deep underground, somewhere Raphael won’t find you, and you need to let me handle this part.”
“You expect me to just hide somewhere while you put yourself at risk?” Castiel demanded angrily. “Balthazar, Raphael will attack you just as fiercely as them, you’ll be responsible for keeping yourself and the Winchesters alive.”
“And I can handle it just fine on my own, because hiding is exactly what I expect of you, General,” Balthazar replied pointedly. “Now’s not the time for you to be on the frontlines. Castiel, I will return the favor and trap you in a ring of holy fire somewhere safe if you don’t go willingly.”
Castiel stared him down for a moment, but Balthazar didn’t waiver, and Castiel looked away in frustration.
“You clearly just missed the glory of battle more than you’ll admit, want to get back into the swing of things yourself,” he muttered, drawing a laugh.
“I take that as acceptance. Do you have a place in mind? I can think of a few if you need.”
“I’d rather not be stashed in the back room at some den of inequity you’ve frequented.”
"Can’t deny Raphael wouldn’t look there.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
“Where will you go?”
“I know a place,” Castiel replied vaguely, eyes flickering downward. Balthazar shrugged.
“Ooh, intrigue, I like that. We’d best be going our separate ways now, Castiel, but we’ll continue this later,” he promised, pressing another lingering kiss to Castiel’s lips. “There’s a lot I’m looking forward to teaching you…” Balthazar trailed off for a moment, shivering in delicious anticipation as he allowed himself to picture showing Castiel all the things that tie of his could be good for. “And we have several millennia’s worth of lost time to make up for, as I said. But right now, I believe we have some ass to kick, names to take, and a Heaven to restore.”
“You spend eternity as one of Heaven’s most loyal soldiers, and in one night you steal the most powerful weapons the host possesses and disappear, living as least like an angel as possible. Now, where only hours ago you were set on convincing me that I was fighting for a lost cause, you’re raring to jump in headfirst and end this war yourself- you do nothing halfway, do you, Balthazar?” Castiel asked, eyes glittering with amusement.
“Where’s the fun in that?” Balthazar tssk’d, grinning. “Of course I don’t; if you’re going to do something, go all out and do it right- I’m a dedicated angel, Cas. You’ll see later how beneficial that attitude is for you,” he added seductively, winking.
Castiel merely grinned before flying off to take shelter, and Balthazar, despite being about to throw himself into the thick of war and make himself public enemy number two with a wrathful archangel, felt more heartened than he had in ages, the desire to run from the past and numb himself from it gone- actually looking forward to what the future had to offer was so much better.