fic: choosing is overrated (2/3)
Title: Choosing Is Overrated. (2/3)
Pairings: Cam, Carly/Freddie/Sam threesome
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don’t own iCarly or Drake & Josh.
Summary: It all started when Carly and Sam stumbled upon a very racy video of Spencer, Drake Parker-yes, the Drake Parker-and his manger Josh Nichols. And the next thing Carly knew she was kissing Freddie with Sam’s eyes on her.
Previous Part
Part II
The idea was like a bright light that had just erupted in Sam’s mind. It was like the glow from inside of a refrigerator when you opened it in the middle of the night-Sam couldn’t just turn away. It was so brilliant.
But the thought didn’t occur to her until a few days later. After Sam suddenly realized-Oh, how could she not have noticed it before?-how much Freddie liked watching Carly and her. As strange as it sounded, she didn’t fully understand the clarity in her mind until the end.
It started when they had finished their webshow for the week. Carly hugged Sam like she usually did and Sam for some reason found her eyes looking off in Freddie’s direction. She wouldn’t have bothered to keep her gaze there except she noticed that Freddie was staring at them. His video camera on his lap as if he was in the middle of setting it down but froze at the sight of them. And when Sam squeezed Carly one more time before letting her go, he cleared his throat and looked away quickly as if he hadn’t been staring at all.
And the look in his eyes was anything but jealousy. Sam smirked as the possibilities bubbled happily in her mind.
The video of Drake and Josh and Spencer replaying in her mind, she doubted anything was impossible. Who said three was a crowd? She thought. It didn’t look like Freddie would mind, after the way she caught him blatantly staring at them.
Throughout the week, the memory made her smile goofily, sometimes laughing at random intervals through out the day. She just couldn’t believe it. Freddie-boy was totally ogling them. Little Freddie, with his video camera and Kakki pants, wasn’t as innocent as he appeared. But he wasn’t so little anymore, was he? He still wore the Kakki pants and plaid shirts, except now he was tall, lanky, and the shirts fitted nicely over his chest. He was getting to be Spencer’s height. The boy had certainly grown.
Sam wasn’t sure what to make of her observations.
Suddenly she heard giggling. Carly and Sam were sitting on the couch, doing their homework. Well, Carly was doing her homework while Sam mostly watched television and ate. With her notebook abandoned on her lap, Carly was watching her with an amused expression. Then she giggled again.
“What?” Sam said. Watching Carly laugh always made Sam smile too, and when Carly kept giggling Sam ended up chuckling a little. “What is it?”
“I just saw your face change into a million different expressions,” Carly said finally. “First you were smiling, then you looked confused, and then you frowned.” Sam hadn’t realized she was so deep in thought and laughed at herself. Carly kept watching her, dark eyes shining in bemusement. “What’s up with you?” She asked.
“Nothing,” Sam couldn’t help the smirk still plastered on her face as she thought about Freddie the closet perv.
“Oh, something is definitely up,” Carly laughed. She poked Sam on her side, causing Sam to laugh at the assault. “Tell me,” Carly said, poking her with each word. Then Carly halted. “Did you do something illegal?” She asked worriedly. “Oh, wait, you did something horrible to Freddie!”
“I didn’t do anything!” Sam insisted. Then she paused for a second. “Well, not that I know of, anyway,” she carefully amended.
“Hm, alright,” Carly said, going back to her notebook.
“Whoa, so, you believe me?” Sam said, so surprised her eyebrows went up.
“No,” Carly replied automatically, eyes still on her notebook.
Then Sam eyebrows lowered, “Huh? So why aren’t you asking me a million questions right now?”
“Whatever it is, I’ll find out sooner or later,” Carly explained calmly, “Because I’m pretty sure I’m involved somehow.” This made Sam really laugh and caused Carly to look at her strangely.
“You know me so well,” Sam said as if explaining. Then she leaned over the opened textbook on the couch between them and kissed Carly on the lips.
Carly kissed her back, a smile on her lips. “What was that for?” She laughed.
