Second Sight, Part 5/9: You're In Awe Of How Selfless I Am
PREVIOUS
Part 5: You're In Awe Of How Selfless I Am
She told me to
Walk this way
Talk this way
A just gimme a kiss
Like this
(Walk This Way, Aerosmith)
"Ichigo, my roommate needs the car."
The fun thing about phone calls as opposed to text messaging, Renji discovered, was that he was able to actually hear Ichigo losing his shit when he realized the implication of Renji's breaking news. That being, Renji wouldn't be able to come to Ichigo's studio that day for their weekly meeting.
"I hate your roommate," Ichigo finally said, after a considerable amount of hissing and curse words.
"You're just saying that 'cause you're still wondering if we've ever hooked up." Ichigo might like to pretend he was being stealthy, but after asking twice, his interest hadn't exactly gone by Renji.
"Well, did you?" Ichigo asked quickly, like he couldn't stop himself.
Renji laughed. By then, the reason he didn't answer was the principle of the matter. "Look, I know we're friends now, but it's still none of your business."
Ichigo huffed. "I hate you."
Yeah right. "So what do you wanna do?"
Ichigo paused before asking cautiously, "About what?"
"Me not being able to come over, idiot."
"Oh, I'll just come over to your place."
What the fuck. "You're supposed to ask for permission before deciding stuff like that, y'know."
"Like you'll say no? I know you like me."
And that was the problem. Renji did.
Ichigo was an annoying brat, that part hadn't changed. What had changed was that he was fun to mess with, that he didn't bitch about stuff that might actually sting if he did, and that when Renji had barely been able to hold himself upright, his first instinct had been to go to Ichigo for help, and Ichigo had been nothing but trustworthy. What had changed was that Renji had gotten laid not too long ago, but instead of basking in it-because fuck it'd been a long time coming-his thoughts had kept coming back to what he and Ichigo might do the next day.
And he'd seen it, seen that tiny bit of hurt in Ichigo's eyes when he spotted Renji's hickey, but he'd ignored it because addressing whatever might have been going on between them would have been awkward, and neither of them did awkward well. Then the realization that there might really be something going on between them had made him panic and start to talk about the club, until Ichigo had shut him up. And the next thing out of his mouth had been that Ichigo wasn't the boss of him, because he'd maybe needed to prove that to both of them.
Instead of bitching and kicking him out and being a girl and making things awkward, Ichigo had drawn him with a pirate hat. So yeah, Ichigo was great and Renji liked him. Whatever, it wasn't like he could tell the jackass that. He was bigheaded enough as it was.
"Fuck you, I could be busy. I work three nights a week now," he said, instead of all of those things.
"Right. So which bus route should I take?"
Renji told him, a bit grudgingly, and then realized that Ichigo was coming over and went to put on some clothes. Of course, Ichigo texted him five minutes later, so Renji only had time to put on a pair of jeans and find a belt.
It turned out Ichigo hadn't arrived, he’d just gotten bored and thought Renji should entertain him. Renji rolled his eyes and gave up on finding a shirt, simply picking up his white jacket and throwing it on his bare torso.
He texted back that he thought Ichigo was the kind of guy who liked silence and being alone, therefore probably spending bus rides huddled up in himself and attached to an iPod. Ichigo only said that losing that was a fair price to pay for annoying Renji through texts. Renji called him an asshole, but didn't mention that he wasn't really annoyed.
He ended up sprawling on one of the long lawn chairs on the balcony and texting Ichigo for twenty minutes, which was stupid since Ichigo was on his way over, but Renji tried not to think about that.
He was a bit startled when the next time his phone vibrated it wasn't a text message, but a phone call.
"Let me in," Ichigo said. Renji cursed for a few seconds, because the weather was fantastic and his and Shuuhei's balcony was legendary in its comfortableness-two lawn chairs and a mini fridge (with beer) which Ikkaku had given them when they'd moved in, because Ikakku was epic. Plus the view was great from the tenth floor; you could even see the hills that characterized the outskirts of Seireitei.
Finally, he got up and buzzed Ichigo in, only to head back to the balcony without waiting for him. He was pretty sure Ichigo could manage letting himself into an apartment. Probably.
"Where are you?"
Even if Ichigo's peripheral vision sucked. Jeez, I'm only ten feet from the front door.
"I'm on the deck!" he yelled while sitting back down on the lawn chair.
"You know you're not really a pirate, right?" Ichigo asked from inside, for some reason sounding farer than nearer. Renji looked over his shoulder into the apartment and found that he couldn't even see Ichigo.
"The balcony, dumbass. Follow my voice or something."
Ichigo poked his head into the hallway where Renji could see him again, frowning and beginning to bitch, "That doesn't really work if-" but then he finally turned his head in the right direction and for once, shut up.
Renji went back to staring over the railing, feeling oddly pensive. He heard Ichigo pad across the hallway and onto the balcony. "You know I've never been here, you can't expect me to guess where you might be. Plus, it's-"
He stopped talking suddenly, and Renji turned his head toward him, raising an eyebrow in question. Ichigo was holding a big bag in front of him and seemed frozen for some reason. Then Renji looked up and found Ichigo's eyes glued to him.
He should have gotten used to it by then. Ichigo always gave him once-overs when they met up, especially when it was the weekly session, but this time felt different. Because it was the first real session since he'd crashed at Ichigo's place. Because it was in his home. Because Ichigo was still staring, and because Renji didn't mind in the least.
He forced himself to roll his eyes. "Is it the hair again?"
Ichigo snapped out of it, and looked Renji in the eye. Whatever had been on his face before was gone and he just looked mildly irritated, but he always looked mildly irritated so it was comforting.
"No, Renji, it was the realization that you're stupid. Are you sunbathing?"
Renji knew Ichigo was lying, but he was willing to go with it. Though it was a bit confusing, until he realized what Ichigo was referring to. "No. Since you kept badgering me on the way here I didn't have time to put on a shirt."
And his jacket was unzipped, which he guessed would explain the staring. It wasn't like he worked out to get attention, he was required to stay fit and sharp, but he got attention nonetheless.
"And the hair?" Ichigo asked, completing the process of lifting his bag and then sifting through it for something.
Renji smirked. "That part's just for you." He didn't really have another reason for keeping it down, to be honest.
It took a moment, during which Renji feared Ichigo might have taken him seriously, but then Ichigo snorted and looked up at him like he couldn't take him seriously even if he tried. "You know, one of these days you're gonna realize you're not as awesome as you think you are."
Renji laughed, and turned in his lawn chair so he was facing Ichigo. To make a point. "I'm not the one filling a portfolio with pictures of you, now am I?"
Ichigo's face fell in a second, and he was scowling when he told Renji to fuck off, before looking over the railing.
Renji couldn't help it; he nudged Ichigo with his foot in a weirdly apologetic way. "You adore me," he added, because it was true, and since when did he have to apologize for that?
Ichigo huffed, but he was looking back at him and his lips were curled in a mean smile. "I do not, you ass."
Right, and I'm the moron. He wanted to make another point about Ichigo being a dumbass-how could he even sunbathe when the sun was setting?-but then Ichigo suddenly glared at him.
"If you expect me to put my equipment on top of a mini fridge, you are dead wrong," he said sharply.
Okay, Renji hadn't thought of that. As legendary as the balcony was, you couldn't really work on it. "What if I bring a table over?" he asked, trying to convey how much he didn't want to sit inside.
He stayed in his bedroom when he was depressed and in the living room when he was bored, and right then he was neither because Ichigo was there, so he didn't want to risk the place itself forcing a certain mood on him. On the balcony he wasn't confined to anything.
The message must have gone through, because Ichigo just gritted his teeth and said, "Fine. It's your house, do what you want." And Renji knew it must have hurt to say that, so he appreciated it a little more.
He got to his feet and walked into the apartment, scanning the living room for-there, a small, low table which looked more like a stool than anything. It should support Ichigo's camera. Unless that bag was like the desk-bigger than it seemed-and Ichigo was going to pull a studio out of it.
He lifted it and started turning back to the balcony when the phone rang. Renji grunted and detoured, hoping Ichigo wouldn't mind.
"What's up?" Shuuhei asked as soon as Renji picked up.
Knowing Shuuhei, that question was far from casual. "You don't have to keep calling to check in on me, you know."
"Yeah, remember last month? Since you got your ass kicked the last time I let you out without supervision, I think it's understandable."
And really, Shuuhei was the only person in Renji's life who got to say that without getting punched. Renji would have pinched the bridge of his nose if his other hand hadn't been full of table. "I'm not exactly without supervision."
"Oh, shit, I'm sorry. Is it the one you got busy with when we went out?" Which was a rather flattering assumption.
"No," he reassured regretfully. "It's just Ichigo."
"Are you two sleeping together yet?"
Oh, come on.
Renji turned his back to the balcony when he spoke, because saying "No way man, why would you think that?" to Ichigo's face would have felt more like a lie than Renji was willing to admit right then.
"Right, of course, just epic bromance."
Renji was so surprised by the casual speech that he said the first thing that came to mind, "Yeah man, like you and me."
The heavy silence that came after that was like a fist. To the balls. Spelling out 'you are an idiot'.
"Are you sure you thought that comparison through?" Shuuhei finally asked, making Renji shut his eyes and curse himself.
"I hate you."
Shuuhei chuckled. "Take care, Renji. And when you do sleep together, keep it in your room."
Renji hung up, denied the existence of that conversation, and finally turned back to the balcony. He put the table down silently and was about to announce his presence, but when he looked up at Ichigo his brain was wiped out momentarily.
Ichigo was leaning on the railing with his elbows, one hand on the rusty metal and the other on the back of his neck. The sunset had progressed during Renji's little trip inside, and right then the sky was almost orange and getting darker, like it was dimming at the edges of Renji's eyes.
Ichigo just stood in the middle of the sunset like he was the one responsible for the phenomenon, the sun behind his form burning bright and making his hair even more unbelievable flashy. He knew Ichigo must have been slouching forward to lean on the railing, but it always seemed to Renji like he was standing tall, his back muscles standing out in the natural light.
