It's a hodgepodge kind of day.
Caprica is in the shop. My brand-new fucking car has a leaky power steering rack that needs to be replaced. And something about a faulty O-ring, which makes me glad my car hasn't exploded. What the fuck, Mazda. At least they gave me a rental car. I'm zipping around in a Jetta
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Comments 51
Anyone reading The Cow's comments here who agrees with me, say "aye!"
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Most people don't have a deadline for marriage! It seems unfair to string women along if I won't be able to commit. I am only good for one-night stands at this point. Which is all I've ever been good for, really.
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I get that it's stressful; it's stressful no matter what, and I think that the scary part is the thought of meeting someone that *you* might really like, and then being unable to pursue it. But even that might be worth it. And A DATE is just that - a date. Think of the word "date" - as in, a date on a calendar. One. One day. Not a lifetime. And you wouldn't believe how many women would find it refreshing to meet a guy who could say "I will be completely unavailable to you in no more than 8 months, so I promise NOTHING". Honesty? Living in the moment? That shit's hot, yo.
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Yes.
This whole thing is very confusing.
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Ahem. She got that from me. Also: this, which gives the other piece of writing a fight for the title of worst writing ever if not surpassing it entirely. Warning: no pictures, but Not At All Safe For Work.
Except I don't know how to make it.At the risk of getting preachy ... alright, let's just accept that there's no way to say this without being bossy and add the caveat that you're free to ignore me and/or tell me where to stuff it. You do know how to make your own fate; you don't want to deal the potential fallout. Let's start with the obvious - you don't want an arranged marriage. You've been clinging to the hope that you'll find someone on your own who also fits your parents' criteria, but this event has and always has had a vanishingly small possibility of occurring when you live in the States where there is not a ready pool of acceptable women. So now that you're coming to decision time, here are your choices: a) You tell your parents you ( ... )
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I know she did. But you didn't tell ME about it, so NYAH.
You do know how to make your own fate; you don't want to deal the potential fallout.
I do also need my spine replaced.
Two of my cousins had arranged marriages; both ended in divorce.
Yeah, all the stories I get are about the ones who marry girls they find and get a divorce within a year (in the latest one, the girl was cheating on him) and then have an arranged marriage.
Alrighty, stepping back out of your business. Just remember that you have a lot of friends who care about you, okay?
Thanks, I appreciate it.
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Pfft.
Yeah, all the stories I get are about the ones who marry girls they find and get a divorce within a year (in the latest one, the girl was cheating on him) and then have an arranged marriage.
Let's face it - there aren't any guarantees in either case no matter how many death do you parts you say. I think that a lot of it is affected by the attitude with which you enter a marriage. The more honest you are about what you want and what she wants, the higher the likelihood of the marriage has of succeeding. Which may be easier said than done. In your case, I feel as if I'm seeing a lot of the same justifications that my cousins went through.
Mainly, don't do anything you don't want to do. It sounds as if you're coming up on the statute of limitations regarding stalling, so you'll have to take more direct action.
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First, you don't strike me as being particularly Indian-traditional in most of your life & habits. Geek-traditional, nerd-traditional, maybe - but not Indian-traditional. Welcome to the great and long-standing tradition of lonely geekboys; as I approach forty and remain unmarried/un-girlfriended, it's a state I know well.
Second, I don't really know what sort of woman you like, but if I were going to guess it wouldn't be a traditional Indian girl - as opposed to TV-watching pop-culture-literate geeky girls, regardless of ethnic heritage. In my experience in dating and mating, such as it is, I find that I like women who have similar attitudes, experiences, and habits. YMMV, but IMO you really ought to "get mileage" in this area before committing to any woman.
I agree with gymble; you need to discover what sort of woman you want to spend your life with, and the best way I know to do that is through meeting and dating women, marriage deadlines be damned. I can only imagine what it ( ... )
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Which is why I think you ought to be dating. I mean, you want to find a girl to love and love you, don't you? So get out there on Indian dating websites (they have those, don't they?), or network, or do whatever. Start dating.
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There's a huge spectrum between casual dating and marrying someone you've emailed a few times. They've got to meet you somewhere in between.
If the big rush is grandchildren, you can point out that, as a male, your biological clock has way more time on it, and getting more established in your career (and being on more PANELS) could make you more appealing to Parents of Girls.
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