"Polarity," Miracles, NC-17

Feb 08, 2010 07:47

A Miracles Fanfic
by Laurel (Sailorhathor)

Rated: NC-17
Word Count: 4,961
Warnings: Contains a homosexual male pairing (Alva/Paul) with graphic sexual content. This story takes place in a "Miracles" universe in which Alva and Paul are not in any way related.
Summary: Sometimes, a laying on of hands is the only way to balance two poles. Paul's chakras become unbalanced by a case and Alva must help him fix this using a technique that requires him to lay his hands on Paul. All over Paul.
Dates: Written in November-December 2005
Author's Notes: Written for a friend of mine in the Yuletide 2005 Challenge. Originally this story was going to be a part of my Alva/Paul series and would take place later in their relationship. It was not originally meant to be a First Time story. But, things change sometimes. This version was a bit rushed to make the deadline for Yuletide; I believe it shows. The story suffers in a few places. Maybe I'll fix it one day.
Why did I write the story in this form if I didn't originally intend it to be like this? Because Yuletide is a Secret Santa project. Writing the story as a sequel to any of my others would have given me away (although the recipient figured it out pretty quick). Still, I can't just GIVE myself away...
A real polarity treatment is probably a bit different from this, but some things had to be fictionalized for the sake of the story.



A case in Clovis, New Mexico is what started it all. The overload of Paul's mind, and the unbelievable developments that followed.

Sodalitas Quaerito was investigating two things at once - a haunted orphanage, and the medium who claimed to be in contact with several dead children there. While she conducted a séance, SQ sat in to observe. The personal aspects of the case are what set Paul off, the fact that the ghosts were all orphans, like him. In the middle of the séance, Paul acted as if he also saw the spirits with which the medium communicated. It seemed to disturb him, what he saw.

"They were in such pain," Paul suddenly said. Everyone looked at him.

"Yes," the medium, Lisa Butcher, agreed. She wondered if he was a medium too, as Alva hadn't told her much, and if this was some sort of test. "One of the nuns beat them regularly."

"That wasn't the worst of it." He shook his head. "It was the sense of isolation, the feeling that no one loved them. That they were just a liability among so many others." Paul sighed heavily. "They didn't have someone like Poppi in their lives. They didn't have the chances I had."

"It's very sad, isn't it?" Lisa commented.

"It makes me feel helpless," responded Paul, with a defeated sigh. "That I can't help them. They're already dead."

"But there are things we can do for them, Paul. We can release them from this space. The children are trapped here," Lisa proclaimed.

But Paul was already aware of that.

Evie asked, "What do you suggest?"

Before Lisa or Alva could reply with answers, Paul blurted, "What are you afraid of?" He listened as if someone was talking to him. "You don't have to be afraid of her. She's been dead for years."

"Paul?"

He turned to Alva. "There was a nun who hit the children with a yardstick all the time, with little provocation."

"The children are telling you things about their lives?"

"Yes. They're all over the room, at least seven of them. They're still..." He listened. So did Lisa. "...here."

"The nun is too," she added.

Paul nodded. "She's somewhere back in the kitchen, but she's coming this way." He stood up so abruptly that his chair almost tipped over, rocking on its legs. "Come here, kids! Hide behind me, I won't let her get you."

"Could this ghost become violent?" Evie asked.

"The kids are pretty afraid of her."

As it turned out, Paul didn't need to clarify the situation, because seconds later, a table across the room toppled over as if something large and strong had swatted it. Everyone jumped with alarm. A fierce wind swooped in on the group, and the table they were sitting at began to thump up and down.

"Stop it," Alva commanded in an authoritative voice. Often, he had found, ghosts would listen if one just told them what to do. This ghost, however, did not listen.

Paul put both hands on the table and tried to hold it down. "It's the nun!" he said, as if they still needed that explanation. Suddenly the table stopped thumping; there was a sound like an object cut through the air and a loud slap on the back of Paul's hand. He yelled in pain, grabbing his hand with the other.

