Fic: Five AUs I'm Never Going to Write (Maybe) (SGA, John/Rodney, G)

[sp23]

I made a post last night in my journal regarding the plethora of AUs in SGA fanfiction. In an effort to amuse myself today, I began thinking up AUs I would never write. This is the result.

Title: Five AUs I'm Never Going to Write (Maybe)
Author: Sandy
Pairing: John/Rodney
Word Count: ~370
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine. Not even the AU versions



Five AUs I'm Never Going to Write (Maybe)

1. John Sheppard owns a pet grooming salon where brilliant but acerbic Concert Pianist Rodney McKay brings his twin poodles to get a Continental Cut. At first the fur flies as these two nearly come to blows over the proper way to shave a poodle, but before long, the pups aren't the only thing that get some trim.


2. John Sheppard is a volcanologist and has come to the island nation of Pelleponipelle in the South Pacific to study the newly active Mt. Poni. Ronon Dex and Teyla Emmagen are island natives who follow the old religion. When they discover that brilliant but cranky tourist Rodney McKay is a virgin, they decide to sacrifice him to the volcano in hopes of stopping the impending eruption. John learns of their plan, but is it too late to rescue the man he's come to love?


3. It's 1880 and John Sheppard has come to the sleepy cow town of Pegasus Gulch in search of gunslinger Acastus Kolya, the man who murdered his father, the town sheriff. Rodney McKay is a brilliant but caustic newspaper reporter from Chicago tracking down Acastus Kolya in the hopes of getting an interview with the notorious killer. When Rodney is taken captive by Kolya, it's up to John to save his life, discovering in the process just how much the grouchy reporter has come to mean to him.


4. Brilliant but irascible Professor Dr. Rodney McKay has retreated to the small college town of Mt. Atlantis after he is left at the altar by the brilliant and beautiful but cold Samantha Carter. After purchasing a run-down but charming cottage, he hires handyman John Sheppard to paint and patch the house. It doesn't take long before the windows aren't the only broken thing that John repairs.


5. After his sister's death, brilliant but splenetic Dr. Rodney McKay finds himself the guardian of his five year old niece, Madison. Totally at a loss as to how to care for the young girl, he turns to his handsome next door neighbor and kindergarten teacher, John Sheppard, for advice. Little did Rodney realize that it wasn't only lessons in child care that John would give him.