SGA: Chocolate Hunt
Title: Chocolate Hunt
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Nothing past The Return Part I
Summary: What is John prepared to do when Elizabeth needs chocolate?
Beta: her_xcelncy
A/N: Written for swficathon at the request of truthlostmsr, who asked for late-night hijinks, established relationship and fun.
Elizabeth twisted open the cap of the nail polish bottle and grimaced at the strong smell, starting to apply the bright lacquer on her fingernails with concentration. A big part of her felt extremely silly doing this: she had never been into beauty treatments much and even less on Atlantis where it was unlikely anyone cared what her nails looked like. Lately, however, she had become good friends with Laura Cadman and the young lieutenant had brought a bag full of all sorts of lotions and potions for all the women of the expedition as a ‘morale booster’ when she had returned from a trip to Earth a couple of weeks previously.
“You never know when you might need this stuff”, Laura had winked at her, twinkle in her eye and Elizabeth remembered looking at the bag with suspicion. She had yet to fully go through its contents, though she pretty much knew everything it held due to Teyla often coming to her and asking for advice on how to use the products. The Athosian woman had graciously promised Laura to test out everything, even though Elizabeth was sure she considered most of it just as another strange custom of Earth.
Starting to apply another layer on her nails, she heard the door open and glanced up at the man entering her quarters. John was in his exercise clothes, using a towel to dry sweat from his face, slightly out of breath.
“Hey.”
“Hi.” She smiled and watched as he walked to her, reaching up to accept his kiss. “Good sparring?”
“Yeah. Teyla no longer kicks my ass quite as much. I think she saves most of her efforts for Ronon.” John rolled his eyes and proceeded to pull off his t-shirt, wrinkling his nose.
“Nail polish?”
Elizabeth smiled. “Are you surprised?”
He shrugged. “Never seen you use the stuff before. I don’t suppose the Ancients would have invented any that wouldn’t smell quite as bad?”
“If they have, we are still to discover it.” She closed the bottle and held her hand out. “What do you think?”
John grabbed her wrist, looking at the bright translucent lacquer on her nails. “Very adventurous.”
She slapped him playfully. “What were you expecting?”
He started to the direction of the bathroom for a shower. “Red, to match your shirt?”
Elizabeth laughed, dropping the small bottle back into her drawer where it would probably remain indefinitely, if her previous habits were anything to go by. “I wonder what the kind of a message it would send if the leader of Atlantis started walking around with red nails.”
“That you’re a girl?” John’s voice was almost drowned by the sound of water.
“Glad you’ve noticed.” She wandered back to the bed and blew on her nails to speed up the drying process. It was early afternoon and she was having a rare day off after Carson had pulled medical rank, hence the time to attempt to save her nails. Other than that, she had done her best to sleep late but had discovered that skill was long gone, tried to eat a substantial breakfast only to realize she really was not hungry in the mornings and gone for a run which had resulted in aches and pains and reminded her she really needed to find time for regular exercise. Free time really didn’t seem to agree with her and she was slowly getting exceptionally bored.
John appeared again, a towel around his waist and drying his hair with another. “I think you’d look kind of hot with red nail polish.”
“Kind of?” She raised an eyebrow teasingly, drawing her knees up to her chest. John flopped to the bed on his back next to her, closing his eyes.
“Okay, very hot.”
She grinned, leaning down to kiss him. “Are you hungry?”
“Mmm.” He lifted a hand behind her neck, kiss increasing in intensity. “Starving.”
“I was talking about food”, she pointed out when they broke apart for air.
John opened one eye, grinning lazily. “What do you think I was talking about?”
She snorted and started to roll out of the bed. “John, you’re impossible. Would you please get dressed so we can go find lunch?”
He grasped her wrist before she had time to get away and pulled her back to him. “Hey, are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” Elizabeth sighed at John’s expression, which told her he really didn’t believe her.
“I’m just bored and it’s only lunchtime. I want to do some work.”
“And risk Carson’s wrath?” He caressed her wrist. “You know you work too much, Elizabeth. He’s only looking after you.”
“I know but…”
“No buts.” He pulled her for a brief but determined kiss. “Come on, let’s go get lunch and take a walk or something. But you’re not going to the control room.”
She wrinkled her nose but smiled. “Yes, Colonel.”
*****
When they made it to the mess hall Elizabeth discovered she was in fact hungrier than she had been in a long time. John watched with a smile as she emptied her plate and stole a few mouthfuls from his.
“Glad to see you’re eating well, Elizabeth.” Carson joined them with a tray of his own and Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at the Scottish doctor.
“There’s no point in looking at me like that, lass. You’re off duty until tomorrow morning. Enjoy yer free time.”
“I’m afraid I have forgotten the meaning of that concept”, she said quietly, settling down her fork on the empty plate. Carson nodded.
“Even more reason to try and rediscover it then. Maybe you’ll enjoy it so much you’ll want to do it again soon.” The doctor winked at her and Elizabeth couldn’t help a smile.
“Maybe.”
“What’s that smell?” Rodney McKay dumped his tray next to John’s and sniffed the air conspicuously. “I smell something weird.”
John rolled his eyes. “Maybe it’s lemons, Rodney.”
“Lemons?! Where?” A panicked look entered the scientist’s eyes and Elizabeth shook her head at John’s innocent expression.
“Relax, Rodney. It’s probably my nail polish. Although I don’t know how you could possibly still smell it.”
“Since when do you use nail polish?” Rodney picked up her hand and sniffed. “That’s disgusting.”
“Thank you, Rodney. I was bored before lunch so I put some on.”
“You couldn’t think of anything else to do on your day off than painting your nails? Not that there’s any colour on them anyway.”
“Shut up, Rodney.”
“What? You think that stuff smells good, Colonel?”
“No, but you’re making it sound like Elizabeth did her nails just to torture you. Don’t take everything so personally.”
“I am not. I was just saying…”
“It’s all right, both of you.” Elizabeth interrupted the bickering. “John, I’ll just get some coffee and then we can go.”
“I’ll get it.” He was on his feet in a heartbeat. “It’s your day off, after all.”
She sat back down, smiling. “Thank you.”
