4th Day of Christmas: Gift for kirin-saga
Title: Feeling
Author: sapphiiremoon
Recipient: kirin-saga
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Romano/Spain, slight Greece/Japan, brief mentions of other nations
Word Count: 4,699
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Graphic sex and language
Summary: Spain can feel others’ emotions as easily as if they were his own, but it’s less of a gift and more of curse. Romano just wants him to stop smiling as if everything is okay when it isn’t. Tonight, it’s about feeling in a different way.
Note to Recipient: I think this ended up being more smut than plot, damn it >.> But I really loved the prompt, and this gave me an opportunity to try out writing Seme!Romano!. So, I hope this is okay, kirin-saga . Merry Christmas~!
It wasn’t that Spain’s smile never slipped. It just happened so seldom, people forgot that his grin wasn’t permanently fixated to his face. Spain was fine with everyone believing him to possess an eternal cheerfulness. He had almost convinced himself of the fact, actually.
He was also content with the other nations believing him to be painfully oblivious. It was easier to pretend that his happiness never wavered if he also pretended not to notice the things that could affect it.
He couldn’t remember when it had first come to his attention. He couldn’t recall a single moment when he realized his empathy for others went far beyond the norm. As far back as he could remember, every time somebody smiled he felt warmth fill his heart, and every time somebody cried he felt tears threatening in the corners of his eyes. It was a remarkable ability, in truth. He could sense even the subtlest shifts in emotions, and he always knew the appropriate response
This sort of empathy had even allowed him to capture the heart of the one he most loved. No one could understand Romano like Spain could. The man lied fiercely about everything, and had done so ever since he was a child. It was a defense of sorts, Spain understood, but a weak one against Spain’s perception. He knew that Romano’s harsh words often meant the complete opposite of what he said, and he knew that when Romano tried to push him away, he needed Spain more than ever. He could tell Romano’s moods, needs, and intentions from a glance. The curve of his brow, the color of his cheek, the light in his eye, the tone of his voice… it was all Spain needed to understand him.
His skill was empowering. It was impressive.
It was tiring.
Maybe the first time he lied about how he felt had been a long time ago, with France. They were a scrawny pair, always getting picked on and beaten up by those bigger than them. One time France had appeared alone, all torn up and sniffling. It was enough to turn Spain’s stomach and make his eyes burn with tears. He wanted to cry as badly as France, but he realized that if he cried, too, they would have an entirely pathetic situation on their hands. So he helped his friend, and when France worriedly inquired as to Spain’s state, Spain put on a bright smile and assured France he was fine.
And the next time he lied to someone, he wondered if it were possible to lie to himself, too.
And the next time he claimed to be fine when he wasn’t, he almost believed it.
And so just as Romano shoved people away so that he didn’t get hurt, Spain put a silly smile on his face to protect himself.
As he sat through another tiring, depressing world meeting, Spain scribbled notes while keeping his expression bright, or what he hoped to be bright. Canada was sighing in defeat because no one would acknowledge him, Germany was tapping his finger in irritation because of the continued hindrance of progress, and America was talking too loudly in a poor attempt to hide his exhaustion. France was staring absently out the window, an air of loneliness about him, and England couldn’t stop rubbing his forehead in an attempt to dissipate his headache. Russia was slumping in his chair a bit, the beginning of a cold making itself known, and China looked preoccupied, probably running a thousand statistics through his head. Japan kept staring at Greece without realizing it, only to turn away with an embarrassed blush when Greece finally looked up from a coin he was rolling back and forth in front of him, the saddest look in his eyes. Italy had fallen asleep nearly ten minutes ago, and Romano…
Romano was studying Spain with half-lidded eyes, which was a look Spain knew well, except the little spark of heat was missing. And then Spain realized he didn’t know that look at all. In fact, now that he looked closer, he thought Romano was studying him with something akin to concern in his features. Realizing that his smile had dwindled down to almost nothing, Spain forced his lips upward again and winked to reassure Romano that everything was fine. The other liked to pretend he didn’t care, but Spain knew he worried. A lot.
A blush swept across Romano’s cheeks, and he scowled. It was the sort of scowl that promised Spain he wasn’t getting away with anything that easily, and Romano would confront him later on.
Later was quite later, in the evening. After the meeting, after lunch, after another meeting, after dinner, and after drinks. Spain was standing close to Romano, so close he could smell his cologne and the faint trace of alcohol lingering on his tongue. Neither were anywhere near drunk, Romano having had only one glass of wine, and Spain having only enough so that he could get away with leaning against Romano on the excuse that he was tipsy.
He was fumbling for his key when Romano grabbed his wrist and spun him around, gently, pushing him so that his back was to the door.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” Romano demanded, hovering near Spain’s lips as if debating whether or not to kiss them.
Kissing sounded wonderful, actually. A small part of Spain suddenly craved Romano’s affection, something to make his heart race, when its beat had been slow and dull and almost painful the entire day. He leaned forward, but Romano shoved his hand between them, blocking his attempt.
“Bastard, don’t avoid the question.”
“Mmnph avoimmning-“ Romano removed his hand, rolling his eyes. “I’m not avoiding the question,” Spain clarified. “There’s nothing wrong.” Just that they weren’t kissing.
“Liar,” Romano hissed. “You looked so fucking depressed at the meeting, I wanted to slit my wrists.”
Spain was sure he hadn’t been so obvious. Anyways, he needed to diffuse the situation with a cheeky comment. “Your concern is so touching!”
“Shut up. I’m being serious here.”
“And so am I.” Spain smiled and wrapped his arms around Romano’s neck. “Even I’m allowed to drop the smile once in awhile, right? It doesn’t mean anything. You’re too quick to assume the worst.”
Allowing himself to be pulled into Spain’s embrace, Romano muttered, “I wasn’t quick to assume anything. You didn’t look like yourself. You looked… tired, or something. Sad.”
Maybe Spain wasn’t the only one who could read the other well in their relationship. And now Romano was pouting.
“You’re lying to me, you jerk. Tell me what happened.”
