[Fanfiction - The GazettE] Whispers of Children Reita/Aoi [3/?]
Title: Whispers of Children
Author: sorrowofanangel
Chapter: 3 of ?
Genre: Romance, angst, mental illness, 1st person narrative (more to add as we go ~)
Band: The GazettE
Pairing: Reita x Aoi/ Aoi x Reita (main) Kai x Uruha/ Uruha x Kai, Reita x Kai (one sided)
WARNINGS: Strong language, depression, mental illness, (more to add as we go ~)
DISCLAIMER: Yes, I own them for Reita ish mah BITCH!! (O.e) Noooo sadly they own me D:'
Rating: R
Synopsis: "I moved away to escape my past. Foolishly I believed a new start would help me forget. Help me move on. What I hadn't realised... was that it will follow you wherever you go. No one can know. No one. And that includes Yuu..."
Summary: Akira makes a decision about Yuu's sudden confession.
Notes: I don't think I can say sorry enough times to apologize for the lateness in this chapter. I've had a tough couple of months... Comments are much loved as always mai lovelies (^o^*)
The previous chapters can be found in my Fanfic archive (HERE)
*
Your lips capturing mine in sweet serenity;
With arms that could lift a thousand times my weight;
Into a grey sky;
Filled with sadness;
Escaping loneliness;
You held me high and kept me safe;
Kept me above ground in case I should fall;
Now I leave you here;
Isolated…Embracing loneliness;
Aki…Won’t you come and rescue me?
- - -
I watch his lips move. Time and again I see the lips part in subtle movements, his tongue elevating with each word he speaks to me.
But I can barely hear the guy. No matter how much I try and listen to the feedback the publisher is giving me on my manuscript, it seems my mind can’t help but linger on the events of this morning when I’d dropped Yuu off at school.
His confession had wracked my mind into a further state of discomfiture. As if I thought it wasn’t enough the first time round.
I wasn’t the type to admit it but . . . I was severely worried for him. Even if he’d become the sole source of my aggravation these past couple of weeks. And with my limit of patience that was saying something.
He left the hamper on my doorstep. The note meant for me to find.
I sigh inwardly and nod as yet another compliment is paid to my written chapter; the printed copy held in between the publisher’s hands shaking vigorously as he waves it around, a large grin on his face.
I try to smile back but I can’t. Usually I feel a happy warmth fill my chest whenever someone likes my work this much but . . . for some reason I couldn’t push this heavy feeling of worry away from myself.
It was frustrating me. Growing up with two older brothers and parents who never gave a fuck taught me never to concern myself with others who were of no concern to me. It became my motto for nine years; ever since I turned thirteen and threw my first punch at a kid twice my size.
I’d thought those days of me caring were long gone; perhaps this time I was wrong.
It seems a lifetime before I’m given the deadline for the next chapter and I can finally leave the office. Trudging past wide office areas with phones ringing off the hook every five seconds and the tap tap tapping of frantic fingers against keyboards . . .
I glanced at my watch to find I had been here almost three hours; my stomach rumbling at the acknowledgement that it was midday and in need of some lunch.
But I knew I couldn’t go home and act like everything was normal. I was far too distracted. Too worried about -
Too worried about Yuu . . .
I annoy myself that I’m actually biting my lip subconsciously and I push my glasses up my nose as I descend the winding staircase to the ground floor of the building.
Perhaps I should pay a visit to Yuu after school? Just to make sure everything’s alright.
I stop abruptly as the entrance doors separate before me; cursing myself that I should be so pathetically worried about a teenager I’ve barely known for five minutes.
But why should I care? For all I know he could be playing me for a joke.
No . . . don’t be stupid. Deep down you know that’s ridiculous.
I let my hand run wearily through the strands of my hair; lingering against the back of my head as I scrunch my fist tight.
So what am I gonna do?
My thoughts are still running over themselves while I make my way into the car park and seat myself in my Mustang. Inconclusive as always, I turn on the radio and rest an elbow against the car door, narrowing my eyes as I gaze out the window; running the past conversations I’d had with Yuu over and over again in my head.
There had to be a reason for all of this. Perhaps he really was just pleading for help from a stranger and wasn’t thinking at the time; probably why he was so shy and defiant towards me. That and begging me not to tell the police or his parents or anyone else for that matter.
And that bruise on his face . . .
I can’t help but let the helplessness invade. There was something he was hiding. I just had to lure it out of him. Make him trust me.
He’s involved me in this now and I know for sure that something’s wrong.
So I’m going to do something about it.
*
I wait patiently for the bell; the school grounds eerily quiet until the loud ring blares throughout the entire area and I’m suddenly joined by a steady stream of cars and school buses ready to take everyone home.
