My dad was out doing yard work at 1:30 AM.

stir f r y betty: so i was reading about female ejaculation.
stir f r y betty: and learned that anyone can achieve the maximum sensation of gushing like the niagra falls
stir f r y betty: wouldn't you like to finish out the night sleeping next to a giant puddle of vaginal juice feeling like the successor?
stir f r y betty: AMY, WOULDN'T THAT BE ( Read more... )

I drive on this certain street for the hills.

The most annoying thing about the workplace is that when you show up in the morning you say "hi" to everyone and then for some reason, you have to continue to greet these people all day every time you see them. You walk in at the start of the day, "Morning, Bill, morning, Bob. How are you doing?" "Fine ( Read more... )

he doesn't do anything he used to do.

My pretty little church-bell belle,
jesuit are your eyes of wonder.
cling to a tender, bellwether'd finger
and faith will blindly lead you astray.

Yesterday was pants-shitting pandemonium. I heart you.
Finally got to watch Rules of Attraction & it was nothing like I had expected; it was better! Though, it included actors of eternal and immutable dislikes, I had appreciated the movie for giving them roles that would continue this hatey-wanna-spit-in-their-face animosity. As for the characters ( Read more... )

shitty shitty shit shit fuck

I got a checking account today.
moneys, here i come.

People everywhere tend to live in a rose-tinted bubble of positive illusions, keeping themselves from going bonkers by believing that friends like them more than they really do or that bad things are less likely to happen than is actually the case.

T.S. Eliot was spot on when he wrote that "Humankind cannot bear much reality"

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

I was on a self-imposed international news embargo for the past week. Lemme ask you, man-- is George W. Bush's foreign policy acutally working ( Read more... )