“Nothing happened. Come on, Romano.” Spain slid his hands downward so that they were resting in the small of Romano’s back and pressed their bodies together. “Don’t you want to do something more interesting? Like making out, for example?”
“No, I want to discuss this.” He was so stubborn.
An uncharacteristically heavy sigh escaped Spain before he could stop it, and he rested his head against Romano’s shoulder. “Can’t we just forget about today?” he murmured into Romano’s shirt. “I’m so... tired of everything, of all these feelings, of all this sadness that I can only feel and not help… I just want to lose myself in a world that consists only of us, where the only thing I can feel is... is heat, and you, and-“
The rest of his sentence was cut short by a pair of lips gently sealing his shut. Romano’s kisses always seemed indecisive - like he wanted to devour Spain, but was hesitant to do so. But they were so incredible, warm and soft, and restrained just enough that Spain always found himself chasing after Romano, desperate to coax the teasing kisses to unleash their full potential. Soon their tongues met, sliding against one another, each asking the other for entrance. Spain yielded and allowed Romano to push his tongue into his mouth, to explore and rub against the sensitive roof, leaving the faint taste of wine and Spain feeling a bit dizzy.
When Romano pulled away, licking his lips, a heady blush had painted his cheeks. “I-“ he began, still hesitant and unsure. “I can help you forget.” Spain’s breath caught in his throat and he nodded, the beginning of a smile forming before Romano leaned forward and placed gentle kisses to the corners of his mouth. “You can’t do that, though,” Romano whispered. “I want…” Spain gazed at him, hoping his eyes carried the promise his voice couldn’t form. He would do anything Romano wanted. “I want,” Romano repeated with more conviction, “For you to show me everything that you’re feeling. Really feeling.”
How odd. Did Spain not always do that?
Spain laughed, but Romano silenced him with another kiss. “You’re not happy right now. Don’t pretend that you are, stupid.” It took a moment for Spain to remember the meeting and the adverse affect it had on his mood. It took another moment for a strange realization to dawn - he wasn’t sure whether or not he was happy. He hadn’t been, of course, but surely being with Romano had changed that? Since when could he not immediately gauge his mood? Had his lying become so persistent that he lied without thinking not only to those around him, but to himself, as well?
It was an uneasy thought, but Romano was studying him now, determining how to continue, and so Spain made a decision. “Tonight I want to focus on you, on everything I’m feeling in the moment.” Everything else could be forgotten. “And I’ll show you everything.” Slipping his hand into his pocket, Spain found his key with sudden ease, and he placed it into Romano’s hand with a heated look.
The action seemed to startle Romano, as if it were a sudden reminder that the two of them were in a very public hallway instead of the privacy of their room. He shot an uneasy glance around them before hurriedly swiping the key, failing to make it register, and cursing as he swiped it again.
This time the lock of the door clicked open, and Romano dragged Spain inside, wasting no time in leading them to the bed. He shoved Spain onto the mattress with little preamble and then crawled over top of him so he was straddling him. Spain’s heartbeat sped up as Romano raked his fingers through his hair, then dragged him forward into another kiss. His fiery personality always carried over into the bedroom, and it would be a blatant lie to say Spain didn’t love it.
The kiss was far more heated than before, less about comfort and more about getting Spain’s temperature to rise. There was more tongue, more passion, more everything. Romano shifted his body again so that he started to rub their chests together, and ground his hips down so he could create friction in Spain’s lap. A breathy sigh escaped Spain’s lips in between kisses and he dragged the fingernails of one hand down Romano’s back, wishing there were less clothes between them.
Romano nipped at his mouth in retaliation, and Spain flinched, digging his nails in further.
“I think you should get naked,” he suggested as Romano snatched his vengeful hand away and shoved it down to the mattress.
“Shut up. I’m doing this foreplay thing properly,” Romano replied. He moved his mouth down to Spain’s neck where he bit hard, forcing an eager moan from Spain’s throat. An instant later he was sucking on the area and licking it, probably in an attempt to leave a nice mark.
Spain was about to remind him that everyone would be able to see it, but his words caught in his throat when Romano sucked in a way that caused little sparks of electricity to race down his spine.
Romano switched to placing light kisses along his jaw, and Spain allowed his eyes to fall closed, shivering a bit under his lover’s mouth. His groin felt hot and in need of attention, but he couldn’t retrieve his one hand from beneath Romano’s, and he couldn’t maneuver the other one between their bodies. He raised his hips a bit to grind into Romano’s ass, but Romano smirked as he kissed and lifted himself to his knees, effectively ruining Spain’s attempts at contact.
Spain chuckled a bit, more irritated than amused. “You’re not very nice,” he informed Romano, stifling another gasp when Romano bit his earlobe, then licked behind his ear. Squealing was not something Spain made a habit of, but unfortunately, Romano always got that response by playing with his ears. He squirmed restlessly beneath the other, biting back every cry and flinching madly as Romano’s tongue traced his outer ear, flicked the lobe back and forth and thrust inside. He could only gain repose for a second before Romano attacked the other one, finally wrenching a stuttered plea - “S-stop! Stop! Ugh!”
Pulling away, Romano allowed Spain to fall backwards onto the bed and slam his hands onto either side of his head, rubbing his ears with the brightest of blushes. He observed the way Spain’s pants had tented with an obvious erection and smirked in satisfaction. His own cock was eagerly pressing the material of his pants outward, but he could ignore that.
“What are you feeling?” Romano asked suddenly.
Eyes flying open in disbelief, Spain choked, “Horny?” Romano actually grinned at that, and squeezed between Spain’s legs to reward the honest answer. The touch was blessed relief, and Spain thrust into his hand, wanting more.
“I think we can get naked now,” Romano said. “Starting with you.” He moved his hand from Spain’s crotch to his stomach, tickling lightly before reaching for the top button of his shirt. He always took care in undoing Spain’s buttons, much to Spain’s amused wonder. Romano was not well known for having a delicate touch. Then again, he always handled Spain carefully when it counted, so maybe that said something of what Romano valued. Spain didn’t realize the thought had made him blush until Romano said, “What’s with the stupid red face? Since when are you bashful?”
