[Fanfiction - The GazettE] Blind Romance Uruha/Aoi Part 9 (A)
Title: Blind Romance Part 9 (a) of 10
Author: sorrowofanangel
Genre: Romance, supernaturally-ish, thrillery-ish, abnormal, sex etc.
Pairing/ Band: The GazettE Uruha x Aoi, Aoi x Uruha (Reita, Kai and Ruki appear too)
WARNINGS: Boy x Boy relationships, language, death, religious beliefs etc.
DISCLAIMER: Yes, I own them . . . In fact Kai's in my kitchen right now (huhuhuuu~) No, I don't own them o.e
Rating: R/NC-17
Synopsis: "When there's no one to love you, you can always count on a stranger . . . But what happens once they've become someone you love?"
Chapter Summary: GAH!! I can't reveal!!!
Notes: Decided to make it into a ten-chaptered fic after all huhuhuhuhuu~~ Enjoy the first part of the ending!
Reita will do dirty things for you if you comment . . . O.O
I'd really recommend listening to the song "Shallow Life" by Lacuna Coil ~ I had this song on replay almost the whole time while writing this ~ it really set the atmosphere (^___^) -----> (LISTEN TO IT HERE)
Previous Chapters (1 - 10) are in my Fanfic Archive ~ (HERE)
*
My eyes . . . it’s so bright here . . . where am I?
Am I alone? Is anyone here?
Hello!!
. . .
Please! Anyone? Can you hear me?
. . .
My head hurts, why does it hurt so much?
“Aoi . . .”
Ouch! What are you doing? Get the- Get your hands off me!!
“There there, Aoi, you’re safe now,”
Wait- Who are you? Where am I? Can you tell me where I am? Wha-What’s going on?!
“Shhh, Aoi, shhh,”
Aoi grimaces and his eyes snap open at last, a flood of light blinding him and he screams more, the pain in his head springing to life, his body doused in agony as he struggles,
“Aoi, it’s me, calm down, it’s me!”
Uruha?
“I told you to stay away!!” Aoi sobs, and he suddenly feels drowsy, as though he’s been drugged.
For a moment, he lets the floaty feeling underneath his body divulge him into a sense of levitation and he looks around, everything so bright he can’t see a single object, a single person for that matter - he couldn’t even see Uruha’s face,
“Wh-Where am I?” the brunette whimpers, and his eyebrows furrow as his memory returns like a curtain unveiling, replaying everything, the bus . . . the crash . . . holding Reita dead in his arms,
“Oh my God!” Aoi sobs, and he sees Uruha’s face and his body of dark clothing come into view, hovering over him to stroke his face, “Uruha what happened??” he shrieks, and if he could lift his arms, he would have been throttling the blonde for answers, “Where’s Kai?! Where’s . . . where is everyone? Where -?“ he pauses, looking around the blank and empty space, still finding no object of solidity, “Where am I?” he whispers at last,
“Safe,” Uruha only smiles, smoothing a strand of hair behind Aoi’s ear, “You’re all safe,”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Aoi retorted, “Safe how? Where is this? Why the fuck is everything white?! Uruha, I can’t see, I don’t know what’s going on!!”
“Shhh, Aoi . . .” Uruha only murmurs as Aoi cries out in agony, pain bursting from somewhere in his leg and he vaguely wonders what happened before he blacked out. More importantly, in this strange environment, why did Aoi feel as if he was semi-conscious? It was as though he was dreaming, or imagining this reality as part of a subconscious form in his mind.
Aoi paused, looking past Uruha’s shoulder to stare into the blinding white again, his eyes following it all the way around him - the bright colour covering every inch of his surroundings, 360 degrees and beyond,
“Oh God . . .” he breathed, Uruha taking his hand gently, leading it up to his lips, “This . . . This is heaven isn’t it?”
Uruha’s head slanted to one side,
“It is, isn’t it?!” Aoi cried, recalling the truck coming towards him, Kai screaming at him before the impact, “I’m dead . . .”
“Aoi, you mustn’t upset yourself . . .” Uruha begins, but Aoi feels drunk, his mind blocking Uruha out for just a second as he rethinks everything.
He really was dead. The truck had finished him off, finished him off as well as Reita and . . .
Kai . . .
“Where is he?!” Aoi’s head snapped back up, breaking Uruha off mid-sentence and the blonde’s eyes softened,
“Who, baby?”