It was his face that caught Renji's attention, though. It was the most real Renji had ever seen him. He wondered for the first time if, after spending so much of his time running around remarkable things to draw or photograph, anyone had ever told Ichigo he wasn't so bad himself.
He suppressed the urge to put his hand on Ichigo's shoulder and find out if he was okay, and instead kicked the table so it scratched the floor loudly. Just like that, Ichigo assumed his frown and turned to look at Renji, who only then realized he'd better get a hold of his own expression if he didn't want to let anything on.
Ichigo looked at the table and hummed approvingly, putting his bag on it and pulling out his camera. He busied himself with clicking the things Renji had never gotten around to ask about, and Renji used that time to shake his head and sit down on the lawn chair closer to the railing.
"Right, I wanna take pictures quickly to make use of the sunset, because different lighting always makes things better and I don't even need to explain how your red hair would work here."
Of course not. Renji laughed, wondering how Ichigo didn't think it was a weird thing to say.
Then Ichigo glared at him like Renji wasn't being serious enough for his liking, and stepped as far from him as he could. He ended up leaning against the opposite railing, and idly secured the camera strap around his neck. Renji wondered if Ichigo would jump over the railing after the camera if it were to fall. Renji'd probably have enough time to catch his legs, though. Yeah, it would be heroic.
He noticed the click of the shutter button before he noticed Ichigo had even raised his camera, and abruptly stood up. "Wait a sec, where do you want me?"
Ichigo gave the mother of all exasperated groans. "Stand by the railing so I can catch your profile, and look up."
Not arguing, even though Ichigo's tone was really pushing it, Renji leaned with his hands on the railing and tried to find interesting clouds or skyscrapers from the industrial part of Seireitei while Ichigo clicked away.
A sudden breeze took him by surprise a few minutes later, and he hurriedly pulled the hood of his jacket up so his hair wouldn't get in his face. After a second thought he zipped his jacket up a few inches, slightly annoyed that his perfect weather was ruined, probably because of Ichigo.
Oh, Ichigo. He turned his head to look at him and ask if what he'd done was okay, but the second he did, a series of clicks welcomed him. He tried to stay perfectly still and yet convey that he was growing more and more annoyed (though his left eye was concealed by the hood, so the glaring wasn't really working).
After a minute Ichigo lowered the camera from his face, and didn't spare Renji even a glance before clicking on it and then staring at the display screen intently. And if Ichigo wasn't even going to look at him, well, then fuck it.
He stepped back from the railing and walked over to Ichigo, trying to peek at the display screen. Ichigo held it closer to him like it was his baby, but other than that he didn't show he was annoyed with Renji. Which was new, and probably meant the pictures were good.
He was surprised when Ichigo vocalized that thought. "That one turned out great."
Renji's interest was piqued. Ichigo had never told him right away whether he was pleased or not, usually he had to find that out when Ichigo sent him stupid text messages at the crack of dawn.
"Really?" he asked, trying to sound surprised and not excited. "You gonna use it in your project thingy?"
Ichigo nodded, making Renji even more interested. He wanted to look, but had a feeling that if he touched the camera one of them was going to end up over the railing. "What will you call it?" he asked instead.
Ichigo shrugged. "I don't know. Fire?"
Renji glanced at the sky. It was mostly red now. "I like that."
Ichigo finally looked up at him, smirking. "It's cute that you think your opinion matters."
And the moment was gone. Renji glared at him, hard, and crossed his arms. "Shut the fuck up, it so matters."
Ichigo chuckled, but not in a 'you're so silly to even think that' way, but in a 'yeah, it does' way. Renji realized he was smiling, and immediately turned around and entered the hallway. It was getting colder anyway.
"You know, Shuuhei will be gone till morning," he yelled in the balcony's general direction, and suddenly realized how much it sounded like a come-on, and it wasn't, and he was pretty ready to kick himself.
"So?" Ichigo yelled back. Renji was immeasurably grateful Ichigo hadn't taken the bait.
He finally went through with his original line of thought. "Wanna watch some British soap opera?"
"Is that how they named all of them?"
If things had ever stopped being normal, they were getting there again. Only Renji definitely needed to put on a shirt.
*
Since the night Ichigo had visited Renji's apartment there had been a few uneventful weeks. He’d had a few exams, met Urahara twice (apparently Urahara had gotten banned from some gambling group for reasons Ichigo wasn't allowed to hear, so according to him he had nothing better to do than bug teenagers about their inadequate portfolios), met Renji pretty much all the time, and even got Professor Zangetsu to look at his project idea.
It had all been so normal and productive that Ichigo ended up almost waiting for the other shoe to drop. Almost, because even though he knew something was about to go wrong, he was still startled when he got a phone call from his dad.
Sure, it was always startling when the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song started bellowing at him (in Renji's presence, no less, because Ichigo's life was just that sweet), but after things going well for a while-not that he counted things getting better between him and Renji a victory-Ichigo almost dropped all his pens when he raced to the phone.
The whole independence thing had never really extended to his family. It was harder than he'd like to admit not to see his sisters every day, even after living in Seireitei for more than a year. He wouldn't call their family codependent or anything, but after his mom had died things had… changed.
He didn't think the twins realized how much he cared for them-while they'd grown closer to each other, he'd had to distance himself and step up to do all the honorable big brother stuff-but he really did, and despite the barriers of emotional crap between all of them, he could never have done what Ishida had done: leaving everyone behind and going to university abroad.
He tried to visit Karakura every other week, to see for himself that everyone was okay and the house didn't break down, and also because he couldn't stand the thought that the Karakura resident he currently saw most was Urahara. Not cool.
Then there was the fact his sisters had turned eighteen and Karin had left home and, okay, he'd maybe never really sat them down for talks or tried to teach them things, but if the law wasn't stopping them from having sex with people anymore, it fell on him.
Getting a call from his dad was less usual than from Yuzu and Karin combined (his dad was all about releasing Ichigo into the wild to make a man out of him), so just him calling spelled trouble. Then Ichigo answered. And his dad said that Yuzu had gone to get a saline solution from a high cabinet, and she'd fallen off the ladder she'd been using. And Ichigo was only able to yell, "She what?!" because seriously what the fuck.
The answer was that she'd landed on her back and twisted her ankle when she'd tried to break the fall, but by the time dad called she was totally fine and the only reason he let Ichigo know was that he knew Ichigo would have kicked his ass if he hadn't. Which wasn't an answer at all, and Ichigo was still going to kick his ass.
He continued exchanging insults with his dad, but it was half-assed because shit, shit, shit, Yuzu. He knew stuff like that happened, and if his dad said she was fine he was telling the truth, but none of that mattered because Yuzu got hurt.
Ichigo didn't shut down or swear to avenge, he just became so angry he punched a wall and yelled at his dad for five more minutes. People should know better than to fall off shit while he was away. How was he supposed to handle this news? He felt like apologizing to her, and maybe carrying her around for a bit, but he knew Yuzu would have none of either.
He hung up, and was about to punch something again when a strong hand settled on his arm, and he suddenly remembered he'd been in the middle of sketching Renji when his dad had called, and crap. Whatever stability they might have gotten going in their five-month friendship, they were not ready for Renji to witness Ichigo freaking out about his sisters.
"What's wrong?" Renji asked, his voice low and serious, and Ichigo didn't remember permitting Renji to sit closer to him. At that moment, he couldn't care less.
The longer he stayed in one place the more likely it was for him to start panicking (shit, shit, shit, Yuzu), so he shrugged Renji's hand off and stood up determinedly. "It's my sister. I gotta head up to Karakura."
Renji stood up as well, and he wasn't any farther away standing than he was sitting. It was really starting to mess with Ichigo's head, and it just wasn't the time.
"You're gonna take the bus like that?" Renji asked, sounding unimpressed. "You look like you're about to kill someone."
Ichigo hissed, and started walking to the dresser to pick up his stuff. It wasn't until that moment that he noticed how stiff he'd become, how his fists were still clenched tight. But he figured that if there was a good time to flip out and be unreasonable, it was after your sister got hurt while you were in another city. So he snapped, "I can fucking manage, Renji."
"Fuck you," Renji said, and Ichigo thought that was it and Renji would walk out and Ichigo could focus and make sense out of this mess and deal with the consequences later, but then Renji said, "I'll drive you," and if Ichigo felt relieved, well, that was stupid.
He strode back to the couch to pick up a jacket, avoiding Renji at all costs. "Don't be an idiot, I don't need your help."
"Yeah, but the people you'll-seriously, stop." Renji grabbed him by the shoulder, forcing him to stop walking and look at him. His dark eyes were void of the meanness usually directed at Ichigo, and it threw him off. "It's no problem. It's your family."
And he meant it, and fuck. Right then Ichigo just felt like a shitty brother and he'd failed Yuzu and Renji wasn't supposed to be nice to him all of a sudden, or to feel sorry for him. No way. "Yeah, mine. I can't ask you-I'm supposed to take care of this shit."
Renji still didn't let go of his shoulder or seem convinced in any way, and Ichigo had to look elsewhere or the next thing out of his mouth would be, Renji, my baby sister got hurt, what am I supposed to do?
He heard Renji groan. "For fuck's sake, I wanna help. Shut up and come on."
Even under the stress and not-panic, Ichigo felt a familiar pang at being told what to do, because screw Renji, he could do it himself. "It's a forty minute drive, I'd rather-"
Instead of telling him to shut up again, Renji just tightened his grip on Ichigo's shoulder and, rather than being reassuring, he started steering him toward the door. Ichigo tried to shake it off again, but shit, he really was stiff as a board. The realization that he couldn't fight Renji made another realization surface-he really didn't want to.
He never actually voiced his surrender (he didn't think he was physically capable of that), but he let Renji guide him to the door without further struggle. Renji apparently noticed and loosened his hold, but he didn't release Ichigo's shoulder, and Ichigo was fine with that for the time being.
Renji owned a nice Honda Accord, and the second they settled in and Renji turned the key in the ignition, the stereo blasted Aerosmith, and Ichigo was so blindsided he found himself actually chuckling while cursing Renji. Renji didn't even turn the volume down, he just switched to a different, quieter song. It was another Aerosmith song, which meant it was a CD, which meant it was going to be one fun ride.