“Ah,” Spain replied ineloquently. “It’s nothing to do with that. It’s something else.” Romano frowned, but finished undoing his buttons and tapped Spain’s stomach to get him to sit up. Ever obedient to Romano’s wishes (except when he wanted to rile him up, which was… okay, it was all the time), Spain sat up again. Romano pinched one of his nipples through the undershirt he was wearing, and a jolt of pleasure raced straight to Spain’s cock.
Instead of removing the undershirt, Romano began playing with Spain’s chest through the cotton, pinching and rolling his nipples, and raking his fingernails against them. He glanced at Spain from underneath his lashes before leaning forward and taking his right nipple between his teeth, mouth and tongue wetting the shirt around it. The attempts seemed somewhat half-hearted, but still felt amazing.
“Romano,” Spain murmured, his fingers gliding through chestnut hair and pausing to tug on one lock of hair in particular. That hadn’t been a well thought-out plan, Spain realized, as Romano jerked back with a tiny gasp. Not while his nipple was still in Romano’s mouth.
“Bastard, don’t touch that!” Romano snapped. “And-“ he looked away in frustration, obviously bothered by more than Spain’s teasing gesture. “And stop…”
“Stop what?”
“You said you would show me everything you were feeling!”
Spain’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Haven’t I been?”
“No!” Romano wrestled with Spain’s undershirt, a scowl on his face, tearing it away from his body and throwing it somewhere across the room. He reached for the button of Spain’s pants, but Spain snatched up his wrist to stop him.
“I didn’t realize-“
“Of course you didn’t. You don’t even see how easily you dismiss things. Like telling me It’s something else, and just leaving it at that.”
Something so simple? “Ah...” Or maybe it wasn’t so simple. Maybe it was another dismissal among hundreds in an attempt to keep Romano from understanding. Spain sighed a bit and averted his eyes. “It’s not really what you think. I just thought… that you must care for me if you always treat me so gently.”
“…oh.” Spain looked towards Romano again and burst out laughing when he saw the flustered expression on the other’s face. He yanked Romano into another kiss, laughing as he pressed their lips together and feeling giddy at the lack of denial. After a moment, Romano struggled away, belatedly arguing, “I’m rough with you-“
“No, you’re not. Not really.” Spain pushed Romano backwards so that their positions were reversed and attacked his shirt, hastily unbuttoning and revealing succulent skin. He began following his movements with his mouth, sucking and licking down Romano’s chest and stomach, lingering over his navel to lay kisses around the rim and push his tongue inside. Romano gasped and tried to squirm away, but Spain held onto both sides of his shirt, trapping him in place.
He felt Romano’s erection bumping into his chin, and Spain decided dinner had not been as fulfilling as it could have been. Letting Romano’s shirt fall where it would, Spain moved his attention to his pants, sucking around the bulge, and forcing a delightful whine from Romano’s throat.
“Wait,” Romano gasped, trying to push him away.
Spain shook his head and undid the fastenings of Romano’s trousers, pulling them apart and working Romano’s cock through the opening in his boxers. He licked along the length before meeting Romano’s eyes and assuring him, “I want to.” He did. He loved sucking Romano’s cock, the feel, the taste, and he loved how much he could break down Romano’s composure when he did so. Romano bit his lip, obviously warring between what he wanted and what he thought Spain wanted, even though they were really the same thing. Spain leaned forward and began to suck on the head of Romano’s cock, sliding down and up a bit when he had relaxed his mouth and throat.
The soft gasps he heard above him were the best kind of encouragement, and Spain began to suck and lick with more vigor, stroking with his hands where his mouth couldn’t reach. His own pants had become rather constricting, and he shifted his hips uncomfortably, wishing he could take them off without removing Romano’s cock from his tongue.
“H-hey,” Romano said, tangling his fingers in Spain’s hair as he worked. Spain sucked him in deeply, and Romano gave a strangled moan, panting a bit before saying, “T-tell me what you’re feeling…”
Spain smiled - a difficult feat around a mouthful of cock - and began to answer. Humming was more like it, actually, and he received a very enthusiastic response from Romano, despite his deliberate disobedience. He finally pulled away and flicked his tongue around the tip of Romano’s cock, savoring the last bits of his taste, before saying, “I’m feeling like I need more.”
Romano hastily replied, “I can do that.” He fumbled with his pants and boxers, pulling them over his cock, stiff and glistening from Spain’s saliva, and off of his body. Spain rushed to undo the buttons of his own pants, noting with minor dismay and embarrassment that his cock had left a nice and visible wet patch from his excitement. Romano’s hands were over his in an instant, eager to help, but rather hindering the process.
Fingers tangled together and confused the zipper and buttons until Spain started laughing again and wrapped his arms around Romano, burying his face into his neck to laugh, while Romano huffed and got things sorted out. He could imagine the reluctant smile on Romano’s face and felt the sudden urge to tease him, when out of nowhere his legs were yanked from underneath him and Romano fell heavily on top of him.
“Fucking hell!” Romano cried, and finally he rolled away and jerked Spain’s pants from his body so roughly, they dragged him with them a bit before releasing him and flying across the room.
Spain couldn’t stop laughing then and choked out, “I was wrong! You aren’t gentle with me at all! You’re absolutely brutal!”
Romano growled, and reached over to the stand beside the bed, where a bottle of lotion sat. “I’ll show you brutal!” he snapped, grabbing the bottle and positioning himself between Spain’s legs. There was a beat of silence and then, “W-well, not brutal, exactly…”
Eyes shining, Spain said, “I know.” His smile grew even wider at Romano’s blush and how his concern could outmatch even his infamous temper. The thought couldn’t be dwelt upon for long, though, because soon Romano was covering his fingers in lotion and pressing one between Spain’s legs, rubbing at his entrance to prepare him for the intrusion.
After a moment, though, Romano took his finger away and said quietly, “Actually, I want you to turn over.”
