PhotoFic: Scruffy and the Plastic Prisons
I GOT LOTS OF TOYS FOR CHRISTMAS! And that's going to work out well for you guys. Wanna know why? PHOTOFICS.
Title: Scruffy and the Plastic Prisons
Word Count: 993
Photo Count: 18 (dail-up users beware!)
Rating: PG-13 for toy-sex
Summary: Scruffy frees the other Pirates characters from their packaging, with unexpected (ok not really) results.
If you want a little something more, you can see how Scruffy helped with Christmas dinner.
Scruffy and the Plastic Prisons
One day, Scruffington was walking along the streets of an anonymous port town, ruminating on his life. It was mostly boring. Ever since Jack Sparrow had become Kraken-chow and Will and Elizabeth had sailed off to World's End in a naïve mission motivated by guilt and misplaced honour to bring the swishy pirate back to life, nothing much had happened.
Scruffy had become a privateer captain and was doing well, but he couldn't bring himself to replace his battered coat and hat. There were too many memories contained in those patches and discolorations... memories of desperation and betrayal. Some of the spots on his trousers held a different sort of memory, but Scruffy was keeping mum about that. No amount of persuasion or torture could force him to confess, except maybe a bit of ear-nibbling. Ear-nibbling could break any man's will.
However, no-one had bothered to nibble Scruffy's ear in quite some time and he was feeling a little lonely. He was normally a man of action, but lately he'd been more like a man of moping.
Wait, what was this? Scruffy rushed forward to examine the strange obstruction which had suddenly appeared in his path. Was it dangerous? He drew his sword in readiness for battle.
It was ELIZABETH! Scruffy was very surprised to see her again, and in such a peculiar situation! Obviously, she needed to be rescued!
Scruffy set to work. He hacked vigorously at the strange transparent covering, and untangled the queer bendy ropes that bound Elizabeth. It was very tricky. Luckily, Scruffy is a smart and dextrous lad.
At last, she was free! Elizabeth fell into Scruffy's arms with gratitude, spilling delicate tears on his coat lapels. Scruffy held her close to calm her tremors.
"Oh, James!" cried Elizabeth, lifting her distressed, angelic face. "You must help me to save Will!"
"Our ship was sucked into a whirlpool on our voyage back from World's End. Will did all kinds of brave and heroic things, and I helped. But we got sucked down anyway."
"Come on, James!" cried Elizabeth as Scruffy tarried, feeling his heart crumble a little bit inside his chest. "Please? As a... um... well, it'd just be nice."
Scruffy sighed a sigh of angst. "Of course I'll help rescue your fiance, Elizabeth," he said. Perhaps this was a way to redeem himself.
Though Scruffy flexed many a swarthy and witty muscle, Elizabeth only had eyes for Will. They were very happy to see each other.
Scruffy turned his back to give them some privacy.
The reunion took quite a while.
Scruffy passed the time by polishing his sword. His METAL sword. Perverts.
"Oh, bugger it," said Scruffy, and went to find some rum.
The world became hazy and beautiful... the orgiastic love-cries of Will and Elizabeth faded into the background; Scruffy almost felt like a human again. He almost felt loved. Rum loved him. It would never desert him. Never.
Wait a moment, what was this? Surely he wasn't so drunk as to be imagining things....
Something he so desperately wanted, something which he had dreamed about almost nightly for the past year. This was Scruffy's chance for a true redemption. And maybe some ear nibbling!
"Damn this fiendish packaging!" yelled Scruffy in manly frustration. He went over to Elizabeth, thinking she could help him for once. "Elizabeth, might I borrow this sword?"
"Oh God Will, faster!" shrieked Elizabeth. "I want to ride you like a stallion!"
"Thank you very much," said Scruffy politely. "Good day!"
With two swords to hand, Scruffy hurried back to his long lost lov-boyfr-one night sta-their relationship was a little complicated, ok?
"I will release you, Jack Sparrow," Scruffy vowed. "I swear upon the tatters of my wig that you shall be free within the hour."