Aoi ignored the pet name, “Kai,” he answered, “Kai must have died too, right?”
Uruha didn’t nod, only lowered his head a little - but that was enough for Aoi,
“Oh shit . . .” his bottom lip quivered, and Aoi’s fingers curled into fists beside him, “Kai . . . Kai . . .” after a minute he stopped, “Where is he? I want to see him!”
“I’m right here, Aoi,”
Past Uruha’s shoulder, Aoi heard the small timid voice of his friend echo in the space around them. Sure enough, Kai’s body came forward into view, but not in the state Aoi had expected him to. He was bloodied and bruised, dark crimson stains splashed over his school shirt, further dark liquid running in a thin trickle from one ear. Aoi watched with horror as Kai dragged a limp leg behind him,
“Kai . . . oh God, what happened to you?” Aoi breathed, and he couldn’t help but inch back as Kai got closer.
Kai smiled softly, looking down at his broken body, and Aoi noticed with horrific realisation that Kai’s left foot was twisted backwards, adding to the limp Kai had adapted,
“We didn’t make it . . . Aoi,” he smiled sadly and as his head raised, Aoi almost gasped as a sliver of blood suddenly dropped out from his nose, marking a stream down towards his lips.
Aoi couldn’t help but recoil at first. As well as being dead, Kai certainly looked the part and Aoi fought to remind himself that the body in front of him was Kai. Kai. The Kai who Aoi had known for almost seven years now, the Kai who knew him better than anyone else.
Despite the horror in his friend’s appearance, Kai was still his friend nonetheless, and it made something in Aoi’s chest ache,
“Were you in pain Kai?” Aoi asked, his bottom lip trembling and Kai limped closer to him, holding out a broken arm, of which Aoi could see the bone poking out beneath the skin, “When you died, did it hurt?”
“I’ve never . . .” Kai took a deep breath, his eyes fixed on Aoi’s fingers when the brunette held out his hand, “Aoi, I’ve never felt so scared. Don’t you remember it?”
Eventually, Kai reaches him, taking his hand and sitting beside him on the, presumably, floor. Everything was so white, Aoi didn’t even know if they were in a room or what; all he knew for certain was that the heaven people had depicted over time and history - fluffy clouds, angels singing, eternal peace, golden gates . . . none of that was real at all,
“Remember what, Kai?” Aoi whispered, trying not to stare at the blood painted across Kai’s face; such a dark contrast to his delicate, pale skin,
“Remember what it was like,” Kai answers, his eyes still as he stared back at Aoi with such invigorating grimness; and it made Aoi’s imaginary heart beat a thousand times slower in his chest, “Surely you felt the way your bones crushed underneath the tyres? How your throat scratched when you screamed? How the pain was so unbearable you couldn’t think to pray to God for forgiveness for your sins, or to tell Him to look after those you love . . .” Kai trailed off, his smile sad, and his bloody head lifted to look around the area, “If God is so great then why does He repay His ‘children’ with such a desolate and empty place?” he breathed out unevenly, his tongue sweeping out to wipe the remainder of blood on his lips, “And we call it ‘Heaven’” he almost says it with a smile and Aoi’s grip on his hand loosened,
“Kai, I-I don’t remember anything,” he told him honestly, so desperately wanting him to refer back to the topic beforehand, Kai’s attitude towards everything so unlike himself, “Was all that what you felt?”
Kai only turned to him and grinned wryly, a bubble of blood leaking just inside his nostril,
“I watched you die first,” he murmured, almost dreamlike and it would have made Aoi’s stomach drop if the feeling still existed, “I watched the way your body crippled underneath the mount of metal, I heard every bone snap and break apart; I watched every one of your fucking internal organs burst and your skin tear apart piece by piece!!”
