Why do you expect one of us to be a woman in our gay male relationship?

[sparkindarkness]

This piece originally appeared at Womanist Musings where Renee has very generously allowed my random musings to appear on her excellent blogWhy do you expect one of us to be a woman in our gay male relationship

Comments

[touchstone]

So, question only related to this post in the most tangential of fashions. Went to an improv show Saturday, and in her bio in the program, one of the cast members thanked her 'lady-husband'. We're undecided on this phrase, yet. Is it in common use somewhere and we've just been missing it?

[klgaffney]

huh. 've never heard that one before? as far as i know/have experienced, a female spouse = wife, and a male spouse = husband. or sometimes, just "spouse."

[touchstone]

It didn't occur to me until I read your reply, but I suppose her partner might be in transition from M to F.

[klgaffney]

hee! yeah, that occurred to me after i posted it, the terms in current use are QUITE limited, indeed. =)

[pujaemuss]

If it helps break the mould some more, in my marriage, I cook, clean and tidy, because my wife honestly doesn't notice that things are dirty. She takes the bins out and does odd jobs around the house, but only if I write her a list of jobs and nag her to get them done.

My marriage is almost a perfect photo negative of my parents' in terms of chores!

PJW

[sparkindarkness]

This is why I clean - Beloved does not see dirt. Ever.

[lilisonna]

I like asking these questions of every couple that I know regardless of gender because I'm curious to know how the various partnerships handle the Division of Labor. The war over the rubbish bin, for example, is fascinating to me. Neither Touchstone nor I particularly mind this chore, and neither of us iron. (Iron? People still /do/ that?)

[sparkindarkness]

Ah but that's a different motivation and kettle of fish :)

I don't even know why this war has begun. But it has been declared and will remain!

My shirts need ironing or they're all wrinkly and crinkly and awful

[jerril]

My solution to the ironing question was to stop buying things that require ironing.

This is obviously a luxury of being a computer programmer. Management is just thankful when programmers show up in clothing that doesn't have lurid anime, heavy metal, or video game advertisements on it, or airbrushed fantasy art featuring two mostly naked women, a barbarian in a furry bikini, and a dragon.

If I were in a profession where I had to wear dress shirts I'd... probably find a Chinese laundry to do my shirts for me. Because I'd be payed more :D

[epic_cakes]

I get asked the same question about my girlfriend and I -_-

[sparkindarkness]

It's depressing. I need a big stick "bad gender toles" *SMACK* " bad!" *smack* "come back when you've left the damn 50s!"

[addisonalbright]

Hollywood doesn't help any. They perpetuate this, and all manner of stereotypes.

[sparkindarkness]

Constant stereotypical protrayals - both of homosexuals AND heterosexual relationships always with the 'standard' housewife