Alva and Evie could surmise what happened. The dead nun had tried to teach Paul a lesson with a smart smack on the back of the hand with her ruler. Paul stood his ground. "It's easy to hurt helpless little children who can't defend themselves, huh? Take me on!"

Alva could appreciate Paul's desire to help the children, but this was getting out of control; he could already see a red welt forming on Paul's hand. "Not a good idea to challenge her when she's already hurt you, Paul."

"They were just defenseless children in her care and she took advantage of that! I can't just walk away and leave them."

"No one is going to just walk away, but what good does it do to get yourself hurt for them?"

"Better me than innocent children." The phantom ruler came down on Paul's other hand. He yelped, and everyone else cringed.

Lisa cut in, "Let them go, Paul. There are things we can do to help the kids, but first we have to come up with a plan of action to get the nun out of the way. She's hurting you. Let the kids go so they can hide themselves for now."

"I can protect them," he protested.

"I can see it in your aura, Paul - you're holding the children here," said Lisa.

"The nun can't get at them if I protect them!"

Frustrated, Evie said, "But how long can you do that? You're just going to stand here for hours and take this punishment?"

"Just until the nun goes away." Paul suddenly addressed the ghost directly. "You're a disgrace to your religion. This is not the way we do things! I almost became one of you. I didn't take my vows, but I studied to be a priest, and this is not the way we discipline children anymore!"

As if in answer, the nun delivered a hard smack to Paul's upper arm, challenging his methods.

Alva urged, "This is not the time, Paul. Let them go." When Paul ignored him, his tone turned confrontational. "Are you repeating old patterns? Is this like when you held onto Tommy?" He knew that it wasn't the same thing, but Alva also knew the comment might make Paul mad enough to distract him from the ghost.

"That was a completely different situation. I'm standing my ground because these children have been trapped here for years, and they need someone to protect them from the abusive scum who was supposed to be taking care of them!" growled Paul.

The question Alva had put to him succeeded in ending the séance, but he angered the wrong person. The phantom nun demonstrated for the group what she did to the children when she really lost her temper. They heard the swishing sound and the ruler came cracking down on Paul's head. He grunted. The blow knocked him off balance and sent him reeling back into his chair, holding his head.

"Paul!" Alva and Evie were right at his side.

Lisa surveyed the room. "The ghosts have left this space for now." She regarded Paul with a shake of her head. "You're awfully impulsive, aren't you?"

Paul took his hand away from the goose egg forming at his hairline, looked up at her, and sighed.

*******

While Paul took some time to rest, Lisa and Alva had a conversation about him. "He's got a remarkable amount of psychic energy flowing through him. Paul's Third Eye chakra blazed like a star during that whole exchange with the children and the nun. It's very open. Maybe a little too open," Lisa mused.

"That's not really a good thing for Paul," Alva said, knowing enough of chakras to believe this to be true.

"No, it's not. Paul would benefit from some lessons in control and balance of chakra energy," she replied.

"Any suggestions? You've studied this more than I have, I have to admit."

"There are meditative techniques you can teach him, but at first, you should perform treatments on him yourself. There's a technique called polarity that would help Paul."

"Ah, I've heard of that," said Alva. "Never performed it on anyone, but I've read about it. It's a laying on of hands?"

Lisa nodded. "Do you think you could do that for him?"

A sly little smile came to Alva's face for the barest second. "Of course."

*******

SQ went back to Boston for a few days to work on Paul's chakra imbalance. Emerging from Alva's office in only his boxer shorts, Paul stood near the doorway and asked, "What did you say this technique was called?"

"Polarity." Alva patted the mat he'd laid out on the conference table. With Evie away doing research on the haunted orphanage and the nun, they were alone.

Why had he asked Paul to disrobe? It wasn't necessary. Polarity treatments could be performed with the subject fully clothed.

"Explain again what we're doing here." As Paul hopped up on the table and laid down on the mat, he found himself relaxing a bit, but not fully understanding why.

Alva stood over him. "We're giving you a polarity treatment to release excess chakra energy. We all agreed that Mrs. Butcher possesses real psychic abilities. She thought, and I agree, that you took the investigation of the orphanage too personally. Mrs. Butcher reads auras regularly, and she saw something very interesting in yours."