“Kai . . .” Aoi reached out for him, his arm feeling soft and limp as he moved it through the air - almost like dragging it through water, “I’m so sorry, I, I don’t know what to say -“
“- I know,” Kai sniffed, aggravating the bubble inside his nose and it burst as he hung his head, dripping onto the white floor, however it did not stain. Aoi was almost in fascination as the dark red liquid faded into the air before it hit the floor. But Kai, however, had his eyes closed, seemingly unable to form tears,
“I just . . . I thought that death was supposed to be something that you could have time to prepare for,” Kai murmured, his fists clenching either side of him, cracking a knuckle with the strain,
“Nothing good comes out of death, Kai,” Uruha murmurs, and Aoi almost forgets the blonde man is still there,
“And you of all people would know that wouldn’t you?” Kai’s expression turns dark, and Aoi watches with widened eyes as Kai turns towards the blonde; a sudden hatred gleaming from his dark brown orbs, “As far as I’m aware you’d suck God’s cock just to watch another innocent soul die on Earth,”
Uruha stayed solemn, calm and in control as always, “You know that’s not the nature of my duty -“
“- What have you told him?” Aoi cut in, and all of a sudden their voices become echoed in the bright space.
Perhaps even in Heaven Aoi figured no-one could hide secrets forever,
“The truth,” Uruha answers and Kai throws his head back with a laugh,
“You’re a fucking murderer!!” Kai screams upwards, blood falling off of his body as he does so, and Aoi shields himself with his arm, “You prey on innocent lives you ignorant prick!! First you took Reita away from us, then if that wasn’t enough you took me and Aoi as a consolation prize! What was it, Gabriel huh? Three for the price of one?! I bet God gave you a big reward for that didn’t He?!”
“Stop it Kai!” Aoi yells, “It was the way things have to be, Uruha doesn’t control who lives and who dies -“
“- Then WHO DOES?!” Kai screams and it lasts a long time, echoed again and again, quieter and quieter as it fades into the white, “Because I want to know why we are stuck up here instead of the murderers and rapists and fucking criminals down there who deserve to die more!”
“Death is never fair either . . .” Uruha says quietly, and despite Kai’s mangled state he still has the look that tells Aoi he wants to beat the blonde man to a pulp,
“I have a family,” Kai murmurs, “I had a family. A whole future ahead of me. A world mapped out, held by my fingertips but no . . . no, someone decides it’s time for me to call quits,”
Uruha looks to the floor and for some reason; Aoi feels his sympathy for the man grow considerably,
“Is it God?” Kai asks, dragging his broken legs forward to move in closer on Uruha, “Or the devil? Come on, Angel Boy you know the answer so why don’t you just fucking tell me?!”
“Kai, just calm down . . .” Aoi warns, but Kai doesn’t even flicker a glance at him; the brunette wonders if perhaps he’s even listening.
Uruha takes a moment to bring his eyes up, and while his eyes shine with kindness, Kai’s glare down in an empty pool of doubt and confusion, Aoi merely watching from his place a few steps away, only now just paying attention to the blood that was running down his own school uniform,
“Kai, I understand that this is a bit of a shock . . .” Uruha begins, “But you . . . and Aoi . . . are dead,”
He takes Kai’s shoulders and Aoi watches him grimace, unhappy at the touch,
“Alright?” Uruha whispers, “You’re dead. I’m sorry, but there were others in that crash as well as you -“
Kai lunges back, shoving Uruha’s arms away, “You stood there and watched - I saw you! You marvelled in everyone’s suffering!!”
“That’s not the way it was,” Uruha sighed, folding his arms, “I was -“
“ - He was checking to make sure we were dead,” Aoi finishes for him, his eyes scrolling up to face Uruha’s and he imagined his stare followed suit of Kai’s, “Weren’t you?”
Uruha’s eyes return to the floor, “I was only doing my job,”
“Apart from killing everyone?!” Kai burst out, “Targeting a group of friends and a whole bus full of young students that have so much left to live for! Oh yeah, real, real, clever! Some job you have!”
“No, Kai,” Aoi murmurs, “Ruki is still alive remember?”
“Only by fate,” Uruha adds, “The only reason you two survived the first time is because you got lucky,”
“I wouldn’t exactly hold it down to luck,” Kai retorts, and Aoi finds the trail of blood smoothing down one of his trouser legs much more calming, “I mean we still ended up dead! Dear God, if only I could -!” Kai struggles with himself and one of his broken arms run through his bloody and knotted hair, scrunching up the strands as though he could milk the words from his head,
“I wish I’d told my Mum I loved her,” Aoi whispers, slowly feeling a numb and absent wetness streak across his back, a puddle of his own blood pooling around him - pretty soon Aoi figured his appearance would be no better than Kai’s, “And that I owe her everything. Dad may have left me but she didn’t. She stayed, raised me on her own, but I never . . . appreciated it,” Aoi’s eyebrows furrowed and he could recognise the emotion to cry; only his body wouldn’t allow it. It restricted his weakness, but Aoi didn’t question it - he assumed the afterlife robbed the dead of such emotions. After all, they were lifeless now.