In fact, Yuu’s school was a lot more populated than I had first anticipated, the grounds suddenly swarming with students as they made their way home.
I scanned the crowds for Yuu; trying to spot his raven coloured hair and that leather shoulder bag of his.
To my delight, I locate him only a few minutes later, bending down to tie the shoelace of his sneakers after waving goodbye to a few classmates.
I figure now’s my chance and I exit the car to greet him.
In particular, I hadn’t even stopped to consider whether Yuu would like to see me or not. He’d ran out of the car this morning when he’d confessed his secret to me. I knew the chances of that happening again were on a higher scale.
But I had to try. Even if it didn’t work out as planned, I couldn’t just sit behind my computer and let this get to me. I’d done that before and look where it had got me,
Aki, you need to hide!!
“Oh fuck off and leave me alone.” I whisper, pushing my way through the excitable crowds as I move closer to Yuu; who was still oblivious to my presence and setting about tying his other shoelace once the other was done.
I don’t even know what I’m going to start with; and even as I’d hoped the words would come once Yuu was in closer proximity, I couldn’t have been more wrong, my tongue sealing tightly behind my teeth as I come to stand beside him.
I wait for him to finish, although I’m surprised he hasn’t recognised my own shoes being so close to his own.
It takes a while so I cough loudly.
It does the trick and Yuu snaps his head up in surprise, his eyes seeking to adjust as he sees me hovering over him; obviously taking a while to make sure he wasn’t imagining anything.
I’m not sure what to do so I let a small smile pass over my lips.
That scares him and he shoots to his feet,
“Akira!” he blurts out, and I watch as he takes a couple of wary steps back, “W-What are you d-doing here?!”
I try to act calm and let my hands slip inside the pockets of my jeans, “Checking up on you.” I shrug, my eyes running over his trembling form, clutching his leather bag to his stomach like some sort of sacred artefact, “Do you really think I’d let you go home alone after what I saw this morning?”
Yuu’s eyes drop to his feet; and I’m impressed he’s stuck around this long,
“Come on.” I murmur after a while, “Let’s get you home before your parents worry.”
I make a move to go but he stays rooted to the spot, eyes remaining glued to his toes,
“Yuu?” I ask tentatively, reaching out to tap his shoulder, “Let’s get you home eh?”
“Don’t touch me.” he mumbles, rolling his shoulder back so my hand meets air instead, “I don’t need you to take me home.”
I retract my hand and replace it back in the pocket of my jeans, staring at him even as he continues determinedly not to look at me in the eye,
“Alright.” I say simply, making a quick sweep of the area, “But you’re in for a long walk home. All the buses have gone.”
I can tell he doesn’t want to have to raise his gaze, his chin only lifting a millimetre or so as he looks over towards the school gates; silence descending the grounds now that all the students have gone and cars have set off for home again,
“I’d rather walk than be with you anyway.” he says at last, setting a shaky foot forward and pushing past me shyly.
I watch him for a while, though his agonisingly slow pace is somewhat exaggerated,
“Oi.” I call after him, unable to help but smile as he turned around predictably and I throw my car keys towards him; of which he catches in both hands.
I smile as he looks at me awkwardly,
“Get in the car okay?” I say, hoping to sound as friendly as I mean to, “And pick a CD for the road.”
Yuu looks down into his palms, slowly letting the metal object slip from his fingers and onto the concrete path below.
I should have been worrying about how many scratches that’s gonna leave but I don’t. It’s the way his eyes stare at me with such torturing resentment that stops me from doing so. All at once it seems that for a split second, everything in his world has torn apart. Or at least, I’ve somehow upset him more than intended,
“I don’t need you.” he spits at me, stumbling back on his feet before turning to walk away again and I am left, once more, with the dumbfounded position of looking after him. Turning his back on me as though I were nothing more but a stranger in a street,
“Yuu, wait!” I call after him, jogging forward to scoop my car keys from the pavement before following. It pleases me to an extent that he doesn’t attempt to run nor change his pace whatsoever to make it harder for me.
He does, however, give me a glare that’s fit to kill, and I have to work up some sort of courage to get my words out,
“I’m only making sure you’re alright.” I tell him genuinely, sighing as the clouds overhead turn dark and I feel spots of rain land on the shoulders of my jacket, “If you’re worried about me telling someone about the note then you have to believe I’m not going to okay?”