*****
“Everybody seems to take great care to remind me it’s my day off”, she mused, sipping her coffee and leaning against the railing of her second-favourite balcony, the one outside her - their - quarters. They had been unable to go to her first choice since it was adjacent to the control room and he wasn’t allowing her anywhere near it. She remembered the early days of their relationship when they had sneaked onto that balcony for quick sessions of heated, stolen kisses and she had been terrified someone would walk in on them. These days them being together was pretty much general knowledge all over the city and also the subject of various betting pools and endless gossip, especially during the quieter periods when there was nothing else to talk about.
John smiled, fingers moving gently up and down her arm. “That’s only because they care so much.”
That earned him an eyebrow. “Even Rodney?”
“Even Rodney”, he confirmed. “Probably especially Rodney. Even if he’s really bad at showing it.”
Elizabeth sighed, closing her eyes as the gentle breeze caressed her face.
“You know what would make this day even better?”
“What?”
“Chocolate.”
John looked surprised. “Chocolate?”
“Yeah, you know, sweet brown stuff, causes addiction…”
“I haven’t forgotten what chocolate is”, he smiled. “What makes you want it all of a sudden?”
“Probably the fact I don’t have any left. And I know you don’t have any left.”
“Yeah, because you ate it all.”
She grinned wickedly. “Well, we did also use some for…other purposes.”
“Indeed we did.” His lips twitched at the memory. “I’d say that was a much more satisfying way of using the stuff than just plain eating it.”
“There is nothing more satisfying than eating chocolate, John.”
He looked at her with the intense expression that always made her knees weak. “If I didn’t have a meeting about tomorrow’s mission in fifteen minutes, I would make you take those words back.”
She took a shaky breath. “I’m sure Colonel Caldwell won’t mind if you’re a few minutes late.”
*****
John made it to the briefing three minutes past the appointed time but Caldwell himself was also slightly late and he was able to get seated before the meeting began. Listening to Rodney argue with the Colonel about something that completely escaped his attention, he started wondering if anyone would still have some chocolate left from the huge pile Laura Cadman and some others had brought back through Stargate. Chocolate tended to be the first thing to disappear, as they weren’t able to get it that often. He had no idea how Elizabeth and other chocoholics of the city had been able to cope before the Daedalus had started regular trips between Earth and Atlantis.
He was wondering what the Stargate Command would say if he sent someone to Earth through the Gate just to bring back some chocolate when someone called his name.
“Colonel Sheppard?”
Caldwell was looking at him expectantly and John desperately tried to look like he had been listening.
“Sounds good to me.”
Caldwell narrowed his eyes but a slight smile was playing on his lips.
“Very well. You’ll set out at noon tomorrow. Dismissed.”
John got to his feet and rushed out of the room to catch up with Rodney.
“McKay, can I ask you something?”
The scientist looked suspicious. “What do you want, Sheppard?”
“I was just wondering if you had any chocolate left.”
“You’re wondering if I have any chocolate left.” McKay repeated slowly.
“Yes, Rodney.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to surprise someone.”
McKay started towards his lab. “Elizabeth?”
“If you must know, yes.”
“Is this why you weren’t listening to a word that was said in the meeting? Because you need to find Elizabeth some chocolate. That’s sort of sweet, in a totally gross way.”
“McKay!”
The scientist made a face. “Ask Laura. She’s been torturing me and rationing my chocolate portions, even though she knows I need it to keep my blood sugar stable. She’s probably eaten it all herself anyway.”
John raised an eyebrow. “Laura? So you’ve gone from not being able to stand her to calling her by her first name.”
“What’s that got to do…Colonel, I really do not appreciate your...whatever you’re saying. And for your information, I still can’t stand her.”
“Of course not. But only because she was in your head.”
“We were never supposed to talk about that again!”
*****
Elizabeth was sitting on the bed, against the pillows with her legs stretched out, staring at the screen of her laptop with concentration when John got back.
“That better not be a mission report.”
She sighed and turned the screen to reveal a game of Solitaire.
“Oh.” He sat down and pushed her legs out of the way. “McKay thinks Cadman might have some chocolate left.”
“What? John, you didn’t ask Rodney for chocolate, did you?”
“Why not? He’s the most likely source, after you.”
Elizabeth smiled. “I really don’t need it that much, John. But I appreciate the gesture.”
“You said it would make your day even better so I’m not giving up until I find you some chocolate.”
“John…”
“I’ll go ask Cadman.” He stood up and was out of the door before Elizabeth could say another word and she couldn’t help a smile. Sometimes John Sheppard’s notorious stubbornness could be a good thing.
*****
It turned out Laura was also out of chocolate after having had some of it mysteriously disappear from her quarters when she had been on a mission.
“I say we raid Rodney’s quarters. I bet he’s the chocolate thief.”
“John, we are NOT breaking into Rodney’s quarters!”
“Who said anything about breaking in? ATA gene, remember? I can open all the doors.”
“No, John.”
He pouted. “You’re no fun.”
“Yes, well, I’m the boss. I’m not supposed to be any fun. John, promise me you’ll stay out of Rodney’s room.”
He rolled his eyes but obeyed just as there was a knock on the door and Elizabeth walked to open it.
“Laura.”
“Hi”, Laura Cadman said, sounding a little out of breath like she had been running. “I just needed to tell Colonel Sheppard that Rodney didn’t steal my chocolate.”
Elizabeth’s eyebrows rose. “Right.”
“Are you sure?” There was a slight hint of disappointment in John’s voice and Elizabeth tried not to laugh.
“Yes, Sir, I just saw him and he was complaining how he didn’t have any chocolate anymore and how you mentioning it had made him want some. I believe him - I probably ate it myself or something and have forgotten about it. That’s not unheard of me. I thought you’d probably suspect Rodney so I thought it best to tell you.”
“Damn.” He frowned. “I wonder if Teyla or Ronon would have…”
“They don’t like our chocolate, John.”
“Oh, right, I forgot.”
“There might be some in the kitchen”, Laura said. “Last week they had chocolate brownies for dessert, maybe they have some of it left.”
“Cadman, you are a genius!” John beamed at the young lieutenant who shared a smile with Elizabeth.
“Permission to raid the kitchen, Ma’am?” John was practically bouncing on the spot and Elizabeth sighed.
“Why can’t you simply ask the kitchen staff whether they have any chocolate left?”
“Because there’s no fun in that.” He employed the puppy dog expression. “Come on, ‘Lizabeth.”
“You’re going to do it anyway, no matter what I say, aren’t you?”
