Of Purple Pumpkins and Princesses (1/1)
Title: Of Purple Pumpkins and Princesses
Author: somehowunbroken
Fandom: SGA/SG1
Characters: Evan/David, John/Cam
Word Count: 4,512
Rating: PG/utter cuteness.
Notes: Written for slashing_lorne's Halloween celebrationg; part of my kids'verse. Robbie and Angel are three, and boy, do they have their own ideas about what Halloween shoud be. Good thing they have everyone on Atlantis wrapped around their fingers.
ETA: calcitrix drew what is possibly the most adorable thing ever to go with the story... look at it here! It's a bit spoilery, so I'd recommend reading first, unless you can't wait (I won't blame you at all) .:D
Evan had never before had as much respect for his mother as he did right now.
“Angel,” he said again, as patiently as he could, “I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s too close to Halloween for you to change your mind.”
Halloween had been interesting with the kids in previous years, when they were still young enough to be dressed as little pumpkins or matching carrots or tiny Satedan warriors (and the look on Ronon’s face had been priceless, thank you very much). This year, though, this year the twins were three.
And picky.
Angel stamped her foot, light brown hair flying through the air as she shook her head. “Daddy! I want to!”
And Evan was seriously considering murder, if he ever found out who’d taught his kids that saying.
“Look, sweetheart,” he tried again. “The Daedalus already picked up your costume from Earth. It’s on its way. It’s too late to change your mind.”
Angel stopped flailing and looked up at him, wide blue eyes filling with tears, lower lip quivering. Evan felt his heart melt a little, though he knew he was being played, and also that there was literally nothing he could do. “Please, Daddy?”
He sighed, swinging her up to sit on his hip, and headed for the other room, where David would be arriving with Robbie any minute. “Why don’t you want to be a cupcake any more?”
Angel sniffed, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck. “Auntie told me she was a princess when she was little,” she said morosely. “She showed me a picture. She was so pretty.”
Evan added Laura Cadman to the List Of People To Kill as he stroked his daughter’s hair. “You’ll be a pretty cupcake, sweetheart. And you can be an even prettier princess than Auntie. Next year.”
Angel’s lower lip started to tremble, but just then the door slid open and David walked in, Robbie ambling along behind him. “Papa!”
Angel leaned for David, arms outstretched, and he plucked her out of Evan’s arms, planting a huge raspberry kiss on her neck. She giggled and fisted her hands in his shirt as Evan tossed Robbie into the air.
The family chatted their way through dinner, Robbie talking about his visit to the greenhouses with Papa, how he’d watched one plant eat another plant, and how Aunt Katie had let him water her spiky Uncle Rodney plant. Angel recounted her tale of woe, complete with fat crocodile tears, but David backed Evan up in telling her that she was stuck being a cupcake, at least this year.
“So, are you going to tell me what you picked, Robbie?” Evan asked. Robbie beamed a huge smile at him, shaking his head and laughing, before sharing a conspiratorial wink with David. Robbie had chosen his costume ages ago, but for whatever reason had decided not to tell Evan, who was making a big production out of not knowing just to amuse his son. He heaved a sigh and pouted glumly.
“I have to wait until Halloween to see it?” he said, and Robbie giggled, nodding.
“It’s a good costume, too,” David said seriously from the end of the table, eyes sparkling. “We’ve got it almost all ready. We’re just waiting for one more piece, but it should be here on the Daedalus.”
Even Angel was grinning now, and Evan didn’t understand how his children, normally such talkative kids, could keep a secret for this long. “Robbie’s got a great costume,” she singsonged. “You’re going to love it.”
Evan looked around and had to smile. His entire family was giggling at him, and for a guy who was pretty sure he’d never have anything even remotely like this… it felt pretty nice.
“Okay, you two,” Evan said, getting up from the table. “Uncle Rodney’s going to watch you tonight while Papa and I go out. Be nice to him, okay?” Evan leveled a mild glare at the twins, who nodded, eyes wide and innocent. McKay rarely babysat for them, but everyone else they’d asked had been busy, and tonight was their standing date night. It wasn’t anything big, usually just a movie, but raising two kids meant that they rarely had any time to themselves. Date night was almost never cancelled, and even Rodney McKay could understand the need for some time away from the kids.
“We promise,” they chorused, and Evan didn’t believe them, not at all. He sighed as the door chimed - impatiently, if that was even possible - and slid open to reveal McKay, standing awkwardly outside.
“Hey,” Evan greeted, grabbing the bag he’d already packed for the twins. It held videos, books, some toys, everything that he could possibly think of to keep his kids entertained and hopefully distracted enough to not bother McKay too much. “Everything should be in there.”
“No, no.” McKay said, smiling almost manically. “We won’t be needing that.”
Evan frowned at him. “What, you’re going to entertain them yourself?”
McKay nodded emphatically, and Angel peeked around the corner, shrieking when she saw him.
“Uncle Rodney!” she yelled, running full-force into his legs and squeezing for dear life. Robbie bounded out a second later, doing the same.
“Yes, hello,” McKay said, trying not to wriggle too much. “Well, we should be going. Leave your parents to their movie. Right?”
The twins nodded, stepped back, and each took a hand, and Evan poked his head out to watch as they led McKay down the hall to the transporter, chattering at a million miles an hour. McKay was nodding to them, talking back just as quickly, and Evan watched after them until the transporter shimmered and opened again, empty.
“Weird,” he muttered as David came in from the kitchen.
“What is?” David asked, shoving a few toys from the floor into a basket against the wall.
“McKay,” Evan said, walking to sit on the couch. “He looked almost excited to take the kids. Refused the toy bag.”
David frowned. “They let him leave the toy bag here?”