He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t even glance at me. He just keeps walking…
Walking away from me…
“Yuu -“ I try again, about to lay a hand on his shoulder before I remember the last reaction he’d taken. I drop it to my side instead,
“Look, no matter what happens, I know that you wrote that note for a reason.” I persist, both of us now a considerable distance past the school gates, “And I know you didn’t exactly plan on someone like me finding it when you left that hamper but -“
“- Damn right I didn’t!” Yuu interrupts me, his foot landing in a puddle a little harsher than necessary and I flinch as most of it splashes up my clothes,
“Alright fine!” I huff, “You wanna get yourself in a strop and tuck away inside a little bubble of safety then that’s fine by me but at least let me do something to make it up to you!”
Yuu’s lips purse to the side for a second, “Like what?!” he stops abruptly and I have to catch myself before I bump into him, “Y-You show up at my school! You follow me and then tell me you want to take me home?!” his face his dark as he seethes at me, and I can’t help but focus on that large bruise by his cheek, “I know what you really want to do and I’m not falling for it!”
“And what is that exactly?” I say lamely, folding my arms across my chest, “You’re worried I’m going to rape you or something?!”
Even in the rain, Yuu’s cheeks manage to grow hot, “N-No…”
“Then what?” I insist, tucking my jacket around me tighter as the rain picks up, now slapping heavily against the pavement,
“You’re going to take me to the police!” Yuu shouts frantically, “I know what you people are like! Y-You all make out to be n-nice and… and caring when in actual fact you don’t care at all!” I watch sadly as he shakes, rain smoothing down his face that could be greatly mistaken for tears,
“Yuu…” I murmur,
“No.” he shakes his head, “I don’t want you to take me home! Do you hear me?!”
I take a step back; perhaps I’ve pushed him too far,
“Okay, okay.” I say soothingly, as Yuu runs his hands through his hair and turns away from me, his shoulders shaking as he forces himself to breathe.
I regard him for a moment; the poor broken boy… he seems so… so…
Torn?
I nod,
“Come to my place then.” I suggest, “You’re going to catch cold standing there like that, hm?”
The shoulders stop shaking then. To a somewhat unrecognised relief of mine, he turns to face me again, his face pale and his expression not only one of anger. It was one of fear.
But what could he possibly be afraid of?
I smile gently and hold out a hand; of which Yuu stares at as though he hasn’t seen it before,
“Come on.” I encourage gently, watching the hand resting on the leather strap of his bag tighten until his knuckles turn white,
“Back to your… your place?” he breathes gently, only looking at me to receive a reply and he relaxes when I nod, grabbing my hand almost immediately.
Something warm fills me as his palm meets my own; but perhaps it was relief. Relief that he hadn’t escaped from me again. That he was, maybe, just maybe, beginning to trust me after all.
*
I had hoped Yuu would settle down a little once we were inside the car; however it became a far sought promise as I glanced at him every now and then. My hands now occupied and with nothing to hold onto, Yuu had instead resorted to scrunching the material of his school trousers. And I swear each time I looked across, that grip had gotten ever tighter,
“Here we are.” I murmur brightly, as the houses came into view up ahead, my poor little cottage drenched from head to toe.
Yuu still hadn’t moved by the time I’d pulled up in the driveway, his fists once again white as stone.
I take off my seatbelt and give him a long stare; Yuu’s eyes diverted past my shoulder and on something in the distance.
I turned around to look too, but found nothing of discomfort or interest and so I turned back around, this time with a stare of concern,
“Yuu?” I ask gently, laying a hand on his knee.
He flinches a little, and his leg is soon gone from under my fingertips,
“It’s okay…” I breathe, watching sadly as he flattens himself against the seat, truly and tangibly afraid.
Of what, I still couldn’t figure out.
*
Yuu was still a little timid; even after I’d coaxed him out of the car and into the house at long last.
I turn around from the kettle to see him standing awkwardly in the doorway of the kitchen, his hands clasped tight together now that his leather bag was now hanging safely on the coat rack; out of his grasp,
“Yuu.” I start brightly, and he startles a little at the mention of his name, “You can come in, you know.”
“Oh…” he blushes fiercely, even raising a hand to his cheek as though to conceal it, “S-Sorry.”
I smile gently, and gesture him over towards the bar stools sitting against the counters near me,
“Want me to make you a cup of tea?” I ask gently, frowning when he grimaces, “Or coffee?” I add,
“Umm… c-coffee would be nice.” Yuu stammers nervously, “Th-Thankyou.”
“Don’t mention it.”
I try not to watch as he takes a seat, knowing that it would probably unnerve him more if I did. That and I didn’t have to; the creaking that sounded time and again as he tried to get comfy was enough to tell me he was incredibly nervous,
“I-Is it okay?” he blurts out suddenly; so sudden I almost scold myself pouring the hot water, “Me being here, I mean?”
