My thought process is really fucked up. I have been in such a wonderful, happy mood the past couple of weeks that I don't know what is going on with me. Nothing seems horrible, and nothing seems dark
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Not sure about the brain, but after rough sex... I definitely prefer to calm things down in a very loving nature with someone i love. Like it's two sides of the coin and after one you need the other.
I don't know if any of this is going to help but I'll tell you anyway.
I genuinely confuse myself sometimes. Sometimes I'm convinced I'm insane only to turn around and become the guy my friends come to for advice. I often feel like it's a conflict of interests so to speak, but I don't know what else to do. Oh some level I suppose I can relate.
I think it's ok to rely on someone for help, I think it's ok to need someone's help, cause there are just so many things we cannot do on our own. You just have to know when to separate from them, especially when they become more harmful than helpful. I mean I needed someone to stitch me up cause I sure as hell can't do that myself. I went to a therapist for a few months. There were some friends I thought I needed but they started treating me like shit so I cut them off.
Part of BDSM is believing that we are not enough - we either need to be dominated and cared for by another, or we recognize that we need to do that for another, but either way our personal characters are such that being alone isn't enough. So I don't think there's a contradiction.
Also, there are great Doms out there who can humiliate you one minute and hold, stroke and love you the next. Hard to find, yes, but we're around ;) Most subs of quality that I've met seek that kind, not the 24-7 abuse that sometimes you hear about. That gets old, frustrating and hurtful very quickly.
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I genuinely confuse myself sometimes. Sometimes I'm convinced I'm insane only to turn around and become the guy my friends come to for advice. I often feel like it's a conflict of interests so to speak, but I don't know what else to do. Oh some level I suppose I can relate.
I think it's ok to rely on someone for help, I think it's ok to need someone's help, cause there are just so many things we cannot do on our own. You just have to know when to separate from them, especially when they become more harmful than helpful. I mean I needed someone to stitch me up cause I sure as hell can't do that myself. I went to a therapist for a few months. There were some friends I thought I needed but they started treating me like shit so I cut them off.
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Also, there are great Doms out there who can humiliate you one minute and hold, stroke and love you the next. Hard to find, yes, but we're around ;)
Most subs of quality that I've met seek that kind, not the 24-7 abuse that sometimes you hear about. That gets old, frustrating and hurtful very quickly.
Reply
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