Comments | spewswap: The Closed Door, for Amanda

aiseiri_47 in spewswap

The Closed Door, for Amanda

Jan 02, 2008 02:19

Title: The Closed Door
Setting: Historical
Genre: Romance
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Summary:
Prompt:
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." -- Helen KellerHenrietta Jacoby has everything she wants right at her fingertips. Before she can ( Read more... )

secret spew iii

Comments 2

(The comment has been removed)

water_jade January 3 2008, 08:14:40 UTC

Hee. I'm glad you liked it.

And I was really afraid I would start calling Faber Jacoby. I don't know why I did it, and I do apologise. However, in British English, Mr does not have a period. Neither, for that matter, do Ms and Dr.

I'm glad it was just what you wanted! I was hoping so. It's not my usual style, I don't think, which I didn't realise until I was halfway through. And yes, why not?

skipper424 January 3 2008, 20:42:08 UTC

This was such an enjoyable story. I’ve read it twice through now, and realized I think I completely missed what really happened the first time. You do a good job with your level of detail - there is just enough to get a good picture of the scene without slowing down the pace. It’s a challenge I face. Sometimes, I get off-track with the details and the story starts to get clunky and encumbered. No hint of that here … I really thought the pacing was good.

Your characterization was also quite nice and I really liked the main character, Henrietta. I love how there is this sense of doubt inside of her, realizing that this arranged marriage may provide her with a great number of thing - except for what her heart truly desires.

“Come off it, Faber. Just because you’re not stimulated doesn’t mean the happenings are not stimulating, you know.” I really liked your dialogue, but this is probably my favourite line. I just like it, that’s all ( ... )