I turn to look at him over my shoulder; his face so concerned and his hands clasped tight together against the counter in front of him that I felt a kind smile pass immediately over my face,
“Of course it is.” I tell him honestly, “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“N-No reason.” Yuu mumbles, twiddling his thumbs as I slide his cup of coffee in front of him, “My parents just tell me it’s bad manners to… to overstay my welcome.”
“Well that’s alright then.” I raise my eyebrows a touch, pouring myself a coffee as well, “You’ve only been here five minutes. You’re nowhere near overstaying.”
He smiles as I turn back around to join him, adding a carton of milk and a pot of sugar to the counter in case he should want any,
“Help yourself.” I tell him gently, as his hand reaches out to take some, before falling shy again and retracting,
“Yuu… I hope you don’t mind me asking but -“ I start as he spoons half a teaspoon of sugar into his cup, “You seem to be nervous of something.”
Yuu’s hand stops stirring and his eyes linger upwards to stare at me,
“H-How do you mean?” he stammers, “I’m not worrying about the note, if that’s what you’re talking about. In fact I don’t even want to talk about that -!”
“Okay.” I raise a hand in defence, “I won’t.”
I look at him, with as much concern as what’s left inside of me; I was surprised I had any left with the amount that had been pouring out of me with each stare.
But I was incredibly worried. Even now that I’d successfully managed to do as planned and get him alone in my house, in truth I didn’t know where to turn next.
Should I interrogate him? Ignore his current request and just pressure him into telling me about the note anyway? Well even if I did, where would that get me?
I sigh and look into the steam rising from cup. Yuu, opposite me, does the same.
Perhaps I should ask a few questions… I can see that bruise on his face even clearer now that his head is tilted towards the sun that way,
“That’s quite a nasty mark on your face.” I note kindly, Yuu immediately blushing and trying to hide it with the choppy strands of his hair, “Where did you get it? A fight at school?”
I wonder if that was a wrong move. He can easily lie and take up my suggestion as a quick answer,
You don’t care AT ALL!!
I lower my eyes, even as Yuu sets out a reply,
“N-No.” he tells me solemnly, protectively wrapping a hand around his cheek, “I…I did it on the way home from school.”
I narrow my eyes, his voice going all shaky again; just like it had in the car moments ago,
“How?”
“Fell over.” Yuu mumbles in return, taking a sip of his drink. Not out of thirst but rather as an escapist move to the conversation.
I regard him for a moment, letting my eyes run over his timid complexion. At this rate, my Mr. Nice Guy routine wasn’t going to break him.
I can tell he’s lying. He can barely look me in the eye as it is and he can’t even seem to stop himself from trembling.
Time for a different tactic,
“You know something?” I ask him, silence having descended between us for a while now, “I’d say you were scared of something…”
Yuu’s hands tighten considerably around his cup, his shoulders stiffening as he leans forward to stare deep into the granite of my kitchen counters,
“I’m not scared.” He whispers, “Only the weak get scared.”
I cock my head to the side, “Not always.”
Yuu’s breath comes out somewhat shakily; and something in the way it sounds sends an anxious shiver searing down my spine.
Perhaps I was wrong and he was more damaged than I thought. But I couldn’t put my finger on what it was about him that was disturbing me so,
“I’m bothering you…” Yuu whispered numbly, and I noticed he was staring at my fingertips; shaking against my cup, “I should go…”
I look at my convulsing hands in surprised horror, wondering how the tables had turned within the space of a few minutes,
“Yuu… w-wait!” I call after him, as he slips down from the stool and makes his way to the hallway, “Just hang on a moment, don’t go.”
“Thanks for the coffee.” Yuu says remotely, somewhat robotically, as he grabs his jacket and leather bag and makes for the door.
I can’t help but reach out to grab his arm; the desire to help him now even greater than before,
“What are you doing?” Yuu says, part horror, part disgust as he turns around to face me, his other hand a stretch towards the door handle,
“I never meant to… make you feel uneasy.” I say softly, “I’m just trying to help you…”
“Well I never asked for your damn help.” Yuu hisses, snatching his arm out of my grasp,
“You did when you gave me the note.” I remind him, “And something tells me you still want me around, even though you’re putting on a front and saying you don’t.”
It seems I was correct in my assumption, Yuu’s mouth opening to retort before his words falter and he tugs open my front door harshly,
“Same time tomorrow Yuu?!” I shout after him, “I’ll be here after school if you need me!”
I’m on the receiving end of his middle finger waving at me in mid-air as a reply, but there was a look in his eyes that I saw before he ran away again.
I saw hope.
*
A/N: I know, I'm sooooooooo behind on updates it isn't even funny *headdesk* (_ _)" But I've had a tough couple of months and creativeness seems hard to come by these days (><)" Comments are like little luffle drops and they make me happy (^o^*) <333333 Sankyuu~~
I just hope you enjoyed and that it (maybe?) was worth the wait ^^"
Author: sorrowofanangel
Chapter: 3 of ?
