Your Love Is My Drug (but so is Heroin)
ʚ Title: Your Love Is My Drug (but so is Heroin) for hojichadust ♡
ʚ Pairing(s): Baekhyun/Kyungsoo
ʚ Rating: PG-13
ʚ Word Count: 3,900 words
ʚ Summary: Kyungsoo is going through heroin withdrawals and it sadly seems like Baekhyun is going to be the biggest help out of the entire group.
ʚ Author’s notes/Messages for the recipient: I’ll admit I had plenty to research for this prompt but I got it done for the lovely prompter! For the comedic parts (that is, if they were funny; if not, just ignore this), I used those as a way to ease the tension a bit! Thank you for this prompt - it was lots of fun to write it. I hope you enjoy! A shoutout to P and M for making me exercise my writing skills, and for always being there for me.
Kyungsoo already wants to go home.
”The sea awaits!” Chanyeol bellows, grinning at the sun with his hands on his waist, adjusting the boat captain hat that
he had bought in the gift shop before boarding the large boat. “Are you excited to spend a good five days on the vast waters,
friends?”
”The way he’s acting, it’s like he expects to see a mermaid,” Baekhyun scoffs, walking up beside him. Baekhyun looks
over, hoping for a reaction but Kyungsoo just scratches his arms and sighs.
Kyungsoo takes another step onto the cruise ship, pulling his luggage behind him. The sun was much too bright for a
Wednesday afternoon. He wasn’t exactly sure why he agreed to board the ship, with people he barely liked but when he
glances around he remembers - ah, the parent free environment. No more arguing, no more chores and moreso, no more
hiding in his room ‘doing homework’ because everyone knows Kyungsoo finishes his homework at school so that he has
time at home for…other things.
He takes another deep breath, closing his eyes as he continues down the deck where others were already making way
towards their rooms. That was something Kyungsoo wanted to see.
”I’m gonna go check out our rooms,” Kyungsoo mutters, rolling past his perplexed friends who don’t stop him.
Kyungsoo’s smacks his lips together, his mouth suddenly growing dry. Everything good had to have a con, he supposes. He
groans, rolling his neck as he makes his way down the hall of rooms, scanning for Room 235. Walking down the hall,
Kyungsoo could see there were too many people for the cruise ship. Maybe we’ll sink, Kyungsoo hums, continuing
down the hall.
Finally, he comes to a blue painted door with the golden numbers hammered in. Kyungsoo slides the key card slowly
and yawns, turning the door handle and walking in, turning on the lights. He wheels his luggage over to the bed and throws it
up, unzipping it carefully and swinging the top open.
He grins at first, but soon realizing what he had hoped to be there, was in fact, not there.
He digs around his clothes, searching for his tiny bags of white powder but nothing. Frantic, he turns his luggage upside
down and dumps everything out - clothes, chargers, underwear and towels fall out along with a toothbrush, a stuffed animal
and a few hats but nothing else. Kyungsoo starts to breathe faster. No way, there’s no way he could have forgotten
the one thing that was keeping him going.
With a loud thump, the door is swung open.
”Hyung!” Kyungsoo ignores Jongin as he bounces into his room, plopping down onto his bed. “Wow, you sure are
excited to unpack.”
”I forgot it,” Kyungsoo whispers, staring at his mess of a unpacking on the bed with wide eyes. “I left it at home.”
”Forgot what?” Jongin cocks his head to the side, staring at Kyungsoo who signs, letting his head fall back as he closed
his eyes.
Kyungsoo then, starts to repack. He shoves his clothes back into the luggage, folded or not, and throws everything else
in without much care. “I need to go back home. I forgot something important.”
”What?” Kyungsoo is lready wheeling his luggage out the room. “Hyung, don’t be silly. Whatever you forgot I’m sure we
have extra of.”
Kyungsoo scoffs. “I highly doubt.”
”Ah, Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol is already laid out in a tanning chair, sunglasses on. Kyungsoo has no choice to come to a
stop and stare at his long limbs and stretched out arms. “Did you come to join me in my fantastic tanning experience? I
looked up ways to tan the fastest without getting sunburns and do you want to know the secret?”
”Hyung said he’s leaving,” Jongin explains and Chanyeol laughs, sitting up.
”Leaving?”
”I forgot something,” Kyungsoo says again, making his way for the way off the cruise. He turns just in time to see the
dock disappear from his sight.
There was no way Kyungsoo was going to survive the week.
It was one thing to forget his stash of heroin but another to be stuck in the middle of the sea with his...unique group of
friends. He feels a weight on his bed and Kyungsoo removes his arm that was casted over his eyes and peeks at who the
guest was.
”You’re on a cruise but by the means of how you’re acting, it’s like you’re attending a funeral,” Baekhyun laughs, his
eyes making the perfect smile. Kyungsoo blinks at him and Baekhyun shugs. “The door to your room was unlocked and I
haven’t seen you all day so I just came in to check.”
Kyungsoo places his arm over his eyes again. “You didn’t have to.”
Kyungsoo feels Baekhyun shrug again by the weight shifting. “You’re sweating, you know. Are you hot?”
”No,” Kyungsoo replies. And he wasn’t. But he was sweating nevertheless. He also threw up a few times but decided it
was better not to tell Baekhyun.
“Are you sick?” He asks after a while.
”No.” And it’s silent again.
”You know, you’ve been acting weird for a few months now.” Kyungsoo feels Baekhyun kick up his feet and lay down on
the bed next to Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo shifts his weight, not to give Baekhyun room, but because he felt uncomfortable.
Discomfort. His muscles ached.
”Have I?”
”Yeah.” It’s silent again and it’s silent enough for Kyungsoo to hear the waves crashing outside. The waves remind him
of the swimming pool near his house. He wants to go home. “You know, you’re really happy one second and then you’re
cussing a few minutes later,” Baekhyun explains but Kyungsoo doesn’t remember asking him to.