Sam just shrugged, and resumed watching television. All the while, she was aware of Carly’s curious eyes still on her. She was staring at her like she was trying to figure her out or something. Sam never understood why Carly tried so hard to figure out something that didn’t need to be figured out. Then she felt the warmth of her gaze leave her and heard the rustle of pen to paper as Carly went back to her homework.
In the hall, they heard Spencer talking on the phone. Finally he hung up with a brightly said “Bye!” and walked into the living room, looking happy to see them. He swung over the back of couch and landed beside his sister.
“Watcha guys doin’?” Spencer asked cheekily.
“Homework,” both girls replied in monotone, even though Carly was the only one with a notebook and textbook out. Sam was still watching television, her head now resting against Carly’s shoulder.
“I don’t want to interrupt,” his voice dipped low at the last word as he waggled his eyebrows in that obvious way that Carly always found embarrassing. But she never said anything about it, instead she endured it with a blush and a fond roll of her eyes at her brother’s teasing.
“But I just wanted to tell you guys I’m going to L.A for a week,” he announced casually.
The complete silence after that statement was only tangible to Carly and Sam.
They both sat up, instantly locking gazes. Carly watched in horror as Sam’s face slowly lit up, her grin stretching impossibly wide. Oh, no, Carly thought, don’t say-
“L.A? You say?” Sam leaned in eagerly awaiting Spencer’s response. Spencer nodded, looking lost as he glanced between Carly’s stricken face and Sam’s sudden bright smile.
Sam looked as if she was suppressing the urge to explode in undignified squeals. Before this got out of hand, Carly decided maybe it was best to get Sam away from her brother. “Um, Sam? Can I speak to you?” Carly said, abruptly latching onto Sam’s arm and gently pulling on her to get up.
“Wait,” Sam nudged away from the brunette, still intent on finding out more about this place Spencer was suddenly headed to, and who he was meeting precisely. And maybe more about what they were going to do, together.
“NOW!” Carly gritted out. It was her attempt at subtly yelling but Spencer jerked in surprise anyway. Carly practically dragged the other girl over him, so Sam had to leap over the side of the table as she was hauled into the kitchen.
Once they reached the safe distance of the kitchen, Carly decided it was the best time to whisper harshly. “Sam!” Carly crouched down so that Spencer couldn’t see them.
“Whoa, woman,” Sam said, still wobbling from the mad dash to the kitchen and then Carly pulled her down to her level.
“Don’t say anything about the video,” Carly whispered the last word so low that Sam was sure she just mouthed it.
“Wha?” Sam said, still disoriented. Then she sat on the floor, folding her legs Indian style, she smiled up at Carly. “Oh,” She said, reaching into her back pocket and pulling out a scratched up DVD, labeled ‘Night in L.A.’ “You mean this?” She said.
Carly’s eyes became huge as she waved her hands around in shock. “You-you-where did you get that?!” Carly sputtered.
“In that box I told you to put it in.”
“Give me that!” Carly snatched the disc from her and Sam shrugged, unbothered. It drove Carly insane.
“Keep it. I made copies,” she replied.
“What?!” Carly yelped. “How can you-”
“Uh, guys?” Spencer called over. Carly leaned up, peering over the counter, she saw Spencer standing awkwardly as he leaned over the table to glance at the girls. “This is no time for hanky-panky,” he said, “I have to give you the list of people to call in case of emergencies.”
Carly quickly stood up straight. “There is no hanky-panky going on in here!” She said indignantly.
“What the hell is hanky-panky?” Sam said, straightening up too, beside Carly.
“Because if there was hanky-panky going on, it certainly wouldn’t be in the kitchen,” Carly continued, her voice getting higher and higher as she tried to explain, “I mean, not that there is any, of that, going on.”
“Oh,” Sam said, realization in her voice, “You mean sex.” Then she looked straight at Spencer, “Don’t worry, me and Carly are not having sex in here,” she said seriously.
“Sam,” Carly muttered through her teeth as she smiled awkwardly at her brother, knocking Sam with her elbow.
“I said, we’re not having sex,” Sam enunciated loudly as if the other girl was deaf. Carly rolled her eyes.