“Okay,” Spain blinked. He shifted himself to his stomach and allowed Romano to pull his hips upwards, so that his knees and arms supported him. He could only ponder for a moment what Romano planned to do before he felt something soft, wet, and most definitely not a finger at his entrance. A chill ran through his entire body before he gasped and clenched onto the sheets beneath him, Romano spreading the cheeks of his ass apart as he probed Spain’s entrance with his tongue.
Romano possessed the most wicked mouth, Spain decided as he ground his teeth together, face flaming. His tongue wriggled around inside of him, pulling out and thrusting in, loosening him and making his thighs tremble. It was hot and wet, and making Spain’s cock throb and his ass open greedily for more. Romano’s fingers dug into Spain’s flesh, kneading his ass as he worked his mouth between the cheeks. Spain could feel saliva dripping down from his hole, trickling along the length of skin that led to his balls, and he could just imagine the wet mess Romano’s face was.
After twenty seconds of silent, spine-tingling torture, Spain broke and dropped his head, moaning. He thrust backwards into Romano’s mouth, encouraging him, “More, more, so good, Romano!”
Romano thrust his tongue in as far as it would go, caressing Spain from inside until Spain was panting and sweating and turning his fingers white from how hard he was grasping the poor bed linens beneath him.
When Romano finally pulled away and wiped his mouth, he asked, “How are you-“
“Desperate!” Spain cried in response, thrusting his ass out and praying Romano would get his cock in him soon. “Ready! Please, Romano, that was too much!”
Sounding a bit startled, but rather pleased, Romano said, “I haven’t really stretched you properly yet.”
“It’s alright,” Spain moaned. “You don’t need to, I promise. Please, this is what I really want.”
There was only a brief instant of hesitance before Romano snatched up the lotion again and slathered it along the length of his cock. He grabbed Spain’s hips to steady him and pressed the head of his cock to Spain’s hole before saying, “If it hurts-“
“I’ll tell you,” Spain promised. He swallowed hard, waiting for Romano to fill him, and-ah! There it was! Gritting his teeth, Spain bore the initial pain of being entered, but when Romano came to a halt and rested his hand on Spain’s back, he knew that the other could sense his tension. “It hurts,” Spain finally admitted, ashamed. He drew in a shaky breath, and continued, “But don’t stop. It won’t hurt for long. Please keep going.”
“I told you-“
“I know. I-I’m trying to be honest. It’s not pretending to be okay when I’m not. P-please move.”
After what Spain assumed was a raging inner debate, he felt Romano begin a slow and gentle tempo, rubbing Spain’s back and then kneading his ass again to encourage him to relax. After a few thrusts, Spain had regained control over his breathing and began to move his hips with Romano’s. After maintaining the same gentle pace for awhile, Romano whispered, “Tell me…”
He was going to play this silly game to the end. It was alright, Spain supposed. He didn’t mind sharing his honest feelings, not if it was with Romano. “I’m feeling loved,” Spain said, letting his suddenly moist eyes fall shut. Romano lost his rhythm for a moment, but then picked up his pace and started moving a little quicker. He was silent, but Spain could picture his expression, the passion in his eyes.
After a few more moments the pain had nearly passed, and Spain started to get hotter. Romano’s cock thrust inside of him, large and hot, and caressing everything just right. They were moving faster, creating amazing friction, and Spain’s cock was dripping with precum and bobbing with their movements. When Romano struck his prostate, once, twice, three times in a row, Spain’s arms grew weak and began to shake underneath his weight.
He remembered belatedly his promise, and started to moan out encouragements and praises, tried to tell Romano exactly what he was making him feel. “It’s so good, Romano,” Spain panted. “You - ah! - r-right there, you got - ah - you keep, nnggh. K-keep going. Harder. You can thrust h-harder. Oh, oh. I feel so close, like I’m g-going to, to! You’re s-so amazing. Could you, please, touch-“
A hand that felt like fire closed around Spain’s cock, and he threw back his head and cried out as Romano pumped him mercilessly, his thrusts growing messy and uncoordinated, just managing to strike Spain’s prostate one more time to push him over the edge. Spain shook through his orgasm, falling down to rest his head in his arms as his cock squirted out stream after stream of cum. He felt Romano continue to pound into him until he suddenly tensed and a moment later withdrew, allowing Spain to collapse to the bed and stretch out his body.
They both panted quietly before Spain turned to face his flushed and sweating lover. “What are you feeling?” he teased.
Romano glared at him before looking away and shrugging. “That depends on what you’re feeling,” he responded, a little embarrassed.
Considering that response for a moment, Spain replied, “I… I don’t know, really. Well, incredibly satisfied, for one.” He grinned as Romano tried and failed to hide his proud smirk. “And I feel tired, but like I was genuinely happy for the first time today. And lucky, I guess. To have you. Thanks, Romano.”
“For the sex?”
Spain closed his eyes, finding the words more difficult to say than they should have been. “For just letting me feel.” He could sense Romano’s confusion without even looking at him. “Sometimes I get so caught up in everyone else, I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore.”
Taking advantage of not being seen, Romano admitted, “You know, I… I always liked, um. I always thought you had… Er, that is...” Spain cracked one eye open to see Romano staring unwaveringly at the ceiling, cheeks bright red. “I always liked your smile,” he choked in a rush, immediately inspiring another on Spain’s face. “But sometimes I think maybe it’s not good for you to do that. Like, saying you’re happy when you’re not. Because then you’re not being honest with your feelings, and fucking hell, you always give me shit for that, you hypocritical bastard!”
It really wasn’t fair. They did essentially the same thing, and not only did Romano get scolded, but Spain could sense his feelings anyways, while Romano still struggled to read Spain. “I’m sorry,” Spain said quietly. “It’s not something I even think about really. Just like you don’t think much before saying the things you do.”
Romano snorted. “Maybe this is why we’re together.”
“Maybe,” Spain agreed with a smile. “Or maybe it’s because we love each other.”
“Maybe, but I doubt it,” Romano grinned. Spain smacked him with a pillow.
“I love you,” Spain said. “That’s how I really feel.”
“Damn it.” Romano wrinkled his nose in pretend dislike, but Spain read something else in his eyes. “I love you, too.”
