[Fanfiction - The GazettE] Whispers of Children Reita/Aoi [Prologue/?]
Title: Whispers of Children
Author: sorrowofanangel
Chapter: Prologue/ ?
Genre: Romance, angst, mental illness, 1st person narrative (more to add as we go)
Band: The GazettE
Pairing: Aoi x Reita/ Reita x Aoi. Kai x Uruha/ Uruha x Kai (briefly)
WARNINGS: Strong language, depression, mental illness, (more to add as we go)
DISCLAIMER: Yes, I own them . . . In fact Kai's in my kitchen right now (huhuhuuu~) No, I don't own them o.e
Rating: R (subject to change)
Synopsis: "I moved away to escape my past. Foolishly I believed a new start would help me forget. Help me move on. What I hadn't realised... was that it will follow you wherever you go. No one can know. No one. And that includes Yuu..."
Summary: Akira starts a new beginning. Away from the city... and away from his past.
Notes: Here is the opening prologue to my new multi-chapter! Since people voted for me to go ahead and write it, here's a taster (^-^) If this goes well, and a lot of people enjoy it, I'll carry it on. Deal? xD
Please comment to let me know and... hope you enjoy <3
*
“Thanks. Just leave it there for now,”
The cardboard box echoes loudly as it’s dropped against the wood without a care; the man I’d just given a tip grunting briefly in my direction before making his way back out the house again. Back into the removal van.
Good riddance.
I stare around my new home with a sense of... freshness. A new beginning I once dreamed of years ago now becoming the weight I was holding between my fingertips.
I walk out onto the balcony at the back of the cottage, greeted with the ocean spray and smell of sand beckoning my lungs into sweet captivation. I was content with the idea that the little beach at the back belonged to me entirely; and though the sand stretched for miles along the coast, available to the public like any other beach, it was nice to have my own privacy.
My eyes follow the waves as they swish back and forth onshore, the coastal wind throwing the blonde strands of my hair across my face. I close my eyes and savour the breeze brushing my cheeks, knowing that things from now on were going to be different.
And I would make sure of it.
I decided to unpack later; it wasn’t as though I was expecting visitors anytime soon; the boxes strewn about my hallway and piled high on top of each other in each room would just have to stay as they were for now.
Instead, I grabbed a light jacket and took a walk. I’d been told by the estate agents that the neighbourhood was nice up here. Thanks to work commitments, I hadn’t really gotten a chance to have a proper look.
My neighbours’ house was a deep contrast to mine. A small thatched cottage with bright peach pastel walls and square wooden windows with several trellises out front. A bungalow too, while my second story, white, stone bricked country house towered over it like a big brother. I wondered whether houses could define people after all, although I wasn’t as tall and proud as my new home seemed to be.
Still, I was grateful for just the one neighbour. Since my house stood beside a cluster of pine trees, there wasn’t exactly the space to build there, not to mention the amount of environmental protesters that would flock to the occasion. On this street alone, there was only a straight row of sixteen houses each side. Taverns and small cafés lined the beach area further down and the closer I became, the louder I could hear the voices of families and children enjoying a day out under the sun.
I loved how the maple trees lined the sidewalk, standing tall above my head as I strolled underneath the protection of their branches. Several leaves were fluttering to the tarmac ahead of me, some already forming large piles in between parked cars and it made me realise how much I loved autumn. You never really got a chance to experience it in the city.
My feet came to an abrupt stop; a montage of memories projecting redundantly in my head,
“Stop it...” I shake my head and concentrate on the sound of the waves behind the houses next to me, feeling a maple leaf come to rest against my shoulder; as though Mother Nature herself was laying her own hand comfortingly against me.
It took a few breaths to send the horrors away. This is why I moved here, to forget my past and prove to myself that life wasn’t just a twisted, fucked up lie set out to deceive you. All my childhood, I’d believed God had laid out these ‘games’ to test me,
“Come find me Aki...”
To test those around me.
I adjust my glasses on my nose as the whispers in my head fade away to nothingness at long last. I stride in silence once more, letting the sweet sounds of a new world embrace me, letting me know I was safe here.
I was safe.
*
This side of town certainly was a charm point for weekends by the sea. So much so that I’d spent all afternoon exploring the place.
Not many people lived in this reserved countryside village south of Kyoto. In fact its population was a cosy number being only a few thousand, but they lived further south then here, leaving me part of a small community made up of only a few hundred.