"The overactive chakras," Paul commented.

"Yes. Your Third Eye chakra and your Heart chakra are too open. You overidentified with the ghost children. It's very noble and selfless of you to care so much that you would put yourself in danger." He gazed at Paul for a moment, admiringly, almost longingly. "More of us should be able to give of ourselves as much as you do."

Paul's face flushed, because to hear such things about oneself could sometimes be embarrassing. But it was also pleasing to hear it, because it was not only flattering, but it came from Alva. After working together for nearly a year, the man's opinion mattered to Paul. There was a time that it hadn't. He smiled a little to see that soft, admiring look on Alva's face.

He continued, "But Paul, you're also very impulsive, and have a tendency to shut everything else out when you're working on a case. Your drive to help is so strong that you can be a danger to yourself and possibly others. Mrs. Butcher suggested to me that you would be better able to deal with the ghosts if I helped you release this excess energy and center your chakras. I too think this is the best course of action for you. Your head will be clearer."

"And less bumpy." Paul briefly touched his healing goose egg. "We'll help those children either way."

"Yes. This will make it easier."

Paul let out a relaxed sigh. "Okay, fine, let's do it then. Polarity is a type of massage?"

"Something like that." Alva smiled. "You could call it a laying on of hands. I will palpate certain spots on your body in a particular sequence as they relate to your chakras to work the excess energy out and help you release it. Because I'll be making actual contact with your skin, I'm going to use Baby Oil so the rubbing doesn't irritate it."

"Oh, okay." Just the thought of that sent a nice shiver of warmth up Paul's spine. Many months ago, that would have been an unpleasant thing for Alva to do to him, but now... there had been too many stolen looks and heated thoughts that had scared him for a while, but eventually, Paul had come to terms with his Catholic upbringing and his contradictory attraction to his boss. He had decided to deny himself the actual sin, even if he couldn't stop the sinful thoughts. He would pray and do penance. What he would not do is hate himself for what he now wished Alva would do with his hands. What torture would it be to have Alva laying his hands on him and not be able to respond the way he wanted to? Sometimes, Paul wondered if he had some sort of fetish for self-torture.

And what would Paul do if he knew Alva was entertaining similar thoughts, but without the religious shame?

Pleased with how accepting Paul was being, Alva began to oil up his fingers. "You'll feel the energy moving between the points of contact of my hands, as I'll be using them as conductors. In order for this to work, I must use verbal stimulation also, to ease you along. In that case, you must have trust in me, or you won't respond to my voice in a positive way. Do you trust me, Paul?"

Looking up into Alva's sharp features, Paul's eyes softened with affection, and he simply nodded.

That expression made Alva want to pet Paul's dark hair, but it wouldn't currently be appropriate. "Good. You've learned to over time, hm?"

Paul chuckled in response. "Yeah."

With the two men having no idea how the other felt, Alva laid his hands on Paul, first placing the fingers of one hand on the space between Paul's eyebrows. He rubbed lightly. "You can close your eyes if you like."

Paul did. "That's my Third Eye chakra."

"Yes." He rubbed a few seconds longer. "I'm going to make a connection now." Alva placed the first two fingers of his other hand on Paul's heart, stroking the area gently. "What do you feel?"

Silent at first, Paul appeared to be mulling it over with his brow slightly knitted. Soon, he relaxed. "I feel a... a current of tingling, like energy moving between the two points where you have your fingers. Like the chakras are exchanging energy."

"Is it a pleasant feeling?" Alva asked, after half a minute of nurturing the polarity between the two chakras.

Paul replied, "Um hm."

"Good. I'm going to spend a few minutes cultivating this connection, to sort of train the energy to respond to my touch. You may feel other pleasant sensations during this part of the treatment."

As Alva continued, Paul did feel warmth moving up and down his body, as well as the sensation of rocking back and forth on a softly flowing ocean wave. It was very relaxing. "Is this all there is to it?" he joked.

