The Aftermath
An excerpt from "My Life" by Ennis Del Mar as told to Soulan and annotated by Jack Twist.
When I got home Jack was there, sitting on the couch watching the television. He rose the instant I walked in and came to me, his face somber. I began to cry when he took me in his arms because I wanted to wrap my own arms around him and hold him close, but I couldn't. He drew me into the bedroom, crawled onto the mattress and pulled me to him. We lay on our sides in a clinch, he hugging me tightly while I could only drape my arms loosely around him, just enough to feel his body. It wasn't enough. While he squeezed me in his arms, I wept into his neck. Jack really was dead; this life I had with him was an illusion. I was growing old and leaving him behind in his youth. When I looked at his face now, it reminded me of our last real day together and what I had passed up. He'd given me so much for the last twenty years but what had I done for him? As I sobbed he rubbed circles on my back, kissed my face and whispered soothing words. "I miss you so much!" I choked out and his hands stopped moving. I felt his body stiffen. Then I knew that he was remembering.
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I thought Ennis was fine with what we had goin and was gone a just drift along with me like this til the end. What cut me up was findin out he missed me from before. That it was my old self he wanted and I couldnt give that back to him cause we missed our chance. When he said he missed me it brought my words back to me and everthin I'd felt the night that I turned my back to him. After we stopped talkin and he fell asleep, I stayed awake a long time wonderin if there was a way to get round the rules.