Best Worst Line Ever.

[southernweirdo]

From The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson:

"A cheese strand dangled from her mouth to the edge of her left nipple, and I wanted to rappel it like a mozzarella commando to storm her lovely breasts."

This is either the best or worst writing I have ever encountered. Either way, Doubleday felt it was worth a $1.25 million dollar advance for a debut

Comments

[tracy_d74]

Okay, that line gives me hope that one day I will be published. :)

[kmarkhoover]

haha that line makes me think I'm just wasting my time :P

[southernweirdo]

Tracy -- Ha ha! :) I'm with Mark, though. I'm not sure if this is a sign of hope or a reason to be hopeless these days...

[tracy_d74]

Well, yes it does kinda make me go, "Why I am on draft 5 of Diyari. I should just send them draft 1." But I um . . . don't want people posting a sentence from my book and saying, "Wow, this is kinda . . . ewww." So that is why I am on draft 5 and will do a draft 6.

[jongibbs]

$1.25 million, huh? Good luck to the guy.

That line about the mozzerella commando sounds like something from a Raymond Chandler novel, and he did okay without being a literary genius :)

[southernweirdo]

... But! But! Chandler WAS a literary genious!!! He may not have been appreciated in his day, but his reputation is lasting and getting better all the time. The Big Sleep is amazing.

[kmarkhoover]

I wish I could say I was surprised. News like this just depresses me even more about this profession.

[southernweirdo]

Sung to the melody of "Hey Jude":

"Hey dude. Don't make it bad. Take a bad line and make it better..."

;)

Don't let it get you down. I like the saying, "don't get bitter get better!" I use this as my mantra. But, you're right, too. I wonder what good is it doing me to get better if this is what is considered great? .Sigh.

Oh well. I'll keep writing. I'm nothing if not persistent when it comes to this crazy industry.

[a_r_williams]

I don't know, I kind of like the line; but with that being said, I also think reading an entire book with that type of style would become...tiring.

[southernweirdo]

It was a memorable line. That's for sure!

I read entire novels without remembering a single line fairly often. At least he has a way of making himself memorable -- and to be fair, the book really wasn't that bad. In fact, I enjoyed it overall. This line is really not representative of the general tone. Which only made it stick out like a sore thumb.

[bogwitch64]

Hmmm...interesting line, to say the least. I am wondering how that string of cheese got there to begin with.

[southernweirdo]

It brings rancid breast milk to my mind. *shudders*

Seriously, in this scene they were eating a veggie pizza. She was eating naked. But still, for some reason, I just don't find cheesy breasts all that appealing. I like cheese. I like breasts. But stick them together and you get ... Ew! Yucky! Gag!

I wonder why that is?

*shrugs*

[bogwitch64]

I think rancid breast milk would do it for me. Yech!