(Untitled)

[space_heart_boy]

[Private, unhackable

Comments

[duo_death_god]

Considering what we were up against, I'm going to say the fact that none of us died is a sign that you were actually doing a good job.

[space_heart_boy]

Thanks for the vote of confidence Duo.

[an_heero]

You did fine. Tactics weren't our problem.

[space_heart_boy]

Still, I can't help but feel that I could have done something.

[seedwlives2spar]

Hey Quatre... What happened out there? I was talking to you about efficiency and then everything got a little blurry.

I seem to recall getting smashed apart by a mobile suit though...

[space_heart_boy]

You don't remember? I guess I better tell you.

During our argument, you suddenly started fighting like a mad-man. You managed to destroy the cockpits of three mobile suits all at once...while they were retreating.

You also tried an insane maneuver against one of the three Gundams that showed up, and it failed. But Lockon managed to get them to retreat. And at that point is when Zechs Merquise in the Tallgeese showed up and practically demolished your suit.

It was like something inside of you snapped, and you weren't quite yourself anymore. And when that happened, you became a...well, to take a term from Andrew Waltfeld, a berserker.

[seedwlives2spar]

Oh... I clearly remember a white mobile suit attacking me and trying my hardest to keep the cockpit protected for that scene.

Oh and the insane maneuver... I think I recall that barely... It was insane... I...

But they were retreating when I attacked them? I wouldn't... would I?

What AM I? You have seen me go berserk before right? I wish I knew why.

[space_heart_boy]

Normally, you wouldn't have attacked them. I think that the state you go in changes your perceptions enough so that you'd do things you wouldn't ever do otherwise.

I wish I knew why you've started going berserk in battle. Maybe if or when it happens again, we can figure out why. I could probably hazard a guess, but until I actually know I won't say anything.

[seedwlives2spar]

Hey look, Quatre... I know I had a hand in how your feeling right now and I'm sorry. Sometimes things happen that are outside your control, even things inside of you. Like when I go Berserk. I have to live with that, people can say "oh its not your fault" "there must be some explanation" or even "you were awesome out there." And it still wouldn't change the fact that when I go Berserk I hurt people.

I have to live with that. I am starting to understand what Andrew meant about enemies. Sometimes you just have to live with what happens, whether its your fault or not.

Just like sometimes you have to take a life, whether you want to or not. So Quatre, what will it be? Sit here and mope? Or live your life?

1/2

[space_heart_boy]

I already understand that I have to live with my decisions. If I wasn't I wouldn't be here. I would've listened to my father and stayed home like a good son and heir.

And since I just can't sit at home and do nothing, I'll do what I have to in order to move on and do what I think is necessary to acheive peace.

2/2

[space_heart_boy]

I won't promise to not internalize things though, because that's just who I am. But I won't let it bother me as much as I have been.

Thanks Kira.

Re: 2/2

[seedwlives2spar]

Yeah, I have been learning that lesson too. Its really great that we were made roommates. I don't think I would have survived here if it weren't for you.