"Crazy fuck, who listens to music at that volume?" Ichigo asked, avoiding the urge to clean the ringing out of his ears with a finger.
Renji didn't peek or glance in his direction; he full on turned his head in Ichigo's direction while driving in reverse. The fearing for his life was rudely interrupted by the way Renji was smiling at him. "You're talkin' to me again?"
Ichigo rolled his eyes and looked out the window. "I'm still against this idea." It came out harsher than he'd meant, but considering that yelling and bitching at him hadn't deterred Renji, Ichigo doubted this would. He doubted Renji even expected him to be civil right then.
He was pulled out of his thoughts by Renji knocking their shoulders together. "I'm only doing this to meet your sugar daddy."
And Ichigo chuckled. Again. He knew Renji shouldn't be making him feel better, but for just one moment he let himself feel grateful to have Renji as a friend. The moment abruptly ended when he processed what Renji had said and oh, fuck, Renji's coming to Karakura Town.
"I gotta call my dad and tell him we're coming. Also, over my dead body will you meet Urahara."
He was surprised that when he called home Karin picked up the phone, and even more when all she said was "And?" when he told her he was on his way over.
"Goatface already told me you were coming. Are you on a bus?"
Of course dad assumed I was coming after our conversation. Ichigo cleared his throat. "No, a friend's driving me." To avoid any questions, he quickly added, "How's Yuzu doing?"
"I think she's secretly excited to have a Kurosaki reunion. She joked about falling more often."
He snorted. "I'll kill her if she does."
"Yeah, I told her you would. Wanna talk to her?"
Ichigo… couldn't really trust himself in those moments. He needed to see her first. "Nah, just tell her I'll be there soon."
"And that you're bringing a friend."
Ichigo pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to think of a scenario in which Renji met his dad and it didn't end badly. He couldn't. "Yeah, you can tell her that too. How'd you get there so fast, anyway?"
"I got on a bus as soon as dad texted me. Could you believe it? Fucking texted me."
Ichigo cringed. "Don't curse." Of course, that made Renji laugh at him, and he covered his phone to hiss, "Shut the fuck up, Renji."
"Right," He heard Karin say when he held the phone to his ear again. "Anyway, when I got here Yuzu made a fuss about causing me trouble, but I know she was happy to see me, so…"
There was no need to continue. "I know. See you soon, Karin."
She hung up first, and Ichigo dropped the phone to his lap and ran his hand over his face.
"Was she the other sister?" Renji asked. Ichigo suddenly noticed the music had been turned off. The silence didn't feel right between them, but asking for Renji's music felt even more wrong.
"Yeah," he said, leaning back and trying to get comfortable. He'd never found use for a car-each year he'd either lived too far or too close to campus to really need one-and every time he did end up in one felt uncomfortable at the beginning.
"So something happened to… Yuzu?" It didn't sound like Renji was guessing, more like he was being cautious around Ichigo. He thought it was important that Renji remembered something like his sisters' names, but he couldn't figure out why.
He studied him when he answered, "Yeah. She twisted her ankle."
He was surprised when Renji's features relaxed, like he'd been genuinely worried something life-threatening had happened. Renji immediately grinned and turned the music back on, the volume startling Ichigo all over again.
If Renji was going to sing 'Walk This Way', Ichigo was out.
"You're gonna have to give me directions once we're out of Seireitei, y'know," Renji said loudly, which made Ichigo straighten up and stare out the windshield vigilantly.
"Remember the intersection?" he asked, trying not to smirk when Renji, expectedly, scowled and started cursing. He still got lost every now and then, it was hilarious to Ichigo. "This time, like many, many other times, turn left instead of right."
He saw Renji grip the steering wheel angrily with both hands. "You mean all those times if I hadn't called you when something felt wrong I would have ended up in your hometown?"
He wanted to ask, you mean when you saw signs of places you didn't recognize, not when something felt wrong, right? But he didn't really want to know. "Basically," he answered, because once you got out of Seireitei, Karakura Town was pretty much straight ahead of you.
"Great. I bet everything closes when it gets dark. And everybody knows everybody. And all the teenagers are nerds like you, except for those who become government agents and ninjas."
Ichigo smacked Renji's arm, because driver or not, he deserved it. "It's not a village, Jesus." And then, for good measure, added, "And I'm not a nerd."
Renji laughed disbelievingly. "You're an awkward batshit art guy who never goes to college parties. Or gets laid."
What the fuck. Ichigo put his feet on the seat defiantly, hoping to get it dirty and for his knee to hit Renji's eye if they got into an accident. "I'm not awkward. And just because I don't go to parties doesn't mean I don't get laid."
So after the hickey incident Ichigo may have hooked up with a mouthy art major he'd found sculpting in a nearby studio on campus, because the studio had been otherwise empty and the guy was hot and sculpted shirtless and the thought that it was somehow related to Renji hadn't even crossed his mind. Well, even if it had in the beginning, the second the guy had lifted him, shoved his back against a hunk of metal and got rid of both their pants and underwear before wrapping Ichigo's legs around his waist, he had pretty much stopped thinking.
"You mean this is what you're like after getting laid?" Renji asked, sounding shocked.
Ichigo smacked him again. "Will I have to listen to your bullshit for the next forty minutes?"
"Got your mind off things, didn't I?" Renji said with a good-natured grin, looking at him again.
Guess you did. Thank you. "Look at the road," he ended up saying.
Renji barked a laugh. "You are so grateful. You're in awe of how selfless I am. You appreciate me. You-"
"Oh god, shut up already!" Ichigo yelled, turning the volume up. Right when 'Dream On' hit its highest note. Ichigo hated his life.
Renji stopped taunting him (though it was possible Ichigo getting deafened helped with that), but five minutes later, Ichigo was so cranky that Renji's drumming on the steering wheel was incredibly annoying even on its own.
"Wanna listen to something else?" Renji asked suddenly.
Ichigo glanced at him a bit suspiciously. Both because for him to detect Ichigo's crankiness he must not have been looking at the road and would probably kill them both, and also because he was being nice again.
Of course, that was when 'I Don't Want to Miss a Thing' started, and Ichigo was almost obligated to say "Yes, fuck."
He was instructed to open the glove compartment, and a second after he did that he nearly jumped out of his skin because Renji yelled, "Ha! Now get me a candy bar from there!"
The only thing Ichigo could say was "Dude, heart attack", and he punched Renji's shoulder again because dude, heart attack. So that was the reason for being nice. Ichigo wasn't sure how healthy it was to eat candy bars from glove compartments while driving, but right then he kind of hoped for Renji to choke, so he pulled out a Mars bar and threw it at Renji's lap.
It turned out Renji hadn't completely tricked him; there were CDs in the glove compartment, more as he dug deeper into it. He had to laugh, though. More Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC.
"Wha's so funny?" Renji asked. He sounded like the entire candy bar was in his mouth, which Ichigo wouldn't exactly mind seeing, but he was busier with the glove compartment.
Ted Nuget, Kiss, Deep Purple. "Cock rock, Renji, really?"
"Shuuhei an' I collect," Renji said, sounding far too smug for a person getting mocked.
Ichigo searched deeper into the compartment, hoping to find something more incriminating. Bon Jovi, Van Halen, a condom wrapper-wait, the fuck?
"Why is there an empty condom wrapper in your car?" he asked, frowning.
His breath was suddenly knocked out of him because, Jesus fuck, either his question had made Renji swerve the fucking car or he'd made a sharp turn and Ichigo had been too absorbed in his finds to brace himself. Either way, Ichigo's shoulder bumped hard into the window and, pretty convinced he was going to crash, he grabbed the first thing he could.
Of course, he hadn't realized what that was until the car was in the right lane and he was alive and just felt a bit stupid. He was clutching Renji's thigh.
"Shuuhei keeps 'em there. I'm more of a classy guy, y'know?"
And Renji didn't seem to care. Like Ichigo hadn't been stressed enough, now he had to think about touching Renji's thigh with one hand and an empty condom wrapper with the other and his baggy jeans were not baggy enough if Ichigo could feel Renji's muscles and-
Renji started singing 'Walk This Way'. Ichigo hated his life.
He snatched back his hand and vowed to stay completely quiet and still for the rest of the drive-fifteen minutes. That vow lasted about five of those, because Renji poked him and asked, "What's wrong, stupid?"
When they finally entered Karakura Town, the familiar, warm feeling of nostalgia and home didn't come to him, instead replaced by urgency, which intensified when Renji parked in front of his house and they got out of the car.
As… special as it had been to drive with Renji, now that he was there all he could think about was Yuzu. Six years old, falling, getting dirty, crying. Ten years old, falling, smiling at everyone so as not to bother them, and putting a Band-Aid on herself. Eighteen years old, falling off a ladder while Ichigo was just hanging out, being strapped to a bed because her back was-
"Ichi!" she yelled, running toward him from the clinic, and oh, thank fuck. So his dad really hadn't been lying when he'd said she was fine. Ichigo would have made the trip ten times over to make absolutely sure, though.
They hugged a bit awkwardly (Karin had decided she was too cool to hug him when she’d turned fifteen, but Yuzu kept doing it each time he visited, even when she was eighteen and he was twenty one and still four heads taller than her), and there was his nostalgia and feeling of home. Just that moment made everything better.
"You'd better duck," Yuzu suddenly said and slipped away from his arms, and Ichigo barely had time to groan and turn around before he had to block a kick from his father and jump back to avoid a punch.
Isshin Kurosaki had turned fifty last summer, his beard was getting grayer and he needed larger clothes each Christmas, but he still tried to kick Ichigo's ass every time he saw him, because Isshin Kurosaki was amazing like that.
At least each time he gave up sooner than the last. The speech remained, though. "Oh, Ichigo, you have grown so big and strong, clearly following in your daddy's footsteps. Not a day goes by without the feeling of pride swelling in my chest when I think about my strapping young son-" He dodged Ichigo's punch, which was pretty impressive because after repeating the speech in front of Renji, Ichigo really, really meant to hit him hard.
