Poor Pepper ... Tony being a self-absorbed ass and then admitting why... Will Pepper ever get to hear it?
Just something I noticed ... on some of your paragraphs they run a bit longer than is easier to read. Long paragraphs work when the action needs to be grouped together or in the case of Tony's long, nonsensical rambling messages to Pepper, but at other time it would be easier to read if you broke the paragraphs up more. It's good practice when you notice any paragraph is longer than 5 sentences long to ask yourself it it can be broken apart.
Thanks for the feedback too. You know, at one time i considered doing that, but then i was like 'nah, it'll be alright.' I'll definitely consider doing that; i have to spoil my faithful readers after all ;) In all seriousness though, thank you for the feedback and i'll try to keep that in mind while working on the next chapters.
Like I said ... this is "pot calling the kettle black" stuff.
I tend to get too embroiled in the writing and then, in re-reading it, realize I have a 12-page long paragraph without a single break. It's kind of a "look in the mirror and recognize your own writing habits" kind of thing.
Enjoyed the story ... can't wait until the next chapter.
Hmmmm ... is Iron Maiden really Pepper's friend ... is she going to try to save Pepper's life and tick off the Mandarin? All these things I want to see in upcoming chapters :-)
I am so honored that you adore my story, really. In all honesty, when i first started posting it, i wasn't sure what the reaction to it would be, but so far all of it has been good. I'm so glad you look forward to my updates, and the next chapters are on the way. I know the cliff hanger was evil, but i had to do something to keep you guys on the edge of your seats.
Writing is just like riding a bike, you have to practice, and to be honest, i practiced a lot before i actually began posting my stuff. If you ever decide you want to start, i would be more than happy to beta for you, that is if you want to. Honestly, it took me a long time to get this good, so it's never too late to start ;)
Of course i didn't mind you friending me! :D As long as you don't mind me friending you back ;)
Okay I know I said I was gonna wait to review but I'm bedridden and bored so here we go...
Clingy!Tony makes me all fuzzy for some reason. Since he's new at the relationship thing I thought it was appropiate (and kinda hilarious) that he was flooding Pepper's voicemail while having his own internal struggle/boyfriend freak out.
Gotta love Pepper standing her ground in front of Iron Maiden and I can't help but wonder if she left Pepper's phone there on purpose? She's a pro, and her alter ego knows Pepper's Blackberry is like an extension of her body. She'd be a sloppy villain if she forgot to take it.
Also Pepper's text was epic. I just hope Tony gets back up cuz we don't want him walking into a trap!
Oh and LOVE SCENE = YES PLZ
Seriously at this point if there's no love scene Tony's gonna die of blue balls and I'll be so very sad.
I hope this makes sense. Still got a fever. Bless the IPhone.
Well, I had to make him sort of clingy, he was drunk after all. Flooding her voicemail with messages is something i think he would do while drunk.
Honey, seriously, are you a mind reader? for real... this is spooky, that being said, i'm not saying anymore to you because that was just.... *shivers* LOL!!
We're getting closer and closer, i promise. Trust me, the anticipation is killing me, and i'm the one who has to write it.
If you remember a couple of chapters back, Fury came to the mansion and showed both Tony and Pepper the security footage of Iron Maiden in SHIELD HQ. That's how Pepper knew who she was ;)
Comments 9
Poor Pepper ... Tony being a self-absorbed ass and then admitting why... Will Pepper ever get to hear it?
Just something I noticed ... on some of your paragraphs they run a bit longer than is easier to read. Long paragraphs work when the action needs to be grouped together or in the case of Tony's long, nonsensical rambling messages to Pepper, but at other time it would be easier to read if you broke the paragraphs up more. It's good practice when you notice any paragraph is longer than 5 sentences long to ask yourself it it can be broken apart.
A "pot calling the kettle black" kind of thing.
Next chapter, please.... Can't wait.
Reply
Thanks for the feedback too. You know, at one time i considered doing that, but then i was like 'nah, it'll be alright.' I'll definitely consider doing that; i have to spoil my faithful readers after all ;) In all seriousness though, thank you for the feedback and i'll try to keep that in mind while working on the next chapters.
Reply
I tend to get too embroiled in the writing and then, in re-reading it, realize I have a 12-page long paragraph without a single break. It's kind of a "look in the mirror and recognize your own writing habits" kind of thing.
Enjoyed the story ... can't wait until the next chapter.
Hmmmm ... is Iron Maiden really Pepper's friend ... is she going to try to save Pepper's life and tick off the Mandarin? All these things I want to see in upcoming chapters :-)
Reply
You know i can't tell you that ;) The upcoming chapters of on their way, like i said, be patient with me :D
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
Writing is just like riding a bike, you have to practice, and to be honest, i practiced a lot before i actually began posting my stuff. If you ever decide you want to start, i would be more than happy to beta for you, that is if you want to. Honestly, it took me a long time to get this good, so it's never too late to start ;)
Of course i didn't mind you friending me! :D As long as you don't mind me friending you back ;)
Reply
Clingy!Tony makes me all fuzzy for some reason. Since he's new at the relationship thing I thought it was appropiate (and kinda hilarious) that he was flooding Pepper's voicemail while having his own internal struggle/boyfriend freak out.
Gotta love Pepper standing her ground in front of Iron Maiden and I can't help but wonder if she left Pepper's phone there on purpose? She's a pro, and her alter ego knows Pepper's Blackberry is like an extension of her body. She'd be a sloppy villain if she forgot to take it.
Also Pepper's text was epic. I just hope Tony gets back up cuz we don't want him walking into a trap!
Oh and LOVE SCENE = YES PLZ
Seriously at this point if there's no love scene Tony's gonna die of blue balls and I'll be so very sad.
I hope this makes sense. Still got a fever. Bless the IPhone.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Reply
Well, I had to make him sort of clingy, he was drunk after all. Flooding her voicemail with messages is something i think he would do while drunk.
Honey, seriously, are you a mind reader? for real... this is spooky, that being said, i'm not saying anymore to you because that was just.... *shivers* LOL!!
We're getting closer and closer, i promise. Trust me, the anticipation is killing me, and i'm the one who has to write it.
Feel better sweetie!
Reply
Time to skip hitting the bottle Tony!
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