”I’m tired. You should leave,” Kyungsoo says, rolling to his side, pulling the covers over his head.
”Are you sure you’re not - “
”Leave,” Kyungsoo interrupts. Guilt seeps in and Kyungsoo sighs. “Please.”
Baekhyun lays still for a second before getting up. “Okay.” Baekhyun shuffles out the room and for a second Kyungsoo
holds his breath, wondering if Baekhyun had really left or not. “We’re going to go swimming later. You should come,”
Baekhyun’s voice calls from the door.
”Thanks, I’ll keep it in mind.”
”Okay.”
The door shuts and Kyungsoo crawls out from under the covers and lays there, still for a moment. His muscles still hurt.
Kyungsoo sniffs, because his nose has been oddly running since this morning, and wipes the sweat off his forehead.
He pulls out his phone and googles heroin withdrawal symptoms and shortly after he runs for the washroom,
hurling into the toilet.
Day 1 of heroin withdrawal starts today, Kyungsoo supposes.
”Ding dang dong!”
Kyungsoo takes a deep breath as the door slam open and a deep voice chuckles, muttering something about the anime.
Kyungsoo doesn’t even have to open his eyes to know it’s -
”Chanyeol, I really don’t think we should bother him.”
”Quiet, Jongin. I’m the captain of our ship.”
”Chanyeol.” It’s only then does Kyungsoo realize that Junmyeon is in the room as well. Kyungsoo groans, irritated. How
many of them were here? Were they expecting to have a party?
”Why are you all here? Get out,” Kyungsoo mutters, attempting to get them to leave but it seems to only encourage them
for Kyungsoo hears the sound of a plate clattering and a weight on his bed, once again.
”We bought you some food,” Sehun explains and Chanyeol follows up with, “you’re missing out on the god-like buffet.
It’s some serious food talk going on out there.”
”Kyungsoo, you haven’t eaten since we got on the cruise and it’s already 11PM,” Junmyeon pats his leg and Kyungsoo
moves it away from his touch. “Are you sick?”
”Baekhyun said that he said he isn’t.”
”Where is Baekhyun anyways?”
”He said he had something to do. Like research something. But I don’t know what he would - “
”Why are you all still here?” Kyungsoo finally says, sitting up. Junmyeon looks at him surprised and Jongin
grimaces.
”I told you we should have left him alone.”
Chanyeol doesn’t give up despite Jongin’s protests. “Because we care about you, Soo-boy.” He has the nerve to lean
down and ruffle his hair. Chanyeol’s eyes suddenly widen. “Woah, you have dilated pupils.” He pauses, squinting. “Are you
crying?”
”No, they’re watering. I’m tired.” Kyungsoo swats at his arm. “Now leave. All of you. Get out.”
”But - “
”Out.” Kyungsoo gets to his feet (for the first time in a while) and almost loses his balance but he steadies himself with
the bed. He grabs Jumyeon to his feet, pushing his friends out his door.
”Kyungsoo - “
He stops and he stares at the four boys in front of him. They were concerned but fuck, what could he say? ‘Sorry
I’m such a dick at the moment, I’m going through heroin withdrawal’? Certainly not.
”I’m fine. Enjoy the cruise. I’m just tired.” And he closes the door right in their faces right when Chanyeol opens his
mouth because he had heard that deep voice one too many times today.
Kyungsoo doesn’t make the mistake of leaving his door unlocked again.
Which, in a way, was still a mistake because there was some fucking douche who was standing outside his door,
knocking. And apparently, would not stop. Kyungsoo sighs, irritated, and glances at the digital clock on his bedside - 2AM.
Who the fuck would knock on his door at this time?
Another knock is enough to drive Kyungsoo out of his bed, swinging the door open. “What the fuck do you wa - “
”Heroin.”
Kyungsoo feels his throat go dry. Baekhyun is breathing heavily, his eyes wide and with one hand on the door frame,
and one pointing at Kyungsoo, he says it again: “Heroin.”
Kyungsoo coughs, clearing his throat. “You knocked on my door at fucking 2AM to say that?” He scoffs, acting unmoved
but inside his heart is beating so fast he’s sure Baekhyun can hear. Kyungsoo is about to close the door - getaway is so
close - but Baekhyun puts out his foot, stopping the door from closing.
”Fucking hell.” He pushes the door open and pushes past Kyungsoo too, grimacing with each step, and paces in the
room. “Fucking heroin. What the fuck were you doing with heroin, Kyungsoo?”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. “What are you talking about, Baekhyun? I’m tired - my body hurts all over.”
”That’s one of the symptoms!” Baekhyun explains, eyes wide with horror. “Fucking muscle aches or something like that,”
Baekhyun says, his eyebrows furrowing as he thinks hard. “Fucking hell, Kyungsoo.”
”I still don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Baekhyun finally looks up at Kyungsoo, right in his eyes and Kyungsoo can’t keep the eye contact going for long.
”Kyungsoo, when did you become a heroin addict?”
Fuck.
”I think it’s a sign.”
Kyungsoo’s tired but he’s not sleepy. Which is why he’s sitting in the chair in the corner of the room, rubbing his
forehead as Baekhyun lies on his bed, staring up at the celling.
Kyungsoo groans, agitated. “What’s a sign, Baekhyun?” He asks, although he doesn’t really want to know.
”I mean, out of all people, I’m the one who found out.” He sits up and Kyungsoo has to look up at him, faking
interest. “I think its fate.”
Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. “Fate.”
”Yeah, like God specifically chose me to help you with withdrawals.” Baekhyun suddenly grins. “I guess, like it or not, I’m
going to be with you a lot during this cruise.”