Aoi’s head suddenly raised, “Wait, Kai, if you’re here then . . . where’s Reita?”
The other two looked at their feet, almost in unison,
“What?” Aoi stood up, his legs mechanically snapping upright awkwardly and he looked down to see his foot leaning to one side, his kneecap twisted in the opposite direction. Oddly, Aoi felt no pain,
“Guys?” he questions, limping forward on broken legs and the other two men kept their eyes focused at their feet, Aoi’s question left to remain unanswered.
There was stillness for a moment, but before long Aoi realised that the floor had started to shift . . . and the distance between him and Uruha and Kai had lengthened.
Aoi let out a noise of protest as Heaven dragged the two away from him, no matter how fast Aoi was moving towards them,
“Wait! Stop!” Aoi screamed, holding both of his arms out in front of him as he watched both Uruha and Kai become smaller and smaller in the brightness, neither of them running away on their own and it seemed no matter how hard Aoi tried to keep up, he was no match for Heaven’s pace,
“No!!” he screamed again, “Don’t leave me! Uruha come back!! Kai!!!”
Aoi limped and limped, eventually moving so fast that his legs gave way and Aoi heard the delicate and broken bones shatter again as he fell to the floor.
He opened his eyes; and found that he was surrounded by water. Crystal clear water that formed a small pool around him, a couple of inches in depth, and Aoi gasped as the coolness caressed his face, lapping over his wounds,
“Please . . .” he whispered, his fingers struggling through the transparent fluid to stretch out and reach into nothingness ahead . . . a closing darkness overshadowing him and he took in a sharp breath as the once clear water turned into the colour of his own blood around him,
“URUHAA!!!” Aoi screamed, feeling a very real sense of fear brush up his spine as the darkness got closer and closer, closing the gaps of whiteness inch by inch, and Aoi rolled on his back to face the sky, greeted only with shadows and bleak silhouettes.
He was alone, Aoi was sure, but his very human mind was racing too wildly for him to stop and think. What was there to think about? Heaven was where he was . . . but how could something so dark and desolate exist here?
“What’s going on?” Aoi asked himself, motionless against the floor; until a low rumble startled him and he sat up straighter, feeling blood leak from the back of his head,
“Oh God . . .” Aoi whispered and he slammed his eyes shut as the rumbling only got louder, “Someone . . . Anyone . . .”
Help . . .
. . . Help me . . .
It feels like I’m -
*
“- gaining consciousness! Lower oxygen levels by 40%,”
“I’m on it,”
Aoi felt weak, and something pushing into his nose and through his mouth was making him feel sick. He could hear a jumble of deep voices echoing around him like a swarm of bees, but they seemed muffled, distant and when his eyes flickered open for just a moment, the same blinding whiteness burst through his eyelids.
He wanted to scream, but for some reason, the words wouldn’t come out and he was left to lie in his own pain once more.
Until darkness swallowed him again . . .
*
Ouch . . .
Aoi’s fingers convulsed and he felt something take hold of it, hold it down, keep it still.
He felt too weak to open his eyes again; reluctant to do so anyway for fear of what was on the other side.
Heaven? Hell? Aoi didn’t know what to believe about the afterlife anymore.
At the moment, all he could gather was that he felt like he was lying down. Definitely lying down; although he still felt like he was floating.
When is this going to end?
With that, Aoi found he was able to cry.
*
“Aoi, can you hear me?”
The brunette’s eyes flickered, and he heard someone moan by his side, felt the pressure on his hand being squeezed tighter.
That hurts . . . why are they doing that?
Sub-consciousness ruled over him again, and Aoi let the drowsiness take him back into the darkness, wanting nothing more than some peace, some quiet, some empty space where he could let go.
I don’t want Heaven anymore . . . just let me go. Let me die properly . . .
“Aoi, no . . .”
Aoi felt something brush his cheek,
“Aoi, stay awake,”
He answered no.
*
“Kai? Oh my God, I thought you were dead!”