Genre: Romance, angst, mental illness, 1st person narrative (more to add as we go ~)
Band: The GazettE
Pairing: Reita x Aoi/ Aoi x Reita (main) Kai x Uruha/ Uruha x Kai, Reita x Kai (one sided)
WARNINGS: Strong language, depression, mental illness, (more to add as we go ~)
DISCLAIMER: Yes, I own them for Reita ish mah BITCH!! (O.e) Noooo sadly they own me D:'
Rating: R
Synopsis: "I moved away to escape my past. Foolishly I believed a new start would help me forget. Help me move on. What I hadn't realised... was that it will follow you wherever you go. No one can know. No one. And that includes Yuu..."
Summary: Akira makes a decision about Yuu's sudden confession.
Notes: I don't think I can say sorry enough times to apologize for the lateness in this chapter. I've had a tough couple of months... Comments are much loved as always mai lovelies (^o^*)
The previous chapters can be found in my Fanfic archive (HERE)
*
Your lips capturing mine in sweet serenity;
With arms that could lift a thousand times my weight;
Into a grey sky;
Filled with sadness;
Escaping loneliness;
You held me high and kept me safe;
Kept me above ground in case I should fall;
Now I leave you here;
Isolated…Embracing loneliness;
Aki…Won’t you come and rescue me?
- - -
I watch his lips move. Time and again I see the lips part in subtle movements, his tongue elevating with each word he speaks to me.
But I can barely hear the guy. No matter how much I try and listen to the feedback the publisher is giving me on my manuscript, it seems my mind can’t help but linger on the events of this morning when I’d dropped Yuu off at school.
His confession had wracked my mind into a further state of discomfiture. As if I thought it wasn’t enough the first time round.
I wasn’t the type to admit it but . . . I was severely worried for him. Even if he’d become the sole source of my aggravation these past couple of weeks. And with my limit of patience that was saying something.
He left the hamper on my doorstep. The note meant for me to find.
I sigh inwardly and nod as yet another compliment is paid to my written chapter; the printed copy held in between the publisher’s hands shaking vigorously as he waves it around, a large grin on his face.
I try to smile back but I can’t. Usually I feel a happy warmth fill my chest whenever someone likes my work this much but . . . for some reason I couldn’t push this heavy feeling of worry away from myself.
It was frustrating me. Growing up with two older brothers and parents who never gave a fuck taught me never to concern myself with others who were of no concern to me. It became my motto for nine years; ever since I turned thirteen and threw my first punch at a kid twice my size.
I’d thought those days of me caring were long gone; perhaps this time I was wrong.
It seems a lifetime before I’m given the deadline for the next chapter and I can finally leave the office. Trudging past wide office areas with phones ringing off the hook every five seconds and the tap tap tapping of frantic fingers against keyboards . . .
I glanced at my watch to find I had been here almost three hours; my stomach rumbling at the acknowledgement that it was midday and in need of some lunch.
But I knew I couldn’t go home and act like everything was normal. I was far too distracted. Too worried about -
Too worried about Yuu . . .
I annoy myself that I’m actually biting my lip subconsciously and I push my glasses up my nose as I descend the winding staircase to the ground floor of the building.
Perhaps I should pay a visit to Yuu after school? Just to make sure everything’s alright.
I stop abruptly as the entrance doors separate before me; cursing myself that I should be so pathetically worried about a teenager I’ve barely known for five minutes.
But why should I care? For all I know he could be playing me for a joke.
No . . . don’t be stupid. Deep down you know that’s ridiculous.
I let my hand run wearily through the strands of my hair; lingering against the back of my head as I scrunch my fist tight.
So what am I gonna do?
My thoughts are still running over themselves while I make my way into the car park and seat myself in my Mustang. Inconclusive as always, I turn on the radio and rest an elbow against the car door, narrowing my eyes as I gaze out the window; running the past conversations I’d had with Yuu over and over again in my head.
There had to be a reason for all of this. Perhaps he really was just pleading for help from a stranger and wasn’t thinking at the time; probably why he was so shy and defiant towards me. That and begging me not to tell the police or his parents or anyone else for that matter.
And that bruise on his face . . .
I can’t help but let the helplessness invade. There was something he was hiding. I just had to lure it out of him. Make him trust me.
He’s involved me in this now and I know for sure that something’s wrong.
So I’m going to do something about it.
*
I wait patiently for the bell; the school grounds eerily quiet until the loud ring blares throughout the entire area and I’m suddenly joined by a steady stream of cars and school buses ready to take everyone home.