*~*~*
Author: sapphiiremoon
Recipient: kirin-saga
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Romano/Spain, slight Greece/Japan, brief mentions of other nations
Word Count: 4,699
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Graphic sex and language
Summary: Spain can feel others’ emotions as easily as if they were his own, but it’s less of a gift and more of curse. Romano just wants him to stop smiling as if everything is okay when it isn’t. Tonight, it’s about feeling in a different way.
Note to Recipient: I think this ended up being more smut than plot, damn it >.> But I really loved the prompt, and this gave me an opportunity to try out writing Seme!Romano!. So, I hope this is okay, kirin-saga . Merry Christmas~!
It wasn’t that Spain’s smile never slipped. It just happened so seldom, people forgot that his grin wasn’t permanently fixated to his face. Spain was fine with everyone believing him to possess an eternal cheerfulness. He had almost convinced himself of the fact, actually.
He was also content with the other nations believing him to be painfully oblivious. It was easier to pretend that his happiness never wavered if he also pretended not to notice the things that could affect it.
He couldn’t remember when it had first come to his attention. He couldn’t recall a single moment when he realized his empathy for others went far beyond the norm. As far back as he could remember, every time somebody smiled he felt warmth fill his heart, and every time somebody cried he felt tears threatening in the corners of his eyes. It was a remarkable ability, in truth. He could sense even the subtlest shifts in emotions, and he always knew the appropriate response
This sort of empathy had even allowed him to capture the heart of the one he most loved. No one could understand Romano like Spain could. The man lied fiercely about everything, and had done so ever since he was a child. It was a defense of sorts, Spain understood, but a weak one against Spain’s perception. He knew that Romano’s harsh words often meant the complete opposite of what he said, and he knew that when Romano tried to push him away, he needed Spain more than ever. He could tell Romano’s moods, needs, and intentions from a glance. The curve of his brow, the color of his cheek, the light in his eye, the tone of his voice… it was all Spain needed to understand him.
His skill was empowering. It was impressive.
It was tiring.
Maybe the first time he lied about how he felt had been a long time ago, with France. They were a scrawny pair, always getting picked on and beaten up by those bigger than them. One time France had appeared alone, all torn up and sniffling. It was enough to turn Spain’s stomach and make his eyes burn with tears. He wanted to cry as badly as France, but he realized that if he cried, too, they would have an entirely pathetic situation on their hands. So he helped his friend, and when France worriedly inquired as to Spain’s state, Spain put on a bright smile and assured France he was fine.
And the next time he lied to someone, he wondered if it were possible to lie to himself, too.
And the next time he claimed to be fine when he wasn’t, he almost believed it.
And so just as Romano shoved people away so that he didn’t get hurt, Spain put a silly smile on his face to protect himself.
As he sat through another tiring, depressing world meeting, Spain scribbled notes while keeping his expression bright, or what he hoped to be bright. Canada was sighing in defeat because no one would acknowledge him, Germany was tapping his finger in irritation because of the continued hindrance of progress, and America was talking too loudly in a poor attempt to hide his exhaustion. France was staring absently out the window, an air of loneliness about him, and England couldn’t stop rubbing his forehead in an attempt to dissipate his headache. Russia was slumping in his chair a bit, the beginning of a cold making itself known, and China looked preoccupied, probably running a thousand statistics through his head. Japan kept staring at Greece without realizing it, only to turn away with an embarrassed blush when Greece finally looked up from a coin he was rolling back and forth in front of him, the saddest look in his eyes. Italy had fallen asleep nearly ten minutes ago, and Romano…
Romano was studying Spain with half-lidded eyes, which was a look Spain knew well, except the little spark of heat was missing. And then Spain realized he didn’t know that look at all. In fact, now that he looked closer, he thought Romano was studying him with something akin to concern in his features. Realizing that his smile had dwindled down to almost nothing, Spain forced his lips upward again and winked to reassure Romano that everything was fine. The other liked to pretend he didn’t care, but Spain knew he worried. A lot.
A blush swept across Romano’s cheeks, and he scowled. It was the sort of scowl that promised Spain he wasn’t getting away with anything that easily, and Romano would confront him later on.
Later was quite later, in the evening. After the meeting, after lunch, after another meeting, after dinner, and after drinks. Spain was standing close to Romano, so close he could smell his cologne and the faint trace of alcohol lingering on his tongue. Neither were anywhere near drunk, Romano having had only one glass of wine, and Spain having only enough so that he could get away with leaning against Romano on the excuse that he was tipsy.
He was fumbling for his key when Romano grabbed his wrist and spun him around, gently, pushing him so that his back was to the door.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” Romano demanded, hovering near Spain’s lips as if debating whether or not to kiss them.
Kissing sounded wonderful, actually. A small part of Spain suddenly craved Romano’s affection, something to make his heart race, when its beat had been slow and dull and almost painful the entire day. He leaned forward, but Romano shoved his hand between them, blocking his attempt.
“Bastard, don’t avoid the question.”
“Mmnph avoimmning-“ Romano removed his hand, rolling his eyes. “I’m not avoiding the question,” Spain clarified. “There’s nothing wrong.” Just that they weren’t kissing.
“Liar,” Romano hissed. “You looked so fucking depressed at the meeting, I wanted to slit my wrists.”
Spain was sure he hadn’t been so obvious. Anyways, he needed to diffuse the situation with a cheeky comment. “Your concern is so touching!”
“Shut up. I’m being serious here.”
“And so am I.” Spain smiled and wrapped his arms around Romano’s neck. “Even I’m allowed to drop the smile once in awhile, right? It doesn’t mean anything. You’re too quick to assume the worst.”
Allowing himself to be pulled into Spain’s embrace, Romano muttered, “I wasn’t quick to assume anything. You didn’t look like yourself. You looked… tired, or something. Sad.”
Maybe Spain wasn’t the only one who could read the other well in their relationship. And now Romano was pouting.
“You’re lying to me, you jerk. Tell me what happened.”