So that's two taken care of. Ichigo looked over his dad's shoulder to the lit front porch just behind him (it must have gotten dark after Renji had tried to kill them the second time and before they'd agreed on Deep Purple), and found Karin standing there, smiling at him with her arms crossed.
"Hello," Yuzu suddenly chirped. Ichigo looked down at her with a raised eyebrow, and noticed she hadn't spoken to him.
Oh great, here we go. He heard some movement behind him, and then felt Renji step up right next to him. It was kind of funny to see Yuzu have to turn her head up to keep her eyes on Renji.
Yuzu looking at Renji.
Fuck, that was just surreal.
Renji waved at her, which Ichigo figured was way better than a handshake. He secretly thought Renji must have gained some cool points from Karin, if she was still keeping count.
"Hello. I'm Abarai."
Ichigo rolled his eyes and knocked shoulders with Renji, because honestly, he didn't deserve any cool points. "You sound like a gangbanger," he muttered, and then said to everyone, "He's Renji."
Yuzu's smile didn't waver during the exchange, because Yuzu Kurosaki was kind of amazing too. "It's nice to meet you," she said politely.
Ichigo looked up and found Renji was smiling at her. Usually that would earn him a kick to the groin, but right then Ichigo was… glad, for some reason.
"Yeah, you too," Renji said easily. "I'm sorry you got hurt."
Yuzu quickly waved her hand in dismissal and looked away embarrassedly, and for that Renji was definitely getting punched later.
"I'm just sorry I worried Ichigo so much," she said.
"That's 'cause he's an idiot," Renji muttered under his breath.
Ichigo shoved him again, leaning a bit closer to whisper, "You're the one who insisted on coming with me."
"Yeah, 'cause you're an idiot," Renji replied none too quietly and nudged Ichigo's shoulder.
Karin cleared her throat farther from them, and Ichigo could have killed Renji. Yuzu kept her smile on, but when she glanced between him and Renji, she seemed a bit mischievous. "How long have you been together?"
Yes. Kill Renji. Ichigo nearly spluttered. "We're not. Together, I mean."
"Like hell," was the only thing Renji had to say, and Ichigo was so grateful he didn't even think whether he should be hurt or not.
Yuzu looked down and said, "Oh, I'm sorry," but she didn't sound convinced.
"We're friends, really." Ichigo slapped Renji's shoulder a bit too hard to be affectionate and friendly, because he was neither and damn it, he really hated this trip. "He drove me here."
Yuzu's head immediately snapped up, and Ichigo got what Karin had meant when she'd said that Yuzu was secretly excited. His suspicion was verified when she said, "Well then, you must stay for the night!"
A collective "Huh?" was heard, but Ichigo liked to think his was the most annoyed. Covertly, of course, because nobody wanted to hurt Yuzu's feelings, but what the fuck. Renji could not stay for the night. It was a disaster waiting to happen, it was Renji in Ichigo's home with Ichigo's family, it was wrong and it was not happening.
"I can't let you drive back at this hour. I'll make you tea. I will make us all tea."
And just like that, Renji was staying for the night. For all her sweet smiles and kind eyes, Yuzu was really fucking terrifying when she wanted to be.
"Excellent idea, dear!" his dad, who had been suspiciously quiet about the whole thing until then, chimed in.
Renji apparently got the same vibe as Ichigo, and neither argued when Renji was ushered into the house. He doubted Renji minded as much as he did, after all, there were free beverages involved, but it must have been weird.
It got even weirder for Ichigo sooner rather than later. Yuzu did make tea, even though everyone told her to stay off her feet and they all preferred coffee anyway (Renji muttered beer, and Ichigo kicked him).
Once they were all in the living room, Renji practically grabbed the chair next to the one Ichigo sat on. Ichigo didn't blame him, not with three perfect strangers studying his every move. That Ichigo was the safe choice was laughable, though.
If Ichigo had originally thought it would be okay to bring Renji along because the focus of this visit was going to be on Yuzu anyway, it finally dawned on him how wrong he'd been. His dad was the least obvious about the interest in Renji, and Karin had to interrupt his bad joke when she asked "So how'd you two meet?" over the rim of her cup.
Surprisingly, Renji started answering easily, "He asked me to sit on-"
"He was at the exhibition Urahara got me into," Ichigo cut him off, because fucking hell, it was like Renji was trying to torture him on purpose.
Renji grumbled next to him, and whispered, "It's annoying when you do that."
"You're annoying."
"Fu-"
"Don't curse," Ichigo hissed, because if there was one thing he could control in this surreal situation, it was that no one would curse in front of his sisters. He thought he heard Renji grind his teeth.
"Speaking of Urahara," Yuzu said quickly, "When he heard you were visiting he said he'd drop by tomorrow."
Renji made an honest-to-god excited little sound, and when Ichigo looked at him wide-eyed, Renji didn't look the least bit repentant. He was smirking widely and looking a bit giddy. "Looks like-"
"Oh shut up, Renji." He forgot to whisper that. Shit.
Rescue came from his dad, of all people, who said, "What a wonderful display of friendship! Now I'll finish my joke!" and he did, and Renji laughed, and his dad high-fived Renji, and it might have been the weirdest moment in Ichigo's life.
Tea/reunion stories ended later than usual, to Ichigo's horror (every fucking time he glanced at Renji, the guy looked like he was having the time of his life), and they all watched a little TV.
Yuzu fell asleep first, as usual, leaning on Karin's shoulder while Karin read some football magazine. Ichigo looked Yuzu over. She didn't seem troubled by any physical pain, even though she'd fallen from a stupid ladder just a few hours ago. If anything, she looked… happy, and when Ichigo looked at Karin's face she was doing a good job at pretending she was annoyed that Yuzu had fallen asleep on her, but not good enough. He wondered if Karin visited more often than he.
Of course, during his little examination he hadn't noticed a conversation had sparked between Renji and his dad, and oh god, Renji was telling his dad a dirty joke. Ichigo immediately decided it was time for all of them to go to bed.
That led to his dad explaining to Renji where Ichigo's old room was, because of course he was sleeping there. Renji thanked him without even looking at Ichigo, and they both watched Karin help Yuzu up the stairs to their old shared bedroom. His dad went up next, and suddenly it was just the two of them and silence in Ichigo's old living room.
"This is weird," Ichigo finally admitted aloud, leaving his chair in favor of the much comfier couch.
"I know. I mean, tea," Renji said, following Ichigo even though he hadn't been invited. Ichigo was about to say that that wasn't what he'd meant, but when he looked at Renji, he realized Renji knew.
Alright. They could downplay it. It was completely natural for Renji to invade Ichigo's childhood home, and be the first person who didn't already live in Karakura to do so. Yeah, it was normal for Renji to bond with his dad. They were both obnoxious, so it made perfect sense.
When it came down to it, the most important thing was that Yuzu was okay. And he’d shared the good news with someone, which Inoue would have said was healthy, so whatever.
He looked at Renji again, and downplaying went to hell when he saw that Renji's face simply fell, no traces of the laughter and kindness he'd seemed keen on showering Ichigo's family with. In their wake were creases between Renji's eyebrows, like he was contemplative or just sad.
It hit Ichigo, hard. Why Renji remembered his sisters' names, why he'd wondered about them to begin with, why it didn't seem weird for him to make friends with another person's family. Renji never had one.
Ichigo felt so fucking stupid. He knew he had to say something after that realization, to apologize or suggest something, but Renji beat him to it.
"You're all… very close." Renji turned his eyes from his lap to the disgustingly large portrait of Ichigo's mother on the wall. Ichigo immediately knew what the next question was going to be. "I mean, I get it if you don't wanna-"
"My mom died when I was nine," Ichigo said. He didn't stumble over his words or get choked up or anything-it hurt, it hurt every day, but twelve years had passed, and he'd talked the shit out of the subject both in awkward and brief conversations with his dad and with Tatsuki when they'd gotten drunk for the first time and things had just come out of him.
He wasn't sure what he expected Renji to do now, but he was endlessly grateful when Renji just nodded. No "sorry"s or weird "oh"s or the sad look girls had gotten in their eyes when Ichigo had been in his teens. Because Renji couldn't be sorry about her or about asking, and he wasn't surprised, and he knew there was no point in getting sad. He was perfect, in some messed-up sense. Ichigo couldn't help but want-
"Wanna watch BBC America?" Renji suddenly asked, looking up at him with a little smile.
No, I wanna kiss you. It took him a moment of simply staring at him, but finally Ichigo got a grip. He frowned. "Without any beer? How will we enjoy it?"
"We were gonna find out eventually," Renji said, shrugging. He then leaned back, lounging on Ichigo's couch, and flipping through channels in Ichigo's old TV. The moment had clearly passed because Ichigo really wanted to kick him.
Then Renji imitated The Doctor and nudged Ichigo to do Amy even though neither of them knew exactly what she was saying half the time, and it was Ichigo's worst nightmare. There they were, Renji invading every nook and cranny in Ichigo's life, being at his most annoying, and Ichigo realized that it hadn't been just a moment. He wanted, more than the extinction of the Daleks, more than Yuzu living in a bubble, even more than his project thingy being a success and Urahara forgetting every dirty secret he had on him, to kiss Renji.
He imitated Amy, and they both laughed even without the beer, and at some point they just fell asleep together on the couch (he later pretended he was the first to go under, because if Renji had fallen asleep before him it meant it had been a conscious decision to go to sleep at the same place and wake up with Renji's hair in his nose and a big hand on his stomach, which would just require too much explaining).
Good part of the morning? It meant the weirdest day in Ichigo's life was successfully left behind. Best part of the morning? Everyone woke up early enough (not that either of them shrieked when Renji woke up with Ichigo in his face) for them to leave without meeting Urahara. And Renji not meeting Urahara was probably the best part of Ichigo's life.
His dad told him Renji seemed like a good guy (something he would never relate to Renji), which was oddly nice of him, and Yuzu kissed him on the cheek and told him they would all miss him (which Karin denied soon afterward, but she smiled and gave him an affectionate pat on the shoulder).
He and Renji got in the car, and when 'House of Pain' blasted out of the stereo (seriously, was the car doing it?), Ichigo wondered if they got out in the same condition as when they'd gotten in.