“Well…”
“I wouldn’t mind some chocolate myself, to be honest”, Laura said. “McKay was constantly on my tail begging for it when I still had some and that kind of took away all the enjoyment of eating it.”
Elizabeth couldn’t deny that all the talk about chocolate had made her want it herself even more. And maybe John’s little excursion would bring some excitement to her boring day off.
“Fine. But I want to go with you.”
John smiled. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
He turned to Cadman. “We have a mission. Meet us at the entrance to mess hall at 9. And not a word to McKay.”
Cadman smiled. “Yes Sir.”
*****
“This is ridiculous, John”, Elizabeth complained as John pulled her behind him before peeking around another corner. They were slowly advancing towards the mess hall and Elizabeth couldn’t understand why they couldn’t just walk right in as it was past dinnertime and the place was likely to be deserted.
“I don’t want anyone to see us.” He grinned. “You gotta admit, it’s funnier this way.”
She couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. “Yes, John.”
“Okay, clear.” He pulled at her hand and they quietly ran along the corridor to the next corner.
“I’m surprised you didn’t make me wear a bullet-proof vest”, Elizabeth said dryly.
“I did consider it.” He lifted a finger on his lips and Elizabeth quietened, listening to approaching footsteps. John pushed her into the shadows, pulling her closer and she leaned against his chest, enjoying the strong and steady heartbeat.
“It’s Teyla and Ronon”, John whispered very quietly and she could hear the deep laughter of the tall Satedan, followed by Teyla’s voice. They were speaking in hushed tones and she couldn’t quite make out what they were saying. The voices passed them without pause and Elizabeth let out a small sigh of relief.
John glanced at her, grinning. “Having fun?”
“Maybe.”
“Yes you are. Come on.”
They crossed another small distance and had arrived by the stairs when a deep voice behind them made them both jump.
“Sheppard? Doctor Weir?”
John groaned and turned around. “Ronon, Teyla. You heard us.”
“You were not being particularly quiet”, Ronon said.
Elizabeth smiled, embarrassed. “We were just…taking a walk.”
“By sneaking around and hiding in the corners?” Ronon sounded highly amused.
She glanced at John who shrugged. “We were going to the mess hall to see if they had any chocolate left and we’re…well…”
“Hiding from Rodney”, John quickly said and Elizabeth nodded her agreement.
“Doctor McKay is in his lab. We just saw him, he was very busy”, Teyla said.
“Oh. Well, nothing to worry about then.” John was feeling rather uncomfortable now. “We’ll just…be on our way.”
Elizabeth clasped her hands together, still slightly embarrassed. ”Would you like to join us? Maybe for a drink or something?”
Ronon shrugged. “Why not? If we don’t have to hide in the corners with you.”
His voice was full of laughter and John cleared his throat, grimacing. “I suppose that’s not needed anymore.”
“You know, a life detector would have shown you where McKay was at all times”, Ronon pointed out as they started towards the mess hall again.
“I think that would have taken things a bit too far”, Elizabeth pointed out, exchanging an amused glance with Teyla.
“Oh I don’t think so. Have you seen McKay when there is a possibility of chocolate around? I swear, he’s ten times worse than you.”
“I’m not that bad”, she muttered under her breath, remembering far too well her reaction to the pile of chocolate that had suddenly materialized in the control room a couple of weeks ago.
“I do not understand the fascination with this substance you call chocolate”, Teyla frowned. “It is far too sweet for my taste.”
“Well, you see, Teyla, there are all sorts of different flavours of chocolate on Earth. There is milk chocolate, which is very sweet, and then there is dark chocolate, which is more bitter.” John made a face. “There is even white chocolate, which tastes very different from all the others. And one must not forget chocolate together with caramel or peanuts or the fact that whichever country you go to, there’s always a new brand to try. ”
Teyla looked like she was sorry she’d asked when they finally reached mess hall and spotted Laura Cadman leaning against the wall just outside.
“Colonel, Dr. Weir,” she nodded at them, looking at Teyla and Ronon curiously. “Colonel, I thought you said…”
“They’re just coming in for a drink”, John explained quickly. “They’re no threat to the possible chocolate stash in there.
Ronon snorted. “It must be really important to you to get chocolate, after all the…precautions you’ve taken tonight.”
Laura frowned. “Precautions?”
“We’re just trying to hide from Rodney”, Elizabeth said quickly. “John is worried that if he got wind of our plans, all the chocolate - if there is any - would be gone in a heartbeat.”
“It probably would be”, the young Lieutenant agreed, following them to the mess hall. “Knowing Rodney’s insatiable appetite.”
The mess hall was deserted, just like Elizabeth had expected. John’s presence made the lights flicker on instantly and she looked around at the rows of empty tables.
“So, what’s the plan, Colonel?” She asked John softly, slipping her hand into his. “I assume you have one.”
John grinned, squeezing her hand quickly, before releasing it and wrapping an arm around her instead. “Don’t I always have one?”
“Indeed”, she agreed. “I’m not sure of the quality of your plans at all times, however.”
He pretended to look hurt and Laura chuckled. “Ouch.”
“I’ll have you know this is a very good plan”, John said proudly. “We just need to go into the kitchen and go through all the cabinets. As quietly and efficiently as possible.”
Ronon and Teyla exchanged a look, clearly agreeing on the insanity of Earth people, before the Satedan grinned. “Sounds like an excellent plan to me.”
*****
“This doesn’t look very good” Elizabeth sighed thirty minutes later, closing yet another cabinet door and climbing down from her chair. “No chocolate.”
So far their raid had only produced a handful of brownies and a few sachets of hot chocolate powder - Elizabeth had made a mental note to order more from Earth as soon as possible - but none of the solid variety of chocolate she craved. “Maybe we should just…”
John silenced her with a finger on her lips. “We’ve still got a few cabinets left. Don’t give up now, Elizabeth.”
She rolled her eyes but smiled, moving her chair. “Yes, John.”
In the end it was Teyla who came upon the jackpot, hidden in the very last cabinet, behind several bags of flour and sugar - obviously the kitchen staff had anticipated their visit. “Is this it?”
John’s eyes lit up at the sight of four large milk chocolate bars and a box of assorted chocolates that Teyla was holding at arm’s length. “I knew it!”
