Your Reject, All-American

[spectralbovine]

Since I wrote this post last year, I have gone through several potential future wives

Comments

[amberlynne]

I've only had a smidgen of that kind of pressure on me and it sucked a lot, so I can't even imagine what you are going through. I am lucky that my mother has gotten to the "I just don't want you to be alone" stage.

I want to tell you that you should just do what will make you happy, but that's kind of a ridiculous thing to say because following your heart doesn't necessarily go hand in hand with pleasing your family and it seems you will be miserable if you don't do that too.

I AM SO HELPFUL!

Basically, you are awesome and I am sorry you have to deal with additional pressure beyond the standard dating crap. *pets*

[spectralbovine]

Thank you. I appreciate it. It's always nice to be reminded of that.

[shamoogity]

I know this never feels very helpful, but Dan Savage always points out that if you are honest with someone and really put yourself out there and they are not interested, then you haven't lost anything. It never would have worked anyway, and this way you haven't wasted your time. But yeah, that advice has never really made me feel any better post-rejection.

Anyway, I'm of the opinion that the most interesting, unique people never have an easy time finding the right person. But would you really want to be the kind of boring person who clicks about the same amount with everyone they meet?

[rowanceleste]

I'm sorry! *hugs* You're absolutely right that you shouldn't have to change to find a wife, as the right person will love you as the imperfectly perfect person for them you are, just as you would love them. Not to mention, trying to change for someone else, rather than yourself never works out, so if you're happy with yourself, then that's the important thing and then you can look to find someone that is also happy with you and makes you happy. My impression is that you are happy/like yourself and to be honest, that's the hardest part, because how can you find someone who likes you, if you don't like or know yourself? You know and like who you are (whether or not it's 100% of the time is irrelevant) and you'll find the right person, if you stick to your guns

WHAT THIS PERSON SAID

[ariiadne]

I don't know who you are, but you said all the same things I would have said in a comment. I endorse this product and/or service!

Re: WHAT THIS PERSON SAID

[rowanceleste]

Hmm...too bad there's no financial kickback with comment endorsements! ;) My dog did say I rocked too, but I'm pretty sure he just wants to go for a walk.

[lembeau]

Oh fuck. See, this is one of those times I wish I lived next door to all of my friends and I could come over with ice cream or something and talk to you

[spectralbovine]

See, this is one of those times I wish I lived next door to all of my friends and I could come over with ice cream or something and talk to you.
I wish it too!

But honestly, you're an awesome and really decent guy, and it comes across. If they can't see it, it's not a reflection of you, but of them. Ok?
Thanks. For your whole comment. I wanted to quote it all and say thanks and EXACTLY but that would take a while.

[bspalek]

I am late, as always, but I just wanted to add my voice to the crowd and say that these girls aren't really rejecting you, because they don't know you. Not really. And of course you shouldn't change in order to impress a girl. The right one is going to like you just the way you are

[janieluk]

So... no pressure, then. There are times (e.g. when I read your post) when I'm glad that I don't have a whole raft of family requirements and expectations laid on top of the already difficult enough task of figuring out who I want to be with. I feel for you, even if I don't have any constructive advice beyond driving into the sunset while drinking whisky, whooping incoherently and firing a six-shooter wildly into the air. Which feels like a good solution to many things.