NEXT
Part 5: You're In Awe Of How Selfless I Am
She told me to
Walk this way
Talk this way
A just gimme a kiss
Like this
(Walk This Way, Aerosmith)
"Ichigo, my roommate needs the car."
The fun thing about phone calls as opposed to text messaging, Renji discovered, was that he was able to actually hear Ichigo losing his shit when he realized the implication of Renji's breaking news. That being, Renji wouldn't be able to come to Ichigo's studio that day for their weekly meeting.
"I hate your roommate," Ichigo finally said, after a considerable amount of hissing and curse words.
"You're just saying that 'cause you're still wondering if we've ever hooked up." Ichigo might like to pretend he was being stealthy, but after asking twice, his interest hadn't exactly gone by Renji.
"Well, did you?" Ichigo asked quickly, like he couldn't stop himself.
Renji laughed. By then, the reason he didn't answer was the principle of the matter. "Look, I know we're friends now, but it's still none of your business."
Ichigo huffed. "I hate you."
Yeah right. "So what do you wanna do?"
Ichigo paused before asking cautiously, "About what?"
"Me not being able to come over, idiot."
"Oh, I'll just come over to your place."
What the fuck. "You're supposed to ask for permission before deciding stuff like that, y'know."
"Like you'll say no? I know you like me."
And that was the problem. Renji did.
Ichigo was an annoying brat, that part hadn't changed. What had changed was that he was fun to mess with, that he didn't bitch about stuff that might actually sting if he did, and that when Renji had barely been able to hold himself upright, his first instinct had been to go to Ichigo for help, and Ichigo had been nothing but trustworthy. What had changed was that Renji had gotten laid not too long ago, but instead of basking in it-because fuck it'd been a long time coming-his thoughts had kept coming back to what he and Ichigo might do the next day.
And he'd seen it, seen that tiny bit of hurt in Ichigo's eyes when he spotted Renji's hickey, but he'd ignored it because addressing whatever might have been going on between them would have been awkward, and neither of them did awkward well. Then the realization that there might really be something going on between them had made him panic and start to talk about the club, until Ichigo had shut him up. And the next thing out of his mouth had been that Ichigo wasn't the boss of him, because he'd maybe needed to prove that to both of them.
Instead of bitching and kicking him out and being a girl and making things awkward, Ichigo had drawn him with a pirate hat. So yeah, Ichigo was great and Renji liked him. Whatever, it wasn't like he could tell the jackass that. He was bigheaded enough as it was.
"Fuck you, I could be busy. I work three nights a week now," he said, instead of all of those things.
"Right. So which bus route should I take?"
Renji told him, a bit grudgingly, and then realized that Ichigo was coming over and went to put on some clothes. Of course, Ichigo texted him five minutes later, so Renji only had time to put on a pair of jeans and find a belt.
It turned out Ichigo hadn't arrived, he’d just gotten bored and thought Renji should entertain him. Renji rolled his eyes and gave up on finding a shirt, simply picking up his white jacket and throwing it on his bare torso.
He texted back that he thought Ichigo was the kind of guy who liked silence and being alone, therefore probably spending bus rides huddled up in himself and attached to an iPod. Ichigo only said that losing that was a fair price to pay for annoying Renji through texts. Renji called him an asshole, but didn't mention that he wasn't really annoyed.
He ended up sprawling on one of the long lawn chairs on the balcony and texting Ichigo for twenty minutes, which was stupid since Ichigo was on his way over, but Renji tried not to think about that.
He was a bit startled when the next time his phone vibrated it wasn't a text message, but a phone call.
"Let me in," Ichigo said. Renji cursed for a few seconds, because the weather was fantastic and his and Shuuhei's balcony was legendary in its comfortableness-two lawn chairs and a mini fridge (with beer) which Ikkaku had given them when they'd moved in, because Ikakku was epic. Plus the view was great from the tenth floor; you could even see the hills that characterized the outskirts of Seireitei.
Finally, he got up and buzzed Ichigo in, only to head back to the balcony without waiting for him. He was pretty sure Ichigo could manage letting himself into an apartment. Probably.
"Where are you?"
Even if Ichigo's peripheral vision sucked. Jeez, I'm only ten feet from the front door.
"I'm on the deck!" he yelled while sitting back down on the lawn chair.
"You know you're not really a pirate, right?" Ichigo asked from inside, for some reason sounding farer than nearer. Renji looked over his shoulder into the apartment and found that he couldn't even see Ichigo.
"The balcony, dumbass. Follow my voice or something."
Ichigo poked his head into the hallway where Renji could see him again, frowning and beginning to bitch, "That doesn't really work if-" but then he finally turned his head in the right direction and for once, shut up.
Renji went back to staring over the railing, feeling oddly pensive. He heard Ichigo pad across the hallway and onto the balcony. "You know I've never been here, you can't expect me to guess where you might be. Plus, it's-"
He stopped talking suddenly, and Renji turned his head toward him, raising an eyebrow in question. Ichigo was holding a big bag in front of him and seemed frozen for some reason. Then Renji looked up and found Ichigo's eyes glued to him.
He should have gotten used to it by then. Ichigo always gave him once-overs when they met up, especially when it was the weekly session, but this time felt different. Because it was the first real session since he'd crashed at Ichigo's place. Because it was in his home. Because Ichigo was still staring, and because Renji didn't mind in the least.
He forced himself to roll his eyes. "Is it the hair again?"
Ichigo snapped out of it, and looked Renji in the eye. Whatever had been on his face before was gone and he just looked mildly irritated, but he always looked mildly irritated so it was comforting.
"No, Renji, it was the realization that you're stupid. Are you sunbathing?"
Renji knew Ichigo was lying, but he was willing to go with it. Though it was a bit confusing, until he realized what Ichigo was referring to. "No. Since you kept badgering me on the way here I didn't have time to put on a shirt."
And his jacket was unzipped, which he guessed would explain the staring. It wasn't like he worked out to get attention, he was required to stay fit and sharp, but he got attention nonetheless.
"And the hair?" Ichigo asked, completing the process of lifting his bag and then sifting through it for something.
Renji smirked. "That part's just for you." He didn't really have another reason for keeping it down, to be honest.
It took a moment, during which Renji feared Ichigo might have taken him seriously, but then Ichigo snorted and looked up at him like he couldn't take him seriously even if he tried. "You know, one of these days you're gonna realize you're not as awesome as you think you are."
Renji laughed, and turned in his lawn chair so he was facing Ichigo. To make a point. "I'm not the one filling a portfolio with pictures of you, now am I?"
Ichigo's face fell in a second, and he was scowling when he told Renji to fuck off, before looking over the railing.
Renji couldn't help it; he nudged Ichigo with his foot in a weirdly apologetic way. "You adore me," he added, because it was true, and since when did he have to apologize for that?
Ichigo huffed, but he was looking back at him and his lips were curled in a mean smile. "I do not, you ass."
Right, and I'm the moron. He wanted to make another point about Ichigo being a dumbass-how could he even sunbathe when the sun was setting?-but then Ichigo suddenly glared at him.
"If you expect me to put my equipment on top of a mini fridge, you are dead wrong," he said sharply.
Okay, Renji hadn't thought of that. As legendary as the balcony was, you couldn't really work on it. "What if I bring a table over?" he asked, trying to convey how much he didn't want to sit inside.
He stayed in his bedroom when he was depressed and in the living room when he was bored, and right then he was neither because Ichigo was there, so he didn't want to risk the place itself forcing a certain mood on him. On the balcony he wasn't confined to anything.
The message must have gone through, because Ichigo just gritted his teeth and said, "Fine. It's your house, do what you want." And Renji knew it must have hurt to say that, so he appreciated it a little more.
He got to his feet and walked into the apartment, scanning the living room for-there, a small, low table which looked more like a stool than anything. It should support Ichigo's camera. Unless that bag was like the desk-bigger than it seemed-and Ichigo was going to pull a studio out of it.
He lifted it and started turning back to the balcony when the phone rang. Renji grunted and detoured, hoping Ichigo wouldn't mind.
"What's up?" Shuuhei asked as soon as Renji picked up.
Knowing Shuuhei, that question was far from casual. "You don't have to keep calling to check in on me, you know."
"Yeah, remember last month? Since you got your ass kicked the last time I let you out without supervision, I think it's understandable."
And really, Shuuhei was the only person in Renji's life who got to say that without getting punched. Renji would have pinched the bridge of his nose if his other hand hadn't been full of table. "I'm not exactly without supervision."
"Oh, shit, I'm sorry. Is it the one you got busy with when we went out?" Which was a rather flattering assumption.
"No," he reassured regretfully. "It's just Ichigo."
"Are you two sleeping together yet?"
Oh, come on.
Renji turned his back to the balcony when he spoke, because saying "No way man, why would you think that?" to Ichigo's face would have felt more like a lie than Renji was willing to admit right then.
"Right, of course, just epic bromance."
Renji was so surprised by the casual speech that he said the first thing that came to mind, "Yeah man, like you and me."
The heavy silence that came after that was like a fist. To the balls. Spelling out 'you are an idiot'.
"Are you sure you thought that comparison through?" Shuuhei finally asked, making Renji shut his eyes and curse himself.
"I hate you."
Shuuhei chuckled. "Take care, Renji. And when you do sleep together, keep it in your room."
Renji hung up, denied the existence of that conversation, and finally turned back to the balcony. He put the table down silently and was about to announce his presence, but when he looked up at Ichigo his brain was wiped out momentarily.
Ichigo was leaning on the railing with his elbows, one hand on the rusty metal and the other on the back of his neck. The sunset had progressed during Renji's little trip inside, and right then the sky was almost orange and getting darker, like it was dimming at the edges of Renji's eyes.
Ichigo just stood in the middle of the sunset like he was the one responsible for the phenomenon, the sun behind his form burning bright and making his hair even more unbelievable flashy. He knew Ichigo must have been slouching forward to lean on the railing, but it always seemed to Renji like he was standing tall, his back muscles standing out in the natural light.