Elizabeth flopped down on her chair and smiled as Teyla graciously piled her findings on John’s arms and retreated to stand next to Ronon who was leaning against a wall, looking highly entertained. John nearly ripped open the box and presented the contents to Elizabeth. “Told you I’d get you chocolate. Take your pick.”
She hesitated for a moment, thinking about the kitchen staff before she remembered the Daedalus was leaving in a couple of days to get more supplies from Earth. She would just order more chocolate and cross her fingers it would actually get to Atlantis before anyone working in the kitchen noticed something was missing.
Her hand hovered over the box as she tried to decide where to start, the sight and smell of chocolate severely distracting her from thinking clearly. Just as her fingers descended on a piece of especially delicious-looking white chocolate, the lights in the main mess hall flashed back on.
“Damn.” John closed the box before Elizabeth managed to grab her prize, shoving it and the bars back into the cabinet. She glared.
“Oh no,” Laura muttered under her breath, her eyes flicking between the mess hall and the very pissed off Elizabeth. John gave the expedition leader an apologetic smile.
“You can wait a bit longer, can’t you?”
Before Elizabeth could get over her annoyance for being denied chocolate enough to answer, Ronon lifted a warning finger. “It’s McKay.”
John cursed under his breath and peeked out of the kitchen door at the approaching scientist, who was clearly headed for the kitchen. “Fantastic.”
“Someone should distract him”, Laura said, her eyes landing on Elizabeth. Three other pairs of eyes followed hers.
“Me?” Elizabeth shook her head, incredulous. First she had spent a good bit of time searching for chocolate, only to have to snatched away when it had been found, and now she needed to distract an equally chocolate-hungry Rodney McKay. “You’ve got to be joking.”
Rodney’s voice drifted from the mess hall. “Is someone there? Hello?”
“You know how to handle him”, John hissed, glancing at the closed cabinet door to make sure the chocolate hadn’t somehow managed to escape. “Go.”
Elizabeth scoffed, her eyes shooting daggers. “Fine.”
She waved her hand over the light sensor, hoping it would obey her instead of John and his ATA gene. It did and the light faded, leaving the kitchen bathed in darkness. Elizabeth stepped into the main mess hall, plastering a fake smile on her face.
“Rodney.”
The scientist looked surprised. “Elizabeth. What are you doing here this late?”
“I…uh…I wanted a cup of coffee.”
Rodney glanced at her empty hands. “You don’t have any.”
“Well…when I got here I changed my mind and went for water instead. You know how Carson is always saying I drink too much of coffee and all that.”
“There is such a thing as too much coffee?”
Elizabeth scratched her head, smiling innocently. “Apparently yes.”
“Ah well, I’m in direct need of some right now. I feel like I’m on the brink of something very important in the lab.” Rodney started walking around her and Elizabeth grimaced.
“Actually, Rodney, I wanted to ask you something.”
She desperately tried to think of a question as the scientist watched her expectantly. “Yes, Elizabeth? You know, I don’t have all night. My brilliant brain is required at the lab.”
“Well, I was just hoping you’d show me what you’re working on. I’m sure it’s something fascinating.”
Rodney looked suspicious. “You’ve never really been interested before. What is going on, Elizabeth?”
She clasped her hands in front of her. “Just curious as to what you’ve come up with now to benefit the city.”
“Oh. Well, I’d be more than happy to show you. After I get coffee.”
“Rodney, wait! You see, the thing is…I think we’re running low and…we should really start rationing.”
“Rationing coffee? Are you insane?”
“Yes, well…Look, why don’t you let me make you a hot chocolate instead? I’ll meet you back in the lab.”
Rodney sighed, but turned to walk away. “I suppose that is better than nothing. Although I can’t for the life of me think who would have drunk so much coffee when it was only a few weeks ago that the Daedalus…”
Elizabeth sighed in relief and was just about to turn back into the kitchen when Rodney’s voice stopped her. “By the way, Elizabeth, speaking about chocolate…I don’t suppose Sheppard managed to find you any, did he? Because I could really use some.”
“Um…I don’t think so. I’ll stop by our quarters and ask him”, she offered, hoping to sound convincing. Rodney seemed satisfied, strolling out of the mess muttering something to himself. Elizabeth returned to the kitchen to find Laura already making Rodney’s hot chocolate.
“Is he gone?”
She sighed. “Yes, John, he’s gone. And now I need to go and be stuck in his lab for God knows how long.”
“I’ll go”, Laura said, a mug of hot chocolate in hand. “It’s your day off for another…” she checked her watch, “hour and a half. I’ll just say you needed to attend to something else.”
“Are you sure? You don’t know how long Rodney can go on for if he’s really excited about something.”
“I’ll be fine.” Laura winked at her. “I can always remind him of the lovely few days I spent in his head. That will shut him up.”
Elizabeth smiled gratefully, reaching into the chocolate cabinet and pulling out a bar. “Here. You take this.”
“Thanks. Maybe I’ll even give some to Rodney, if he behaves.” The young Lieutenant smiled and left. Elizabeth turned to the others, suddenly feeling very tired.
Ronon and Teyla exchanged a look.
“We should go now. It is getting late and we have a mission tomorrow”, the Athosian woman said and Ronon nodded. “Good night.”
“Night.” Elizabeth sighed and rubbed her head. John watched her.
“Look, I’m sorry for making you deal with Rodney, it’s just…”
“Don’t worry about it.” She gave him a small smile. “Could I maybe have some chocolate now?”
*****
An hour later, stretched out on the bed, Elizabeth closed her eyes with a content smile. “I’ve eaten too much now.”
John chuckled. “Save the rest for later?”
“Yes please.” She opened her eyes again and watched him close the almost empty box and place it on the floor.
“So,” he rubbed her back slowly. “Is your day perfect now?”
“Hmm?” Elizabeth snuggled closer to his warmth.
“You said chocolate would make your day even better earlier.”
“Ah.” She grinned against the fabric of his shirt. “Well, I do have to say it’s been a quite good day.”
“Only a quite good?” He couldn’t help a slight disappointment in his voice.
“Well, there is still something else you can do to make it even better.” She lifted her head to find his eyes, a wicked smile on her lips.
He understood, grinning at her lazily. “I thought you were too full of chocolate.”
She nibbled at his full bottom lip. “Are you turning me down, John Sheppard?”
“I don’t know what on Earth might have given you that idea.” His hands slid under her shirt, up and down her back and she laughed.