In fact, Yuu’s school was a lot more populated than I had first anticipated, the grounds suddenly swarming with students as they made their way home.
I scanned the crowds for Yuu; trying to spot his raven coloured hair and that leather shoulder bag of his.
To my delight, I locate him only a few minutes later, bending down to tie the shoelace of his sneakers after waving goodbye to a few classmates.
I figure now’s my chance and I exit the car to greet him.
In particular, I hadn’t even stopped to consider whether Yuu would like to see me or not. He’d ran out of the car this morning when he’d confessed his secret to me. I knew the chances of that happening again were on a higher scale.
But I had to try. Even if it didn’t work out as planned, I couldn’t just sit behind my computer and let this get to me. I’d done that before and look where it had got me,
Aki, you need to hide!!
“Oh fuck off and leave me alone.” I whisper, pushing my way through the excitable crowds as I move closer to Yuu; who was still oblivious to my presence and setting about tying his other shoelace once the other was done.
I don’t even know what I’m going to start with; and even as I’d hoped the words would come once Yuu was in closer proximity, I couldn’t have been more wrong, my tongue sealing tightly behind my teeth as I come to stand beside him.
I wait for him to finish, although I’m surprised he hasn’t recognised my own shoes being so close to his own.
It takes a while so I cough loudly.
It does the trick and Yuu snaps his head up in surprise, his eyes seeking to adjust as he sees me hovering over him; obviously taking a while to make sure he wasn’t imagining anything.
I’m not sure what to do so I let a small smile pass over my lips.
That scares him and he shoots to his feet,
“Akira!” he blurts out, and I watch as he takes a couple of wary steps back, “W-What are you d-doing here?!”
I try to act calm and let my hands slip inside the pockets of my jeans, “Checking up on you.” I shrug, my eyes running over his trembling form, clutching his leather bag to his stomach like some sort of sacred artefact, “Do you really think I’d let you go home alone after what I saw this morning?”
Yuu’s eyes drop to his feet; and I’m impressed he’s stuck around this long,
“Come on.” I murmur after a while, “Let’s get you home before your parents worry.”
I make a move to go but he stays rooted to the spot, eyes remaining glued to his toes,
“Yuu?” I ask tentatively, reaching out to tap his shoulder, “Let’s get you home eh?”
“Don’t touch me.” he mumbles, rolling his shoulder back so my hand meets air instead, “I don’t need you to take me home.”
I retract my hand and replace it back in the pocket of my jeans, staring at him even as he continues determinedly not to look at me in the eye,
“Alright.” I say simply, making a quick sweep of the area, “But you’re in for a long walk home. All the buses have gone.”
I can tell he doesn’t want to have to raise his gaze, his chin only lifting a millimetre or so as he looks over towards the school gates; silence descending the grounds now that all the students have gone and cars have set off for home again,
“I’d rather walk than be with you anyway.” he says at last, setting a shaky foot forward and pushing past me shyly.
I watch him for a while, though his agonisingly slow pace is somewhat exaggerated,
“Oi.” I call after him, unable to help but smile as he turned around predictably and I throw my car keys towards him; of which he catches in both hands.
I smile as he looks at me awkwardly,
“Get in the car okay?” I say, hoping to sound as friendly as I mean to, “And pick a CD for the road.”
Yuu looks down into his palms, slowly letting the metal object slip from his fingers and onto the concrete path below.
I should have been worrying about how many scratches that’s gonna leave but I don’t. It’s the way his eyes stare at me with such torturing resentment that stops me from doing so. All at once it seems that for a split second, everything in his world has torn apart. Or at least, I’ve somehow upset him more than intended,
“I don’t need you.” he spits at me, stumbling back on his feet before turning to walk away again and I am left, once more, with the dumbfounded position of looking after him. Turning his back on me as though I were nothing more but a stranger in a street,
“Yuu, wait!” I call after him, jogging forward to scoop my car keys from the pavement before following. It pleases me to an extent that he doesn’t attempt to run nor change his pace whatsoever to make it harder for me.
He does, however, give me a glare that’s fit to kill, and I have to work up some sort of courage to get my words out,
“I’m only making sure you’re alright.” I tell him genuinely, sighing as the clouds overhead turn dark and I feel spots of rain land on the shoulders of my jacket, “If you’re worried about me telling someone about the note then you have to believe I’m not going to okay?”
He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t even glance at me. He just keeps walking…
Walking away from me…
“Yuu -“ I try again, about to lay a hand on his shoulder before I remember the last reaction he’d taken. I drop it to my side instead,
“Look, no matter what happens, I know that you wrote that note for a reason.” I persist, both of us now a considerable distance past the school gates, “And I know you didn’t exactly plan on someone like me finding it when you left that hamper but -“
“- Damn right I didn’t!” Yuu interrupts me, his foot landing in a puddle a little harsher than necessary and I flinch as most of it splashes up my clothes,
“Alright fine!” I huff, “You wanna get yourself in a strop and tuck away inside a little bubble of safety then that’s fine by me but at least let me do something to make it up to you!”
