Epic Series Re-Read: Chapter Thirty
This one is pretty short, because it's incredibly boring, and also I have a whole load of homework to do. Enjoy :)
Chapter 30: Irresistible
PREVIOUSLY, ON THE EPIC RE-READ,
Alice left. O NOES!
Surprise, surprise, Chapter 30 opens with a lot of Bella-whine. God, she has so much to worry about guys. She has to find J.Jenks, saver her baby, explain the sitch to Tanya, learn to fight, paint her toenails, buy groceries...
OMG YAY TANYA IS COMING!
So um, with so much to worry about, Bella and Eddie go back to their LOVE SHACK to *gag* have a bunch of sex. "His arms were locked around me like steel girders." I don't know what the hell girders are but that doesn't sound very fun to me. just sayin.
Anyway since they think they're gonna die in a month, they just want to have all the sex they can before it's too late.
Blah, blah, the next morning they have to get ready to see their guests. Bella wants Edward to teach her to fight. He freaks out about it. I imagine he looks something like this:
He's all "it won't matter anyway" and she's all "right so let's just let them kill me right away." and edward is all "oh, um yeah, okay."
Then they head towards the "big house", which sounds weird to me, and talk some more about the Volturi.
Ok so Alec can like cut off everyone's sense. Awesome.
WAIT, EXCEPT OUR SUPER SPESHUL BELLA-SUE! She wants to try to fight him, but Edward basically tells her she's a dumbass.
Also, she wants to kill Demetri, the tracker, so that someone can run away with Rensemee. But Edward is all "sookie Demetri is mine." Gotsta kill him for Alice or something. Idk.
HEY, HERE'S WOLFY JACOB. He looks at Nessie. Um, yeah that's about the only thing he does in this chapter.
Then we find out some stuff about Elezar. OMG, he worked for the Volturi. But he's cool, guys, don't worry. Also, he has the lamest gift ever. "He has an instinctive feel for the gifts of others." Poor guy got gipped.
This sentence makes me laugh: "He has to really concentrate with humans, though, because the latent ability is so nebulous."
Big words, Smeyer~
So yeah they get to the house and stress out for awhile about how to arrange Nessie's coming out party. Jacob and Bella and Nessie hang out in the dining room. Jacob "lets" her hold Rensemee. That freaks me out.
NOW I GET REALLY FREAKED OUT CUZ NESSIE STARTS TALKING. ewww.
She's a lot like her mommy:
i.e. "What if they don't like me?" and "This is my fault."
But Bella tells her what a special snowflake she is. Then Tanya gets here.
Edward talks to them and tells them they are all in grave danger. They promise not to be judgmental about what he has to show them.
They freak out when they see Nessie (finally, a reaction that makes sense). They're all OH SHIT WE GOTTA LEAVE. WTF DID YOU DO, EDWARD?
Eddies all "I am her biological father and she is a half-vampire. My wife has taken to immortality amazing finesse."
Nessie shows Carmen some stuff with her *magical powers* and then everyone else too. They are dazzled. Everyone loves Nessie again. Thank God, all is right with the world. Maybe their plan will work after all.
But Bella remembers that alice left and GETS REALLY SAD.
Discussion Questions:
1. What do you think of Bella's fightin' plans?
2. What is your latent, nebulous abilty?
3. Why does everyone in this book have to be so special and awesome and dazzling all the time?
4. Um. why was this chapter so boring?
5. How did I do?
Chapter 30: Irresistible
PREVIOUSLY, ON THE EPIC RE-READ,
Alice left. O NOES!
Surprise, surprise, Chapter 30 opens with a lot of Bella-whine. God, she has so much to worry about guys. She has to find J.Jenks, saver her baby, explain the sitch to Tanya, learn to fight, paint her toenails, buy groceries...
OMG YAY TANYA IS COMING!
So um, with so much to worry about, Bella and Eddie go back to their LOVE SHACK to *gag* have a bunch of sex. "His arms were locked around me like steel girders." I don't know what the hell girders are but that doesn't sound very fun to me. just sayin.
Anyway since they think they're gonna die in a month, they just want to have all the sex they can before it's too late.
Blah, blah, the next morning they have to get ready to see their guests. Bella wants Edward to teach her to fight. He freaks out about it. I imagine he looks something like this:
He's all "it won't matter anyway" and she's all "right so let's just let them kill me right away." and edward is all "oh, um yeah, okay."
Then they head towards the "big house", which sounds weird to me, and talk some more about the Volturi.
Ok so Alec can like cut off everyone's sense. Awesome.
WAIT, EXCEPT OUR SUPER SPESHUL BELLA-SUE! She wants to try to fight him, but Edward basically tells her she's a dumbass.
Also, she wants to kill Demetri, the tracker, so that someone can run away with Rensemee. But Edward is all "sookie Demetri is mine." Gotsta kill him for Alice or something. Idk.
HEY, HERE'S WOLFY JACOB. He looks at Nessie. Um, yeah that's about the only thing he does in this chapter.
Then we find out some stuff about Elezar. OMG, he worked for the Volturi. But he's cool, guys, don't worry. Also, he has the lamest gift ever. "He has an instinctive feel for the gifts of others." Poor guy got gipped.
This sentence makes me laugh: "He has to really concentrate with humans, though, because the latent ability is so nebulous."
Big words, Smeyer~
So yeah they get to the house and stress out for awhile about how to arrange Nessie's coming out party. Jacob and Bella and Nessie hang out in the dining room. Jacob "lets" her hold Rensemee. That freaks me out.
NOW I GET REALLY FREAKED OUT CUZ NESSIE STARTS TALKING. ewww.
She's a lot like her mommy:
i.e. "What if they don't like me?" and "This is my fault."
But Bella tells her what a special snowflake she is. Then Tanya gets here.
Edward talks to them and tells them they are all in grave danger. They promise not to be judgmental about what he has to show them.
They freak out when they see Nessie (finally, a reaction that makes sense). They're all OH SHIT WE GOTTA LEAVE. WTF DID YOU DO, EDWARD?
Eddies all "I am her biological father and she is a half-vampire. My wife has taken to immortality amazing finesse."
Nessie shows Carmen some stuff with her *magical powers* and then everyone else too. They are dazzled. Everyone loves Nessie again. Thank God, all is right with the world. Maybe their plan will work after all.
But Bella remembers that alice left and GETS REALLY SAD.
Discussion Questions:
1. What do you think of Bella's fightin' plans?
2. What is your latent, nebulous abilty?
3. Why does everyone in this book have to be so special and awesome and dazzling all the time?
4. Um. why was this chapter so boring?
5. How did I do?