Raising one eyebrow at him, Alva said, "I'm going to guide the energy downward now." He removed his hand from Paul's head and placed it on his stomach, just above the navel, and started to rub there instead. Paul shivered a bit. "Do you feel it?"

"Yeah." He nodded as he spoke. "When you moved your hand, this surge of energy traveled down my chest to my stomach. It tingled."

"Excellent. It's working just as I had hoped. After I cultivate this a little longer, I'll move the energy into your Sacral chakra."

Paul shifted a little on the mat, and cleared his throat. "The Sacral chakra?"

"Yes."

"Uh... isn't that the chakra dealing with the sexual organs?" Paul asked.

"Pretty much. It deals with intimacy and feelings... and sexuality," explained Alva nonchalantly. "You've been doing your homework."

"A little." Paul was silent for half a minute while Alva palpated his midsection. He eventually got up the courage to ask, "Using my Sacral chakra for this purpose... running such an overload of energy through it... could that cause... could it stimulate..."

Alva had started to nod. "That will, most likely, be an unfortunate side effect." He glanced at Paul's crotch, not being able to help it, and quickly looked away.

Paul, drawing up his courage again, said, "It's not necessarily unfortunate."

Pausing in disbelief, Alva forced himself to continue the mini-massage and speak as if this wasn't a suspicious, sexually-charged comment. "Well, of course you would think that. You get to have all the fun," he chuckled.

Paul was a little disappointed; Alva didn't seem to catch the innuendo behind what he'd said. Perhaps he'd have to be a little plainer with his desires. Should he really do it? Should he finally reveal to Alva how he felt?

For his own part, Alva had been quite shocked by Paul's reaction. He would have suspected him to be embarrassed, even humiliated, by the thought that he was about to get an erection in front of his boss. Instead, Paul seemed relaxed and eager about it.

Paul licked his dry lips as his anticipation caused him to breathe a bit harder. He watched Alva move his hand to the waistband of his boxer shorts and nudge it down to expose the skin below his bellybutton. Paul let out a heavy, excited breath, but he tried to keep it quiet. Alva then placed his fingers on the spot between Paul's navel and just above his crotch and began to massage there, to stimulate his Sacral chakra, while at the same time, continuing to rub above Paul's navel. Within seconds, the surge of energy flowed into the Sacral chakra and filled Paul's body with sensations of sexuality and pleasure. He squirmed lightly, moaning with his mouth closed. Alva still heard it. The sound sent a delightful shiver up his spine.

"Focus, Keel. You're giving Paul a polarity treatment, not making love to him." This self-chastising didn't help, however, as Alva continued to obsess over how warm Paul's skin felt under his fingers, and enjoy the small tremble he felt there. "Paul, you're quivering," Alva allowed himself to say.

"Well... like you said... Sacral chakra..." Paul managed. His breath had quickened even more.

"I know." He knew very well what sort of feelings were running through the other man's body. Alva nurtured it, continuing to caress the two spots on Paul's body. While the minutes ticked by, the lump in Paul's shorts grew bigger; he writhed lightly on the mat in a pleasure-induced trance. Quiet sounds turned to all-out moans - Paul just couldn't help himself. The noises he was making began to arouse Alva too. He was glad Paul currently had his eyes closed so he couldn't see the longing in Alva's eyes. They were both going to be in quite a state before this was over. What would they do, both excited to their fullest, and neither one having the courage to act on his feelings?

Trying to concentrate on the polarity treatment, Alva coached Paul with, "Alright, I want you to focus your will on the energy surging through your Sacral chakra. Wrap your will around it. Control it. Hold it prone until you feel the energy curled into a tight little ball." He hoped putting his attention on the real reason for this little session would help calm his overactive, traitorous libido.

Paul, obviously distracted by his own sexual excitement, tried to do what Alva wanted him to do. "I'm... having trouble... concentrating..." he panted.

Alva noticed he'd opened his eyes. "Close your eyes, Paul." Besides making it easier to concentrate, it would keep Paul from seeing things about Alva that he shouldn't see. He needed an actual object to focus on. "Imagine the symbol of the Sacral chakra. Remember, we studied the symbols?"

