On Girlf@g by Janet W Hardy

[sparkindarkness]

So Janet W. Hardy is writing a book that she has a kickstarter page to announce. And the book is called Girlf@g. (I am not linking to it, the last thing I won’t is for even one link from me to add so much as a penny into having this homophobic book put on the shelves

Comments

[sparkindarkness]

The mere words she's used and the stereotyping and her insulting FAQs make it clear exactly what kind of book it is -if the title and her actrions didn't make her contempt for gay men extremely clear

She described him as a "gay seeming bi man" to me in her email. So she's using him to justify her homophobia. And look at her waving all these gay men around while still using slurs. Yet other people are trivialising her life? She uses insults stereotypes and tropes and slurs yet we're trivialising her?

The more I read of her the more I can't abide this fetishising homophobe

[gement]

"gay seeming bi man" waaaat

As someone in a gender-complex position who has to be very careful about how I represent myself, I'm going to selfishly say here that Hardy is adding more poison to the well, and using her position as a known kinky and poly educator to do it. This "I'm a lady and he likes me, I win a prize!" business adds a whole another layer to my trying to respectfully find men who can see me as a man, rather than straight men who see me as a girlfriend with an eccentricity.

One of the greatest compliments I've ever received was from a cis gay man who affectionately called me a slur, and by doing so said, "I see you as the man you want to be right now." It still doesn't mean I get to call myself that slur, at least not in mixed or non-intimate company. The line is not complicated, Hardy.

[sparkindarkness]

you can join me using the sapping fish of wrath

[stormcat]

The only part here I'm going to say anything on (you know me, silence does NOT equal disagreement) is the fetish for gay men. It's a psychological thing, fear of intimacy. If you're attracted to men who are flat-out not wired to be attracted to you, there's no fear that they'll get close to you; also, there's the lure of the unattainable. Often it's a phase; when girls* with it get a little older**, they start going after married men or other off-limits/distanced figures.

*I use this term to refer to maturity here, not age.
**Ditto -- emotionally older.

[sparkindarkness]

I can see that - which adds to another lair of fuckedupness.

[neurotic_rat]

(You have no idea now, how tempted I am to draw someone wielding a fish as a weapon, and making it into an LJ icon now...)

Ye, F-ing gods... when I first saw this, I thought it was some insulting word to describe lesbians (as if they need more of THAT).
Then I HAD to be curious and... Just... oh god... No... I do not need more rage-inducing, table-flipping worth of spew then ever. Though, I am not surprised by her behavior and response to you, and everyone that have tried talking to her, since it reminds me of the immature weeaboos I've encountered who act like that.
I was almost tempted to go into the hellfire try to... 'reason' with her. But then I realized how tiring it's going to be if I did that. I'm just praying for Kami that her donation drive on that offensive garbage doesn't come to fruition.

And pardon me for possibly being ignorant, but she says she's married to a gay man? What? Doesn't that make her straight? I'm trying to figure out if the poor guy is just marrying her because he's not out of the closet with other

[sparkindarkness]

Her excuse that others used it first is ridiculous. every slur has been used for years - that doesn't excuse people repeating them,

And loved by men as men? Because gay love is SO MUCH DIFFERENT from straight love? ye gods it gets worse

And personally I wouldn't let her or the gay basher into my home, I don't permit homophobes in my house. And many of our teens commit suicide -because of casual homophobia, including slurs! Which she then perpetuates. She has NO respect for our suffering - she just shows a willingness to exploit and use us - same as Julie Klausner (I actually think she's worse because she's not jnust using us she's fetishising us)

[gement]

I hadn't seen this yet when I'd posted above.

"loved by men as men" - this is getting gender-complicated. :-/

Some days I'm a guy. I use this phrase to describe that sense of visibility, of being acknowledged as myself with my trans* brain. Hardy is crossing the line in a number of ways, but going after that phrase is getting into trans issues, which it sounds like she might have going on too.

The slur is bad. The sloppy stereotyping is bad. But wanting to have one's shifting gender acknowledged is not fetishism.

[spinsterwithin]

Not only is she offensive her idea is incredibly ridiculous.

[sparkindarkness]

beyond on both counts

[phonoirlex]

To all of that, I would add that she's also helping perpetuate the rape culture. She doesn't just want to look at gay men, or watch them with each other. Instead, she wants a gay man, who she admits is highly unlikely to actually want her, to sleep with her.

While she never says she would rape a gay man, she's perfectly willing to very publicly talk about her attraction and her sexuality and needs with no regard for his feelings on the matter. Of course it's perfectly wonderful to publicly use another person for your own sexual gratification; who needs consent?

Ugh.

[sparkindarkness]

It's this encouragement of people to stalk and fetishise people who are utterly not interested in you and to reduce a marginalised person to sexualised objects. It' creepy and has been responsible for a lot of really shitty bheaviour towarfds gay men

And she wants to present that fetishisation as some kind of orientation in its own right - even using a slur to do so