“Ladies,” Spencer used his rare grown-up voice, and Carly knew he was trying to say something serious. “I need to give you this list,” he said, pulling out a wrinkled paper from his back pocket.
“Okay,” Carly reluctantly agreed, shooting Sam a ‘zip-it’ look which Sam glanced blankly at.
Sitting back on the couch, Carly had to keep interrupting Sam’s inappropriate questions as Spencer went over all the arrangements, phone numbers, what-if scenarios that progressively got more and more ridiculous. And when Sam finally got bored asking questions, realizing Carly wouldn’t let her get a word in edge wise, Carly wondered about her questions. She wondered about all the other times Spencer had visited his friends in other states and cities. Were they different friends? Was it just Drake and Josh? When else did he go see them and she had no clue? Question after question left Carly more and more worried as she realized she didn’t know her brother as well as she thought.
Who exactly was Spencer Shay?
-x-x-
By the elevator there was a single suitcase with bright paint splotches on the tan colored fabric. Freddie walked into the apartment like he always did, flopping down on the chair adjacent to the couch as he watched Carly and Spencer whizz by the staircase and hall, checking things off a long list of things Spencer shouldn’t forget.
Sam was on the couch with her feet on the coffee table, ankles crossed and her hand on the remote.
Watching the constant change of the channel, Freddie looked irritably at the blonde. “Do you mind just picking a channel?”
Awaiting some snarky response back, he was surprised to hear nothing but Spencer yelling frantically for his tooth brush and Carly heaving a pained sigh somewhere in the hall. Turning to Sam, he found her looking back at him.
“Why are you staring at me like that?” Freddie said, eyeing Sam strangely.
She gave him a weird smirk-smile that either meant he was doomed for some sort of pain or she had a twisted idea that involved him.
Swallowing thickly, Freddie backed against the chair, “...Sam?” Watching her closely, he felt uncomfortable as her gaze, blue-eyes steady and heated, locked with his own. He couldn’t explain the rapid patter of his heart as he stared back, unwilling to lose this odd staring contest.
Then she chuckled to herself, turning back to the television and flipping the channels like she had been doing before. The moment gone, Freddie felt lost for a minute, but decided to keep it to himself, not willing to bring up the weird moment. Something told him it might lead him into dangerous territory.
Meanwhile Carly had her head backed against the wall beside the bathroom, worrying her lip as she weighed the options of confronting her brother about his mysterious trips or letting it go all together. She heard a commotion of bangs and the pattering of what sounded like everything in the medicine cabinet falling on the sink and floor. Lifting off the wall, Carly stepped into the bathroom.
“Where would it go?” Spencer cried. His chin was propped up on the sink as he sat on the lid of the toilet next to it. Pills from old prescription medicine, creams, and bottles littered the floor around him.
He looked hopeless.
“Uh, Spence?” Carly sat on the edge of the tub.
“What’s up Kiddo?” Spencer mumbled sadly, “Seen my toothbrush anywhere?”
“Did you-I mean, you ever think you know someone your whole life but then maybe you don’t know them like you thought you knew them, so then you question everything you thought you knew about them?” Carly blurted out, “You know?”
“So, I’m sensing this isn’t about my toothbrush,” he said slowly, lifting his chin off the sink. Then he noticed Carly’s look of distress. “Hey, what’s going on?” He asked concerned as she slumped with a sigh.
“I think…I,” she shook her head, as if trying to figure out how to say what she wanted to say. Spencer was looking at her all big-brotherly, kind eyes and ears-open. She was never good at hiding things from him. “What do you do if someone you know really well is hiding secrets from you?” She asked. “It’s like I don’t them anymore or something,” she said softly.
“That doesn’t mean you don’t know a person,” he said, “Everyone has things they don’t want other people to know.”
“But why keep a secret from me?” Carly asked desperately.
“Well, do you tell every single thing about your life to Sam for example?” He inquired.
Carly sat up, feeling angry. “Yeah, of course I-”
“Even about Mar mar?” Spencer innocently mentioned, “Your stuffed elephant, the one you hid under your bed to protect you from bed monsters.”
“I,” Carly’s mouth closed. Looking at her brother defeated, “That was low,” she muttered.
