West Wing Fic: And Possibly Poughkeepsie

[mcgarrygirl78]

Title: And Possibly Poughkeepsie
Author: Montiese
Prompt: Toby and Huck, grown up
Fandom: The West Wing
Rating: CHILD
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Toby Ziegler, Huck Wyatt Ziegler
Warning: Nope.
Disclaimer: belongs to Sorkin and the gang, I make no money, you know the deal.......
Summary: "You don't desert your friends...you taught me that."
Note:  much love to

Comments

[thecolourclear]

Something about this felt off. I think it's the distinct lack of Molly.

Like, ok, Huck's third in his class, can go anywhere he wants, talks about a friend wanting to go to Vasser, but there's nothing about ... Molly. He was Student Council Vice-President, co-captain of the Forensics Team, staffer on the yearbook committee, and features editor of the school newspaper. His classmates also voted him Junior Prom King. Last month he scored a 1520 on his SAT and received word that Sci-Fi and Fantasy Magazine would publish two of his stories. But ... is Molly just failing life? Scraping the barrel? Why is one twin so extremely exalted and not the other? There's nothing about her. You hardly know she exists. Not even a hint of what Molly wants for herself or Huck, or how Toby feels about the choices both his children are making. The only thing you get of her is some reference to the day she was born, 17 years prior. There's no indication at all that Huck is shaped by anything of his sister, which, drawing on early!twin canon, isn't true,

[mcgarrygirl78]

I was coming at it from a different POV, as I have Huck and Molly later living separately when Huck moves to NY to be closer to his father. Sure, Huck and Molly are still close, but this story wasn't about her so I wasnt truly considering her while I was writing. And while early twin canon does have him liking what she likes, they are not kids anymore and as fraternal twins I figure that to be different now. I dont look at 'Huck and Molly' as one word, one entity. They are two distinct people in my mind, me having a much firmer understanding of him, and that's how I wrote this piece.

I definitely appreciate you speaking your mind, all feedback is good feedback as long as its not a flame or anything. This story was a challenge for me, as Huck is still about 10 in my head on most days. I'm proud of it, and I'm glad you took the time to read it and comment on it. No need to be sorry.

[thecolourclear]

I have Huck and Molly later living separately when Huck moves to NY to be closer to his father

Which ... I didn't know reading the story. :/

A ten in terms of .. what? On a scale of what? 1-10? Right now, Torchwood is a ... very very high one. And a two. And a three. Possibly four and five too. :)

What sucks is that it's so expensive on Amazon for just 13 episodes! WANT!

[mcgarrygirl78]

Um, I dont figure the Torchwood stuff is directed at me : )

I guess I didnt feel the need to make a big deal about the move because it was just a moment in time story. The people who read me regularly would probably know and I figured others would just look at it as a moment between father and son, not even concerning themselves with who lived with who. Perhaps I should have been clearer and treated as if no one knew what POV I was writing from. Something for me to think about as I write more stories.

[keeper_of_stars]

Congratulations on participating in Sorkin Fest! Thanks again for your interest and support. :D