“I know,” Evan said, pulling David down next to him. “Like I said, weird.”
-0-
“They don’t look like pumpkins,” Boy Lorne told him seriously. Girl Lorne nodded resolutely, crossing her tiny arms, and Rodney was reminded of why he hadn’t spent much time with Madison at that age. Well, and he’d been stuck in another galaxy.
“Look,” he said, trying not to snap and mostly succeeding. “You asked me two days ago. This is the best I could do.”
The children surveyed the gourds on the table with a too-critical eye, and Rodney mentally cursed the fact that Lorne was an artist, because he could practically feel them comparing colors and hues and whatever else it was that artists did, and finding his pumpkins lacking.
Well, varrin, technically. They weren’t pumpkins. They were the right shape, though, and the right size, even if they were purple with green flecks. They were certainly the closest he’d been able to track down since these two had cornered him in the lab two days before.
“Please, Uncle Rodney,” Girl Lorne had begged. “Daddy says you’re watching us on Date Night this week, and we really, really want to carve pumpkins.”
“We asked Uncle Ronon,” Boy Lorne had added. “But he says that they’re for eating, not for carving.” He turned huge puppy-dog eyes up at Rodney. “But you’re from Earth! You understand!”
Rodney did, indeed, understand the importance of carving pumpkins. He could still clearly recall the Halloween when he was seven, when he’d… well. Yes. He understood.
“I’ll see what I can do,” he had said, sighing dramatically and yet still prepared for the tiny squeals of joy and too-tight hugs around his legs. “No promises, though,” he’d cautioned. The twins had nodded, grinning from ear-to-ear.
And all he’d been able to track down were varrin. Rodney suddenly felt like a horrible, horrible uncle, because what kind of uncle couldn’t even find orange pumpkins, for crying out loud? What kind of kid wanted to carve weird looking gourd things, anyway? Rodney was wondering why, exactly, he’d turned down Lorne’s offer of toys when the children nodded as one.
“They’re pretty,” Girl Lorne said.
“We can make a monster face in mine,” Boy Lorne added.
Rodney let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. “Okay, let’s not be too hasty,” he said, reaching for a knife and slicing into the top of the first varrin. “We have to scoop them out first.”
-0-
“So what are we watching tonight?” David asked, settling into Evan’s side comfortably. Evan clicked around on the laptop, opening this file and that, until he found what he was looking for. David started to laugh as it popped up on the screen.
“What?” Evan asked defensively.
“Nothing,” David said, grinning as he pecked Evan on the cheek. “You’re ridiculous.”
“It’s a classic,” Evan said stubbornly.
“We should have let the kids stay,” David kidded, still grinning. “They’d love it.”
Evan glared at the laptop, where the title screen of It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown was playing. “It’s almost Halloween, and you don’t like horror movies,” he grumbled. “I was just being creative.”
David leaned fully into his side, still smiling. “Thanks for making the effort.”
-0-
Rodney wondered what Lorne was going to do to him when he returned the man’s children stained purple. Varrin, as it turned out, had a soupy sort of goop inside, and when the kids had turned them over with glee into a garbage can, the liquid had splashed out and gotten everywhere. And after scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing, Rodney figured out that it was some sort of staining purple goo. He vaguely recalled Teyla mentioning something like that once, that varrin was used to dye cloth.
Well then. He maybe should have thought of that.
Nothing to be done about it now, though, so Rodney turned to the next phase: actually carving the gourds. He had given the kids markers and told them to draw around the parts they wanted to cut out, and he couldn’t help but think that it might have been a bad idea, because Girl Lorne was just drawing giant circles, and Boy Lorne clearly hadn’t inherited Lorne’s artistic talent, because that was a terrible monster face. Rodney sighed and reached for Girl Lorne’s pumpkin.
“Angel, do you just want giant holes in your pumpkin?”
She looked up at him, marker in fist, and nodded quite seriously. “Lots and lots of holes.”
“Just holes?” Rodney confirmed.
“Lots and lots.” Girl Lorne was quite adamant.
Rodney shrugged. “Fine. Robbie, I’m going to start on your sister’s, and when I’m done I’ll do yours, okay?”
Boy Lorne nodded, sticking his tongue out as he concentrated.
Carving circles, as Rodney soon found, was difficult. Knives didn’t like going in circles. It was made more difficult by the constant chatter of the two small children sitting beside him.
“-and then it ate the other plant,” Boy Lorne said seriously. “It just ate it. I never saw a plant with teeth but that one had a lot of teeth.” He paused to add a circle, the purpose of which Rodney couldn’t discern, to his varrin. “Papa wouldn’t let me go near it.”
“That’s because your father didn’t want to you get eaten by a horrid plant monster,” Rodney pointed out, seeing the logic in it. Boy Lorne pouted, then perked up.
“Aunt Katie let me water her spiky Uncle Rodney plant,” he announced proudly. “I wanted to give it a powerbar, but she said that plants don’t eat powerbars.” He frowned. “I bet that other plant eats powerbars. She shoulda named that one the Uncle Rodney plant.”
“Right,” Rodney said hurriedly. “What are you guys being for Halloween?”
Girl Lorne’s face fell as Rodney reached for Boy Lorne’s pumpkin. He studied the drawing on it, trying to decide what, exactly, he was supposed to do, as Girl Lorne rambled on and on, something about cupcakes and princesses, which Rodney mostly managed to tune out, until he heard a familiar name.
“-Auntie was one,” Girl Lorne said sadly. “She showed me the pictures. She was the prettiest, prettiest princess ever.” She heaved a dramatic sigh. “Daddy says I can be a princess next year ‘cause the Daedalus is already on its way and even Uncle John can’t make it turn around now.”
