I have no excuse for this
There are many reasons why my brain is a scary, scary place...
But this just might be the scariest thing to ever come out of my brain.
Crossover Glee/Doctor Who. Possible spoilers through all aired episodes of both shows.
Brittany-centric. Appearances by other canon Glee characters. Takes place in a hypothetical Season three. Crack. So much crack. ~1300 words. I can't even. *facepalm*
Brittany waltzed into Glee practice late one Monday afternoon. Her blond hair bouncing behind her, eyes sparkling, she kissed first Artie, then Santana, before taking the empty seat next to Kurt. She linked her fingers with his, and grinned at Mr. Shue who had been about to wax poetic about this week's Journey assignment.
"Brittany, you're late," Mr Shue said, frowning at her. His vest was particularly distracting today, so it took Brittany a second to answer.
"I was with The Doctor," she explained. "We had to save McKinley from the rainbow Daleks. Apparently they thought our slushy machine was a source of power for their spaceship."
It was a testament to the number of times Brittany had come up with crazy stories that no one in Glee club even batted an eye. Even the new girl, Amanda, who had only been in Glee for a day, knew it's just par for the course with Brittany S. Pierce.
"Uh, that's great Brittany. But next time, could you try to be on-time? We're counting on you to choreograph our Sectionals number for the Journey medley! Now, where was I..." Mr. Schue sounded equal parts bemused and annoyed, and ignored the collective groan from the kids at the mention of Journey.
He went on for a few more minutes, eagerly outlining his plan of attack for Sectionals. After being denied his Journey medley at last year's Sectionals, he wasn't going to miss out again. Everyone enjoyed a little journey, right?!
"But Mr. Schue!" Brittany had apparently just been waiting for a break in Mr. Schue's weekly monologue to continue her story. "I wasn't done! Don't you want to hear about how the Doctor and I traveled through time and space, and went to a concert in the 65th century. I think you'd find it really interesting! I got some real good ideas! They still love Journey then."
Mr. Schue suddenly looked a lot more intrigued. The idea that more than four thousand years in the future, people still worshiped the greatness that was Journey was very appealing. Even if Brittany was probably under the influence of illegal drugs. Maybe he should call her parents...
"Right. That sounds interesting Brittany. Why don't you and Mike start working on those ideas then. Rachel, Finn, I'd like you to sing lead on this first song..."
Just then, Mr. Schue is interrupted by a sort of whirr whirr creeeeeeeeech sound, and everyone gaped in amazement as a blue police box materialized in front of the group. Brittany squealed, and jumped up from her seat to run over, dragging Kurt with her as she hadn't let go of his hand. The door to the Police Box popped open, and a tall, thin man with floppy hair and a bow-tie stuck his head out. He looked around for a second, then his eyes lighted on Brittany. They ran towards each other, embraced, and then flailed around in a circle for a few minutes, laughing.
"Ah, there you are! I thought I'd misplaced you." There was a faint female screech from inside the box, and the man disappeared back into the box for a minute. They could hear him saying, "Yes, yes, very sorry about that Amy. I didn't mean to leave you and Rory on Planet XX for a week. Yes, yes, I understand that you and Rory have limits. Now, now, stop that pouting and come and meet Brittany. She's brilliant."
Brittany, who had been bouncing with more glee, clapped in excitement as the man stepped out, this time followed by a pretty red-head (who must be Amy) and another tall man with a beaky nose. Kurt had finally rescued his hand from Brittany's grip, gave them all a once-over. Finally, he nodded. "Fantastic bow-tie. Is it a McQueen?"
The man, was he The Doctor?, beamed, and sent a superior look towards Amy. "See, Amy, some people have a proper respect for the traditional bow-tie. Tell me, what's your opinion on Fez's?"
"Okay, now hold up here!" Everyone looked over at Mercedes, who was standing with her hands on her hips. "Someone explain this to me! Did Mr. Schue's crazy ex spike the water fountain with more of that Vitamin D stuff?"
"Oh, pardon me. How rude, I've neglected to introduce myself. I'm The Doctor." He said it with a sort of finality, as if everyone was supposed to just know who he was. "And these are my companions, Amy and her husband Rory. And this," Here he paused, and stroked a hand over the blue wood lovingly. "Is the TARDIS."
"That stands for Time And Relative Dimension(s) In Space," Brittany chimed in helpfully.