It was his face that caught Renji's attention, though. It was the most real Renji had ever seen him. He wondered for the first time if, after spending so much of his time running around remarkable things to draw or photograph, anyone had ever told Ichigo he wasn't so bad himself.
He suppressed the urge to put his hand on Ichigo's shoulder and find out if he was okay, and instead kicked the table so it scratched the floor loudly. Just like that, Ichigo assumed his frown and turned to look at Renji, who only then realized he'd better get a hold of his own expression if he didn't want to let anything on.
Ichigo looked at the table and hummed approvingly, putting his bag on it and pulling out his camera. He busied himself with clicking the things Renji had never gotten around to ask about, and Renji used that time to shake his head and sit down on the lawn chair closer to the railing.
"Right, I wanna take pictures quickly to make use of the sunset, because different lighting always makes things better and I don't even need to explain how your red hair would work here."
Of course not. Renji laughed, wondering how Ichigo didn't think it was a weird thing to say.
Then Ichigo glared at him like Renji wasn't being serious enough for his liking, and stepped as far from him as he could. He ended up leaning against the opposite railing, and idly secured the camera strap around his neck. Renji wondered if Ichigo would jump over the railing after the camera if it were to fall. Renji'd probably have enough time to catch his legs, though. Yeah, it would be heroic.
He noticed the click of the shutter button before he noticed Ichigo had even raised his camera, and abruptly stood up. "Wait a sec, where do you want me?"
Ichigo gave the mother of all exasperated groans. "Stand by the railing so I can catch your profile, and look up."
Not arguing, even though Ichigo's tone was really pushing it, Renji leaned with his hands on the railing and tried to find interesting clouds or skyscrapers from the industrial part of Seireitei while Ichigo clicked away.
A sudden breeze took him by surprise a few minutes later, and he hurriedly pulled the hood of his jacket up so his hair wouldn't get in his face. After a second thought he zipped his jacket up a few inches, slightly annoyed that his perfect weather was ruined, probably because of Ichigo.
Oh, Ichigo. He turned his head to look at him and ask if what he'd done was okay, but the second he did, a series of clicks welcomed him. He tried to stay perfectly still and yet convey that he was growing more and more annoyed (though his left eye was concealed by the hood, so the glaring wasn't really working).
After a minute Ichigo lowered the camera from his face, and didn't spare Renji even a glance before clicking on it and then staring at the display screen intently. And if Ichigo wasn't even going to look at him, well, then fuck it.
He stepped back from the railing and walked over to Ichigo, trying to peek at the display screen. Ichigo held it closer to him like it was his baby, but other than that he didn't show he was annoyed with Renji. Which was new, and probably meant the pictures were good.
He was surprised when Ichigo vocalized that thought. "That one turned out great."
Renji's interest was piqued. Ichigo had never told him right away whether he was pleased or not, usually he had to find that out when Ichigo sent him stupid text messages at the crack of dawn.
"Really?" he asked, trying to sound surprised and not excited. "You gonna use it in your project thingy?"
Ichigo nodded, making Renji even more interested. He wanted to look, but had a feeling that if he touched the camera one of them was going to end up over the railing. "What will you call it?" he asked instead.
Ichigo shrugged. "I don't know. Fire?"
Renji glanced at the sky. It was mostly red now. "I like that."
Ichigo finally looked up at him, smirking. "It's cute that you think your opinion matters."
And the moment was gone. Renji glared at him, hard, and crossed his arms. "Shut the fuck up, it so matters."
Ichigo chuckled, but not in a 'you're so silly to even think that' way, but in a 'yeah, it does' way. Renji realized he was smiling, and immediately turned around and entered the hallway. It was getting colder anyway.
"You know, Shuuhei will be gone till morning," he yelled in the balcony's general direction, and suddenly realized how much it sounded like a come-on, and it wasn't, and he was pretty ready to kick himself.
"So?" Ichigo yelled back. Renji was immeasurably grateful Ichigo hadn't taken the bait.
He finally went through with his original line of thought. "Wanna watch some British soap opera?"
"Is that how they named all of them?"
If things had ever stopped being normal, they were getting there again. Only Renji definitely needed to put on a shirt.
*
Since the night Ichigo had visited Renji's apartment there had been a few uneventful weeks. He’d had a few exams, met Urahara twice (apparently Urahara had gotten banned from some gambling group for reasons Ichigo wasn't allowed to hear, so according to him he had nothing better to do than bug teenagers about their inadequate portfolios), met Renji pretty much all the time, and even got Professor Zangetsu to look at his project idea.
It had all been so normal and productive that Ichigo ended up almost waiting for the other shoe to drop. Almost, because even though he knew something was about to go wrong, he was still startled when he got a phone call from his dad.
Sure, it was always startling when the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song started bellowing at him (in Renji's presence, no less, because Ichigo's life was just that sweet), but after things going well for a while-not that he counted things getting better between him and Renji a victory-Ichigo almost dropped all his pens when he raced to the phone.
The whole independence thing had never really extended to his family. It was harder than he'd like to admit not to see his sisters every day, even after living in Seireitei for more than a year. He wouldn't call their family codependent or anything, but after his mom had died things had… changed.
He didn't think the twins realized how much he cared for them-while they'd grown closer to each other, he'd had to distance himself and step up to do all the honorable big brother stuff-but he really did, and despite the barriers of emotional crap between all of them, he could never have done what Ishida had done: leaving everyone behind and going to university abroad.
He tried to visit Karakura every other week, to see for himself that everyone was okay and the house didn't break down, and also because he couldn't stand the thought that the Karakura resident he currently saw most was Urahara. Not cool.
Then there was the fact his sisters had turned eighteen and Karin had left home and, okay, he'd maybe never really sat them down for talks or tried to teach them things, but if the law wasn't stopping them from having sex with people anymore, it fell on him.
Getting a call from his dad was less usual than from Yuzu and Karin combined (his dad was all about releasing Ichigo into the wild to make a man out of him), so just him calling spelled trouble. Then Ichigo answered. And his dad said that Yuzu had gone to get a saline solution from a high cabinet, and she'd fallen off the ladder she'd been using. And Ichigo was only able to yell, "She what?!" because seriously what the fuck.
The answer was that she'd landed on her back and twisted her ankle when she'd tried to break the fall, but by the time dad called she was totally fine and the only reason he let Ichigo know was that he knew Ichigo would have kicked his ass if he hadn't. Which wasn't an answer at all, and Ichigo was still going to kick his ass.
He continued exchanging insults with his dad, but it was half-assed because shit, shit, shit, Yuzu. He knew stuff like that happened, and if his dad said she was fine he was telling the truth, but none of that mattered because Yuzu got hurt.
Ichigo didn't shut down or swear to avenge, he just became so angry he punched a wall and yelled at his dad for five more minutes. People should know better than to fall off shit while he was away. How was he supposed to handle this news? He felt like apologizing to her, and maybe carrying her around for a bit, but he knew Yuzu would have none of either.
He hung up, and was about to punch something again when a strong hand settled on his arm, and he suddenly remembered he'd been in the middle of sketching Renji when his dad had called, and crap. Whatever stability they might have gotten going in their five-month friendship, they were not ready for Renji to witness Ichigo freaking out about his sisters.
"What's wrong?" Renji asked, his voice low and serious, and Ichigo didn't remember permitting Renji to sit closer to him. At that moment, he couldn't care less.
The longer he stayed in one place the more likely it was for him to start panicking (shit, shit, shit, Yuzu), so he shrugged Renji's hand off and stood up determinedly. "It's my sister. I gotta head up to Karakura."
Renji stood up as well, and he wasn't any farther away standing than he was sitting. It was really starting to mess with Ichigo's head, and it just wasn't the time.
"You're gonna take the bus like that?" Renji asked, sounding unimpressed. "You look like you're about to kill someone."
Ichigo hissed, and started walking to the dresser to pick up his stuff. It wasn't until that moment that he noticed how stiff he'd become, how his fists were still clenched tight. But he figured that if there was a good time to flip out and be unreasonable, it was after your sister got hurt while you were in another city. So he snapped, "I can fucking manage, Renji."
"Fuck you," Renji said, and Ichigo thought that was it and Renji would walk out and Ichigo could focus and make sense out of this mess and deal with the consequences later, but then Renji said, "I'll drive you," and if Ichigo felt relieved, well, that was stupid.
He strode back to the couch to pick up a jacket, avoiding Renji at all costs. "Don't be an idiot, I don't need your help."
"Yeah, but the people you'll-seriously, stop." Renji grabbed him by the shoulder, forcing him to stop walking and look at him. His dark eyes were void of the meanness usually directed at Ichigo, and it threw him off. "It's no problem. It's your family."
And he meant it, and fuck. Right then Ichigo just felt like a shitty brother and he'd failed Yuzu and Renji wasn't supposed to be nice to him all of a sudden, or to feel sorry for him. No way. "Yeah, mine. I can't ask you-I'm supposed to take care of this shit."
Renji still didn't let go of his shoulder or seem convinced in any way, and Ichigo had to look elsewhere or the next thing out of his mouth would be, Renji, my baby sister got hurt, what am I supposed to do?
He heard Renji groan. "For fuck's sake, I wanna help. Shut up and come on."
Even under the stress and not-panic, Ichigo felt a familiar pang at being told what to do, because screw Renji, he could do it himself. "It's a forty minute drive, I'd rather-"
Instead of telling him to shut up again, Renji just tightened his grip on Ichigo's shoulder and, rather than being reassuring, he started steering him toward the door. Ichigo tried to shake it off again, but shit, he really was stiff as a board. The realization that he couldn't fight Renji made another realization surface-he really didn't want to.
He never actually voiced his surrender (he didn't think he was physically capable of that), but he let Renji guide him to the door without further struggle. Renji apparently noticed and loosened his hold, but he didn't release Ichigo's shoulder, and Ichigo was fine with that for the time being.
Renji owned a nice Honda Accord, and the second they settled in and Renji turned the key in the ignition, the stereo blasted Aerosmith, and Ichigo was so blindsided he found himself actually chuckling while cursing Renji. Renji didn't even turn the volume down, he just switched to a different, quieter song. It was another Aerosmith song, which meant it was a CD, which meant it was going to be one fun ride.