“I’m sure he would if he could,” Rodney replied with a frown. So the kid wanted to be a princess, and it was Cadman’s fault, huh? He could work with that.
“There,” he said, setting Boy Lorne’s horribly disfigured varrin back on the table. The kid took one look at it and beamed, throwing his sticky purple arms around Rodney.
“It looks just like my drawing,” he said happily. “Thanks, Uncle Rodney!”
“Yes, yes,” Rodney said, secretly pleased. “Let’s get you cleaned up and back home, shall we?”
-0-
David sat up when the door chimes rang, squeezing Evan’s hand. “It’s probably the kids,” he said. “I’ll get it.”
Evan heard the door open, and the excited chatter of his children started up from the hallway. “-holes in it, but they’re like polka dots, and it’s so pretty when the light goes on!” Angel was saying.
“Um,” David said, and Evan sat up on the couch, glancing over at the door, through which he could see McKay, holding two gourd things with bits cut out. The skin on his hands was bright purple, the same tone as the gourds, and as Evan’s gaze travelled down, he saw that Robbie and Angel were the same shade. Everywhere.
“McKay,” Evan said levelly, standing from the couch, “why are my children purple?”
“Daddy!” Robbie bounced into the room, flinging his arms around Evan’s legs. Evan picked him up in a practiced move and continued to walk towards the door. McKay was busily shoving the gourds into David’s hands, glaring at the two of hem.
“Your children informed me that they’d never carved pumpkins before,” he said archly. “What kind of honorary uncle would I be if I fell down on the job, hmm?”
“They’re varrin,” David said, inspecting them. “That’s why you’re all purple.”
“Yes, well, I forgot about their tendency to dye everything in sight when I got them,” McKay said, scowling. “But the kids drew all over them and I cut the pieces out. The light sources are those Ancient nightlights, so they’ll go forever without getting hot.”
Evan studied what had to be the ugliest jack-o-lanterns ever carved, then glanced at the beaming faces of his children. “Thanks, McKay,” he said gruffly. “Kids?”
“Thanks, Uncle Rodney!” they chorused, smiles bright enough to light up even McKay’s face.
“Yeah, you’re welcome,” he muttered. “Enjoy.” And with that, he stalked towards the transporter.
“Dr. McKay!” David called after him, poking his head out the door. McKay stopped near the transporter, turning around. David waved him back over, disappearing into the bathroom as McKay walked closer.
“I have no idea,” Evan told him as McKay waited, eyes narrowed. David came out a moment later with a bit of yellow liquid in a container. He thrust it into McKay’s hands.
“It’ll take the stain out,” he explained. “Don’t get it in your eyes.”
McKay took it, shooting David a grateful glance. “Oh. Um, thanks, Dr. Parrish.”
“Lorne,” David reminded him as he shooed Angel towards the bathroom.
“Yes, right,” McKay said awkwardly, backing down the hallway again. “Good night, then.”
-0-
Rodney hurried to the transporter, getting to his quarters before anyone saw him looking like nothing so much as a giant walking eggplant. He took a quick shower, using the goop that Parrish-Lorne had given him. Rodney tried really, really hard not to think about the man’s name, especially not in the shower. His skin returned to its normal healthy shade, and Rodney breathed out a sigh of relief as he inspected each inch of formerly-purple skin.
He dressed again and stood in his quarters for a moment before tapping on his radio. “Cadman.”
“McKay,” she returned a second later. “What do you want?”
“We need to talk,” he said. “Busy?”
“No,” Cadman replied. “Your lab?”
“Yes,” Rodney replied, already heading to the door. “Bring that picture you showed Angel. The one from Halloween.”
-0-
The Daedalus had arrived a little later than scheduled, meaning that the bits and pieces of costume weren’t ready for pickup until about three hours before Evan had scheduled to take the kids around trick-or-treating. He grabbed the box with his name on it and rushed back to his quarters as quickly as he could.
“Sorry,” he said as he walked in. “They had a problem with the hyperdrive. Small pit stop, everyone’s fine, but they were a little late.”
“That’s fine,” David said, rummaging through the box and pulling out something small and black before disappearing into Robbie’s bedroom. “Don’t come in!” he called as the door slid shut. He could hear Robbie giggling inside the room and smiled himself as he looked around for his daughter.
“Angel, sweetheart, where are you?”
“I don’t wanna be a cupcake, Daddy,” she said mournfully from the couch, where Evan could now see her, curled into a small ball under the pillows.
“I know, baby,” he said. “You can be a princess next year, okay? And the year after that if you want.”
Angel blinked up at him and nodded dully, looking at the costume in the box. It was cute, Evan thought privately, and even if Angel pouted all night long it would continue to be so. Just as he was reaching for the white shift that was the first part of the costume, the chimes rang. Evan let the shift fall to the floor and walked to the door.
“Angel?” It was Cadman, holding a box. McKay was behind her, carrying two bags. They both looked pretty pleased with themselves.
“Auntie,” Angel said from the couch, dejected. “I don’t get to be a princess like you.”
“That, my darling girl, is where you’re mistaken,” Cadman said, strolling in and crouching in front of Angel. She laid the box on the cushion and waited until Angel uncurled from her position. “Open it.”
Angel looked curiously at the box before lifting one corner of it up and off. Evan watched her eyes widen, and she threw the lid off, launching herself at Cadman.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she squealed, laughing. Cadman laughed right back, hugging her tiny frame.
“Let’s see if it fits you,” Cadman said with a smile, pulling a tiny, intricately sewn princess gown from the box.