Yuu’s lips purse to the side for a second, “Like what?!” he stops abruptly and I have to catch myself before I bump into him, “Y-You show up at my school! You follow me and then tell me you want to take me home?!” his face his dark as he seethes at me, and I can’t help but focus on that large bruise by his cheek, “I know what you really want to do and I’m not falling for it!”
“And what is that exactly?” I say lamely, folding my arms across my chest, “You’re worried I’m going to rape you or something?!”
Even in the rain, Yuu’s cheeks manage to grow hot, “N-No…”
“Then what?” I insist, tucking my jacket around me tighter as the rain picks up, now slapping heavily against the pavement,
“You’re going to take me to the police!” Yuu shouts frantically, “I know what you people are like! Y-You all make out to be n-nice and… and caring when in actual fact you don’t care at all!” I watch sadly as he shakes, rain smoothing down his face that could be greatly mistaken for tears,
“Yuu…” I murmur,
“No.” he shakes his head, “I don’t want you to take me home! Do you hear me?!”
I take a step back; perhaps I’ve pushed him too far,
“Okay, okay.” I say soothingly, as Yuu runs his hands through his hair and turns away from me, his shoulders shaking as he forces himself to breathe.
I regard him for a moment; the poor broken boy… he seems so… so…
Torn?
I nod,
“Come to my place then.” I suggest, “You’re going to catch cold standing there like that, hm?”
The shoulders stop shaking then. To a somewhat unrecognised relief of mine, he turns to face me again, his face pale and his expression not only one of anger. It was one of fear.
But what could he possibly be afraid of?
I smile gently and hold out a hand; of which Yuu stares at as though he hasn’t seen it before,
“Come on.” I encourage gently, watching the hand resting on the leather strap of his bag tighten until his knuckles turn white,
“Back to your… your place?” he breathes gently, only looking at me to receive a reply and he relaxes when I nod, grabbing my hand almost immediately.
Something warm fills me as his palm meets my own; but perhaps it was relief. Relief that he hadn’t escaped from me again. That he was, maybe, just maybe, beginning to trust me after all.
*
I had hoped Yuu would settle down a little once we were inside the car; however it became a far sought promise as I glanced at him every now and then. My hands now occupied and with nothing to hold onto, Yuu had instead resorted to scrunching the material of his school trousers. And I swear each time I looked across, that grip had gotten ever tighter,
“Here we are.” I murmur brightly, as the houses came into view up ahead, my poor little cottage drenched from head to toe.
Yuu still hadn’t moved by the time I’d pulled up in the driveway, his fists once again white as stone.
I take off my seatbelt and give him a long stare; Yuu’s eyes diverted past my shoulder and on something in the distance.
I turned around to look too, but found nothing of discomfort or interest and so I turned back around, this time with a stare of concern,
“Yuu?” I ask gently, laying a hand on his knee.
He flinches a little, and his leg is soon gone from under my fingertips,
“It’s okay…” I breathe, watching sadly as he flattens himself against the seat, truly and tangibly afraid.
Of what, I still couldn’t figure out.
*
Yuu was still a little timid; even after I’d coaxed him out of the car and into the house at long last.
I turn around from the kettle to see him standing awkwardly in the doorway of the kitchen, his hands clasped tight together now that his leather bag was now hanging safely on the coat rack; out of his grasp,
“Yuu.” I start brightly, and he startles a little at the mention of his name, “You can come in, you know.”
“Oh…” he blushes fiercely, even raising a hand to his cheek as though to conceal it, “S-Sorry.”
I smile gently, and gesture him over towards the bar stools sitting against the counters near me,
“Want me to make you a cup of tea?” I ask gently, frowning when he grimaces, “Or coffee?” I add,
“Umm… c-coffee would be nice.” Yuu stammers nervously, “Th-Thankyou.”
“Don’t mention it.”
I try not to watch as he takes a seat, knowing that it would probably unnerve him more if I did. That and I didn’t have to; the creaking that sounded time and again as he tried to get comfy was enough to tell me he was incredibly nervous,
“I-Is it okay?” he blurts out suddenly; so sudden I almost scold myself pouring the hot water, “Me being here, I mean?”
I turn to look at him over my shoulder; his face so concerned and his hands clasped tight together against the counter in front of him that I felt a kind smile pass immediately over my face,
“Of course it is.” I tell him honestly, “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“N-No reason.” Yuu mumbles, twiddling his thumbs as I slide his cup of coffee in front of him, “My parents just tell me it’s bad manners to… to overstay my welcome.”