Spencer gave her wicked smile. “It’s natural for people to have secrets if they feel uncomfortable talking about it, people need their privacy, right?”
Carly sat there, thinking about Spencer’s words. Well, okay, she hid that particular piece of information from Sam but she didn’t actively go out of her way to hide it. It happened way before she met Sam. She was only three-years-old. But, reluctantly, Carly smiled, he was right. Even if he had secrets or relationships with people she didn’t know about, it didn’t mean he was a different person. Spencer would always be her big brother. He would always be creative and fun and caring and always there for her.
There was just one thing bothering her.
“Do you feel comfortable telling me things?” Carly asked.
His mouth opened as if he was about to answer instantly but then he stopped, eyes averted and filled with confliction.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to answer that,” Carly said quickly. She hated to see her brother struggling to answer something she knew wasn’t right of her to ask, so she said, “But I want you to know you can tell me things, if you ever want to.”
“I know,” Spencer smiled. Glancing at the mess he created on the floor, he gave Carly a sheepish look. “Help me clean this up?” He asked hopefully.
Carly laughed. “Sure.”
x-x
The three of them had watched Spencer leave, disappearing with a wave as the elevator door slid down.
Carly felt the tinge of sadness as she realized she would be alone for the week. Well, except for Mrs. Benson checking in on her everyday. As displeasing as that was she could understand her brother’s reasons for that decision.
She turned around and found Sam already in the kitchen and Freddie lounging on the couch. She smiled a little, feeling less alone.
As if aware of her gaze, Freddie turned to look at her, giving her smile, “So, what are you gonna do now?” He asked.
“No adult supervision for a week,” Sam said behind her, walking out of the kitchen with bottle of juice in one hand. She had a smile on that Carly knew was caused by the trouble-making ideas brewing in her mind.
“Spencer trusts me,” Carly said responsibly and a nod of her head. “So, whatever you’re thinking, you can forget about it.” Carly had a resolved look, so Sam shrugged as she flopped on the chair. Sam knew which battles to pick.
“Why don’t we work on the next iCarly?” Freddie suggested, sitting up, he looked excited. “I was working on this new lighting technique that could-”
“Yawn,” Sam interjected. “Me and Carly have things to do, so, get out.”
Freddie seemed to deflate before he quickly reverted to giving Sam a glare. It was the glare he reserved specifically for when she threw less than nice comment his way.
“Sam,” Carly scolded.
“I need to tell you something,” Sam muttered to her, giving her a meaningful side-glance before she turned to Freddie and commanded him to leave with a poignant point to the door.
About to argue, Freddie got up but then his anger left him as he looked at both girls. Hesitating for a second, he seemed to settle on a small smile, eyes averted and awkwardly scratching the back of neck. “I get it. You guys want to be alone, I’ll, uh, go…now,” he said, making his way toward the door.
“Wait!” Carly said, guilt weighing her, “You don’t have to leave, we-”
“No,” Freddie said softly, shaking his head. “It’s okay, I’ll see you guys later.” He looked as if he was trying really hard to keep the smile from falling off his face.
Damn, now Sam felt bad. Without thinking, she said, “Thanks,” and then she shut her mouth. She couldn’t believe she just thanked Freddie. Refusing to look at him, she leaned down on the chair and looked at her sneakers. She knew he was probably looking at her surprised or happy or whatever.
“No problem,” She heard him say. His voice was warm and light in that way where she could imagine him giving her smile, a genuine one.
As soon as the door closed, Carly turned to Sam. “That was really mean!” She said. “You can’t just kick Freddie out, he’s our friend, and he probably feels-”
“We should be in a threesome with him,” Sam said.
“-left out, and sometimes I know we want to be alone but we shouldn’t just…” Carly paused mid-sentence. Then her gaze lifted upward as if she was trying to think.
Sam took a swig of her juice as she waited for Carly to-
“WHAT?!!” Carly screamed, eyes bulging out as she stared at Sam, shocked.
Sam covered her ear with one hand, wincing, “Ow, woman, my ear drum.”
“Did you just say what I think you said, or am I hearing your voice in my head?” Carly said, breathing hard, “Because if you said that then I rather be crazy!”