“It’s actually a really nice dress,” McKay said from his left. He had a weird kind of smile on his face as he watched Cadman with Angel, and Evan decided he maybe didn’t want to know. “Angel let it slip the other day while we were carving pumpkins. Laura and I talked to some of the Athosians, showed them the picture of Laura’s old costume. I think they did a pretty good job with it, myself.”
Evan could only stare as Cadman tugged at strings and fastened buttons on the costume as Angel beamed like a sun. It really was a pretty dress - light blue, with a wide deep purple section in the skirt, embroidered flowers up the sides. There was a laced bodice, and somehow they’d even made the shoulders puffy. Angel twirled around the room, flaring the skirt out for all it was worth, before she fell back into Cadman’s arms, laughing in glee.
“There’s more,” Cadman told her seriously, beckoning to McKay, who brought the bags to her. “Princesses need accessories, right?” She drew item after item from the bags. The first was a tiara, which looked suspiciously like bent wire and glittering stones. There were elbow-length gloves, costume rings for every finger, snap-on earrings that Evan was sure were Dr. Kusanagi’s, and miles and miles of necklaces and bracelets. There was even a pair of tiny frilly slippers for her feet.
McKay drew the last item from the bag seriously and held it just behind his back. “Only really good princesses can have these,” he said. “Are you a really good princess?”
Angel nodded, just as seriously, and McKay pulled a scepter from behind his back. As soon as Angel took it from him, the tip lit up. So did Angel’s face, brilliantly, and Evan could only smile as he watched her.
“Thank you,” she said in awe. “Uncle Rodney, Auntie, thank you.” She hugged both of them fiercely and ran to Evan, twirling in a circle. “Daddy, look, I’m a princess!”
“You sure are,” Evan told her, smiling as she twirled. “Go show your Papa.”
Angel made a beeline for Robbie’s room, the door sliding open just enough for her to fit through before closing behind her. Evan turned to McKay and Cadman.
“Thank you both,” he said fervently. “So much. You just - you made her holiday. Seriously.”
Cadman smiled at him. “Well, it was kind of my fault. And when Rodney told me how upset she looked-” She shrugged. “It wasn’t hard to find volunteers to help, either.”
“The scepter’s perfectly safe,” McKay assured him. “It’s one of those nightlights, like I put in the pumpkins. She can turn it on and off by herself with the gene. It’s wired into the handle. Just let her know she can, and I’m sure she’ll be doing it all night.”
“Thanks,” Evan repeated, not sure how else he could express his gratitude. He heard Angel giggling from behind him again, and turned to see her standing in the door.
“Ready, Daddy?” she singsonged. Evan grinned.
“Sure,” he said. Angel ran out into the room, the train of the dress flowing around her tiny feet. Robbie pelted out of the room after her, stopping in the center and doing his best to glare at all of them.
He was wearing a replica Atlantis uniform, from the miniature patches on his shoulders to the small combat boots that must have been what David had grabbed from the box. Someone had made him a child-sized tac vest and thigh holster, and he pulled a plastic gun from it and waved it around. His hair, usually a light brown like his sister’s, had been stained dark, and spiked up with massive amounts of hair gel.
“Oh my God,” Cadman said, laughter pealing through the room. “He’s Colonel Sheppard!”
He was, Evan realized with a mixture of amusement and horror. Robbie frowned up at him.
“I’m a colonel,” he said, voice high with excitement. “You’re a major. You have to salute.”
Evan bit his lip as Cadman stiffened and executed a picture-perfect salute. “Sir, yes, sir!” she barked, and Robbie’s glare broke as he smiled sunnily at her before turning back to Evan.
“You too, Daddy,” he said. “Papa explained it to me.”
Evan made a mental note to talk to David about rank and children. He touched his hand to his forehead, grinning when Robbie laughed delightedly at him.
“Are we ready to go?” Evan asked amusedly. The kids nodded, David took a picture, and they were off, scampering down the hallways in search of candy.
Evan had a good time watching the kids run from door to door, hearing the expedition members coo over Angel’s princess dress and salute sharply to Robbie’s Colonel Sheppard. David snapped pictures at every turn, smiling happily.
They approached the command staff’s quarters and Evan schooled his face as Robbie slid his hand up to ring at Sheppard’s chimes. The door slid open, revealing Mitchell, who took one look at the group and burst out laughing.
“It’s not funny, Uncle Cam,” Robbie said, pouting. “Angel’s the prettiest princess in ‘Lantis and I’m Colonel Sheppard so you have to salute!”
Evan didn’t bother to correct his son, because Mitchell drew up to his full height and snapped off a smart salute. “John, come here! You have to see this,” he called into the room. Sheppard appeared a minute later, a squirming Lizzie in his arms. Mitchell took the baby from him easily and pointed to the doorway.
Sheppard looked down at Robbie, up at Evan, and down at Robbie again. Robbie, for his part, stared up at him.
“I’m you,” he said unnecessarily after a minute of this. Sheppard’s face cracked into a grin.
“Wow,” he said, looking at Evan. “That’s - interesting.”
“Wasn’t my idea, sir,” Evan said dryly. “At least he’s not making you salute him.”
Sheppard let out a laugh at that, bending down to crouch in front of Robbie. “You been giving your dad a hard time tonight?”
Robbie looked at him seriously. “I’m a colonel and he’s a major. He has to salute. It’s the rules.”
Sheppard ruffled Robbie’s hair, which crackled a little from the dried hair gel. “It sure is,” he agreed. “Who gave you the cool costume idea?”
Robbie suddenly ducked his head, staring at the laces on his little boots. “Torren said he dressed up as Uncle Ronon last year ‘cause Uncle Ronon is his hero,” he said in a little voice. Sheppard sat back on his heels, face turning red. “And you’re a hero too.”
