001; video

[sonny_delight]

[Static. The picture is still coming into focus, but you can hear the drumming of long nails. Finally a woman comes into clarity, cigarette still clenched between her red lips in concentration as she fiddles with the volume on the PCD. Once satisfied she backs off, leaning into the camera like the juiciest confessional.]

No, wait. Don't tell me. [

Comments

[painhumbles]

Oh good. We needed another Alpha Bitch. We haven't met quota yet.

[painhumbles]

So does a massive superiority complex, but I'm not bitching about yours aggravating my ulcers.

[sonny_delight]

Hey, I've seen enough of Lindsey Lohan to know massively fucked when I see it. I have a decent handle on reality given the shit-pile of what the fucking even just pinched out on my plate.

Why don't we start over again, studly. I'm Sonja. To which holy and exalted messenger of the Lord do I have the honor of speaking~?

[painhumbles]

Shame about all those broken mirrors, sweetheart- you oughta look in one.

The Artist Formerly Known As The Messenger.

[sonny_delight]

Dude, I haven't gone to church since I was 12. Who the fuck is the Messenger?

[painhumbles]

Gabriel. And you were doing so well, too.

[sonny_delight]

Nice to meet you, Gabby.

The bullshit is strong in me, but you can only ride it for so long.

[painhumbles]

My name has three syllables. They can go solo, but if you only bring two in, the third gets pissed off. [Meaning it's Gabriel or Gabe. Not Gabby. Fuck your mom.]

Out of all the things I could lie about being, d'you really think angel'd be my first choice? I hear vampires are still the in thing.

[sonny_delight]

So does Gabrielle still fit? We're still in the boundary-testing stage of our relationship. You know the song and dance.

Please, princess, you don't have the swag to pull off sparkle. Put on some fairy wings and I'll get out my roll of singles.

[painhumbles]

Screw the testing stage- we already failed that. You and me? We'd never make it. It's like I'm looking in a slutty mirror.

[sonny_delight]

[HAH. HA. AHAHAHA.]

"Relationship."

1: The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

2: The way in which two or more people or organizations regard and behave toward each other.

Notice how none of that involved laying you down on a bed of roses and being gentle? Zip up and ditch the ruler, kiddo, nobody's interested in swabbing your Q-tip but you.

[painhumbles]

Princess, I think if this continues any further, something's gonna blow up- sex so very optional.

[sonny_delight]

Let me guess- tiny man with a hair-trigger temper? Be more cliché and we can even get you a box of cigars bigger than the dick you wish you had.

[painhumbles]

No, please. Go on. I lost steam ten minutes ago. I'm just waiting to see if you speak anything that's not Vindictive Hateful Bitch.

[sonny_delight]

I speak Snappy Sarcastic Bitch, too, but I tend towards vindictive hate when I'm still washing the interdimensional rape out of my hair.

[painhumbles]

Good thing I'm almost fluent in both. I'd really hate to have break out the Bitchtionary. I always get screwed up when you get to the transitive insults, though.