“Thought so.”
*****
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Nothing past The Return Part I
Summary: What is John prepared to do when Elizabeth needs chocolate?
Beta: her_xcelncy
A/N: Written for swficathon at the request of truthlostmsr, who asked for late-night hijinks, established relationship and fun.
Elizabeth twisted open the cap of the nail polish bottle and grimaced at the strong smell, starting to apply the bright lacquer on her fingernails with concentration. A big part of her felt extremely silly doing this: she had never been into beauty treatments much and even less on Atlantis where it was unlikely anyone cared what her nails looked like. Lately, however, she had become good friends with Laura Cadman and the young lieutenant had brought a bag full of all sorts of lotions and potions for all the women of the expedition as a ‘morale booster’ when she had returned from a trip to Earth a couple of weeks previously.
“You never know when you might need this stuff”, Laura had winked at her, twinkle in her eye and Elizabeth remembered looking at the bag with suspicion. She had yet to fully go through its contents, though she pretty much knew everything it held due to Teyla often coming to her and asking for advice on how to use the products. The Athosian woman had graciously promised Laura to test out everything, even though Elizabeth was sure she considered most of it just as another strange custom of Earth.
Starting to apply another layer on her nails, she heard the door open and glanced up at the man entering her quarters. John was in his exercise clothes, using a towel to dry sweat from his face, slightly out of breath.
“Hey.”
“Hi.” She smiled and watched as he walked to her, reaching up to accept his kiss. “Good sparring?”
“Yeah. Teyla no longer kicks my ass quite as much. I think she saves most of her efforts for Ronon.” John rolled his eyes and proceeded to pull off his t-shirt, wrinkling his nose.
“Nail polish?”
Elizabeth smiled. “Are you surprised?”
He shrugged. “Never seen you use the stuff before. I don’t suppose the Ancients would have invented any that wouldn’t smell quite as bad?”
“If they have, we are still to discover it.” She closed the bottle and held her hand out. “What do you think?”
John grabbed her wrist, looking at the bright translucent lacquer on her nails. “Very adventurous.”
She slapped him playfully. “What were you expecting?”
He started to the direction of the bathroom for a shower. “Red, to match your shirt?”
Elizabeth laughed, dropping the small bottle back into her drawer where it would probably remain indefinitely, if her previous habits were anything to go by. “I wonder what the kind of a message it would send if the leader of Atlantis started walking around with red nails.”
“That you’re a girl?” John’s voice was almost drowned by the sound of water.
“Glad you’ve noticed.” She wandered back to the bed and blew on her nails to speed up the drying process. It was early afternoon and she was having a rare day off after Carson had pulled medical rank, hence the time to attempt to save her nails. Other than that, she had done her best to sleep late but had discovered that skill was long gone, tried to eat a substantial breakfast only to realize she really was not hungry in the mornings and gone for a run which had resulted in aches and pains and reminded her she really needed to find time for regular exercise. Free time really didn’t seem to agree with her and she was slowly getting exceptionally bored.
John appeared again, a towel around his waist and drying his hair with another. “I think you’d look kind of hot with red nail polish.”
“Kind of?” She raised an eyebrow teasingly, drawing her knees up to her chest. John flopped to the bed on his back next to her, closing his eyes.
“Okay, very hot.”
She grinned, leaning down to kiss him. “Are you hungry?”
“Mmm.” He lifted a hand behind her neck, kiss increasing in intensity. “Starving.”
“I was talking about food”, she pointed out when they broke apart for air.
John opened one eye, grinning lazily. “What do you think I was talking about?”
She snorted and started to roll out of the bed. “John, you’re impossible. Would you please get dressed so we can go find lunch?”
He grasped her wrist before she had time to get away and pulled her back to him. “Hey, are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” Elizabeth sighed at John’s expression, which told her he really didn’t believe her.
“I’m just bored and it’s only lunchtime. I want to do some work.”
“And risk Carson’s wrath?” He caressed her wrist. “You know you work too much, Elizabeth. He’s only looking after you.”
“I know but…”
“No buts.” He pulled her for a brief but determined kiss. “Come on, let’s go get lunch and take a walk or something. But you’re not going to the control room.”
She wrinkled her nose but smiled. “Yes, Colonel.”
*****
When they made it to the mess hall Elizabeth discovered she was in fact hungrier than she had been in a long time. John watched with a smile as she emptied her plate and stole a few mouthfuls from his.
“Glad to see you’re eating well, Elizabeth.” Carson joined them with a tray of his own and Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at the Scottish doctor.
“There’s no point in looking at me like that, lass. You’re off duty until tomorrow morning. Enjoy yer free time.”
“I’m afraid I have forgotten the meaning of that concept”, she said quietly, settling down her fork on the empty plate. Carson nodded.
“Even more reason to try and rediscover it then. Maybe you’ll enjoy it so much you’ll want to do it again soon.” The doctor winked at her and Elizabeth couldn’t help a smile.
“Maybe.”
“What’s that smell?” Rodney McKay dumped his tray next to John’s and sniffed the air conspicuously. “I smell something weird.”
John rolled his eyes. “Maybe it’s lemons, Rodney.”
“Lemons?! Where?” A panicked look entered the scientist’s eyes and Elizabeth shook her head at John’s innocent expression.
“Relax, Rodney. It’s probably my nail polish. Although I don’t know how you could possibly still smell it.”
“Since when do you use nail polish?” Rodney picked up her hand and sniffed. “That’s disgusting.”
“Thank you, Rodney. I was bored before lunch so I put some on.”
“You couldn’t think of anything else to do on your day off than painting your nails? Not that there’s any colour on them anyway.”
“Shut up, Rodney.”
“What? You think that stuff smells good, Colonel?”
“No, but you’re making it sound like Elizabeth did her nails just to torture you. Don’t take everything so personally.”
“I am not. I was just saying…”
“It’s all right, both of you.” Elizabeth interrupted the bickering. “John, I’ll just get some coffee and then we can go.”
“I’ll get it.” He was on his feet in a heartbeat. “It’s your day off, after all.”
She sat back down, smiling. “Thank you.”
