1st pickle [audio] [December 11th, afternoon]

[picklesplz]

[The feed opens to the sound of rustling, as someone plops down on the floor, rather comfortably.]

So.

[The tale-tell sound of Kirin scratching his butt.]

Now that I've gotten enough time to get over it and since you folks probably get your panties in a twist over people getting justice by their own hand and stuff.

[A small, disdainful sniff.]

How's one

Comments

[PERMAVOICE]

[nailbitinghabit]

...you're not still on about that, are you.

[nailbitinghabit]

They're not dead.

[picklesplz]

No, death would be a comfort, clearly.

[nailbitinghabit]

People don't begrudge you your eating habits, do they?

[picklesplz]

My eating habits are healthy and don't threaten to kill anyone.

[nailbitinghabit]

Neither do theirs.

[picklesplz]

They do and they ain't healthy.

[nailbitinghabit]

[He made this decision a couple of tags ago but... yeah, this only firms his resolve to eat cake at you one day. Whether over the communicator or in person, he hasn't decided yet, but it will happen.]

...

Nothing and no one there actively threatened you.

[picklesplz]

[Kirin will be so proud of you for taking up the trolling... once he's done beating you up with a stick for that.]

They did!

[Kirin scoffs.]

You're acting like an accomplice right now.

[nailbitinghabit]

[The joys of a family reunion.]

All I'm doing is pointing out you're not very reasonable about this.

[picklesplz]

[So near Christmas, too. It's almost a miracle.]

You be reasonable when you've survived a near successful assassination attempt!

[nailbitinghabit]

Well, no one's tried yet around here.

[So much confidence in his zen, you have no idea.]

[picklesplz]

[Testily.]

And I doubt anyone will, if you don't provoke them first.

[nailbitinghabit]

For which I see absolutely no reason.

But, does this mean you provoked the pastry shop first?

[picklesplz]

I suppose they find my existence offensive.

[Pause.]

Just like I do theirs.

[nailbitinghabit]

[There's a barely audible sigh on the other end of the line. At least you can't hear him facepalm.]

And that means you are somehow compelled to murder each other at every chance encounter.