"Crazy fuck, who listens to music at that volume?" Ichigo asked, avoiding the urge to clean the ringing out of his ears with a finger.
Renji didn't peek or glance in his direction; he full on turned his head in Ichigo's direction while driving in reverse. The fearing for his life was rudely interrupted by the way Renji was smiling at him. "You're talkin' to me again?"
Ichigo rolled his eyes and looked out the window. "I'm still against this idea." It came out harsher than he'd meant, but considering that yelling and bitching at him hadn't deterred Renji, Ichigo doubted this would. He doubted Renji even expected him to be civil right then.
He was pulled out of his thoughts by Renji knocking their shoulders together. "I'm only doing this to meet your sugar daddy."
And Ichigo chuckled. Again. He knew Renji shouldn't be making him feel better, but for just one moment he let himself feel grateful to have Renji as a friend. The moment abruptly ended when he processed what Renji had said and oh, fuck, Renji's coming to Karakura Town.
"I gotta call my dad and tell him we're coming. Also, over my dead body will you meet Urahara."
He was surprised that when he called home Karin picked up the phone, and even more when all she said was "And?" when he told her he was on his way over.
"Goatface already told me you were coming. Are you on a bus?"
Of course dad assumed I was coming after our conversation. Ichigo cleared his throat. "No, a friend's driving me." To avoid any questions, he quickly added, "How's Yuzu doing?"
"I think she's secretly excited to have a Kurosaki reunion. She joked about falling more often."
He snorted. "I'll kill her if she does."
"Yeah, I told her you would. Wanna talk to her?"
Ichigo… couldn't really trust himself in those moments. He needed to see her first. "Nah, just tell her I'll be there soon."
"And that you're bringing a friend."
Ichigo pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to think of a scenario in which Renji met his dad and it didn't end badly. He couldn't. "Yeah, you can tell her that too. How'd you get there so fast, anyway?"
"I got on a bus as soon as dad texted me. Could you believe it? Fucking texted me."
Ichigo cringed. "Don't curse." Of course, that made Renji laugh at him, and he covered his phone to hiss, "Shut the fuck up, Renji."
"Right," He heard Karin say when he held the phone to his ear again. "Anyway, when I got here Yuzu made a fuss about causing me trouble, but I know she was happy to see me, so…"
There was no need to continue. "I know. See you soon, Karin."
She hung up first, and Ichigo dropped the phone to his lap and ran his hand over his face.
"Was she the other sister?" Renji asked. Ichigo suddenly noticed the music had been turned off. The silence didn't feel right between them, but asking for Renji's music felt even more wrong.
"Yeah," he said, leaning back and trying to get comfortable. He'd never found use for a car-each year he'd either lived too far or too close to campus to really need one-and every time he did end up in one felt uncomfortable at the beginning.
"So something happened to… Yuzu?" It didn't sound like Renji was guessing, more like he was being cautious around Ichigo. He thought it was important that Renji remembered something like his sisters' names, but he couldn't figure out why.
He studied him when he answered, "Yeah. She twisted her ankle."
He was surprised when Renji's features relaxed, like he'd been genuinely worried something life-threatening had happened. Renji immediately grinned and turned the music back on, the volume startling Ichigo all over again.
If Renji was going to sing 'Walk This Way', Ichigo was out.
"You're gonna have to give me directions once we're out of Seireitei, y'know," Renji said loudly, which made Ichigo straighten up and stare out the windshield vigilantly.
"Remember the intersection?" he asked, trying not to smirk when Renji, expectedly, scowled and started cursing. He still got lost every now and then, it was hilarious to Ichigo. "This time, like many, many other times, turn left instead of right."
He saw Renji grip the steering wheel angrily with both hands. "You mean all those times if I hadn't called you when something felt wrong I would have ended up in your hometown?"
He wanted to ask, you mean when you saw signs of places you didn't recognize, not when something felt wrong, right? But he didn't really want to know. "Basically," he answered, because once you got out of Seireitei, Karakura Town was pretty much straight ahead of you.
"Great. I bet everything closes when it gets dark. And everybody knows everybody. And all the teenagers are nerds like you, except for those who become government agents and ninjas."
Ichigo smacked Renji's arm, because driver or not, he deserved it. "It's not a village, Jesus." And then, for good measure, added, "And I'm not a nerd."
Renji laughed disbelievingly. "You're an awkward batshit art guy who never goes to college parties. Or gets laid."
What the fuck. Ichigo put his feet on the seat defiantly, hoping to get it dirty and for his knee to hit Renji's eye if they got into an accident. "I'm not awkward. And just because I don't go to parties doesn't mean I don't get laid."
So after the hickey incident Ichigo may have hooked up with a mouthy art major he'd found sculpting in a nearby studio on campus, because the studio had been otherwise empty and the guy was hot and sculpted shirtless and the thought that it was somehow related to Renji hadn't even crossed his mind. Well, even if it had in the beginning, the second the guy had lifted him, shoved his back against a hunk of metal and got rid of both their pants and underwear before wrapping Ichigo's legs around his waist, he had pretty much stopped thinking.
"You mean this is what you're like after getting laid?" Renji asked, sounding shocked.
Ichigo smacked him again. "Will I have to listen to your bullshit for the next forty minutes?"
"Got your mind off things, didn't I?" Renji said with a good-natured grin, looking at him again.
Guess you did. Thank you. "Look at the road," he ended up saying.
Renji barked a laugh. "You are so grateful. You're in awe of how selfless I am. You appreciate me. You-"
"Oh god, shut up already!" Ichigo yelled, turning the volume up. Right when 'Dream On' hit its highest note. Ichigo hated his life.
Renji stopped taunting him (though it was possible Ichigo getting deafened helped with that), but five minutes later, Ichigo was so cranky that Renji's drumming on the steering wheel was incredibly annoying even on its own.
"Wanna listen to something else?" Renji asked suddenly.
Ichigo glanced at him a bit suspiciously. Both because for him to detect Ichigo's crankiness he must not have been looking at the road and would probably kill them both, and also because he was being nice again.
Of course, that was when 'I Don't Want to Miss a Thing' started, and Ichigo was almost obligated to say "Yes, fuck."
He was instructed to open the glove compartment, and a second after he did that he nearly jumped out of his skin because Renji yelled, "Ha! Now get me a candy bar from there!"
The only thing Ichigo could say was "Dude, heart attack", and he punched Renji's shoulder again because dude, heart attack. So that was the reason for being nice. Ichigo wasn't sure how healthy it was to eat candy bars from glove compartments while driving, but right then he kind of hoped for Renji to choke, so he pulled out a Mars bar and threw it at Renji's lap.
It turned out Renji hadn't completely tricked him; there were CDs in the glove compartment, more as he dug deeper into it. He had to laugh, though. More Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC.
"Wha's so funny?" Renji asked. He sounded like the entire candy bar was in his mouth, which Ichigo wouldn't exactly mind seeing, but he was busier with the glove compartment.
Ted Nuget, Kiss, Deep Purple. "Cock rock, Renji, really?"
"Shuuhei an' I collect," Renji said, sounding far too smug for a person getting mocked.
Ichigo searched deeper into the compartment, hoping to find something more incriminating. Bon Jovi, Van Halen, a condom wrapper-wait, the fuck?
"Why is there an empty condom wrapper in your car?" he asked, frowning.
His breath was suddenly knocked out of him because, Jesus fuck, either his question had made Renji swerve the fucking car or he'd made a sharp turn and Ichigo had been too absorbed in his finds to brace himself. Either way, Ichigo's shoulder bumped hard into the window and, pretty convinced he was going to crash, he grabbed the first thing he could.
Of course, he hadn't realized what that was until the car was in the right lane and he was alive and just felt a bit stupid. He was clutching Renji's thigh.
"Shuuhei keeps 'em there. I'm more of a classy guy, y'know?"
And Renji didn't seem to care. Like Ichigo hadn't been stressed enough, now he had to think about touching Renji's thigh with one hand and an empty condom wrapper with the other and his baggy jeans were not baggy enough if Ichigo could feel Renji's muscles and-
Renji started singing 'Walk This Way'. Ichigo hated his life.
He snatched back his hand and vowed to stay completely quiet and still for the rest of the drive-fifteen minutes. That vow lasted about five of those, because Renji poked him and asked, "What's wrong, stupid?"
When they finally entered Karakura Town, the familiar, warm feeling of nostalgia and home didn't come to him, instead replaced by urgency, which intensified when Renji parked in front of his house and they got out of the car.
As… special as it had been to drive with Renji, now that he was there all he could think about was Yuzu. Six years old, falling, getting dirty, crying. Ten years old, falling, smiling at everyone so as not to bother them, and putting a Band-Aid on herself. Eighteen years old, falling off a ladder while Ichigo was just hanging out, being strapped to a bed because her back was-
"Ichi!" she yelled, running toward him from the clinic, and oh, thank fuck. So his dad really hadn't been lying when he'd said she was fine. Ichigo would have made the trip ten times over to make absolutely sure, though.
They hugged a bit awkwardly (Karin had decided she was too cool to hug him when she’d turned fifteen, but Yuzu kept doing it each time he visited, even when she was eighteen and he was twenty one and still four heads taller than her), and there was his nostalgia and feeling of home. Just that moment made everything better.
"You'd better duck," Yuzu suddenly said and slipped away from his arms, and Ichigo barely had time to groan and turn around before he had to block a kick from his father and jump back to avoid a punch.
Isshin Kurosaki had turned fifty last summer, his beard was getting grayer and he needed larger clothes each Christmas, but he still tried to kick Ichigo's ass every time he saw him, because Isshin Kurosaki was amazing like that.
At least each time he gave up sooner than the last. The speech remained, though. "Oh, Ichigo, you have grown so big and strong, clearly following in your daddy's footsteps. Not a day goes by without the feeling of pride swelling in my chest when I think about my strapping young son-" He dodged Ichigo's punch, which was pretty impressive because after repeating the speech in front of Renji, Ichigo really, really meant to hit him hard.