Kyungsoo sighs, rubbing his forehead again. He had a major headache. True, out of all people, why did it have to be
Baekhyun? “Yeah, yeah, could you just not tell the members about this?”
Baekhyun frowns. “Why not?”
”I’m not ready yet,” Kyungsoo stammers and Baekhyun smiles, giggling.
”You’re so cute, Soo,” he coos and Kyungsoo only groans.
”Please.”
Baekhyun grins and Kyungsoo was beginning to grow annoyed at how Baekhyun was so happy about the situation at
hand. “Don’t you worry, Soo. I’ll help you through withdrawals. In fact, you can call me Dr. Byun.”
Kyungsoo blinks, staring at the bright-eyed boy. He groans for what seems the be the twentieth time since Baekhyun
entered the room and can practically feel his headache grow.
If it wasn’t insomnia, it was cramps and if it wasn’t cramps, it was depression.
And if it wasn’t depression, Kyungsoo was stuck in the washroom.
Only today, he wasn’t in the washroom because he was throwing up. God, throwing up seemed like a blessing at this
point.
”Woah, what the fuck happened in here?” For once, Kyungsoo is grateful to hear Baekhyun’s voice.
”In here,” Kyungsoo calls out before moaning again, clutching his stomach. “Do you have the toilet paper?”
”Are you in the washroom, buddy? God, don’t tell me it’s you making the hotel room smell like trash.” Baekhyun
pauses before bursting out in giggles. “Wait, don’t tell me - do you have diarrhea?”
Kyungsoo moans again and he’s not sure because of the pain he’s feeling, or because of Baekhyun. “The toilet
paper, Baekhyun.”
Baekhyun can’t stop laughing. It was bad enough Baekhyun knew his secret now, but it was even worse to have him see
this side of Do Kyungsoo. “How am I supposed to give it to you? God, why’d you close the washroom door? I bet it’s
ten times worse in there than it is out here.”
”Just leave it at the door.”
”You know what else you should have asked me to bring? Air freshener. That would have been smart.”
”Baekhyun.”
”Okay, I’m leaving. You know, in a way, I suppose karma really came around for you, huh? Because diarrhea is a
symptom to heroin withdrawals.”
”Goodbye, Baekhyun.”
”Just saying. I bet if you asked Chanyeol for toilet paper, he’d probably ask you why and if you said diarrhea, he’d
probably ask how you got it, and you’d be forced to give up the image of chic drug-free Kyungsoo for a Kyungsoo
who can’t stop pooping.”
”Baekhyun, I’ll call you when I need you, okay? Can you go now?”
Baekhyun laughs, but to Kyungsoo it sounds more like a cackle. “Sure thing, poopster.”
Kyungsoo groans again.
”Baekhyun, I really don’t feel like exercising.”
”No one ever feels like exercising,” Baekhyun replies and Kyungsoo shrugs. He had a point.
”Okay, but why am I going to the gym?” Kyungsoo sighs, being pulled along by Baekhyun. “Why do they even have a
gym on the cruise?”
”For situations like this,” he exclaims, pushing open a door. To Kyungsoo’s horror, inside he sees Junmyeon running on
a treadmill, Jongin lifting weights and Chanyeol was posing for a picture while Sehun took it with his phone. “You know,
you’re supposed to work out in a gym; not fake it.”
Chanyeol casts the dumbbells he was holding aside and grins. “Kyungsoo! I feel like a week has pass since I saw
you.”
Kyungsoo smiles weakly and pulls Baekhyun aside. “I don’t want to be here.”
”This’ll help you; trust me. Spending time with other people is a good distraction, you know, as long as the people aren’t
drug users. Besides, we’re not going to do hard exercise because it’s not appropriate for people in early recovery, but we’re
just gonna walk on the treadmill.” He holds up a finger, and straightens his back, “Distraction is important when going
through withdrawals. If people are focused on their symptoms, they will only end up intensifying them.” His back slouches
again and he grins. “Unless you want to go through your pooping problems again.”
”Kyungsoo had pooping problems?” Sehun’s managed to creep over without anyone noticing.
Baekhyun whips his head back startled. Kyungsoo just sighs. “No, I was just kidding. Anyways, Kyungsoo’s feeling a lot
better now so he thought he’d join us.”
”Glad to have you back,” Jongin says, smiling meekly. Kyungsoo waves awkwardly for he feels as if he hadn’t seen
these people for longer than a few hours. “Were you sea sick before?”
”Uh, yeah, just a little nausea. That’s all. Thanks for worrying.”
”That’s what friends are for,” Chanyeol booms, walking over and ruffling Kyungsoo’s hair. “Maybe later, we can head on
down to that buffet - “
Kyungsoo’ s stomach lurches at the thought of food and he suddenly gags, covering his mouth before running out of the
room.
Right before the door closes behind him, he can hear Chanyeol going, “what did I say?” and Sehun answering with, “it
must have just been your face.”
Once his stomach settles, Kyungsoo lays in his bed, eyes closed. What he’d really like is just one wink of sleep, and
maybe, Baekhyun here next to him.
”Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo says, once he’s dialled the older boy’s number and he picks up. He hated to rely on him like this
- Kyungsoo hated to rely on people, period. “I can’t sleep.”
”What’s the stich, Kyungsoo?”
He yawns. “You know how you said spending time with other people is a good distraction?” He pauses. “I need a
distraction right now.”
Baekhyun’s quiet on the other end and he whispers a “give me a second” before hanging up.
”Why’d you start using heroin, anyways?” Baekhyun is laying across the bed, his head off the edge whereas Kyungsoo
sits with his back against the headboard.
”Kyungsoo shrugs, leaning his head back. “It made me feel good. But after a while, it wore off but I had to keep using it
to not feel bad. It’s weird. You wouldn’t understand.”