"Mm hm."

"Then imagine that symbol. Bright orange, radiating energy, brilliant and wide open. Can you see it?"

Paul spent a few seconds trying to switch his focus off the pleasure surging through his body and to the mental image of that symbol. He finally nodded.

"Good. Now wrap your will around this radiating energy. Surround the symbol of the Sacral chakra with your strength. Overpower it. Concentrate it until it forms a tight ball," Alva instructed again. He was now only palpating the spot below Paul's navel, to help him keep the energy in place.

For half a minute, Paul worked on the mental picture Alva had given him and eventually said, "Okay, I think I have it."

"Now imagine all the excess energy exploding out from this chakra and leaving your body through your pores, to disperse in the atmosphere. Build it up and then make it explode. Rid yourself of the excess."

Paul seemed to be trying, but he started to shake harder and grit his teeth as he worked on it. "I... I can't."

"Yes you can, Paul," Alva assured. "Do it on the count of three. One, two, three... did the energy explode?"

Paul shook his head; he was now breathing even harder. "No, it's just staying in a tight little ball. It's shaking really hard. I can't will it to explode. I keep trying, but the energy won't respond. I've lost control."

Alva looked down at Paul's crotch. He was painfully hard. Alva instantly realized that Paul would not be able to release the energy until he had an orgasm. The excess energy had opened up his Sacral chakra until the relationship between the chakra and his sexual organs was too close. There was only one way to solve this problem. But were they ready for this?

"Paul... you can't release the energy because... uh... you need to..." Alva couldn't say it. His free hand hovered between Paul's legs, pointing the way.

As he opened his eyes, Paul revealed that he understood completely with only two words. "Touch me."

Alva thought his heart must've skipped a beat upon hearing those words. Could Paul be attracted to him too? Or did he just want relief? Surely if that was all he wanted, he wouldn't ask Alva, of all people, to do it for him. "You want me... to..."

Paul repeated more forcefully, "Touch me."

Inhaling sharply, Alva watched his hand move as if he was floating in some unbelievable dream; his fingers descended to draw down the waistband of Paul's boxers. Paul held his breath as his aroused cock was exposed, and Alva's hand fell on it, gripping it lightly at first, then fingers wrapping firmly around the shaft. Paul sighed out his anticipation. His eyes closed in an expression of ecstasy. Alva rubbed the shaft up and down, getting Paul's cock slick with Baby Oil. Paul moaned with pleasure. Alternating between gazing on Paul's aroused expression and the trembling member between his legs, both which excited him more, consuming him, Alva caressed the other man's crotch all over until the area was shining and slippery. He slowly felt Paul's balls just so he could watch the gratification play across his face.

"Ahhhh... ahhhh..." Paul moaned softly.

Alva's eyes were wide and searching. He couldn't believe this was happening. Months of secret anticipation that had built up within both of them was finally being satisfied, without either one aware that the other felt the same tension. He stroked Paul down a bit faster.

"Uhhh, uhhh..." Paul looked right up into the other man's eyes and moaned, "Alva..."

It was the first time Paul had really called him by his first name. For months, it had always been "Keel," when he addressed Alva directly, except for that time they had fought over Rebecca, when Paul was possessed by the ghost in Saugerties. That time didn't really count. Alva had always hoped Paul would become close enough to him to start calling him by his first name, as it was more personal. He had no idea the circumstances under which Paul first said it would be this close.

The name excited Alva beyond all control. With a growl, he leaned down and mashed his lips against Paul's in a forceful kiss. Paul gasped inwardly but responded with a hungry kiss of his own. He moaned into Alva's mouth. They were all grasping hands and groping fingers for several seconds as Alva tried to get his clothes off and Paul attempted to help him. Alva was only partially undressed when he climbed up on the table, grunting and snarling, poising himself over Paul. With one leg, he moved one of Paul's out of the way to make more room for himself, and loomed down on him, pressing his hard cock against Paul's and stroking deliciously. Their balls rubbed together also so that both felt their entire crotch area come alive with the fire of pleasure.

