The Affair of the Necklace

[spectralbovine]

So my grandmother, who art in India, consulted a psychic or priest or something, and he said that I have some sort of bad juju related to Thursdays that has been keeping me from finding a wife. He blessed a locket that was supposed to unblock my chi or something, and my grandmother mailed it to California, and my aunt provided a gold chain to turn

Comments

[birdsarecalling]

Wow. These shenanigans sound like something out of my own parents' passive-aggressive playbook. Even when you win those fights, you lose, because the whole thing is such a fucking drain. It's like they enjoy emotionally punishing you, because the fact that they can do it is proof that they're still important.

Good on you for holding out until they're ready to engage you without histrionics.

[spectralbovine]

Even when you win those fights, you lose, because the whole thing is such a fucking drain. It's like they enjoy emotionally punishing you, because the fact that they can do it is proof that they're still important.
I know! I hate that I'm even being affected at all.

[lareinenoire]

Yeesh. Oh, Indian mothers. Mine has thankfully mellowed over the past five or so years, but she used to be so clingy.

And you could have done so much worse, but she doesn't get that. Maybe she will sooner or later...?

[spectralbovine]

I thought of threatening to start drinking and doing drugs and quitting my job and anything else if she didn't shut the hell up.

[shamoogity]

I remember getting in this fight with my dad as a teenager where I got a B+ on a math test and he gave me a whole lecture about how A is for Average, B is for Bad. And then I just flipped out and said "You know, you really should be more grateful I'm not shooting crack into my feet!" Which, overreaction obviously, but really, don't Indian parents ever realize how much worse they could have it?

[ashfae]

Oh fucking christ. *so many hugs*

It's REALLY not you, and it REALLY is them.

[dotificus]

Go Sunil! I think starting the new year by standing up for yourself in this way is impressive. Although you probably don't feel impressive. I wish I had been well enough to set boundaries like this with my Scylla and Charybdis parents when I was your age.

It is absolutely them, not you. You are a kind, compassionate son.

[soundingsea]

Obviously a different situation, but I have a very controlling mother and the only way I was able to cope was by putting distance between us (not calling, not visiting) until she acknowledged that I was going to live my life the way I wanted.

I hope it doesn't come to that for you, but they do need to realize that you're an adult. They got to live their lives. You get to live yours. That's the way it goes.

Good luck.