Mitchell rested a hand on Sheppard’s shoulder and squeezed. Evan pretended not to notice the change in topic as he spoke. “And Angel, wow, you sure are the prettiest princess I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen a lot of them,” he added, smiling the wide smile that had had both of Evan’s children wrapped around his finger pretty much the first time they’d met him. He bounced Lizzie in his other arm as Sheppard stood up and reached back for the requisite candy bars. Evan took a look at the infant.
“You know she’s a girl, right?” he asked, one eyebrow raised. Lizzie was dressed in a tiny football uniform, jersey and padded pants and half-helmet. Mitchell shrugged but didn’t elaborate, and Sheppard glared at him.
“Right then,” Evan said, deciding that some things were best left unexplained. “Well, guys, you ready to head home?”
The kids whined and dragged their feet, but by the time they got back to their quarters, out of their costumes, and into pajamas, the twins were too tired to even look through their candy bags. Evan and David tucked them into bed, murmuring their goodnight rituals as the twins dropped off to sleep almost instantly.
David closed the door quietly behind them, and the two men headed to the kitchen, leaving the strewn-about bits of costume where they were for the time being. “I think they had a good time,” David said, taking two mugs from the cabinet and filling them with hot water for tea.
Evan nodded, thinking of all the pictures they’d taken today. Maybe he could talk to Leslie Briggs about putting them in some sort of picture album for David for Christmas. He sat down at the table, suddenly exhausted, and smiled as David set the mugs on the table. He held the nearest bag out to his husband.
“Reese’s?”
Author: somehowunbroken
Fandom: SGA/SG1
Characters: Evan/David, John/Cam
Word Count: 4,512
Rating: PG/utter cuteness.
Notes: Written for slashing_lorne's Halloween celebrationg; part of my kids'verse. Robbie and Angel are three, and boy, do they have their own ideas about what Halloween shoud be. Good thing they have everyone on Atlantis wrapped around their fingers.
ETA: calcitrix drew what is possibly the most adorable thing ever to go with the story... look at it here! It's a bit spoilery, so I'd recommend reading first, unless you can't wait (I won't blame you at all) .:D
Evan had never before had as much respect for his mother as he did right now.
“Angel,” he said again, as patiently as he could, “I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s too close to Halloween for you to change your mind.”
Halloween had been interesting with the kids in previous years, when they were still young enough to be dressed as little pumpkins or matching carrots or tiny Satedan warriors (and the look on Ronon’s face had been priceless, thank you very much). This year, though, this year the twins were three.
And picky.
Angel stamped her foot, light brown hair flying through the air as she shook her head. “Daddy! I want to!”
And Evan was seriously considering murder, if he ever found out who’d taught his kids that saying.
“Look, sweetheart,” he tried again. “The Daedalus already picked up your costume from Earth. It’s on its way. It’s too late to change your mind.”
Angel stopped flailing and looked up at him, wide blue eyes filling with tears, lower lip quivering. Evan felt his heart melt a little, though he knew he was being played, and also that there was literally nothing he could do. “Please, Daddy?”
He sighed, swinging her up to sit on his hip, and headed for the other room, where David would be arriving with Robbie any minute. “Why don’t you want to be a cupcake any more?”
Angel sniffed, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck. “Auntie told me she was a princess when she was little,” she said morosely. “She showed me a picture. She was so pretty.”
Evan added Laura Cadman to the List Of People To Kill as he stroked his daughter’s hair. “You’ll be a pretty cupcake, sweetheart. And you can be an even prettier princess than Auntie. Next year.”
Angel’s lower lip started to tremble, but just then the door slid open and David walked in, Robbie ambling along behind him. “Papa!”
Angel leaned for David, arms outstretched, and he plucked her out of Evan’s arms, planting a huge raspberry kiss on her neck. She giggled and fisted her hands in his shirt as Evan tossed Robbie into the air.
The family chatted their way through dinner, Robbie talking about his visit to the greenhouses with Papa, how he’d watched one plant eat another plant, and how Aunt Katie had let him water her spiky Uncle Rodney plant. Angel recounted her tale of woe, complete with fat crocodile tears, but David backed Evan up in telling her that she was stuck being a cupcake, at least this year.
“So, are you going to tell me what you picked, Robbie?” Evan asked. Robbie beamed a huge smile at him, shaking his head and laughing, before sharing a conspiratorial wink with David. Robbie had chosen his costume ages ago, but for whatever reason had decided not to tell Evan, who was making a big production out of not knowing just to amuse his son. He heaved a sigh and pouted glumly.
“I have to wait until Halloween to see it?” he said, and Robbie giggled, nodding.
“It’s a good costume, too,” David said seriously from the end of the table, eyes sparkling. “We’ve got it almost all ready. We’re just waiting for one more piece, but it should be here on the Daedalus.”
Even Angel was grinning now, and Evan didn’t understand how his children, normally such talkative kids, could keep a secret for this long. “Robbie’s got a great costume,” she singsonged. “You’re going to love it.”
Evan looked around and had to smile. His entire family was giggling at him, and for a guy who was pretty sure he’d never have anything even remotely like this… it felt pretty nice.
“Okay, you two,” Evan said, getting up from the table. “Uncle Rodney’s going to watch you tonight while Papa and I go out. Be nice to him, okay?” Evan leveled a mild glare at the twins, who nodded, eyes wide and innocent. McKay rarely babysat for them, but everyone else they’d asked had been busy, and tonight was their standing date night. It wasn’t anything big, usually just a movie, but raising two kids meant that they rarely had any time to themselves. Date night was almost never cancelled, and even Rodney McKay could understand the need for some time away from the kids.