When Alva had started climbing up on the table, Paul's face showed not only passion, but terror. Even though he wanted this, how could they do it? Then Alva was on top of him and his brain tried to shut off the doubt and just give in to the satisfaction he craved. Paul let out a deep, heavy moan, arching his back and throwing back his head, surrendering.

Alva began to moan and pant too; he humped against the other man, his belt buckle knocking on the table. "Mm, urrgh, you feel good. You look so good." The look in his eyes was mad with arousal as he kissed Paul again.

Paul wrapped his arms around Alva's body; Alva held Paul's head in his hands. They kissed deeply and passionately. The room filled with the sound of heavy breathing. Quite suddenly, Paul's eyes flew open and he tried to push Alva up, a terrified look on his face. "No, no, no, no, we can't. We can't!"

The struggle was light. Alva did not stop rubbing against Paul. "Why not?" he challenged.

"Because it's a sin!"

"So what?" Alva growled. "You want this. I know you do."

"But... we can't..."

Still panting, Alva said, "You think too much. Sometimes, you should just do what you feel. God knows you're human." His tone was frustrated, but matter-of-fact.

Paul shook his head. "But... I don't know..."

"Do you want me?"

"Very much."

"Then stop doubting this. Just feel. Don't speak." Alva went in for another kiss.

"But... a sin -"

Alva slapped the table next to Paul's head. WHAM! Paul jerked in his skin with wide eyes.

"Don't. Speak," Alva commanded.

Paul just breathed for several moments as he made up his mind, then leaned up and stole the kiss first.

It only took a few minutes for the two of them to cum, they were both so wound up. Paul's moans filled the office and Alva's growls carried up the stairs where they were heard by the piles of paper and forgotten magazines of past research, and no one else. The two men lay lightly in each other's arms on the mat while they caught their breath. Paul stared up at the ceiling.

"Now what?" he asked.

Alva allowed himself to pet Paul's hair, as he'd wanted to do before. It was an indulgence he could now afford. "Your chakras are now balanced. Therefore, we go back to New Mexico and help those children."

Paul snorted. "I meant about us."

Sitting up, Alva gazed down at the other man and smiled. "Now, we talk about it."

*******

Lisa Butcher surveyed the main room of the old orphanage and grinned happily. "This space is clean."

Alva smiled too; the ceremony had gone so smoothly. Things were rarely this easy for SQ. For once, no one had almost been killed. "I am no psychic, but even I can feel it."

Paul, confident and satisfied with the work they had done, clapped Evie on the back. "Great work. We couldn't have done it without your research."

Evie shrugged. "It's like Alva always says, the answer almost always can be found in good, thorough research. We never would have known all those secrets about the nun's past that we were able to use against her."

"It gave us the ammunition we needed to shame her into leaving, so we could release the children." Lisa looked around again. "I don't feel them here anymore. Not at all."

Paul agreed. "They've gone on to the other side." He grew solemn. "To their Maker."

Alva took Lisa aside to speak to her privately. "There's always the chance that the nun will return and haunt this place again."

"We'll just have to come back and exorcise her, then. But at least she's let the children go."

Nodding, Alva gazed across the room at Paul with a telling grin. "He did really well."

"Yes." Lisa, also looking at Paul, said, "He is very centered now." She turned back to Alva. "The polarity treatment worked?"

Alva's grin widened. "Oh yes."

Returning his smile, Lisa said, "Good. You know, there's always the chance that Paul could become unbalanced again. Chakras do not stay in one state forever."

Alva looked at her. "I'm aware of that. What would you suggest Paul and I do to remedy this?"

"Well..." Lisa briefly thought it over. "...you'll just have to give him regular polarity treatments."

"Ah." Alva smirked. "That, my dear, will not be a problem."

"Polarity" (c) 2005 Demented Stuff/The Pleasure of the People
Miracles is (c) 2003 Spyglass Entertainment and Touchstone Television

miracles, alva/paul, polarity - final

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