*****
“Everybody seems to take great care to remind me it’s my day off”, she mused, sipping her coffee and leaning against the railing of her second-favourite balcony, the one outside her - their - quarters. They had been unable to go to her first choice since it was adjacent to the control room and he wasn’t allowing her anywhere near it. She remembered the early days of their relationship when they had sneaked onto that balcony for quick sessions of heated, stolen kisses and she had been terrified someone would walk in on them. These days them being together was pretty much general knowledge all over the city and also the subject of various betting pools and endless gossip, especially during the quieter periods when there was nothing else to talk about.
John smiled, fingers moving gently up and down her arm. “That’s only because they care so much.”
That earned him an eyebrow. “Even Rodney?”
“Even Rodney”, he confirmed. “Probably especially Rodney. Even if he’s really bad at showing it.”
Elizabeth sighed, closing her eyes as the gentle breeze caressed her face.
“You know what would make this day even better?”
“What?”
“Chocolate.”
John looked surprised. “Chocolate?”
“Yeah, you know, sweet brown stuff, causes addiction…”
“I haven’t forgotten what chocolate is”, he smiled. “What makes you want it all of a sudden?”
“Probably the fact I don’t have any left. And I know you don’t have any left.”
“Yeah, because you ate it all.”
She grinned wickedly. “Well, we did also use some for…other purposes.”
“Indeed we did.” His lips twitched at the memory. “I’d say that was a much more satisfying way of using the stuff than just plain eating it.”
“There is nothing more satisfying than eating chocolate, John.”
He looked at her with the intense expression that always made her knees weak. “If I didn’t have a meeting about tomorrow’s mission in fifteen minutes, I would make you take those words back.”
She took a shaky breath. “I’m sure Colonel Caldwell won’t mind if you’re a few minutes late.”
*****
John made it to the briefing three minutes past the appointed time but Caldwell himself was also slightly late and he was able to get seated before the meeting began. Listening to Rodney argue with the Colonel about something that completely escaped his attention, he started wondering if anyone would still have some chocolate left from the huge pile Laura Cadman and some others had brought back through Stargate. Chocolate tended to be the first thing to disappear, as they weren’t able to get it that often. He had no idea how Elizabeth and other chocoholics of the city had been able to cope before the Daedalus had started regular trips between Earth and Atlantis.
He was wondering what the Stargate Command would say if he sent someone to Earth through the Gate just to bring back some chocolate when someone called his name.
“Colonel Sheppard?”
Caldwell was looking at him expectantly and John desperately tried to look like he had been listening.
“Sounds good to me.”
Caldwell narrowed his eyes but a slight smile was playing on his lips.
“Very well. You’ll set out at noon tomorrow. Dismissed.”
John got to his feet and rushed out of the room to catch up with Rodney.
“McKay, can I ask you something?”
The scientist looked suspicious. “What do you want, Sheppard?”
“I was just wondering if you had any chocolate left.”
“You’re wondering if I have any chocolate left.” McKay repeated slowly.
“Yes, Rodney.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to surprise someone.”
McKay started towards his lab. “Elizabeth?”
“If you must know, yes.”
“Is this why you weren’t listening to a word that was said in the meeting? Because you need to find Elizabeth some chocolate. That’s sort of sweet, in a totally gross way.”
“McKay!”
The scientist made a face. “Ask Laura. She’s been torturing me and rationing my chocolate portions, even though she knows I need it to keep my blood sugar stable. She’s probably eaten it all herself anyway.”
John raised an eyebrow. “Laura? So you’ve gone from not being able to stand her to calling her by her first name.”
“What’s that got to do…Colonel, I really do not appreciate your...whatever you’re saying. And for your information, I still can’t stand her.”
“Of course not. But only because she was in your head.”
“We were never supposed to talk about that again!”
*****
Elizabeth was sitting on the bed, against the pillows with her legs stretched out, staring at the screen of her laptop with concentration when John got back.
“That better not be a mission report.”
She sighed and turned the screen to reveal a game of Solitaire.
“Oh.” He sat down and pushed her legs out of the way. “McKay thinks Cadman might have some chocolate left.”
“What? John, you didn’t ask Rodney for chocolate, did you?”
“Why not? He’s the most likely source, after you.”
Elizabeth smiled. “I really don’t need it that much, John. But I appreciate the gesture.”
“You said it would make your day even better so I’m not giving up until I find you some chocolate.”
“John…”
“I’ll go ask Cadman.” He stood up and was out of the door before Elizabeth could say another word and she couldn’t help a smile. Sometimes John Sheppard’s notorious stubbornness could be a good thing.
*****
It turned out Laura was also out of chocolate after having had some of it mysteriously disappear from her quarters when she had been on a mission.
“I say we raid Rodney’s quarters. I bet he’s the chocolate thief.”
“John, we are NOT breaking into Rodney’s quarters!”
“Who said anything about breaking in? ATA gene, remember? I can open all the doors.”
“No, John.”
He pouted. “You’re no fun.”
“Yes, well, I’m the boss. I’m not supposed to be any fun. John, promise me you’ll stay out of Rodney’s room.”
He rolled his eyes but obeyed just as there was a knock on the door and Elizabeth walked to open it.
“Laura.”
“Hi”, Laura Cadman said, sounding a little out of breath like she had been running. “I just needed to tell Colonel Sheppard that Rodney didn’t steal my chocolate.”
Elizabeth’s eyebrows rose. “Right.”
“Are you sure?” There was a slight hint of disappointment in John’s voice and Elizabeth tried not to laugh.
“Yes, Sir, I just saw him and he was complaining how he didn’t have any chocolate anymore and how you mentioning it had made him want some. I believe him - I probably ate it myself or something and have forgotten about it. That’s not unheard of me. I thought you’d probably suspect Rodney so I thought it best to tell you.”
“Damn.” He frowned. “I wonder if Teyla or Ronon would have…”
“They don’t like our chocolate, John.”
“Oh, right, I forgot.”
“There might be some in the kitchen”, Laura said. “Last week they had chocolate brownies for dessert, maybe they have some of it left.”
“Cadman, you are a genius!” John beamed at the young lieutenant who shared a smile with Elizabeth.
“Permission to raid the kitchen, Ma’am?” John was practically bouncing on the spot and Elizabeth sighed.
“Why can’t you simply ask the kitchen staff whether they have any chocolate left?”
“Because there’s no fun in that.” He employed the puppy dog expression. “Come on, ‘Lizabeth.”
“You’re going to do it anyway, no matter what I say, aren’t you?”