So that's two taken care of. Ichigo looked over his dad's shoulder to the lit front porch just behind him (it must have gotten dark after Renji had tried to kill them the second time and before they'd agreed on Deep Purple), and found Karin standing there, smiling at him with her arms crossed.
"Hello," Yuzu suddenly chirped. Ichigo looked down at her with a raised eyebrow, and noticed she hadn't spoken to him.
Oh great, here we go. He heard some movement behind him, and then felt Renji step up right next to him. It was kind of funny to see Yuzu have to turn her head up to keep her eyes on Renji.
Yuzu looking at Renji.
Fuck, that was just surreal.
Renji waved at her, which Ichigo figured was way better than a handshake. He secretly thought Renji must have gained some cool points from Karin, if she was still keeping count.
"Hello. I'm Abarai."
Ichigo rolled his eyes and knocked shoulders with Renji, because honestly, he didn't deserve any cool points. "You sound like a gangbanger," he muttered, and then said to everyone, "He's Renji."
Yuzu's smile didn't waver during the exchange, because Yuzu Kurosaki was kind of amazing too. "It's nice to meet you," she said politely.
Ichigo looked up and found Renji was smiling at her. Usually that would earn him a kick to the groin, but right then Ichigo was… glad, for some reason.
"Yeah, you too," Renji said easily. "I'm sorry you got hurt."
Yuzu quickly waved her hand in dismissal and looked away embarrassedly, and for that Renji was definitely getting punched later.
"I'm just sorry I worried Ichigo so much," she said.
"That's 'cause he's an idiot," Renji muttered under his breath.
Ichigo shoved him again, leaning a bit closer to whisper, "You're the one who insisted on coming with me."
"Yeah, 'cause you're an idiot," Renji replied none too quietly and nudged Ichigo's shoulder.
Karin cleared her throat farther from them, and Ichigo could have killed Renji. Yuzu kept her smile on, but when she glanced between him and Renji, she seemed a bit mischievous. "How long have you been together?"
Yes. Kill Renji. Ichigo nearly spluttered. "We're not. Together, I mean."
"Like hell," was the only thing Renji had to say, and Ichigo was so grateful he didn't even think whether he should be hurt or not.
Yuzu looked down and said, "Oh, I'm sorry," but she didn't sound convinced.
"We're friends, really." Ichigo slapped Renji's shoulder a bit too hard to be affectionate and friendly, because he was neither and damn it, he really hated this trip. "He drove me here."
Yuzu's head immediately snapped up, and Ichigo got what Karin had meant when she'd said that Yuzu was secretly excited. His suspicion was verified when she said, "Well then, you must stay for the night!"
A collective "Huh?" was heard, but Ichigo liked to think his was the most annoyed. Covertly, of course, because nobody wanted to hurt Yuzu's feelings, but what the fuck. Renji could not stay for the night. It was a disaster waiting to happen, it was Renji in Ichigo's home with Ichigo's family, it was wrong and it was not happening.
"I can't let you drive back at this hour. I'll make you tea. I will make us all tea."
And just like that, Renji was staying for the night. For all her sweet smiles and kind eyes, Yuzu was really fucking terrifying when she wanted to be.
"Excellent idea, dear!" his dad, who had been suspiciously quiet about the whole thing until then, chimed in.
Renji apparently got the same vibe as Ichigo, and neither argued when Renji was ushered into the house. He doubted Renji minded as much as he did, after all, there were free beverages involved, but it must have been weird.
It got even weirder for Ichigo sooner rather than later. Yuzu did make tea, even though everyone told her to stay off her feet and they all preferred coffee anyway (Renji muttered beer, and Ichigo kicked him).
Once they were all in the living room, Renji practically grabbed the chair next to the one Ichigo sat on. Ichigo didn't blame him, not with three perfect strangers studying his every move. That Ichigo was the safe choice was laughable, though.
If Ichigo had originally thought it would be okay to bring Renji along because the focus of this visit was going to be on Yuzu anyway, it finally dawned on him how wrong he'd been. His dad was the least obvious about the interest in Renji, and Karin had to interrupt his bad joke when she asked "So how'd you two meet?" over the rim of her cup.
Surprisingly, Renji started answering easily, "He asked me to sit on-"
"He was at the exhibition Urahara got me into," Ichigo cut him off, because fucking hell, it was like Renji was trying to torture him on purpose.
Renji grumbled next to him, and whispered, "It's annoying when you do that."
"You're annoying."
"Fu-"
"Don't curse," Ichigo hissed, because if there was one thing he could control in this surreal situation, it was that no one would curse in front of his sisters. He thought he heard Renji grind his teeth.
"Speaking of Urahara," Yuzu said quickly, "When he heard you were visiting he said he'd drop by tomorrow."
Renji made an honest-to-god excited little sound, and when Ichigo looked at him wide-eyed, Renji didn't look the least bit repentant. He was smirking widely and looking a bit giddy. "Looks like-"
"Oh shut up, Renji." He forgot to whisper that. Shit.
Rescue came from his dad, of all people, who said, "What a wonderful display of friendship! Now I'll finish my joke!" and he did, and Renji laughed, and his dad high-fived Renji, and it might have been the weirdest moment in Ichigo's life.
Tea/reunion stories ended later than usual, to Ichigo's horror (every fucking time he glanced at Renji, the guy looked like he was having the time of his life), and they all watched a little TV.
Yuzu fell asleep first, as usual, leaning on Karin's shoulder while Karin read some football magazine. Ichigo looked Yuzu over. She didn't seem troubled by any physical pain, even though she'd fallen from a stupid ladder just a few hours ago. If anything, she looked… happy, and when Ichigo looked at Karin's face she was doing a good job at pretending she was annoyed that Yuzu had fallen asleep on her, but not good enough. He wondered if Karin visited more often than he.
Of course, during his little examination he hadn't noticed a conversation had sparked between Renji and his dad, and oh god, Renji was telling his dad a dirty joke. Ichigo immediately decided it was time for all of them to go to bed.
That led to his dad explaining to Renji where Ichigo's old room was, because of course he was sleeping there. Renji thanked him without even looking at Ichigo, and they both watched Karin help Yuzu up the stairs to their old shared bedroom. His dad went up next, and suddenly it was just the two of them and silence in Ichigo's old living room.
"This is weird," Ichigo finally admitted aloud, leaving his chair in favor of the much comfier couch.
"I know. I mean, tea," Renji said, following Ichigo even though he hadn't been invited. Ichigo was about to say that that wasn't what he'd meant, but when he looked at Renji, he realized Renji knew.
Alright. They could downplay it. It was completely natural for Renji to invade Ichigo's childhood home, and be the first person who didn't already live in Karakura to do so. Yeah, it was normal for Renji to bond with his dad. They were both obnoxious, so it made perfect sense.
When it came down to it, the most important thing was that Yuzu was okay. And he’d shared the good news with someone, which Inoue would have said was healthy, so whatever.
He looked at Renji again, and downplaying went to hell when he saw that Renji's face simply fell, no traces of the laughter and kindness he'd seemed keen on showering Ichigo's family with. In their wake were creases between Renji's eyebrows, like he was contemplative or just sad.
It hit Ichigo, hard. Why Renji remembered his sisters' names, why he'd wondered about them to begin with, why it didn't seem weird for him to make friends with another person's family. Renji never had one.
Ichigo felt so fucking stupid. He knew he had to say something after that realization, to apologize or suggest something, but Renji beat him to it.
"You're all… very close." Renji turned his eyes from his lap to the disgustingly large portrait of Ichigo's mother on the wall. Ichigo immediately knew what the next question was going to be. "I mean, I get it if you don't wanna-"
"My mom died when I was nine," Ichigo said. He didn't stumble over his words or get choked up or anything-it hurt, it hurt every day, but twelve years had passed, and he'd talked the shit out of the subject both in awkward and brief conversations with his dad and with Tatsuki when they'd gotten drunk for the first time and things had just come out of him.
He wasn't sure what he expected Renji to do now, but he was endlessly grateful when Renji just nodded. No "sorry"s or weird "oh"s or the sad look girls had gotten in their eyes when Ichigo had been in his teens. Because Renji couldn't be sorry about her or about asking, and he wasn't surprised, and he knew there was no point in getting sad. He was perfect, in some messed-up sense. Ichigo couldn't help but want-
"Wanna watch BBC America?" Renji suddenly asked, looking up at him with a little smile.
No, I wanna kiss you. It took him a moment of simply staring at him, but finally Ichigo got a grip. He frowned. "Without any beer? How will we enjoy it?"
"We were gonna find out eventually," Renji said, shrugging. He then leaned back, lounging on Ichigo's couch, and flipping through channels in Ichigo's old TV. The moment had clearly passed because Ichigo really wanted to kick him.
Then Renji imitated The Doctor and nudged Ichigo to do Amy even though neither of them knew exactly what she was saying half the time, and it was Ichigo's worst nightmare. There they were, Renji invading every nook and cranny in Ichigo's life, being at his most annoying, and Ichigo realized that it hadn't been just a moment. He wanted, more than the extinction of the Daleks, more than Yuzu living in a bubble, even more than his project thingy being a success and Urahara forgetting every dirty secret he had on him, to kiss Renji.
He imitated Amy, and they both laughed even without the beer, and at some point they just fell asleep together on the couch (he later pretended he was the first to go under, because if Renji had fallen asleep before him it meant it had been a conscious decision to go to sleep at the same place and wake up with Renji's hair in his nose and a big hand on his stomach, which would just require too much explaining).
Good part of the morning? It meant the weirdest day in Ichigo's life was successfully left behind. Best part of the morning? Everyone woke up early enough (not that either of them shrieked when Renji woke up with Ichigo in his face) for them to leave without meeting Urahara. And Renji not meeting Urahara was probably the best part of Ichigo's life.
His dad told him Renji seemed like a good guy (something he would never relate to Renji), which was oddly nice of him, and Yuzu kissed him on the cheek and told him they would all miss him (which Karin denied soon afterward, but she smiled and gave him an affectionate pat on the shoulder).
He and Renji got in the car, and when 'House of Pain' blasted out of the stereo (seriously, was the car doing it?), Ichigo wondered if they got out in the same condition as when they'd gotten in.
NEXT