“Nothing happened. Come on, Romano.” Spain slid his hands downward so that they were resting in the small of Romano’s back and pressed their bodies together. “Don’t you want to do something more interesting? Like making out, for example?”
“No, I want to discuss this.” He was so stubborn.
An uncharacteristically heavy sigh escaped Spain before he could stop it, and he rested his head against Romano’s shoulder. “Can’t we just forget about today?” he murmured into Romano’s shirt. “I’m so... tired of everything, of all these feelings, of all this sadness that I can only feel and not help… I just want to lose myself in a world that consists only of us, where the only thing I can feel is... is heat, and you, and-“
The rest of his sentence was cut short by a pair of lips gently sealing his shut. Romano’s kisses always seemed indecisive - like he wanted to devour Spain, but was hesitant to do so. But they were so incredible, warm and soft, and restrained just enough that Spain always found himself chasing after Romano, desperate to coax the teasing kisses to unleash their full potential. Soon their tongues met, sliding against one another, each asking the other for entrance. Spain yielded and allowed Romano to push his tongue into his mouth, to explore and rub against the sensitive roof, leaving the faint taste of wine and Spain feeling a bit dizzy.
When Romano pulled away, licking his lips, a heady blush had painted his cheeks. “I-“ he began, still hesitant and unsure. “I can help you forget.” Spain’s breath caught in his throat and he nodded, the beginning of a smile forming before Romano leaned forward and placed gentle kisses to the corners of his mouth. “You can’t do that, though,” Romano whispered. “I want…” Spain gazed at him, hoping his eyes carried the promise his voice couldn’t form. He would do anything Romano wanted. “I want,” Romano repeated with more conviction, “For you to show me everything that you’re feeling. Really feeling.”
How odd. Did Spain not always do that?
Spain laughed, but Romano silenced him with another kiss. “You’re not happy right now. Don’t pretend that you are, stupid.” It took a moment for Spain to remember the meeting and the adverse affect it had on his mood. It took another moment for a strange realization to dawn - he wasn’t sure whether or not he was happy. He hadn’t been, of course, but surely being with Romano had changed that? Since when could he not immediately gauge his mood? Had his lying become so persistent that he lied without thinking not only to those around him, but to himself, as well?
It was an uneasy thought, but Romano was studying him now, determining how to continue, and so Spain made a decision. “Tonight I want to focus on you, on everything I’m feeling in the moment.” Everything else could be forgotten. “And I’ll show you everything.” Slipping his hand into his pocket, Spain found his key with sudden ease, and he placed it into Romano’s hand with a heated look.
The action seemed to startle Romano, as if it were a sudden reminder that the two of them were in a very public hallway instead of the privacy of their room. He shot an uneasy glance around them before hurriedly swiping the key, failing to make it register, and cursing as he swiped it again.
This time the lock of the door clicked open, and Romano dragged Spain inside, wasting no time in leading them to the bed. He shoved Spain onto the mattress with little preamble and then crawled over top of him so he was straddling him. Spain’s heartbeat sped up as Romano raked his fingers through his hair, then dragged him forward into another kiss. His fiery personality always carried over into the bedroom, and it would be a blatant lie to say Spain didn’t love it.
The kiss was far more heated than before, less about comfort and more about getting Spain’s temperature to rise. There was more tongue, more passion, more everything. Romano shifted his body again so that he started to rub their chests together, and ground his hips down so he could create friction in Spain’s lap. A breathy sigh escaped Spain’s lips in between kisses and he dragged the fingernails of one hand down Romano’s back, wishing there were less clothes between them.
Romano nipped at his mouth in retaliation, and Spain flinched, digging his nails in further.
“I think you should get naked,” he suggested as Romano snatched his vengeful hand away and shoved it down to the mattress.
“Shut up. I’m doing this foreplay thing properly,” Romano replied. He moved his mouth down to Spain’s neck where he bit hard, forcing an eager moan from Spain’s throat. An instant later he was sucking on the area and licking it, probably in an attempt to leave a nice mark.
Spain was about to remind him that everyone would be able to see it, but his words caught in his throat when Romano sucked in a way that caused little sparks of electricity to race down his spine.
Romano switched to placing light kisses along his jaw, and Spain allowed his eyes to fall closed, shivering a bit under his lover’s mouth. His groin felt hot and in need of attention, but he couldn’t retrieve his one hand from beneath Romano’s, and he couldn’t maneuver the other one between their bodies. He raised his hips a bit to grind into Romano’s ass, but Romano smirked as he kissed and lifted himself to his knees, effectively ruining Spain’s attempts at contact.
Spain chuckled a bit, more irritated than amused. “You’re not very nice,” he informed Romano, stifling another gasp when Romano bit his earlobe, then licked behind his ear. Squealing was not something Spain made a habit of, but unfortunately, Romano always got that response by playing with his ears. He squirmed restlessly beneath the other, biting back every cry and flinching madly as Romano’s tongue traced his outer ear, flicked the lobe back and forth and thrust inside. He could only gain repose for a second before Romano attacked the other one, finally wrenching a stuttered plea - “S-stop! Stop! Ugh!”
Pulling away, Romano allowed Spain to fall backwards onto the bed and slam his hands onto either side of his head, rubbing his ears with the brightest of blushes. He observed the way Spain’s pants had tented with an obvious erection and smirked in satisfaction. His own cock was eagerly pressing the material of his pants outward, but he could ignore that.
“What are you feeling?” Romano asked suddenly.
Eyes flying open in disbelief, Spain choked, “Horny?” Romano actually grinned at that, and squeezed between Spain’s legs to reward the honest answer. The touch was blessed relief, and Spain thrust into his hand, wanting more.
“I think we can get naked now,” Romano said. “Starting with you.” He moved his hand from Spain’s crotch to his stomach, tickling lightly before reaching for the top button of his shirt. He always took care in undoing Spain’s buttons, much to Spain’s amused wonder. Romano was not well known for having a delicate touch. Then again, he always handled Spain carefully when it counted, so maybe that said something of what Romano valued. Spain didn’t realize the thought had made him blush until Romano said, “What’s with the stupid red face? Since when are you bashful?”