“Congratulations,” Sam peered up at her from behind the bottle, “You’re not crazy,” she gave her what she hoped was her winning smile.
Carly paled.
“Okay, so maybe it’s … a little crazy,” Sam admitted.
Carly was sputtering, “A little?!” Her arms waving around.
“Why not?” Sam said, suddenly with a spark of conviction. She stood up, pulling on Carly’s hand until they both sat on the couch, together. Carly was watching her like she had gone insane. “We’re already together most of the time, right?” Sam said, “And you said we shouldn’t leave him out.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Carly said, feeling her throat dry. Because this was just too much to handle-all her thoughts were circling around that video and then her guilt for actually maybe liking Freddie more than she should. “It’s not even realistic! I mean, do you see Valentines Day cards in the ‘for your significant others’ section?!” She argued.
“Hm, that’s not a bad idea, there could be a market out there for those,” Sam nodded, “I like the way you think, Carly Shay.” She grinned.
“Oh, I can see it now,” Carly groaned. She sat up straight, mocking herself in a convenience store, “Um, can I get a card for the two people I’m in a threesome with?” Her voice overtly sweet and innocent.
“What’s the big deal about Valentines day, anyway?” Sam grumbled. “It’s just some lame holiday.”
“Hey!” Carly exclaimed. “We are going to celebrate that holiday, missy. I’ve only been in three relationships my entire life and they all ended way before February, so, we’re celebrating it, end of story!” Carly said sternly, poking Sam in the shoulder hard.
“Alright, alright, jeez, I’ll get you a steak,” Sam said, rubbing her sore shoulder. All Sam did was try to share an idea and all of a sudden she was getting abused. She had no idea how the conversation veered off course. “I thought we were talking about me, you and Freddie, not getting some cards,” She muttered.
“It’s crazy!” Carly said, “You actually think Freddie would-that we could all just be together like that, things don’t work that way.”
“Yes! He would,” Sam argued, “He would totally go for this!”
Carly rolled her eyes, “Okay, explain,” She said, scoffing, “I’d like to hear this.”
“Alright,” Sam sighed heavily, “I never told you this but…” taking a deep breath and looking directly at Carly, Sam blurted out, “Me and Freddie kissed.”
Carly blinked a few times, a blank expression on her face. “I know.”
“You know?” Sam echoed in shock. “Since when?”
“Last year, Freddie told me,” Carly said, nonchalantly. “Something about not wanting to ruin his chance to be with me, coming clean and all that.” She waved her hand around as if it were all old news.
“That good for nothing weasel,” Sam growled. “It was supposed to be a secret!” She shook her head, fisting her hand as she got angrier and angrier, “When I get a hold of him, he’ll be so sorry.”
“Some secret,” Carly said dryly.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well, you just told me right now,” Carly said.
“Never mind about that,” Sam shook her head, starting to get exhausted.
Carly folded her arms over her chest. Pursing her lips, she refused to face Sam.
There was silence. And then Sam watched as Carly glanced down, head probably filled with thoughts. Over-thinking everything.
Sam was caught off guard when Carly looked up at her with an indefinable expression. Sam felt worried because she couldn’t remember Carly being like this. Unreadable and distant. “Why are you bringing this up?” Carly asked. She looked down at her hands, tugging on her fingers, “Is it because we’re not like…enough?” It was so frustrating, Sam thought, when Carly wouldn’t look at her because it only meant that Sam was causing her to feel unsure and scared. “Isn’t the two of us, enough?” Carly asked her, finally lifting her head. She was gazing at Sam as if she was holding back something, and Sam really wished she knew what was going on in that head of hers.
“Do you like Freddie?” Sam asked instead.
Carly’s eyes widened as if she had been caught. Sam had noticed things. It wasn’t in her nature to be so observant but she found herself collecting all these small memories when she watched Carly. Like the way Carly would brush her hair out of her eyes again and again without even realizing it. Or the way she would always look surprised when Sam had kissed her for the first few times. And sometimes the way Carly would look at Freddie with gentle eyes, sometimes filled with longing. Sam noticed, but it was strange because she didn’t feel betrayed. When she figured it out, she wasn’t as upset about it as she should have been.