The bonds were just as tricky as the others, but Scruffy carefully pocketed them. They could come in handy, later.
Scruffy loosened all the ties, but Jack wasn't moving. Scruffington leaned down carefully, brushing a lock of hair from his former Captain's forehead.
"Jack. Jack! Wake up, Jack!" he called softly.
Jack's eyes fluttered open. He gazed up at Scruffy. "You rescued me, mate?"
Scruffy nodded. His mouth was suddenly dry. "I... I feel there are some things which need to be said between us."
Jack waited patiently for him to continue.
"Foremost, I must apologize for the egregious manner in which I betrayed your trust. You have made it clear that you do not feel that our most recent... interactions necessitate a mutual responsibility to each other's wellbeing, but my honour does not allow me to hold the same philosophy. Therefore, I must make amends if you will allow me to do so. What say you, Sparrow?"
Jack grinned and climbed up Scruffy's body as if it were an especially warm and cuddly palm tree. "We'll talk about this later, luv," he said, clinging like a monkey. "I've been trapped in a plastic box for weeks and I'm incredibly randy!
Scruffy gasped. "Jack!" he cried. "This is scarcely appro-mmph"
"Have you switched colognes?" asked Jack, smirking devilishly. "cause you smell a lot better than the last time we did this."
Scruffy growled and set about preventing any further insult.
Some time later, Jack and Scruffy made themselves look respectable again. As respectable as they could look, anyway.
"Here's your hat luv," said Jack, setting it deftly on Scruffy's head.
"By the by, my dear former Commodore," Jack continued, adjusting the angle of it. "How did you get out of your box? I wouldn't expect the whelps to help you."
Scruffy paused in buckling Jack's belts and looked at him curiously. "What are you talking about, Jack? I was never in a box."
Jack's eyes widened. "Is that so," he said carefully. "Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure." Scruffy looked at him suspiciously. "Is there something you aren't telling me?"
Jack decided to show him instead.
"Oh my God!" said Scruffy.
___________________
I have no idea what sort of feedback one would leave for this, but I'm a slut for it anyway.
Title: Scruffy and the Plastic Prisons
Word Count: 993
Photo Count: 18 (dail-up users beware!)
Rating: PG-13 for toy-sex
Summary: Scruffy frees the other Pirates characters from their packaging, with unexpected (ok not really) results.
If you want a little something more, you can see how Scruffy helped with Christmas dinner.
Scruffy and the Plastic Prisons
One day, Scruffington was walking along the streets of an anonymous port town, ruminating on his life. It was mostly boring. Ever since Jack Sparrow had become Kraken-chow and Will and Elizabeth had sailed off to World's End in a naïve mission motivated by guilt and misplaced honour to bring the swishy pirate back to life, nothing much had happened.
Scruffy had become a privateer captain and was doing well, but he couldn't bring himself to replace his battered coat and hat. There were too many memories contained in those patches and discolorations... memories of desperation and betrayal. Some of the spots on his trousers held a different sort of memory, but Scruffy was keeping mum about that. No amount of persuasion or torture could force him to confess, except maybe a bit of ear-nibbling. Ear-nibbling could break any man's will.
However, no-one had bothered to nibble Scruffy's ear in quite some time and he was feeling a little lonely. He was normally a man of action, but lately he'd been more like a man of moping.
Wait, what was this? Scruffy rushed forward to examine the strange obstruction which had suddenly appeared in his path. Was it dangerous? He drew his sword in readiness for battle.
It was ELIZABETH! Scruffy was very surprised to see her again, and in such a peculiar situation! Obviously, she needed to be rescued!
Scruffy set to work. He hacked vigorously at the strange transparent covering, and untangled the queer bendy ropes that bound Elizabeth. It was very tricky. Luckily, Scruffy is a smart and dextrous lad.
At last, she was free! Elizabeth fell into Scruffy's arms with gratitude, spilling delicate tears on his coat lapels. Scruffy held her close to calm her tremors.