“Ah,” Spain replied ineloquently. “It’s nothing to do with that. It’s something else.” Romano frowned, but finished undoing his buttons and tapped Spain’s stomach to get him to sit up. Ever obedient to Romano’s wishes (except when he wanted to rile him up, which was… okay, it was all the time), Spain sat up again. Romano pinched one of his nipples through the undershirt he was wearing, and a jolt of pleasure raced straight to Spain’s cock.
Instead of removing the undershirt, Romano began playing with Spain’s chest through the cotton, pinching and rolling his nipples, and raking his fingernails against them. He glanced at Spain from underneath his lashes before leaning forward and taking his right nipple between his teeth, mouth and tongue wetting the shirt around it. The attempts seemed somewhat half-hearted, but still felt amazing.
“Romano,” Spain murmured, his fingers gliding through chestnut hair and pausing to tug on one lock of hair in particular. That hadn’t been a well thought-out plan, Spain realized, as Romano jerked back with a tiny gasp. Not while his nipple was still in Romano’s mouth.
“Bastard, don’t touch that!” Romano snapped. “And-“ he looked away in frustration, obviously bothered by more than Spain’s teasing gesture. “And stop…”
“Stop what?”
“You said you would show me everything you were feeling!”
Spain’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Haven’t I been?”
“No!” Romano wrestled with Spain’s undershirt, a scowl on his face, tearing it away from his body and throwing it somewhere across the room. He reached for the button of Spain’s pants, but Spain snatched up his wrist to stop him.
“I didn’t realize-“
“Of course you didn’t. You don’t even see how easily you dismiss things. Like telling me It’s something else, and just leaving it at that.”
Something so simple? “Ah...” Or maybe it wasn’t so simple. Maybe it was another dismissal among hundreds in an attempt to keep Romano from understanding. Spain sighed a bit and averted his eyes. “It’s not really what you think. I just thought… that you must care for me if you always treat me so gently.”
“…oh.” Spain looked towards Romano again and burst out laughing when he saw the flustered expression on the other’s face. He yanked Romano into another kiss, laughing as he pressed their lips together and feeling giddy at the lack of denial. After a moment, Romano struggled away, belatedly arguing, “I’m rough with you-“
“No, you’re not. Not really.” Spain pushed Romano backwards so that their positions were reversed and attacked his shirt, hastily unbuttoning and revealing succulent skin. He began following his movements with his mouth, sucking and licking down Romano’s chest and stomach, lingering over his navel to lay kisses around the rim and push his tongue inside. Romano gasped and tried to squirm away, but Spain held onto both sides of his shirt, trapping him in place.
He felt Romano’s erection bumping into his chin, and Spain decided dinner had not been as fulfilling as it could have been. Letting Romano’s shirt fall where it would, Spain moved his attention to his pants, sucking around the bulge, and forcing a delightful whine from Romano’s throat.
“Wait,” Romano gasped, trying to push him away.
Spain shook his head and undid the fastenings of Romano’s trousers, pulling them apart and working Romano’s cock through the opening in his boxers. He licked along the length before meeting Romano’s eyes and assuring him, “I want to.” He did. He loved sucking Romano’s cock, the feel, the taste, and he loved how much he could break down Romano’s composure when he did so. Romano bit his lip, obviously warring between what he wanted and what he thought Spain wanted, even though they were really the same thing. Spain leaned forward and began to suck on the head of Romano’s cock, sliding down and up a bit when he had relaxed his mouth and throat.
The soft gasps he heard above him were the best kind of encouragement, and Spain began to suck and lick with more vigor, stroking with his hands where his mouth couldn’t reach. His own pants had become rather constricting, and he shifted his hips uncomfortably, wishing he could take them off without removing Romano’s cock from his tongue.
“H-hey,” Romano said, tangling his fingers in Spain’s hair as he worked. Spain sucked him in deeply, and Romano gave a strangled moan, panting a bit before saying, “T-tell me what you’re feeling…”
Spain smiled - a difficult feat around a mouthful of cock - and began to answer. Humming was more like it, actually, and he received a very enthusiastic response from Romano, despite his deliberate disobedience. He finally pulled away and flicked his tongue around the tip of Romano’s cock, savoring the last bits of his taste, before saying, “I’m feeling like I need more.”
Romano hastily replied, “I can do that.” He fumbled with his pants and boxers, pulling them over his cock, stiff and glistening from Spain’s saliva, and off of his body. Spain rushed to undo the buttons of his own pants, noting with minor dismay and embarrassment that his cock had left a nice and visible wet patch from his excitement. Romano’s hands were over his in an instant, eager to help, but rather hindering the process.
Fingers tangled together and confused the zipper and buttons until Spain started laughing again and wrapped his arms around Romano, burying his face into his neck to laugh, while Romano huffed and got things sorted out. He could imagine the reluctant smile on Romano’s face and felt the sudden urge to tease him, when out of nowhere his legs were yanked from underneath him and Romano fell heavily on top of him.
“Fucking hell!” Romano cried, and finally he rolled away and jerked Spain’s pants from his body so roughly, they dragged him with them a bit before releasing him and flying across the room.
Spain couldn’t stop laughing then and choked out, “I was wrong! You aren’t gentle with me at all! You’re absolutely brutal!”
Romano growled, and reached over to the stand beside the bed, where a bottle of lotion sat. “I’ll show you brutal!” he snapped, grabbing the bottle and positioning himself between Spain’s legs. There was a beat of silence and then, “W-well, not brutal, exactly…”
Eyes shining, Spain said, “I know.” His smile grew even wider at Romano’s blush and how his concern could outmatch even his infamous temper. The thought couldn’t be dwelt upon for long, though, because soon Romano was covering his fingers in lotion and pressing one between Spain’s legs, rubbing at his entrance to prepare him for the intrusion.
After a moment, though, Romano took his finger away and said quietly, “Actually, I want you to turn over.”