She guessed, it would’ve been pretty hypocritical of her if she had been.
“No-I mean, I,” Carly bit her lip, hesitating long enough for Sam to know and know for sure.
Sam gave her a wry smile, “I’ll admit Fredward’s not all that bad-looking,” and seeing Carly laugh, things didn’t seem as heavy anymore. “But if you ever tell him I said that, I’ll kill you,” Sam said seriously.
“So, you’re saying we should be in a threesome because we both have a crush on Freddie?” Carly said, disbelieving. She wanted to dismiss the idea like it was nothing but a random thought Sam’s brain just happened to pop out.
It wasn’t just a random idea. Sam had watched the video several times, and past all the skin and lust there was something there that felt… complete. Each of them all added something to each other. All three of them fit together perfectly.
And as much as she hated to admit it, Freddie had already become a big part of her life just as much as Carly was and she knew Carly felt the same.
She understood how Carly felt-it was scary as hell to even think about an idea like this. It was bizarre. But Sam was never one to doubt any of her actions because it might be weird or abnormal. She knew when to trust her instincts, even if it might land her in trouble or worst. Life would suck if you constantly ignored what your heart was screaming at you to do. Sam thought that would be a pretty painful existence.
But Carly felt insecure. She was starting to doubt everything in their relationship. She couldn’t help asking what was missing in her that wasn’t enough for Sam?
“It’s crazy,” she said, this time with less force. Looking away from Sam’s intense blue eyes, hopeful, vulnerable and unreal-Carly couldn’t stop the thoughts running through her mind, a million miles per hour.
Suddenly the door creaked open and the air felt still and cold. Carly looked uncomfortable, barely restrained panic in her eyes as Freddie came through the door.
Fantastic timing, Sam thought sarcastically.
“Sorry, I forgot to get my camera, I’ll go,” Freddie assured them, quickly jogging up the stairs.
Watching him go up the stairs, an idea occurred to Sam. She looked at Carly then, drawing closer to her. “I wanna show you something,” Sam whispered.
Sam was climbing on her lap. Carly looked up, shocked, her chest seizing up as she felt the inside of Sam’s thighs press against the outer ones of hers. “W-what are you doing?” Carly asked. “Freddie is just-”
“First, I’m gonna relax you,” Sam murmured, interrupting her. Her hands on Carly’s shoulders, her thumbs pressed gently on her collar bone, “So, relax,” Sam instructed softly.
Carly’s face felt hot. And she had that jittery feeling she usually got when she drank way too much peppy cola. Sam watched her dark brown eyes get hazy, long curled lashes drooping down half-way. And then Sam knew she was doing something right.
Smirking to herself, Sam ran her fingers through Carly’s long inky black hair. Smooth and silky, she let her fingers run down the strands brushing against her neck. “Second,” she whispered, “I’m going to show you that he does like to watch us like this.”
Carly was watching her silently, stunned. Sam felt the same warmth she had become familiar with when Carly stared at her sometimes. This feeling, looking directly at Carly, having her look at her like she was something amazing-it was really new. And Sam thought it felt pretty incredible.
Suddenly, they heard a thud. Carly twisted under Sam to turn half-way and look at the staircase behind them.
Freddie had tripped on the staircase-a set of stairs he had stepped on maybe a million times before. His cheeks were scarlet as he stared at them for a long moment. Trying to regain his balance and stand up, he attempted to grasp the banister but failed several times. And it was only because his eyes kept travelling to Carly, then Sam on Carly’s lap, again and again. And then he was stuttering something that sounded like “Bye!” and “See you later!” as he rushed out the apartment, barely holding onto his camera.
Sam watched the door slam close, a barely restrained chuckle escaping her lips.
When she looked down, she saw Carly’s eyes had that faraway gaze, widened a degree and unfocused. Sam watched her, trying not to fidget on her lap as a little worry crept into her thoughts while Carly remained silent.
Then Carly finally uttered, “Oh, my god …you’re right.” She was dumbfounded.
And Sam smiled in triumph.
Next part