“We promise,” they chorused, and Evan didn’t believe them, not at all. He sighed as the door chimed - impatiently, if that was even possible - and slid open to reveal McKay, standing awkwardly outside.
“Hey,” Evan greeted, grabbing the bag he’d already packed for the twins. It held videos, books, some toys, everything that he could possibly think of to keep his kids entertained and hopefully distracted enough to not bother McKay too much. “Everything should be in there.”
“No, no.” McKay said, smiling almost manically. “We won’t be needing that.”
Evan frowned at him. “What, you’re going to entertain them yourself?”
McKay nodded emphatically, and Angel peeked around the corner, shrieking when she saw him.
“Uncle Rodney!” she yelled, running full-force into his legs and squeezing for dear life. Robbie bounded out a second later, doing the same.
“Yes, hello,” McKay said, trying not to wriggle too much. “Well, we should be going. Leave your parents to their movie. Right?”
The twins nodded, stepped back, and each took a hand, and Evan poked his head out to watch as they led McKay down the hall to the transporter, chattering at a million miles an hour. McKay was nodding to them, talking back just as quickly, and Evan watched after them until the transporter shimmered and opened again, empty.
“Weird,” he muttered as David came in from the kitchen.
“What is?” David asked, shoving a few toys from the floor into a basket against the wall.
“McKay,” Evan said, walking to sit on the couch. “He looked almost excited to take the kids. Refused the toy bag.”
David frowned. “They let him leave the toy bag here?”
“I know,” Evan said, pulling David down next to him. “Like I said, weird.”
-0-
“They don’t look like pumpkins,” Boy Lorne told him seriously. Girl Lorne nodded resolutely, crossing her tiny arms, and Rodney was reminded of why he hadn’t spent much time with Madison at that age. Well, and he’d been stuck in another galaxy.
“Look,” he said, trying not to snap and mostly succeeding. “You asked me two days ago. This is the best I could do.”
The children surveyed the gourds on the table with a too-critical eye, and Rodney mentally cursed the fact that Lorne was an artist, because he could practically feel them comparing colors and hues and whatever else it was that artists did, and finding his pumpkins lacking.
Well, varrin, technically. They weren’t pumpkins. They were the right shape, though, and the right size, even if they were purple with green flecks. They were certainly the closest he’d been able to track down since these two had cornered him in the lab two days before.
“Please, Uncle Rodney,” Girl Lorne had begged. “Daddy says you’re watching us on Date Night this week, and we really, really want to carve pumpkins.”
“We asked Uncle Ronon,” Boy Lorne had added. “But he says that they’re for eating, not for carving.” He turned huge puppy-dog eyes up at Rodney. “But you’re from Earth! You understand!”
Rodney did, indeed, understand the importance of carving pumpkins. He could still clearly recall the Halloween when he was seven, when he’d… well. Yes. He understood.
“I’ll see what I can do,” he had said, sighing dramatically and yet still prepared for the tiny squeals of joy and too-tight hugs around his legs. “No promises, though,” he’d cautioned. The twins had nodded, grinning from ear-to-ear.
And all he’d been able to track down were varrin. Rodney suddenly felt like a horrible, horrible uncle, because what kind of uncle couldn’t even find orange pumpkins, for crying out loud? What kind of kid wanted to carve weird looking gourd things, anyway? Rodney was wondering why, exactly, he’d turned down Lorne’s offer of toys when the children nodded as one.
“They’re pretty,” Girl Lorne said.
“We can make a monster face in mine,” Boy Lorne added.
Rodney let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. “Okay, let’s not be too hasty,” he said, reaching for a knife and slicing into the top of the first varrin. “We have to scoop them out first.”
-0-
“So what are we watching tonight?” David asked, settling into Evan’s side comfortably. Evan clicked around on the laptop, opening this file and that, until he found what he was looking for. David started to laugh as it popped up on the screen.
“What?” Evan asked defensively.
“Nothing,” David said, grinning as he pecked Evan on the cheek. “You’re ridiculous.”
“It’s a classic,” Evan said stubbornly.
“We should have let the kids stay,” David kidded, still grinning. “They’d love it.”
Evan glared at the laptop, where the title screen of It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown was playing. “It’s almost Halloween, and you don’t like horror movies,” he grumbled. “I was just being creative.”
David leaned fully into his side, still smiling. “Thanks for making the effort.”
-0-
Rodney wondered what Lorne was going to do to him when he returned the man’s children stained purple. Varrin, as it turned out, had a soupy sort of goop inside, and when the kids had turned them over with glee into a garbage can, the liquid had splashed out and gotten everywhere. And after scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing, Rodney figured out that it was some sort of staining purple goo. He vaguely recalled Teyla mentioning something like that once, that varrin was used to dye cloth.
Well then. He maybe should have thought of that.
Nothing to be done about it now, though, so Rodney turned to the next phase: actually carving the gourds. He had given the kids markers and told them to draw around the parts they wanted to cut out, and he couldn’t help but think that it might have been a bad idea, because Girl Lorne was just drawing giant circles, and Boy Lorne clearly hadn’t inherited Lorne’s artistic talent, because that was a terrible monster face. Rodney sighed and reached for Girl Lorne’s pumpkin.
“Angel, do you just want giant holes in your pumpkin?”
She looked up at him, marker in fist, and nodded quite seriously. “Lots and lots of holes.”
“Just holes?” Rodney confirmed.
“Lots and lots.” Girl Lorne was quite adamant.
Rodney shrugged. “Fine. Robbie, I’m going to start on your sister’s, and when I’m done I’ll do yours, okay?”
Boy Lorne nodded, sticking his tongue out as he concentrated.