"Oh my god." This was from Sam, who had been staring at the goings-on in some sort of geek-wonder. "This is a time machine. And he's The Doctor." He popped out of his seat, and bounced over now as excited as Brittany. "I've read all your message boards, Sir. I'm even Moderator of the Central Ohio Doctor Watch program. You're like, a legend."
Rachel, who thus far had been seething in the corner over having her solo-interrupted, strode over with her hands on her hips. "We were in the middle of Glee rehearsal. You can't just barge in here like that! I was about to sing a solo."
The Doctor squealed, sounding much like Brittany, and flailed around a little. "I love music!" he gushed, humming a Sontaran folk song under his breath. They were a power-hungry race, but they had some really catchy tunes. "In fact, that's why I'm here." He paused, dramatically, while Amy and Rory rolled their eyes simultaneously behind him.
"I need you. All of you. To save the Universe." Another dramatic pause, and Brittany and Sam both gasped in unison. The Doctor continued, without waiting for questions. "Come on, into the TARDIS. The Fifth Annual Intergalactic Glee Club Competition is starting, and I need to get backstage to find the Indestructible Destructive Delta Ray of Doom (patent pending) the Sontarans have hidden. I can't do that without a Glee Club. That's where you come in!"
Brittany and Sam didn't have to be asked twice, and had disappeared into the blue box even before The Doctor had finished talking. Kurt eyed the Doctor, but apparently was appeased by his fashion sense, and followed his boyfriend into the TARDIS. Rachel, who wasn't about to let Kurt get her solo, followed. Soon, the entire Glee Club, plus Mr. Schue, The Doctor, Amy and Rory, were standing in the TARDIS.
"It's bigger on the inside." It was said in a group collective, and The Doctor beamed.
"I love it when they say that!" He looked pointedly at Rory, and then went about explaining the mechanics of his darling TARDIS. While he talked he fiddled and poked at buttons, until the TARDIS lurched forward, and disappeared from the Glee club room of McKinley High.
And that was how New Directions won their first ever Intergalactic Glee Club trophy and saved the Universe. Turns out, people in the 82nd Century also loved Journey. It also turned out that the one downfall of the Indestructible Destructive Delta Ray of Doom (patent pending) was how it shattered under the dual power of Rachel and Kurt's simultaneous High F note, held for two minutes.
But this just might be the scariest thing to ever come out of my brain.
Crossover Glee/Doctor Who. Possible spoilers through all aired episodes of both shows.
Brittany-centric. Appearances by other canon Glee characters. Takes place in a hypothetical Season three. Crack. So much crack. ~1300 words. I can't even. *facepalm*
Brittany waltzed into Glee practice late one Monday afternoon. Her blond hair bouncing behind her, eyes sparkling, she kissed first Artie, then Santana, before taking the empty seat next to Kurt. She linked her fingers with his, and grinned at Mr. Shue who had been about to wax poetic about this week's Journey assignment.
"Brittany, you're late," Mr Shue said, frowning at her. His vest was particularly distracting today, so it took Brittany a second to answer.
"I was with The Doctor," she explained. "We had to save McKinley from the rainbow Daleks. Apparently they thought our slushy machine was a source of power for their spaceship."
It was a testament to the number of times Brittany had come up with crazy stories that no one in Glee club even batted an eye. Even the new girl, Amanda, who had only been in Glee for a day, knew it's just par for the course with Brittany S. Pierce.
"Uh, that's great Brittany. But next time, could you try to be on-time? We're counting on you to choreograph our Sectionals number for the Journey medley! Now, where was I..." Mr. Schue sounded equal parts bemused and annoyed, and ignored the collective groan from the kids at the mention of Journey.
He went on for a few more minutes, eagerly outlining his plan of attack for Sectionals. After being denied his Journey medley at last year's Sectionals, he wasn't going to miss out again. Everyone enjoyed a little journey, right?!
"But Mr. Schue!" Brittany had apparently just been waiting for a break in Mr. Schue's weekly monologue to continue her story. "I wasn't done! Don't you want to hear about how the Doctor and I traveled through time and space, and went to a concert in the 65th century. I think you'd find it really interesting! I got some real good ideas! They still love Journey then."
Mr. Schue suddenly looked a lot more intrigued. The idea that more than four thousand years in the future, people still worshiped the greatness that was Journey was very appealing. Even if Brittany was probably under the influence of illegal drugs. Maybe he should call her parents...
