After I Turned Jack Away
An excerpt from "My Life" by Ennis Del Mar as told to Soulan and annotated by Jack Twist.
I fought to keep my eyes dry as I watched his truck back out onto the road and roar away. I felt the girls watching me but couldn't bring myself to look at them. If I'd been alone when he arrived, our embrace would have flowed along its natural course to my bed, and the thought of the time with him I'd just given up hit me so hard I nearly dropped to my knees. But I was only thinking of the weekend time, because forever could never be in the cards. Even living out where I did, there were eyes to see and mouths to talk. At last I turned and walked to the pickup, bracing myself for the questions. But they didn't come, and we rode in silence. After a few minutes, Jenny turned on the radio and they listened to their favorite station until it turned to static, and I kept my eyes fixed on the solid line in the road until it turned to dashes. With a lump in my throat, I thought of him driving all the way back to Texas and tried to hold onto his see you in a month. But in my heart I knew that ribbon of highway that connected us was fraying.1
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1 I really didnt want a read this cause it is probly my worst memory. You must know just what I was feelin cause it was almost like when you left your husband and went to see your guy after he came back from India or wherever he was from over there and he told you he got married. Cept that you moved on and it seems like you got a real nice life now with somebody else. It was easier for you cause you had lots a choices but me I had a smaller pool to work with and it was damn hard no impossible to find another guy in that time and place who could make me feel like Ennis did and liked to do the same things (I mean outside a sex). So yeah hard to believe I kept comin back but Well, I can't complain now and this might not a happened if I'd a quit him.
What does friends locked mean?