Kai put his book down as he sees Aoi bounding towards him from the school gates, and the smaller removes his glasses, using the corner of his school shirt to wipe them clean,
“Dead? What on earth are you talking about?” he smiled, “I’m right here. 100% healthy and breathing and . . .” he winked, “ . . . 200% sexy,”
“You wish you little bookworm,” Reita cut in, slapping a hand on the smaller man’s back, holding it there, “Speaking of sexy, why don’t we hit the movie theatre tonight?” Reita leaned in close, “I’ve heard that new chick Kazumi works on the popcorn stand. Any bets as to whose place she’ll end up at tonight?”
“I vote mine!” Kai raised a hand, and Aoi bit his lip, fighting back a smirk,
“Yeah, alright, I’m in,” he grinned, raising his hand up too.
Reita sighed, “Hang on a sec -“ he paused to look around, although no one was even in close proximity, most of them left for home already, “Maybe we should let Ruki have her,”
Kai pouted, throwing his novel into his rucksack before swinging it back over his shoulder, “Why? I haven’t had a girlfriend for a whole year!”
“Yeah but Ru hasn’t had one for what?” Aoi did a mental count, “Two, three years? Maybe three and a half,”
“And as friends it is our duty to set him up with someone,” Reita spoke loudly, talking over Kai as he began to protest, “Well, he can’t handle it on his own, I say we tag along anyway,”
Reita took both of their shoulders, forming a sort of huddle as football players do before a big game,
“Guys . . .” he began, his expression smug, “What do you say we go on a quadruple date?”
*
Reita . . .
“Did he say something?”
Reita . . .
“I’m here, Aoi, what is it?”
Reita . . . Kai . . .
There’s a hesitation, and Aoi feels something cold spread over his forehead, coming down to rest against his cheek,
Gone . . . They’re gone . . .
Aoi eyes open for a second before he feels the heaviness take over and he is once again staring into darkness, greeted with the same blank, white scene as he does every time he dares to come awake.
Make the brightness go away . . .
*
“Yuu . . .”
I know that voice . . .
“Yuu, you don’t have to be afraid, just open your eyes sweetie,”
I know you . . . I know you . . .
“That’s it, Yuu, that’s it . . .”
Aoi’s eyelids lift and he gasps as dimness greets him this time,
“Oh my God - he’s doing it! Look, he’s . . . he’s - Oh Yuu, sweetheart . . .”
The brunette heard soft weeping and as his vision came to him in a foggy haze, he tried to look past the blurs to understand what was happening.
Where am I?
There was a white ceiling, and as Aoi’s senses came back to him one by one, minute after minute, everything soon panned out clearer; whispers became voices, blurs became objects, sepia became colour . . .
Aoi’s eyes stung as he moved them around, making out a couple of white box-shaped machines, and he was on what looked like a bed, white sheets tucked around his legs and around his body; metal bars stood tall at the sides . . .
There were too many people in white coats. Too many machines making annoying beeping noises,
“It’s alright, Yuu,” he heard a voice murmur beside him, and his head moved mechanically in that direction, he almost smiled as soft brown eyes rested on him,
. . . Dad?
“I’m here, Yuu,” his father reached out to stroke his hair, and Aoi felt something wet stream down his cheeks, a strange feeling numbing out the nausea welling in his throat,
Is it really you?
“Oh Yuu, my little boy!”
Something tugged at his hand and Aoi grimaced in discomfort, forcing his gaze away from his father and looking down into his mother’s pain filled and frightened eyes.
At first it didn’t seem like her. The brown hair she’d always wear up in a bun hung limp and dry against her shoulders. The dark make up she’d outline her eyes in was gone, instead replaced by inflamed skin and purple shadows underneath. The formal attire she’d adopt even on weekends was gone too, replaced by a woolly jumper and a pair of old jeans.
Mum? Oh Mum . . .
“Shh, honey,” she shook her head, smiling as she wiped her face with her hand, “Don’t try and speak. You’re okay, you’re safe now,”
Aoi couldn’t quite feel anything in his body just yet, and as he saw one of the white coated people inject something into an open tube in his arm, he felt the darkness come again to take him.
Mum . . . Dad . . . I love you
“We love you, Yuu,”
*
A/N: This is NOT THE END! I promise!!! I had to end it here because silly LJ thought the post was TOO LONG!!! DDD< *steams* (>///////////////////<)