And that was one of the factors that made me fall in love with this place.
By 8pm I’d finally managed to unpack the last box in the house; a few photographs of the family which I stored on the high shelves in the guest bedroom. If I could persuade Kai to leave that boyfriend of his alone, perhaps he could come and stay for a few days.
I smile at the thought of him, packing the empty boxes away, adding them to the number stacked high in the store cupboard along the hallway.
I mind the high beams above my head, the mahogany wood lining the ceiling row by row, defining the character I’d grown to adore on past viewings with estate agents.
And to think it was all mine now . . .
I let a smile stretch from cheek to cheek; the first I’d felt in a while. That alone was enough to tell me I’d done the right thing. This was my home . . .
The phone rang downstairs while I was in the middle of changing. I yanked my white shirt over my head midway down the narrow stairs, snatching the phone off the hook by the front door,
“Hey Aki!” An unmistakeable voice sang down the receiver, “How was moving day?”
I fiddled with one of my loose sleeves but soon gave up and rolled it to my elbow,
“Good, Kai, good.” I mumbled, all of a sudden sleepy, “Everything’s unpacked and the village is beautiful. You really ought to get your ass down here once Uruha gives you some free time.”
No chance at that. The other guy was a walking sex God.
Or at least, that’s what Kai’s told me,
“I will.” my friend promises, but I sense an unneeded pause erupting from his end, “But, Aki, do you really think this move is going to change anything?”
I sighed; it was only a matter of time before people started asking these questions,
“Why wouldn't it?" I say confidently, leaning my back against the wall, letting my hands run over the smooth green wallpaper, the evidence of history, culture and a sense of ancient life birthing underneath my fingertips,
“You know you can’t change the past.” Kai mumbles, almost inaudibly that I was thankful the waves had calmed down a little now for me to hear him, “Aki, what happened, happened. No new house or ocean drop off or playing happy families in the countryside will change that.”
I feel my memory treading on the tiptoes of a place I’d rather not revisit, my hand clenching tighter against the phone,
“Leave it, Kai. This is my decision, not yours.” I warn gently, feeling my heart pick up pace.
I hear him sigh; but I don’t care if he’s hurt by my cold tone. I don’t like it when people interfere. Never have done,
“You always shut people out.” Kai says gently, the sun setting through the glass beside my front door, shining warmly on my skin, “Aki, you don’t go out, you don’t make friends. The ones you do have only get pushed away. You only have me here because we grew up together.”
I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Why can’t he just shut up?
“You need to face those fears, Akira.” Kai whispers, my frustration recognised as I feel something wet slide down my cheek, my eyes stinging from a past no longer welcome to me,
“Kai... just shut up.” I can’t scream, my throat choked up, sealing itself in an unmistakeable bond of fear, “Don’t take me back there Kai... please.”
“Okay, Aki, okay.” Kai soothes slowly, softly, my legs so weak I slide down the wall and slump against the floor, the pinewood hard underneath me once we meet,
“Come find me Aki...”
I can’t breathe...
“Aki... Over here.”
“S-Stop it...” I whisper, holding my head in my hands to shield myself. Don’t take me back there, please...
“You need to fight it.” Kai’s voice suddenly sounds in my ear and I startle, sweat pouring from my forehead, the phone slipping in my grasp, “Don’t shut yourself out from me, Aki, I want you to talk to me -”
“- Oh, what do you know?!!” my heart must be accelerating ten times the original rate but I don’t care, stumbling as I try to regain my balance, getting angrier all the more, “There’s nothing you can say and nothing you can do, Kai! In fact I don’t even know why you’re talking to me. Get off the phone! Get lost and leave me alone!”
I throw the phone against the wall before Kai can even try and apologise. As anger washes over me, I hunch over against the floorboards, beating my fist against them until my knuckles bleed...
“Aki...”
I can hear him... the way he beckons me with cold and searing eyes. Stalking my head and picking at every piece until I come undone.
“No... shut up.”
“Come find me Aki...”
Weakness. That’s all I’ve ever been, sobbing loudly as I curl into a ball against the floor, the sun warming my body but failing to ease the coldness in my heart.
Make it go away... that’s what I have to do. And no one needs to know.
I don’t need anyone.
*
A/N: Did I write it okay? (~_~) I listened to "Mad World" by Gary Jules while writing a lot of this... And now I've depressed myself xP
*headdesk*