I am a homophobe

[sparkindarkness]

This piece originally appeared at Womanist Musings where Renee has very generously allowed my random musings to appear on her excellent blogOk blink, you read it right. No go back and read it again, trust me it’s not a typo. I am a homophobe

Comments

[sparkindarkness]

It's something I do a lot - I still do. I have to fight the instinct. Because you know - you KNOW - that if a criminal is court who is gay (ESPECIALLY A SEX CRIMINAL!) then it's all going to be about their sexuality. You know - KNOW - that if someone does something ridiculously stupid and they're gay, or says something stupid, or has multiple sex partners, or wears a daring outfit or is "too sexy" or ANYTHING like that - it's all going to be "blamed" on the gay and it will then turn back and be used to judge all of us

[becky_black]

Denying it won’t fix it. We all carry the stains our society leaves upon us.

I agree so much with that. We have to be truthful with ourselves if we're going to be armed against those thoughts when they happen. If I try to convince myself that I can never have a thought that is homophobic, racist, or prejudiced in whatever way, then when I do have such a thought, I won't recognise it for what it is and think twice about it. Where if I acknowledge that I can think things I find unnaccetable on closer examination, then I'm on my guard against them, I'm ready to challenge myself.

I can't control every stray thought that crosses my mind, or every ingrained reaction, but I can have a second thought after it telling myself that the first one was stupid and to think about it a bit harder.

[sparkindarkness]

Exactly - denial means we won't be aware and we can't fix it. You can't fix a problem you don't know even exists - or refuse to acknowledge exists.