”You’re going to stop, right?” Baekhyun lifts his head but doesn’t move his body. “Using heroin, I mean. Once we get
back on land, you won’t be using it anymore, right?”
Kyungsoo laughs. “I guess. I don’t know. If I’m going through hell right now, I sure don’t want to do it again.”
”How long have you used it?” Baekhyun whispers.
”About a few months now.”
Baekhyun only hums in response.
”You’re ashamed.”
”What? No.”
”Yes. Yes, you are. You’re ashamed that I got addicted to drugs.”
”God, no.” Baekhyun sits up. “No. It’s just - fuck, Kyungsoo, what if you overdosed? What if you lost control?”
”But I didn’t.”
”But what if you did?”
Kyungsoo’s silent and suddenly, he just really wants to kiss Baekhyun. On regular days, Baekhyun annoyed Kyungsoo
like no other but the past few days, he was the only one by his side. Kyungsoo just really wants to kiss Baekhyun.
So he does.
”You don’t need heroin to feel good,” Baekhyun says, staring at him.
”I know that now, fuck.” Kyungsoo really wants Baekhyun to stop talking so he can kiss him again.
”Am I just a distraction?” Baekhyun whispers and Kyungsoo shakes his head.
”No, god, fuck no.” And Kyungsoo kisses him again before pushing him down on the bed, and again and again, until his
lips are swollen and he’s forgotten all about withdrawals and heroin, period.
Baekhyun was not just a distraction, but he was a fairly good interference with Kyungsoo’s mornings.
By the time Kyungsoo was awake, Baekhyun was already dressed and fixing his hair by the mirror in front of the bed.
“Good morning.”
”Morning,” Baekhyun hums and he smiles at Kyungsoo with his reflection. “Did you sleep well?”
”The first time all week.”
Baekhyun smiles again before turning around and pursing his lips at Kyungsoo. “I’ve been thinking that you should tell
the others.”
”About us?”
”About the heroin.”
Kyungsoo grits his teeth and sighs. “Why?”
”Because they’re your friends. You need support.”
”I have support.”
”Kyungsoo.”
”Baekhyun.”
Baekhyun groans and runs a hand through his hair. “Try. Please?”
Kyungsoo rubs his neck and closes his eyes. “Fine.”
”It’s movie night,” Baekhyun is saying as Kyungsoo picks at the chicken on his plate. He still wasn’t hungry but he forcing
it down his throat. “We should join them. Especially after the gym incident.”
”Okay.”
”They should be starting the movie soon. Junmyeon told me it’s in Sehun’s room tonight. You know, comedy movies are
good distractions.”
”Let’s go then,” Kyungsoo pushes the plate away and Baekhyun eyes the uneaten chicken before giving him a look but
Kyungsoo is already making his way to the room.
Rip it off like a band-aid, he’s thinking. He’ll just come out and say it - I’m going through heroin withdrawals. But
when he pushes the door to Sehun’s room open, he swallows his words once he sees their faces.
”Kyungsoo?”
”You’re joining us for the movie?” Jongin asks, grinning while patting the space next to him on the bed.
”Are you sure you won’t leave us this time?” Chanyeol asks, furrowing his eyebrows.
”Yes, I’ll try.” He moves into the room and sits next to Jongin, bitterly. He still felt awkward which was something he
hated. God, they weren’t strangers, they were his friends. It was embarrassing that he was ashamaed to be himself around
them and he figured, heck, if they were really his friends, wouldn’t they accept who he was? Withdrawals and all? And just
by the thought of it, his stomach hurls again and he runs for the bathroom.
”God, Kyungsoo, you shouldn’t have come on the cruise if you’re easily sea sick.” Chanyeol grimaces, leaning against
the doorframe of the bathroom while the others stand around, watching nervously. Junmyeon rubs his back while Kyungsoo
wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.
”I’m not easily sea sick,” he finally says and suddenly a face appears behind the group. Baekhyun’s finally caught
up.
”Hmm?” Sehun cocks his head to the side and Kyungsoo closes his head. His mouth tastes like throw up.
”I’m going through heroin withdrawals. I’ve been addicted to heroin for a few months now and I forgot my stash at home
which has forced me into going into withdrawals during this cruise. But I’ve realized that I don’t need a drug to make myself
feel good. ‘Surround yourself with good people’ is what I tend to believe in now. You’re the good people I need to surround
myself with.” He pauses, looking at Baekhyun. “I think its fate. I’d probably still be using heroin right now if I hadn’t forgotten
it but God’s given me another chance to change my life and I’m going to take it.”
”Heroin?” Junmyeon repeats and Kyungsoo nods.
It’s silent for a second and Kyungsoo thinks, fuck, now he’s done it. He’s ruined everything he had left but Junmyeon just
pats his back and stands up. “You’ll get through this. We’ll help you.”
”Guess we can’t watch 21 Jumpstreet, huh?” Sehun is saying to Jongin as the two leave the bathroom and Chanyeol
hits him upside the head.
Baekhyun leans against the wall, arms crossed while Kyungsoo continued to sit on the washroom floor, breathing slowly.
He listens to the band members in the living room, discuss a different movie and he leans his head back. “It’s like I just
announced my last name.”
Baekhyun shrugs. “You’re still Kyungsoo to them.”
Kyungsoo closes his eyes and then stands up, dusting his pants off. “That’s because I am still Kyungsoo.”
Baekhyun laughs quietly and gestures for him to follow. “Come on, we better help them pick a movie or Sehun’s going to
be whining the entire time.”
And Kyungsoo nods, slipping his hand into Baekhyun’s. He figures he has better things to be addicted to rather than
heroin. Or rather a better thing, and when Baekhyun whispers that once the movie is over, they can go to his
room, Kyungsoo knows he’s right.