"Oh, James!" cried Elizabeth, lifting her distressed, angelic face. "You must help me to save Will!"
"Our ship was sucked into a whirlpool on our voyage back from World's End. Will did all kinds of brave and heroic things, and I helped. But we got sucked down anyway."
"Come on, James!" cried Elizabeth as Scruffy tarried, feeling his heart crumble a little bit inside his chest. "Please? As a... um... well, it'd just be nice."
Scruffy sighed a sigh of angst. "Of course I'll help rescue your fiance, Elizabeth," he said. Perhaps this was a way to redeem himself.
Though Scruffy flexed many a swarthy and witty muscle, Elizabeth only had eyes for Will. They were very happy to see each other.
Scruffy turned his back to give them some privacy.
The reunion took quite a while.
Scruffy passed the time by polishing his sword. His METAL sword. Perverts.
"Oh, bugger it," said Scruffy, and went to find some rum.
The world became hazy and beautiful... the orgiastic love-cries of Will and Elizabeth faded into the background; Scruffy almost felt like a human again. He almost felt loved. Rum loved him. It would never desert him. Never.
Wait a moment, what was this? Surely he wasn't so drunk as to be imagining things....
Something he so desperately wanted, something which he had dreamed about almost nightly for the past year. This was Scruffy's chance for a true redemption. And maybe some ear nibbling!
"Damn this fiendish packaging!" yelled Scruffy in manly frustration. He went over to Elizabeth, thinking she could help him for once. "Elizabeth, might I borrow this sword?"
"Oh God Will, faster!" shrieked Elizabeth. "I want to ride you like a stallion!"
"Thank you very much," said Scruffy politely. "Good day!"
With two swords to hand, Scruffy hurried back to his long lost lov-boyfr-one night sta-their relationship was a little complicated, ok?
"I will release you, Jack Sparrow," Scruffy vowed. "I swear upon the tatters of my wig that you shall be free within the hour."
The bonds were just as tricky as the others, but Scruffy carefully pocketed them. They could come in handy, later.
Scruffy loosened all the ties, but Jack wasn't moving. Scruffington leaned down carefully, brushing a lock of hair from his former Captain's forehead.
"Jack. Jack! Wake up, Jack!" he called softly.
Jack's eyes fluttered open. He gazed up at Scruffy. "You rescued me, mate?"
Scruffy nodded. His mouth was suddenly dry. "I... I feel there are some things which need to be said between us."
Jack waited patiently for him to continue.
"Foremost, I must apologize for the egregious manner in which I betrayed your trust. You have made it clear that you do not feel that our most recent... interactions necessitate a mutual responsibility to each other's wellbeing, but my honour does not allow me to hold the same philosophy. Therefore, I must make amends if you will allow me to do so. What say you, Sparrow?"
Jack grinned and climbed up Scruffy's body as if it were an especially warm and cuddly palm tree. "We'll talk about this later, luv," he said, clinging like a monkey. "I've been trapped in a plastic box for weeks and I'm incredibly randy!
Scruffy gasped. "Jack!" he cried. "This is scarcely appro-mmph"
"Have you switched colognes?" asked Jack, smirking devilishly. "cause you smell a lot better than the last time we did this."
Scruffy growled and set about preventing any further insult.
Some time later, Jack and Scruffy made themselves look respectable again. As respectable as they could look, anyway.
"Here's your hat luv," said Jack, setting it deftly on Scruffy's head.
"By the by, my dear former Commodore," Jack continued, adjusting the angle of it. "How did you get out of your box? I wouldn't expect the whelps to help you."
Scruffy paused in buckling Jack's belts and looked at him curiously. "What are you talking about, Jack? I was never in a box."
Jack's eyes widened. "Is that so," he said carefully. "Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure." Scruffy looked at him suspiciously. "Is there something you aren't telling me?"
Jack decided to show him instead.
"Oh my God!" said Scruffy.
___________________
I have no idea what sort of feedback one would leave for this, but I'm a slut for it anyway.