10:16 pm
nervously stroking my beard
alone on love-seat
fetal position
swirling thoughts
no mercy, no cooperation
much desire, no talent
swirling thoughts
buzz in my ears
shame in my lap
swirling shame

ardent down pours
of tumultuous grace
superfluous as fingertips
tainted by laconic
non-flowing speech
without end
upon bulging heads
each and every conditional morning
caught with absolute, complete, altogether
unknowingness
of the eyes (lidded film cans)
played out through the inward projector
across taut screens
of milky white flesh

Why did my father say that to me???
Why did he say that I wasn't worth a fuck??
I was just a little boy.
Why did he make me believe that lie for so long?
Why did he make my little spirit hide from the world?
I wish that i could go back into my mother's womb and be born again into your loving arms.

I miss you so much already. I hope that you have a very good time tonight. I bet you look so beautiful right now. I really really hope that you take pics tonight ( Read more... )

It is so so suck-y that I missed you earlier. That is why I don't like to sleep. I seem to miss so much when I do sleep. Now I have to feel all blue because I can't talk to you yet ( Read more... )

Yup, that's right, no more booze for me. I have been planning this for a while but there is nothing like a DUI to make those plans hurry the hell up! Yeah , you read that correctly, a DUI. I am sure that most of you are disappointed in me and I can't blame you. I am completely ashamed, embarrassed, and disappointed. I know that everything ( Read more... )

I don't know what to type but i need something to kill time with. it is very difficult to wait for her to come on line. I have been off and on since about 8 this morning. My guess is that she isn't coming on because she is mad at me. I hope that my guess is very wrong. I shouldn't have reacted the way i did. I guess i just kinda felt hurt. ( Read more... )

I wonder why she would want to hurt me with that "joke" she made?
Perhaps my jokes were hurting her. I certainly didn't mean to hurt her. I never do. If I did, I take it back!