ʚ Pairing(s): Baekhyun/Kyungsoo
ʚ Rating: PG-13
ʚ Word Count: 3,900 words
ʚ Summary: Kyungsoo is going through heroin withdrawals and it sadly seems like Baekhyun is going to be the biggest help out of the entire group.
ʚ Author’s notes/Messages for the recipient: I’ll admit I had plenty to research for this prompt but I got it done for the lovely prompter! For the comedic parts (that is, if they were funny; if not, just ignore this), I used those as a way to ease the tension a bit! Thank you for this prompt - it was lots of fun to write it. I hope you enjoy! A shoutout to P and M for making me exercise my writing skills, and for always being there for me.
Kyungsoo already wants to go home.
”The sea awaits!” Chanyeol bellows, grinning at the sun with his hands on his waist, adjusting the boat captain hat that
he had bought in the gift shop before boarding the large boat. “Are you excited to spend a good five days on the vast waters,
friends?”
”The way he’s acting, it’s like he expects to see a mermaid,” Baekhyun scoffs, walking up beside him. Baekhyun looks
over, hoping for a reaction but Kyungsoo just scratches his arms and sighs.
Kyungsoo takes another step onto the cruise ship, pulling his luggage behind him. The sun was much too bright for a
Wednesday afternoon. He wasn’t exactly sure why he agreed to board the ship, with people he barely liked but when he
glances around he remembers - ah, the parent free environment. No more arguing, no more chores and moreso, no more
hiding in his room ‘doing homework’ because everyone knows Kyungsoo finishes his homework at school so that he has
time at home for…other things.
He takes another deep breath, closing his eyes as he continues down the deck where others were already making way
towards their rooms. That was something Kyungsoo wanted to see.
”I’m gonna go check out our rooms,” Kyungsoo mutters, rolling past his perplexed friends who don’t stop him.
Kyungsoo’s smacks his lips together, his mouth suddenly growing dry. Everything good had to have a con, he supposes. He
groans, rolling his neck as he makes his way down the hall of rooms, scanning for Room 235. Walking down the hall,
Kyungsoo could see there were too many people for the cruise ship. Maybe we’ll sink, Kyungsoo hums, continuing
down the hall.
Finally, he comes to a blue painted door with the golden numbers hammered in. Kyungsoo slides the key card slowly
and yawns, turning the door handle and walking in, turning on the lights. He wheels his luggage over to the bed and throws it
up, unzipping it carefully and swinging the top open.
He grins at first, but soon realizing what he had hoped to be there, was in fact, not there.
He digs around his clothes, searching for his tiny bags of white powder but nothing. Frantic, he turns his luggage upside
down and dumps everything out - clothes, chargers, underwear and towels fall out along with a toothbrush, a stuffed animal
and a few hats but nothing else. Kyungsoo starts to breathe faster. No way, there’s no way he could have forgotten
the one thing that was keeping him going.
With a loud thump, the door is swung open.
”Hyung!” Kyungsoo ignores Jongin as he bounces into his room, plopping down onto his bed. “Wow, you sure are
excited to unpack.”
”I forgot it,” Kyungsoo whispers, staring at his mess of a unpacking on the bed with wide eyes. “I left it at home.”
”Forgot what?” Jongin cocks his head to the side, staring at Kyungsoo who signs, letting his head fall back as he closed
his eyes.
Kyungsoo then, starts to repack. He shoves his clothes back into the luggage, folded or not, and throws everything else
in without much care. “I need to go back home. I forgot something important.”
”What?” Kyungsoo is lready wheeling his luggage out the room. “Hyung, don’t be silly. Whatever you forgot I’m sure we
have extra of.”
Kyungsoo scoffs. “I highly doubt.”
”Ah, Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol is already laid out in a tanning chair, sunglasses on. Kyungsoo has no choice to come to a
stop and stare at his long limbs and stretched out arms. “Did you come to join me in my fantastic tanning experience? I
looked up ways to tan the fastest without getting sunburns and do you want to know the secret?”
”Hyung said he’s leaving,” Jongin explains and Chanyeol laughs, sitting up.
”Leaving?”
”I forgot something,” Kyungsoo says again, making his way for the way off the cruise. He turns just in time to see the
dock disappear from his sight.
There was no way Kyungsoo was going to survive the week.
It was one thing to forget his stash of heroin but another to be stuck in the middle of the sea with his...unique group of
friends. He feels a weight on his bed and Kyungsoo removes his arm that was casted over his eyes and peeks at who the
guest was.
”You’re on a cruise but by the means of how you’re acting, it’s like you’re attending a funeral,” Baekhyun laughs, his
eyes making the perfect smile. Kyungsoo blinks at him and Baekhyun shugs. “The door to your room was unlocked and I
haven’t seen you all day so I just came in to check.”
Kyungsoo places his arm over his eyes again. “You didn’t have to.”
Kyungsoo feels Baekhyun shrug again by the weight shifting. “You’re sweating, you know. Are you hot?”
”No,” Kyungsoo replies. And he wasn’t. But he was sweating nevertheless. He also threw up a few times but decided it
was better not to tell Baekhyun.
“Are you sick?” He asks after a while.
”No.” And it’s silent again.
”You know, you’ve been acting weird for a few months now.” Kyungsoo feels Baekhyun kick up his feet and lay down on
the bed next to Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo shifts his weight, not to give Baekhyun room, but because he felt uncomfortable.
Discomfort. His muscles ached.
”Have I?”
”Yeah.” It’s silent again and it’s silent enough for Kyungsoo to hear the waves crashing outside. The waves remind him
of the swimming pool near his house. He wants to go home. “You know, you’re really happy one second and then you’re
cussing a few minutes later,” Baekhyun explains but Kyungsoo doesn’t remember asking him to.