Carving circles, as Rodney soon found, was difficult. Knives didn’t like going in circles. It was made more difficult by the constant chatter of the two small children sitting beside him.
“-and then it ate the other plant,” Boy Lorne said seriously. “It just ate it. I never saw a plant with teeth but that one had a lot of teeth.” He paused to add a circle, the purpose of which Rodney couldn’t discern, to his varrin. “Papa wouldn’t let me go near it.”
“That’s because your father didn’t want to you get eaten by a horrid plant monster,” Rodney pointed out, seeing the logic in it. Boy Lorne pouted, then perked up.
“Aunt Katie let me water her spiky Uncle Rodney plant,” he announced proudly. “I wanted to give it a powerbar, but she said that plants don’t eat powerbars.” He frowned. “I bet that other plant eats powerbars. She shoulda named that one the Uncle Rodney plant.”
“Right,” Rodney said hurriedly. “What are you guys being for Halloween?”
Girl Lorne’s face fell as Rodney reached for Boy Lorne’s pumpkin. He studied the drawing on it, trying to decide what, exactly, he was supposed to do, as Girl Lorne rambled on and on, something about cupcakes and princesses, which Rodney mostly managed to tune out, until he heard a familiar name.
“-Auntie was one,” Girl Lorne said sadly. “She showed me the pictures. She was the prettiest, prettiest princess ever.” She heaved a dramatic sigh. “Daddy says I can be a princess next year ‘cause the Daedalus is already on its way and even Uncle John can’t make it turn around now.”
“I’m sure he would if he could,” Rodney replied with a frown. So the kid wanted to be a princess, and it was Cadman’s fault, huh? He could work with that.
“There,” he said, setting Boy Lorne’s horribly disfigured varrin back on the table. The kid took one look at it and beamed, throwing his sticky purple arms around Rodney.
“It looks just like my drawing,” he said happily. “Thanks, Uncle Rodney!”
“Yes, yes,” Rodney said, secretly pleased. “Let’s get you cleaned up and back home, shall we?”
-0-
David sat up when the door chimes rang, squeezing Evan’s hand. “It’s probably the kids,” he said. “I’ll get it.”
Evan heard the door open, and the excited chatter of his children started up from the hallway. “-holes in it, but they’re like polka dots, and it’s so pretty when the light goes on!” Angel was saying.
“Um,” David said, and Evan sat up on the couch, glancing over at the door, through which he could see McKay, holding two gourd things with bits cut out. The skin on his hands was bright purple, the same tone as the gourds, and as Evan’s gaze travelled down, he saw that Robbie and Angel were the same shade. Everywhere.
“McKay,” Evan said levelly, standing from the couch, “why are my children purple?”
“Daddy!” Robbie bounced into the room, flinging his arms around Evan’s legs. Evan picked him up in a practiced move and continued to walk towards the door. McKay was busily shoving the gourds into David’s hands, glaring at the two of hem.
“Your children informed me that they’d never carved pumpkins before,” he said archly. “What kind of honorary uncle would I be if I fell down on the job, hmm?”
“They’re varrin,” David said, inspecting them. “That’s why you’re all purple.”
“Yes, well, I forgot about their tendency to dye everything in sight when I got them,” McKay said, scowling. “But the kids drew all over them and I cut the pieces out. The light sources are those Ancient nightlights, so they’ll go forever without getting hot.”
Evan studied what had to be the ugliest jack-o-lanterns ever carved, then glanced at the beaming faces of his children. “Thanks, McKay,” he said gruffly. “Kids?”
“Thanks, Uncle Rodney!” they chorused, smiles bright enough to light up even McKay’s face.
“Yeah, you’re welcome,” he muttered. “Enjoy.” And with that, he stalked towards the transporter.
“Dr. McKay!” David called after him, poking his head out the door. McKay stopped near the transporter, turning around. David waved him back over, disappearing into the bathroom as McKay walked closer.
“I have no idea,” Evan told him as McKay waited, eyes narrowed. David came out a moment later with a bit of yellow liquid in a container. He thrust it into McKay’s hands.
“It’ll take the stain out,” he explained. “Don’t get it in your eyes.”
McKay took it, shooting David a grateful glance. “Oh. Um, thanks, Dr. Parrish.”
“Lorne,” David reminded him as he shooed Angel towards the bathroom.
“Yes, right,” McKay said awkwardly, backing down the hallway again. “Good night, then.”
-0-
Rodney hurried to the transporter, getting to his quarters before anyone saw him looking like nothing so much as a giant walking eggplant. He took a quick shower, using the goop that Parrish-Lorne had given him. Rodney tried really, really hard not to think about the man’s name, especially not in the shower. His skin returned to its normal healthy shade, and Rodney breathed out a sigh of relief as he inspected each inch of formerly-purple skin.
He dressed again and stood in his quarters for a moment before tapping on his radio. “Cadman.”
“McKay,” she returned a second later. “What do you want?”
“We need to talk,” he said. “Busy?”
“No,” Cadman replied. “Your lab?”
“Yes,” Rodney replied, already heading to the door. “Bring that picture you showed Angel. The one from Halloween.”
-0-
The Daedalus had arrived a little later than scheduled, meaning that the bits and pieces of costume weren’t ready for pickup until about three hours before Evan had scheduled to take the kids around trick-or-treating. He grabbed the box with his name on it and rushed back to his quarters as quickly as he could.
“Sorry,” he said as he walked in. “They had a problem with the hyperdrive. Small pit stop, everyone’s fine, but they were a little late.”
“That’s fine,” David said, rummaging through the box and pulling out something small and black before disappearing into Robbie’s bedroom. “Don’t come in!” he called as the door slid shut. He could hear Robbie giggling inside the room and smiled himself as he looked around for his daughter.