“Well…”
“I wouldn’t mind some chocolate myself, to be honest”, Laura said. “McKay was constantly on my tail begging for it when I still had some and that kind of took away all the enjoyment of eating it.”
Elizabeth couldn’t deny that all the talk about chocolate had made her want it herself even more. And maybe John’s little excursion would bring some excitement to her boring day off.
“Fine. But I want to go with you.”
John smiled. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
He turned to Cadman. “We have a mission. Meet us at the entrance to mess hall at 9. And not a word to McKay.”
Cadman smiled. “Yes Sir.”
*****
“This is ridiculous, John”, Elizabeth complained as John pulled her behind him before peeking around another corner. They were slowly advancing towards the mess hall and Elizabeth couldn’t understand why they couldn’t just walk right in as it was past dinnertime and the place was likely to be deserted.
“I don’t want anyone to see us.” He grinned. “You gotta admit, it’s funnier this way.”
She couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. “Yes, John.”
“Okay, clear.” He pulled at her hand and they quietly ran along the corridor to the next corner.
“I’m surprised you didn’t make me wear a bullet-proof vest”, Elizabeth said dryly.
“I did consider it.” He lifted a finger on his lips and Elizabeth quietened, listening to approaching footsteps. John pushed her into the shadows, pulling her closer and she leaned against his chest, enjoying the strong and steady heartbeat.
“It’s Teyla and Ronon”, John whispered very quietly and she could hear the deep laughter of the tall Satedan, followed by Teyla’s voice. They were speaking in hushed tones and she couldn’t quite make out what they were saying. The voices passed them without pause and Elizabeth let out a small sigh of relief.
John glanced at her, grinning. “Having fun?”
“Maybe.”
“Yes you are. Come on.”
They crossed another small distance and had arrived by the stairs when a deep voice behind them made them both jump.
“Sheppard? Doctor Weir?”
John groaned and turned around. “Ronon, Teyla. You heard us.”
“You were not being particularly quiet”, Ronon said.
Elizabeth smiled, embarrassed. “We were just…taking a walk.”
“By sneaking around and hiding in the corners?” Ronon sounded highly amused.
She glanced at John who shrugged. “We were going to the mess hall to see if they had any chocolate left and we’re…well…”
“Hiding from Rodney”, John quickly said and Elizabeth nodded her agreement.
“Doctor McKay is in his lab. We just saw him, he was very busy”, Teyla said.
“Oh. Well, nothing to worry about then.” John was feeling rather uncomfortable now. “We’ll just…be on our way.”
Elizabeth clasped her hands together, still slightly embarrassed. ”Would you like to join us? Maybe for a drink or something?”
Ronon shrugged. “Why not? If we don’t have to hide in the corners with you.”
His voice was full of laughter and John cleared his throat, grimacing. “I suppose that’s not needed anymore.”
“You know, a life detector would have shown you where McKay was at all times”, Ronon pointed out as they started towards the mess hall again.
“I think that would have taken things a bit too far”, Elizabeth pointed out, exchanging an amused glance with Teyla.
“Oh I don’t think so. Have you seen McKay when there is a possibility of chocolate around? I swear, he’s ten times worse than you.”
“I’m not that bad”, she muttered under her breath, remembering far too well her reaction to the pile of chocolate that had suddenly materialized in the control room a couple of weeks ago.
“I do not understand the fascination with this substance you call chocolate”, Teyla frowned. “It is far too sweet for my taste.”
“Well, you see, Teyla, there are all sorts of different flavours of chocolate on Earth. There is milk chocolate, which is very sweet, and then there is dark chocolate, which is more bitter.” John made a face. “There is even white chocolate, which tastes very different from all the others. And one must not forget chocolate together with caramel or peanuts or the fact that whichever country you go to, there’s always a new brand to try. ”
Teyla looked like she was sorry she’d asked when they finally reached mess hall and spotted Laura Cadman leaning against the wall just outside.
“Colonel, Dr. Weir,” she nodded at them, looking at Teyla and Ronon curiously. “Colonel, I thought you said…”
“They’re just coming in for a drink”, John explained quickly. “They’re no threat to the possible chocolate stash in there.
Ronon snorted. “It must be really important to you to get chocolate, after all the…precautions you’ve taken tonight.”
Laura frowned. “Precautions?”
“We’re just trying to hide from Rodney”, Elizabeth said quickly. “John is worried that if he got wind of our plans, all the chocolate - if there is any - would be gone in a heartbeat.”
“It probably would be”, the young Lieutenant agreed, following them to the mess hall. “Knowing Rodney’s insatiable appetite.”
The mess hall was deserted, just like Elizabeth had expected. John’s presence made the lights flicker on instantly and she looked around at the rows of empty tables.
“So, what’s the plan, Colonel?” She asked John softly, slipping her hand into his. “I assume you have one.”
John grinned, squeezing her hand quickly, before releasing it and wrapping an arm around her instead. “Don’t I always have one?”
“Indeed”, she agreed. “I’m not sure of the quality of your plans at all times, however.”
He pretended to look hurt and Laura chuckled. “Ouch.”
“I’ll have you know this is a very good plan”, John said proudly. “We just need to go into the kitchen and go through all the cabinets. As quietly and efficiently as possible.”
Ronon and Teyla exchanged a look, clearly agreeing on the insanity of Earth people, before the Satedan grinned. “Sounds like an excellent plan to me.”
*****
“This doesn’t look very good” Elizabeth sighed thirty minutes later, closing yet another cabinet door and climbing down from her chair. “No chocolate.”
So far their raid had only produced a handful of brownies and a few sachets of hot chocolate powder - Elizabeth had made a mental note to order more from Earth as soon as possible - but none of the solid variety of chocolate she craved. “Maybe we should just…”
John silenced her with a finger on her lips. “We’ve still got a few cabinets left. Don’t give up now, Elizabeth.”
She rolled her eyes but smiled, moving her chair. “Yes, John.”
In the end it was Teyla who came upon the jackpot, hidden in the very last cabinet, behind several bags of flour and sugar - obviously the kitchen staff had anticipated their visit. “Is this it?”
John’s eyes lit up at the sight of four large milk chocolate bars and a box of assorted chocolates that Teyla was holding at arm’s length. “I knew it!”