“Well that’s alright then.” I raise my eyebrows a touch, pouring myself a coffee as well, “You’ve only been here five minutes. You’re nowhere near overstaying.”
He smiles as I turn back around to join him, adding a carton of milk and a pot of sugar to the counter in case he should want any,
“Help yourself.” I tell him gently, as his hand reaches out to take some, before falling shy again and retracting,
“Yuu… I hope you don’t mind me asking but -“ I start as he spoons half a teaspoon of sugar into his cup, “You seem to be nervous of something.”
Yuu’s hand stops stirring and his eyes linger upwards to stare at me,
“H-How do you mean?” he stammers, “I’m not worrying about the note, if that’s what you’re talking about. In fact I don’t even want to talk about that -!”
“Okay.” I raise a hand in defence, “I won’t.”
I look at him, with as much concern as what’s left inside of me; I was surprised I had any left with the amount that had been pouring out of me with each stare.
But I was incredibly worried. Even now that I’d successfully managed to do as planned and get him alone in my house, in truth I didn’t know where to turn next.
Should I interrogate him? Ignore his current request and just pressure him into telling me about the note anyway? Well even if I did, where would that get me?
I sigh and look into the steam rising from cup. Yuu, opposite me, does the same.
Perhaps I should ask a few questions… I can see that bruise on his face even clearer now that his head is tilted towards the sun that way,
“That’s quite a nasty mark on your face.” I note kindly, Yuu immediately blushing and trying to hide it with the choppy strands of his hair, “Where did you get it? A fight at school?”
I wonder if that was a wrong move. He can easily lie and take up my suggestion as a quick answer,
You don’t care AT ALL!!
I lower my eyes, even as Yuu sets out a reply,
“N-No.” he tells me solemnly, protectively wrapping a hand around his cheek, “I…I did it on the way home from school.”
I narrow my eyes, his voice going all shaky again; just like it had in the car moments ago,
“How?”
“Fell over.” Yuu mumbles in return, taking a sip of his drink. Not out of thirst but rather as an escapist move to the conversation.
I regard him for a moment, letting my eyes run over his timid complexion. At this rate, my Mr. Nice Guy routine wasn’t going to break him.
I can tell he’s lying. He can barely look me in the eye as it is and he can’t even seem to stop himself from trembling.
Time for a different tactic,
“You know something?” I ask him, silence having descended between us for a while now, “I’d say you were scared of something…”
Yuu’s hands tighten considerably around his cup, his shoulders stiffening as he leans forward to stare deep into the granite of my kitchen counters,
“I’m not scared.” He whispers, “Only the weak get scared.”
I cock my head to the side, “Not always.”
Yuu’s breath comes out somewhat shakily; and something in the way it sounds sends an anxious shiver searing down my spine.
Perhaps I was wrong and he was more damaged than I thought. But I couldn’t put my finger on what it was about him that was disturbing me so,
“I’m bothering you…” Yuu whispered numbly, and I noticed he was staring at my fingertips; shaking against my cup, “I should go…”
I look at my convulsing hands in surprised horror, wondering how the tables had turned within the space of a few minutes,
“Yuu… w-wait!” I call after him, as he slips down from the stool and makes his way to the hallway, “Just hang on a moment, don’t go.”
“Thanks for the coffee.” Yuu says remotely, somewhat robotically, as he grabs his jacket and leather bag and makes for the door.
I can’t help but reach out to grab his arm; the desire to help him now even greater than before,
“What are you doing?” Yuu says, part horror, part disgust as he turns around to face me, his other hand a stretch towards the door handle,
“I never meant to… make you feel uneasy.” I say softly, “I’m just trying to help you…”
“Well I never asked for your damn help.” Yuu hisses, snatching his arm out of my grasp,
“You did when you gave me the note.” I remind him, “And something tells me you still want me around, even though you’re putting on a front and saying you don’t.”
It seems I was correct in my assumption, Yuu’s mouth opening to retort before his words falter and he tugs open my front door harshly,
“Same time tomorrow Yuu?!” I shout after him, “I’ll be here after school if you need me!”
I’m on the receiving end of his middle finger waving at me in mid-air as a reply, but there was a look in his eyes that I saw before he ran away again.
I saw hope.
*
A/N: I know, I'm sooooooooo behind on updates it isn't even funny *headdesk* (_ _)" But I've had a tough couple of months and creativeness seems hard to come by these days (><)" Comments are like little luffle drops and they make me happy (^o^*) <333333 Sankyuu~~
I just hope you enjoyed and that it (maybe?) was worth the wait ^^"