”I’m tired. You should leave,” Kyungsoo says, rolling to his side, pulling the covers over his head.
”Are you sure you’re not - “
”Leave,” Kyungsoo interrupts. Guilt seeps in and Kyungsoo sighs. “Please.”
Baekhyun lays still for a second before getting up. “Okay.” Baekhyun shuffles out the room and for a second Kyungsoo
holds his breath, wondering if Baekhyun had really left or not. “We’re going to go swimming later. You should come,”
Baekhyun’s voice calls from the door.
”Thanks, I’ll keep it in mind.”
”Okay.”
The door shuts and Kyungsoo crawls out from under the covers and lays there, still for a moment. His muscles still hurt.
Kyungsoo sniffs, because his nose has been oddly running since this morning, and wipes the sweat off his forehead.
He pulls out his phone and googles heroin withdrawal symptoms and shortly after he runs for the washroom,
hurling into the toilet.
Day 1 of heroin withdrawal starts today, Kyungsoo supposes.
”Ding dang dong!”
Kyungsoo takes a deep breath as the door slam open and a deep voice chuckles, muttering something about the anime.
Kyungsoo doesn’t even have to open his eyes to know it’s -
”Chanyeol, I really don’t think we should bother him.”
”Quiet, Jongin. I’m the captain of our ship.”
”Chanyeol.” It’s only then does Kyungsoo realize that Junmyeon is in the room as well. Kyungsoo groans, irritated. How
many of them were here? Were they expecting to have a party?
”Why are you all here? Get out,” Kyungsoo mutters, attempting to get them to leave but it seems to only encourage them
for Kyungsoo hears the sound of a plate clattering and a weight on his bed, once again.
”We bought you some food,” Sehun explains and Chanyeol follows up with, “you’re missing out on the god-like buffet.
It’s some serious food talk going on out there.”
”Kyungsoo, you haven’t eaten since we got on the cruise and it’s already 11PM,” Junmyeon pats his leg and Kyungsoo
moves it away from his touch. “Are you sick?”
”Baekhyun said that he said he isn’t.”
”Where is Baekhyun anyways?”
”He said he had something to do. Like research something. But I don’t know what he would - “
”Why are you all still here?” Kyungsoo finally says, sitting up. Junmyeon looks at him surprised and Jongin
grimaces.
”I told you we should have left him alone.”
Chanyeol doesn’t give up despite Jongin’s protests. “Because we care about you, Soo-boy.” He has the nerve to lean
down and ruffle his hair. Chanyeol’s eyes suddenly widen. “Woah, you have dilated pupils.” He pauses, squinting. “Are you
crying?”
”No, they’re watering. I’m tired.” Kyungsoo swats at his arm. “Now leave. All of you. Get out.”
”But - “
”Out.” Kyungsoo gets to his feet (for the first time in a while) and almost loses his balance but he steadies himself with
the bed. He grabs Jumyeon to his feet, pushing his friends out his door.
”Kyungsoo - “
He stops and he stares at the four boys in front of him. They were concerned but fuck, what could he say? ‘Sorry
I’m such a dick at the moment, I’m going through heroin withdrawal’? Certainly not.
”I’m fine. Enjoy the cruise. I’m just tired.” And he closes the door right in their faces right when Chanyeol opens his
mouth because he had heard that deep voice one too many times today.
Kyungsoo doesn’t make the mistake of leaving his door unlocked again.
Which, in a way, was still a mistake because there was some fucking douche who was standing outside his door,
knocking. And apparently, would not stop. Kyungsoo sighs, irritated, and glances at the digital clock on his bedside - 2AM.
Who the fuck would knock on his door at this time?
Another knock is enough to drive Kyungsoo out of his bed, swinging the door open. “What the fuck do you wa - “
”Heroin.”
Kyungsoo feels his throat go dry. Baekhyun is breathing heavily, his eyes wide and with one hand on the door frame,
and one pointing at Kyungsoo, he says it again: “Heroin.”
Kyungsoo coughs, clearing his throat. “You knocked on my door at fucking 2AM to say that?” He scoffs, acting unmoved
but inside his heart is beating so fast he’s sure Baekhyun can hear. Kyungsoo is about to close the door - getaway is so
close - but Baekhyun puts out his foot, stopping the door from closing.
”Fucking hell.” He pushes the door open and pushes past Kyungsoo too, grimacing with each step, and paces in the
room. “Fucking heroin. What the fuck were you doing with heroin, Kyungsoo?”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. “What are you talking about, Baekhyun? I’m tired - my body hurts all over.”
”That’s one of the symptoms!” Baekhyun explains, eyes wide with horror. “Fucking muscle aches or something like that,”
Baekhyun says, his eyebrows furrowing as he thinks hard. “Fucking hell, Kyungsoo.”
”I still don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Baekhyun finally looks up at Kyungsoo, right in his eyes and Kyungsoo can’t keep the eye contact going for long.
”Kyungsoo, when did you become a heroin addict?”
Fuck.
”I think it’s a sign.”
Kyungsoo’s tired but he’s not sleepy. Which is why he’s sitting in the chair in the corner of the room, rubbing his
forehead as Baekhyun lies on his bed, staring up at the celling.
Kyungsoo groans, agitated. “What’s a sign, Baekhyun?” He asks, although he doesn’t really want to know.
”I mean, out of all people, I’m the one who found out.” He sits up and Kyungsoo has to look up at him, faking
interest. “I think its fate.”
Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. “Fate.”
”Yeah, like God specifically chose me to help you with withdrawals.” Baekhyun suddenly grins. “I guess, like it or not, I’m
going to be with you a lot during this cruise.”