“Okay,” Spain blinked. He shifted himself to his stomach and allowed Romano to pull his hips upwards, so that his knees and arms supported him. He could only ponder for a moment what Romano planned to do before he felt something soft, wet, and most definitely not a finger at his entrance. A chill ran through his entire body before he gasped and clenched onto the sheets beneath him, Romano spreading the cheeks of his ass apart as he probed Spain’s entrance with his tongue.
Romano possessed the most wicked mouth, Spain decided as he ground his teeth together, face flaming. His tongue wriggled around inside of him, pulling out and thrusting in, loosening him and making his thighs tremble. It was hot and wet, and making Spain’s cock throb and his ass open greedily for more. Romano’s fingers dug into Spain’s flesh, kneading his ass as he worked his mouth between the cheeks. Spain could feel saliva dripping down from his hole, trickling along the length of skin that led to his balls, and he could just imagine the wet mess Romano’s face was.
After twenty seconds of silent, spine-tingling torture, Spain broke and dropped his head, moaning. He thrust backwards into Romano’s mouth, encouraging him, “More, more, so good, Romano!”
Romano thrust his tongue in as far as it would go, caressing Spain from inside until Spain was panting and sweating and turning his fingers white from how hard he was grasping the poor bed linens beneath him.
When Romano finally pulled away and wiped his mouth, he asked, “How are you-“
“Desperate!” Spain cried in response, thrusting his ass out and praying Romano would get his cock in him soon. “Ready! Please, Romano, that was too much!”
Sounding a bit startled, but rather pleased, Romano said, “I haven’t really stretched you properly yet.”
“It’s alright,” Spain moaned. “You don’t need to, I promise. Please, this is what I really want.”
There was only a brief instant of hesitance before Romano snatched up the lotion again and slathered it along the length of his cock. He grabbed Spain’s hips to steady him and pressed the head of his cock to Spain’s hole before saying, “If it hurts-“
“I’ll tell you,” Spain promised. He swallowed hard, waiting for Romano to fill him, and-ah! There it was! Gritting his teeth, Spain bore the initial pain of being entered, but when Romano came to a halt and rested his hand on Spain’s back, he knew that the other could sense his tension. “It hurts,” Spain finally admitted, ashamed. He drew in a shaky breath, and continued, “But don’t stop. It won’t hurt for long. Please keep going.”
“I told you-“
“I know. I-I’m trying to be honest. It’s not pretending to be okay when I’m not. P-please move.”
After what Spain assumed was a raging inner debate, he felt Romano begin a slow and gentle tempo, rubbing Spain’s back and then kneading his ass again to encourage him to relax. After a few thrusts, Spain had regained control over his breathing and began to move his hips with Romano’s. After maintaining the same gentle pace for awhile, Romano whispered, “Tell me…”
He was going to play this silly game to the end. It was alright, Spain supposed. He didn’t mind sharing his honest feelings, not if it was with Romano. “I’m feeling loved,” Spain said, letting his suddenly moist eyes fall shut. Romano lost his rhythm for a moment, but then picked up his pace and started moving a little quicker. He was silent, but Spain could picture his expression, the passion in his eyes.
After a few more moments the pain had nearly passed, and Spain started to get hotter. Romano’s cock thrust inside of him, large and hot, and caressing everything just right. They were moving faster, creating amazing friction, and Spain’s cock was dripping with precum and bobbing with their movements. When Romano struck his prostate, once, twice, three times in a row, Spain’s arms grew weak and began to shake underneath his weight.
He remembered belatedly his promise, and started to moan out encouragements and praises, tried to tell Romano exactly what he was making him feel. “It’s so good, Romano,” Spain panted. “You - ah! - r-right there, you got - ah - you keep, nnggh. K-keep going. Harder. You can thrust h-harder. Oh, oh. I feel so close, like I’m g-going to, to! You’re s-so amazing. Could you, please, touch-“
A hand that felt like fire closed around Spain’s cock, and he threw back his head and cried out as Romano pumped him mercilessly, his thrusts growing messy and uncoordinated, just managing to strike Spain’s prostate one more time to push him over the edge. Spain shook through his orgasm, falling down to rest his head in his arms as his cock squirted out stream after stream of cum. He felt Romano continue to pound into him until he suddenly tensed and a moment later withdrew, allowing Spain to collapse to the bed and stretch out his body.
They both panted quietly before Spain turned to face his flushed and sweating lover. “What are you feeling?” he teased.
Romano glared at him before looking away and shrugging. “That depends on what you’re feeling,” he responded, a little embarrassed.
Considering that response for a moment, Spain replied, “I… I don’t know, really. Well, incredibly satisfied, for one.” He grinned as Romano tried and failed to hide his proud smirk. “And I feel tired, but like I was genuinely happy for the first time today. And lucky, I guess. To have you. Thanks, Romano.”
“For the sex?”
Spain closed his eyes, finding the words more difficult to say than they should have been. “For just letting me feel.” He could sense Romano’s confusion without even looking at him. “Sometimes I get so caught up in everyone else, I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore.”
Taking advantage of not being seen, Romano admitted, “You know, I… I always liked, um. I always thought you had… Er, that is...” Spain cracked one eye open to see Romano staring unwaveringly at the ceiling, cheeks bright red. “I always liked your smile,” he choked in a rush, immediately inspiring another on Spain’s face. “But sometimes I think maybe it’s not good for you to do that. Like, saying you’re happy when you’re not. Because then you’re not being honest with your feelings, and fucking hell, you always give me shit for that, you hypocritical bastard!”
It really wasn’t fair. They did essentially the same thing, and not only did Romano get scolded, but Spain could sense his feelings anyways, while Romano still struggled to read Spain. “I’m sorry,” Spain said quietly. “It’s not something I even think about really. Just like you don’t think much before saying the things you do.”
Romano snorted. “Maybe this is why we’re together.”
“Maybe,” Spain agreed with a smile. “Or maybe it’s because we love each other.”
“Maybe, but I doubt it,” Romano grinned. Spain smacked him with a pillow.
“I love you,” Spain said. “That’s how I really feel.”
“Damn it.” Romano wrinkled his nose in pretend dislike, but Spain read something else in his eyes. “I love you, too.”
*~*~*