"Right. That sounds interesting Brittany. Why don't you and Mike start working on those ideas then. Rachel, Finn, I'd like you to sing lead on this first song..."
Just then, Mr. Schue is interrupted by a sort of whirr whirr creeeeeeeeech sound, and everyone gaped in amazement as a blue police box materialized in front of the group. Brittany squealed, and jumped up from her seat to run over, dragging Kurt with her as she hadn't let go of his hand. The door to the Police Box popped open, and a tall, thin man with floppy hair and a bow-tie stuck his head out. He looked around for a second, then his eyes lighted on Brittany. They ran towards each other, embraced, and then flailed around in a circle for a few minutes, laughing.
"Ah, there you are! I thought I'd misplaced you." There was a faint female screech from inside the box, and the man disappeared back into the box for a minute. They could hear him saying, "Yes, yes, very sorry about that Amy. I didn't mean to leave you and Rory on Planet XX for a week. Yes, yes, I understand that you and Rory have limits. Now, now, stop that pouting and come and meet Brittany. She's brilliant."
Brittany, who had been bouncing with more glee, clapped in excitement as the man stepped out, this time followed by a pretty red-head (who must be Amy) and another tall man with a beaky nose. Kurt had finally rescued his hand from Brittany's grip, gave them all a once-over. Finally, he nodded. "Fantastic bow-tie. Is it a McQueen?"
The man, was he The Doctor?, beamed, and sent a superior look towards Amy. "See, Amy, some people have a proper respect for the traditional bow-tie. Tell me, what's your opinion on Fez's?"
"Okay, now hold up here!" Everyone looked over at Mercedes, who was standing with her hands on her hips. "Someone explain this to me! Did Mr. Schue's crazy ex spike the water fountain with more of that Vitamin D stuff?"
"Oh, pardon me. How rude, I've neglected to introduce myself. I'm The Doctor." He said it with a sort of finality, as if everyone was supposed to just know who he was. "And these are my companions, Amy and her husband Rory. And this," Here he paused, and stroked a hand over the blue wood lovingly. "Is the TARDIS."
"That stands for Time And Relative Dimension(s) In Space," Brittany chimed in helpfully.
"Oh my god." This was from Sam, who had been staring at the goings-on in some sort of geek-wonder. "This is a time machine. And he's The Doctor." He popped out of his seat, and bounced over now as excited as Brittany. "I've read all your message boards, Sir. I'm even Moderator of the Central Ohio Doctor Watch program. You're like, a legend."
Rachel, who thus far had been seething in the corner over having her solo-interrupted, strode over with her hands on her hips. "We were in the middle of Glee rehearsal. You can't just barge in here like that! I was about to sing a solo."
The Doctor squealed, sounding much like Brittany, and flailed around a little. "I love music!" he gushed, humming a Sontaran folk song under his breath. They were a power-hungry race, but they had some really catchy tunes. "In fact, that's why I'm here." He paused, dramatically, while Amy and Rory rolled their eyes simultaneously behind him.
"I need you. All of you. To save the Universe." Another dramatic pause, and Brittany and Sam both gasped in unison. The Doctor continued, without waiting for questions. "Come on, into the TARDIS. The Fifth Annual Intergalactic Glee Club Competition is starting, and I need to get backstage to find the Indestructible Destructive Delta Ray of Doom (patent pending) the Sontarans have hidden. I can't do that without a Glee Club. That's where you come in!"
Brittany and Sam didn't have to be asked twice, and had disappeared into the blue box even before The Doctor had finished talking. Kurt eyed the Doctor, but apparently was appeased by his fashion sense, and followed his boyfriend into the TARDIS. Rachel, who wasn't about to let Kurt get her solo, followed. Soon, the entire Glee Club, plus Mr. Schue, The Doctor, Amy and Rory, were standing in the TARDIS.
"It's bigger on the inside." It was said in a group collective, and The Doctor beamed.
"I love it when they say that!" He looked pointedly at Rory, and then went about explaining the mechanics of his darling TARDIS. While he talked he fiddled and poked at buttons, until the TARDIS lurched forward, and disappeared from the Glee club room of McKinley High.
And that was how New Directions won their first ever Intergalactic Glee Club trophy and saved the Universe. Turns out, people in the 82nd Century also loved Journey. It also turned out that the one downfall of the Indestructible Destructive Delta Ray of Doom (patent pending) was how it shattered under the dual power of Rachel and Kurt's simultaneous High F note, held for two minutes.