Kyungsoo sighs, rubbing his forehead again. He had a major headache. True, out of all people, why did it have to be
Baekhyun? “Yeah, yeah, could you just not tell the members about this?”
Baekhyun frowns. “Why not?”
”I’m not ready yet,” Kyungsoo stammers and Baekhyun smiles, giggling.
”You’re so cute, Soo,” he coos and Kyungsoo only groans.
”Please.”
Baekhyun grins and Kyungsoo was beginning to grow annoyed at how Baekhyun was so happy about the situation at
hand. “Don’t you worry, Soo. I’ll help you through withdrawals. In fact, you can call me Dr. Byun.”
Kyungsoo blinks, staring at the bright-eyed boy. He groans for what seems the be the twentieth time since Baekhyun
entered the room and can practically feel his headache grow.
If it wasn’t insomnia, it was cramps and if it wasn’t cramps, it was depression.
And if it wasn’t depression, Kyungsoo was stuck in the washroom.
Only today, he wasn’t in the washroom because he was throwing up. God, throwing up seemed like a blessing at this
point.
”Woah, what the fuck happened in here?” For once, Kyungsoo is grateful to hear Baekhyun’s voice.
”In here,” Kyungsoo calls out before moaning again, clutching his stomach. “Do you have the toilet paper?”
”Are you in the washroom, buddy? God, don’t tell me it’s you making the hotel room smell like trash.” Baekhyun
pauses before bursting out in giggles. “Wait, don’t tell me - do you have diarrhea?”
Kyungsoo moans again and he’s not sure because of the pain he’s feeling, or because of Baekhyun. “The toilet
paper, Baekhyun.”
Baekhyun can’t stop laughing. It was bad enough Baekhyun knew his secret now, but it was even worse to have him see
this side of Do Kyungsoo. “How am I supposed to give it to you? God, why’d you close the washroom door? I bet it’s
ten times worse in there than it is out here.”
”Just leave it at the door.”
”You know what else you should have asked me to bring? Air freshener. That would have been smart.”
”Baekhyun.”
”Okay, I’m leaving. You know, in a way, I suppose karma really came around for you, huh? Because diarrhea is a
symptom to heroin withdrawals.”
”Goodbye, Baekhyun.”
”Just saying. I bet if you asked Chanyeol for toilet paper, he’d probably ask you why and if you said diarrhea, he’d
probably ask how you got it, and you’d be forced to give up the image of chic drug-free Kyungsoo for a Kyungsoo
who can’t stop pooping.”
”Baekhyun, I’ll call you when I need you, okay? Can you go now?”
Baekhyun laughs, but to Kyungsoo it sounds more like a cackle. “Sure thing, poopster.”
Kyungsoo groans again.
”Baekhyun, I really don’t feel like exercising.”
”No one ever feels like exercising,” Baekhyun replies and Kyungsoo shrugs. He had a point.
”Okay, but why am I going to the gym?” Kyungsoo sighs, being pulled along by Baekhyun. “Why do they even have a
gym on the cruise?”
”For situations like this,” he exclaims, pushing open a door. To Kyungsoo’s horror, inside he sees Junmyeon running on
a treadmill, Jongin lifting weights and Chanyeol was posing for a picture while Sehun took it with his phone. “You know,
you’re supposed to work out in a gym; not fake it.”
Chanyeol casts the dumbbells he was holding aside and grins. “Kyungsoo! I feel like a week has pass since I saw
you.”
Kyungsoo smiles weakly and pulls Baekhyun aside. “I don’t want to be here.”
”This’ll help you; trust me. Spending time with other people is a good distraction, you know, as long as the people aren’t
drug users. Besides, we’re not going to do hard exercise because it’s not appropriate for people in early recovery, but we’re
just gonna walk on the treadmill.” He holds up a finger, and straightens his back, “Distraction is important when going
through withdrawals. If people are focused on their symptoms, they will only end up intensifying them.” His back slouches
again and he grins. “Unless you want to go through your pooping problems again.”
”Kyungsoo had pooping problems?” Sehun’s managed to creep over without anyone noticing.
Baekhyun whips his head back startled. Kyungsoo just sighs. “No, I was just kidding. Anyways, Kyungsoo’s feeling a lot
better now so he thought he’d join us.”
”Glad to have you back,” Jongin says, smiling meekly. Kyungsoo waves awkwardly for he feels as if he hadn’t seen
these people for longer than a few hours. “Were you sea sick before?”
”Uh, yeah, just a little nausea. That’s all. Thanks for worrying.”
”That’s what friends are for,” Chanyeol booms, walking over and ruffling Kyungsoo’s hair. “Maybe later, we can head on
down to that buffet - “
Kyungsoo’ s stomach lurches at the thought of food and he suddenly gags, covering his mouth before running out of the
room.
Right before the door closes behind him, he can hear Chanyeol going, “what did I say?” and Sehun answering with, “it
must have just been your face.”
Once his stomach settles, Kyungsoo lays in his bed, eyes closed. What he’d really like is just one wink of sleep, and
maybe, Baekhyun here next to him.
”Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo says, once he’s dialled the older boy’s number and he picks up. He hated to rely on him like this
- Kyungsoo hated to rely on people, period. “I can’t sleep.”
”What’s the stich, Kyungsoo?”
He yawns. “You know how you said spending time with other people is a good distraction?” He pauses. “I need a
distraction right now.”
Baekhyun’s quiet on the other end and he whispers a “give me a second” before hanging up.
”Why’d you start using heroin, anyways?” Baekhyun is laying across the bed, his head off the edge whereas Kyungsoo
sits with his back against the headboard.
”Kyungsoo shrugs, leaning his head back. “It made me feel good. But after a while, it wore off but I had to keep using it
to not feel bad. It’s weird. You wouldn’t understand.”