Elizabeth flopped down on her chair and smiled as Teyla graciously piled her findings on John’s arms and retreated to stand next to Ronon who was leaning against a wall, looking highly entertained. John nearly ripped open the box and presented the contents to Elizabeth. “Told you I’d get you chocolate. Take your pick.”
She hesitated for a moment, thinking about the kitchen staff before she remembered the Daedalus was leaving in a couple of days to get more supplies from Earth. She would just order more chocolate and cross her fingers it would actually get to Atlantis before anyone working in the kitchen noticed something was missing.
Her hand hovered over the box as she tried to decide where to start, the sight and smell of chocolate severely distracting her from thinking clearly. Just as her fingers descended on a piece of especially delicious-looking white chocolate, the lights in the main mess hall flashed back on.
“Damn.” John closed the box before Elizabeth managed to grab her prize, shoving it and the bars back into the cabinet. She glared.
“Oh no,” Laura muttered under her breath, her eyes flicking between the mess hall and the very pissed off Elizabeth. John gave the expedition leader an apologetic smile.
“You can wait a bit longer, can’t you?”
Before Elizabeth could get over her annoyance for being denied chocolate enough to answer, Ronon lifted a warning finger. “It’s McKay.”
John cursed under his breath and peeked out of the kitchen door at the approaching scientist, who was clearly headed for the kitchen. “Fantastic.”
“Someone should distract him”, Laura said, her eyes landing on Elizabeth. Three other pairs of eyes followed hers.
“Me?” Elizabeth shook her head, incredulous. First she had spent a good bit of time searching for chocolate, only to have to snatched away when it had been found, and now she needed to distract an equally chocolate-hungry Rodney McKay. “You’ve got to be joking.”
Rodney’s voice drifted from the mess hall. “Is someone there? Hello?”
“You know how to handle him”, John hissed, glancing at the closed cabinet door to make sure the chocolate hadn’t somehow managed to escape. “Go.”
Elizabeth scoffed, her eyes shooting daggers. “Fine.”
She waved her hand over the light sensor, hoping it would obey her instead of John and his ATA gene. It did and the light faded, leaving the kitchen bathed in darkness. Elizabeth stepped into the main mess hall, plastering a fake smile on her face.
“Rodney.”
The scientist looked surprised. “Elizabeth. What are you doing here this late?”
“I…uh…I wanted a cup of coffee.”
Rodney glanced at her empty hands. “You don’t have any.”
“Well…when I got here I changed my mind and went for water instead. You know how Carson is always saying I drink too much of coffee and all that.”
“There is such a thing as too much coffee?”
Elizabeth scratched her head, smiling innocently. “Apparently yes.”
“Ah well, I’m in direct need of some right now. I feel like I’m on the brink of something very important in the lab.” Rodney started walking around her and Elizabeth grimaced.
“Actually, Rodney, I wanted to ask you something.”
She desperately tried to think of a question as the scientist watched her expectantly. “Yes, Elizabeth? You know, I don’t have all night. My brilliant brain is required at the lab.”
“Well, I was just hoping you’d show me what you’re working on. I’m sure it’s something fascinating.”
Rodney looked suspicious. “You’ve never really been interested before. What is going on, Elizabeth?”
She clasped her hands in front of her. “Just curious as to what you’ve come up with now to benefit the city.”
“Oh. Well, I’d be more than happy to show you. After I get coffee.”
“Rodney, wait! You see, the thing is…I think we’re running low and…we should really start rationing.”
“Rationing coffee? Are you insane?”
“Yes, well…Look, why don’t you let me make you a hot chocolate instead? I’ll meet you back in the lab.”
Rodney sighed, but turned to walk away. “I suppose that is better than nothing. Although I can’t for the life of me think who would have drunk so much coffee when it was only a few weeks ago that the Daedalus…”
Elizabeth sighed in relief and was just about to turn back into the kitchen when Rodney’s voice stopped her. “By the way, Elizabeth, speaking about chocolate…I don’t suppose Sheppard managed to find you any, did he? Because I could really use some.”
“Um…I don’t think so. I’ll stop by our quarters and ask him”, she offered, hoping to sound convincing. Rodney seemed satisfied, strolling out of the mess muttering something to himself. Elizabeth returned to the kitchen to find Laura already making Rodney’s hot chocolate.
“Is he gone?”
She sighed. “Yes, John, he’s gone. And now I need to go and be stuck in his lab for God knows how long.”
“I’ll go”, Laura said, a mug of hot chocolate in hand. “It’s your day off for another…” she checked her watch, “hour and a half. I’ll just say you needed to attend to something else.”
“Are you sure? You don’t know how long Rodney can go on for if he’s really excited about something.”
“I’ll be fine.” Laura winked at her. “I can always remind him of the lovely few days I spent in his head. That will shut him up.”
Elizabeth smiled gratefully, reaching into the chocolate cabinet and pulling out a bar. “Here. You take this.”
“Thanks. Maybe I’ll even give some to Rodney, if he behaves.” The young Lieutenant smiled and left. Elizabeth turned to the others, suddenly feeling very tired.
Ronon and Teyla exchanged a look.
“We should go now. It is getting late and we have a mission tomorrow”, the Athosian woman said and Ronon nodded. “Good night.”
“Night.” Elizabeth sighed and rubbed her head. John watched her.
“Look, I’m sorry for making you deal with Rodney, it’s just…”
“Don’t worry about it.” She gave him a small smile. “Could I maybe have some chocolate now?”
*****
An hour later, stretched out on the bed, Elizabeth closed her eyes with a content smile. “I’ve eaten too much now.”
John chuckled. “Save the rest for later?”
“Yes please.” She opened her eyes again and watched him close the almost empty box and place it on the floor.
“So,” he rubbed her back slowly. “Is your day perfect now?”
“Hmm?” Elizabeth snuggled closer to his warmth.
“You said chocolate would make your day even better earlier.”
“Ah.” She grinned against the fabric of his shirt. “Well, I do have to say it’s been a quite good day.”
“Only a quite good?” He couldn’t help a slight disappointment in his voice.
“Well, there is still something else you can do to make it even better.” She lifted her head to find his eyes, a wicked smile on her lips.
He understood, grinning at her lazily. “I thought you were too full of chocolate.”
She nibbled at his full bottom lip. “Are you turning me down, John Sheppard?”
“I don’t know what on Earth might have given you that idea.” His hands slid under her shirt, up and down her back and she laughed.
“Thought so.”
*****