Poor Mad Secretary
Do not yell at Mad Secretary. She is well trained in the art of Haddock-Fu and will hurt you if you annoy her.
Yelling at Mad Secretary achieves nothing. She has been yelled at by lawyers, police, barristers, politicians and judges. She has been yelled at by far more intimidating and scary people than you will ever be. She has haddocked them all. She is not cowed, she is talking quietly because she is desperately trying not to laugh at you. And yes, when you come into the office she is stood behind you miming killing you. (Don’t take it personally, she enjoys trying to break my professional lawyer face).
I am not psychically connected to Mad Secretary. You cannot yell at her when you are mad at me - I will not be vicariously yelled at. Nor will I have to put up with stroppy secretary, she is professional even if she is insane, but she may try and make me laugh at you which will make me distracted through your meeting as I try not to crack up. She will also leave notes on your file - and we will all try not to laugh at you whenever we see you.
Like myself, Mad Secretary does not have the power to change the world. She cannot secretly solve all your problems, yelling at her will not change that. Similarly, she cannot control me, the answers I give, when I am available etc. She cannot intone my name three times and have me appear in a wisp of sulphurous smoke (we spoke about including it in the contract but apparently it sets off the fire alarms). Yelling at her won’t endow her with any of these powers. Yelling at her will not make me appear. Be assured if I AM really there and she IS lying and saying I’m not/I’m in a meeting or whatever then she has good reason to do so, she will not change her mind just because you yelled. And if I am not available and she takes a message and I will call you back - that means just that! I will call you back. Do NOT ring every 10 minutes for TWO HOURS (LITERALLY?!) and ask if I’m back yet then yell at Mad Secretary when I’m not. When I’m back, I will ring you. Until then kindly bugger off before I lend Mad Secretary a Hound.
Beware her wrath, while she does not have Hounds she has her own weapons. If you persist in throwing a hissy fit on the phone, not leaving a message, not speaking to my voicemail and not sending me an email then she will put you on hold and your mind will slowly melt from hour after hour of Green Sleeves. Hah, fear her medieval music of doom!
Yelling at Mad Secretary achieves nothing. She has been yelled at by lawyers, police, barristers, politicians and judges. She has been yelled at by far more intimidating and scary people than you will ever be. She has haddocked them all. She is not cowed, she is talking quietly because she is desperately trying not to laugh at you. And yes, when you come into the office she is stood behind you miming killing you. (Don’t take it personally, she enjoys trying to break my professional lawyer face).
I am not psychically connected to Mad Secretary. You cannot yell at her when you are mad at me - I will not be vicariously yelled at. Nor will I have to put up with stroppy secretary, she is professional even if she is insane, but she may try and make me laugh at you which will make me distracted through your meeting as I try not to crack up. She will also leave notes on your file - and we will all try not to laugh at you whenever we see you.
Like myself, Mad Secretary does not have the power to change the world. She cannot secretly solve all your problems, yelling at her will not change that. Similarly, she cannot control me, the answers I give, when I am available etc. She cannot intone my name three times and have me appear in a wisp of sulphurous smoke (we spoke about including it in the contract but apparently it sets off the fire alarms). Yelling at her won’t endow her with any of these powers. Yelling at her will not make me appear. Be assured if I AM really there and she IS lying and saying I’m not/I’m in a meeting or whatever then she has good reason to do so, she will not change her mind just because you yelled. And if I am not available and she takes a message and I will call you back - that means just that! I will call you back. Do NOT ring every 10 minutes for TWO HOURS (LITERALLY?!) and ask if I’m back yet then yell at Mad Secretary when I’m not. When I’m back, I will ring you. Until then kindly bugger off before I lend Mad Secretary a Hound.
Beware her wrath, while she does not have Hounds she has her own weapons. If you persist in throwing a hissy fit on the phone, not leaving a message, not speaking to my voicemail and not sending me an email then she will put you on hold and your mind will slowly melt from hour after hour of Green Sleeves. Hah, fear her medieval music of doom!