”You’re going to stop, right?” Baekhyun lifts his head but doesn’t move his body. “Using heroin, I mean. Once we get
back on land, you won’t be using it anymore, right?”
Kyungsoo laughs. “I guess. I don’t know. If I’m going through hell right now, I sure don’t want to do it again.”
”How long have you used it?” Baekhyun whispers.
”About a few months now.”
Baekhyun only hums in response.
”You’re ashamed.”
”What? No.”
”Yes. Yes, you are. You’re ashamed that I got addicted to drugs.”
”God, no.” Baekhyun sits up. “No. It’s just - fuck, Kyungsoo, what if you overdosed? What if you lost control?”
”But I didn’t.”
”But what if you did?”
Kyungsoo’s silent and suddenly, he just really wants to kiss Baekhyun. On regular days, Baekhyun annoyed Kyungsoo
like no other but the past few days, he was the only one by his side. Kyungsoo just really wants to kiss Baekhyun.
So he does.
”You don’t need heroin to feel good,” Baekhyun says, staring at him.
”I know that now, fuck.” Kyungsoo really wants Baekhyun to stop talking so he can kiss him again.
”Am I just a distraction?” Baekhyun whispers and Kyungsoo shakes his head.
”No, god, fuck no.” And Kyungsoo kisses him again before pushing him down on the bed, and again and again, until his
lips are swollen and he’s forgotten all about withdrawals and heroin, period.
Baekhyun was not just a distraction, but he was a fairly good interference with Kyungsoo’s mornings.
By the time Kyungsoo was awake, Baekhyun was already dressed and fixing his hair by the mirror in front of the bed.
“Good morning.”
”Morning,” Baekhyun hums and he smiles at Kyungsoo with his reflection. “Did you sleep well?”
”The first time all week.”
Baekhyun smiles again before turning around and pursing his lips at Kyungsoo. “I’ve been thinking that you should tell
the others.”
”About us?”
”About the heroin.”
Kyungsoo grits his teeth and sighs. “Why?”
”Because they’re your friends. You need support.”
”I have support.”
”Kyungsoo.”
”Baekhyun.”
Baekhyun groans and runs a hand through his hair. “Try. Please?”
Kyungsoo rubs his neck and closes his eyes. “Fine.”
”It’s movie night,” Baekhyun is saying as Kyungsoo picks at the chicken on his plate. He still wasn’t hungry but he forcing
it down his throat. “We should join them. Especially after the gym incident.”
”Okay.”
”They should be starting the movie soon. Junmyeon told me it’s in Sehun’s room tonight. You know, comedy movies are
good distractions.”
”Let’s go then,” Kyungsoo pushes the plate away and Baekhyun eyes the uneaten chicken before giving him a look but
Kyungsoo is already making his way to the room.
Rip it off like a band-aid, he’s thinking. He’ll just come out and say it - I’m going through heroin withdrawals. But
when he pushes the door to Sehun’s room open, he swallows his words once he sees their faces.
”Kyungsoo?”
”You’re joining us for the movie?” Jongin asks, grinning while patting the space next to him on the bed.
”Are you sure you won’t leave us this time?” Chanyeol asks, furrowing his eyebrows.
”Yes, I’ll try.” He moves into the room and sits next to Jongin, bitterly. He still felt awkward which was something he
hated. God, they weren’t strangers, they were his friends. It was embarrassing that he was ashamaed to be himself around
them and he figured, heck, if they were really his friends, wouldn’t they accept who he was? Withdrawals and all? And just
by the thought of it, his stomach hurls again and he runs for the bathroom.
”God, Kyungsoo, you shouldn’t have come on the cruise if you’re easily sea sick.” Chanyeol grimaces, leaning against
the doorframe of the bathroom while the others stand around, watching nervously. Junmyeon rubs his back while Kyungsoo
wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.
”I’m not easily sea sick,” he finally says and suddenly a face appears behind the group. Baekhyun’s finally caught
up.
”Hmm?” Sehun cocks his head to the side and Kyungsoo closes his head. His mouth tastes like throw up.
”I’m going through heroin withdrawals. I’ve been addicted to heroin for a few months now and I forgot my stash at home
which has forced me into going into withdrawals during this cruise. But I’ve realized that I don’t need a drug to make myself
feel good. ‘Surround yourself with good people’ is what I tend to believe in now. You’re the good people I need to surround
myself with.” He pauses, looking at Baekhyun. “I think its fate. I’d probably still be using heroin right now if I hadn’t forgotten
it but God’s given me another chance to change my life and I’m going to take it.”
”Heroin?” Junmyeon repeats and Kyungsoo nods.
It’s silent for a second and Kyungsoo thinks, fuck, now he’s done it. He’s ruined everything he had left but Junmyeon just
pats his back and stands up. “You’ll get through this. We’ll help you.”
”Guess we can’t watch 21 Jumpstreet, huh?” Sehun is saying to Jongin as the two leave the bathroom and Chanyeol
hits him upside the head.
Baekhyun leans against the wall, arms crossed while Kyungsoo continued to sit on the washroom floor, breathing slowly.
He listens to the band members in the living room, discuss a different movie and he leans his head back. “It’s like I just
announced my last name.”
Baekhyun shrugs. “You’re still Kyungsoo to them.”
Kyungsoo closes his eyes and then stands up, dusting his pants off. “That’s because I am still Kyungsoo.”
Baekhyun laughs quietly and gestures for him to follow. “Come on, we better help them pick a movie or Sehun’s going to
be whining the entire time.”
And Kyungsoo nods, slipping his hand into Baekhyun’s. He figures he has better things to be addicted to rather than
heroin. Or rather a better thing, and when Baekhyun whispers that once the movie is over, they can go to his
room, Kyungsoo knows he’s right.