“Angel, sweetheart, where are you?”
“I don’t wanna be a cupcake, Daddy,” she said mournfully from the couch, where Evan could now see her, curled into a small ball under the pillows.
“I know, baby,” he said. “You can be a princess next year, okay? And the year after that if you want.”
Angel blinked up at him and nodded dully, looking at the costume in the box. It was cute, Evan thought privately, and even if Angel pouted all night long it would continue to be so. Just as he was reaching for the white shift that was the first part of the costume, the chimes rang. Evan let the shift fall to the floor and walked to the door.
“Angel?” It was Cadman, holding a box. McKay was behind her, carrying two bags. They both looked pretty pleased with themselves.
“Auntie,” Angel said from the couch, dejected. “I don’t get to be a princess like you.”
“That, my darling girl, is where you’re mistaken,” Cadman said, strolling in and crouching in front of Angel. She laid the box on the cushion and waited until Angel uncurled from her position. “Open it.”
Angel looked curiously at the box before lifting one corner of it up and off. Evan watched her eyes widen, and she threw the lid off, launching herself at Cadman.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she squealed, laughing. Cadman laughed right back, hugging her tiny frame.
“Let’s see if it fits you,” Cadman said with a smile, pulling a tiny, intricately sewn princess gown from the box.
“It’s actually a really nice dress,” McKay said from his left. He had a weird kind of smile on his face as he watched Cadman with Angel, and Evan decided he maybe didn’t want to know. “Angel let it slip the other day while we were carving pumpkins. Laura and I talked to some of the Athosians, showed them the picture of Laura’s old costume. I think they did a pretty good job with it, myself.”
Evan could only stare as Cadman tugged at strings and fastened buttons on the costume as Angel beamed like a sun. It really was a pretty dress - light blue, with a wide deep purple section in the skirt, embroidered flowers up the sides. There was a laced bodice, and somehow they’d even made the shoulders puffy. Angel twirled around the room, flaring the skirt out for all it was worth, before she fell back into Cadman’s arms, laughing in glee.
“There’s more,” Cadman told her seriously, beckoning to McKay, who brought the bags to her. “Princesses need accessories, right?” She drew item after item from the bags. The first was a tiara, which looked suspiciously like bent wire and glittering stones. There were elbow-length gloves, costume rings for every finger, snap-on earrings that Evan was sure were Dr. Kusanagi’s, and miles and miles of necklaces and bracelets. There was even a pair of tiny frilly slippers for her feet.
McKay drew the last item from the bag seriously and held it just behind his back. “Only really good princesses can have these,” he said. “Are you a really good princess?”
Angel nodded, just as seriously, and McKay pulled a scepter from behind his back. As soon as Angel took it from him, the tip lit up. So did Angel’s face, brilliantly, and Evan could only smile as he watched her.
“Thank you,” she said in awe. “Uncle Rodney, Auntie, thank you.” She hugged both of them fiercely and ran to Evan, twirling in a circle. “Daddy, look, I’m a princess!”
“You sure are,” Evan told her, smiling as she twirled. “Go show your Papa.”
Angel made a beeline for Robbie’s room, the door sliding open just enough for her to fit through before closing behind her. Evan turned to McKay and Cadman.
“Thank you both,” he said fervently. “So much. You just - you made her holiday. Seriously.”
Cadman smiled at him. “Well, it was kind of my fault. And when Rodney told me how upset she looked-” She shrugged. “It wasn’t hard to find volunteers to help, either.”
“The scepter’s perfectly safe,” McKay assured him. “It’s one of those nightlights, like I put in the pumpkins. She can turn it on and off by herself with the gene. It’s wired into the handle. Just let her know she can, and I’m sure she’ll be doing it all night.”
“Thanks,” Evan repeated, not sure how else he could express his gratitude. He heard Angel giggling from behind him again, and turned to see her standing in the door.
“Ready, Daddy?” she singsonged. Evan grinned.
“Sure,” he said. Angel ran out into the room, the train of the dress flowing around her tiny feet. Robbie pelted out of the room after her, stopping in the center and doing his best to glare at all of them.
He was wearing a replica Atlantis uniform, from the miniature patches on his shoulders to the small combat boots that must have been what David had grabbed from the box. Someone had made him a child-sized tac vest and thigh holster, and he pulled a plastic gun from it and waved it around. His hair, usually a light brown like his sister’s, had been stained dark, and spiked up with massive amounts of hair gel.
“Oh my God,” Cadman said, laughter pealing through the room. “He’s Colonel Sheppard!”
He was, Evan realized with a mixture of amusement and horror. Robbie frowned up at him.
“I’m a colonel,” he said, voice high with excitement. “You’re a major. You have to salute.”
Evan bit his lip as Cadman stiffened and executed a picture-perfect salute. “Sir, yes, sir!” she barked, and Robbie’s glare broke as he smiled sunnily at her before turning back to Evan.
“You too, Daddy,” he said. “Papa explained it to me.”
Evan made a mental note to talk to David about rank and children. He touched his hand to his forehead, grinning when Robbie laughed delightedly at him.
“Are we ready to go?” Evan asked amusedly. The kids nodded, David took a picture, and they were off, scampering down the hallways in search of candy.
Evan had a good time watching the kids run from door to door, hearing the expedition members coo over Angel’s princess dress and salute sharply to Robbie’s Colonel Sheppard. David snapped pictures at every turn, smiling happily.
They approached the command staff’s quarters and Evan schooled his face as Robbie slid his hand up to ring at Sheppard’s chimes. The door slid open, revealing Mitchell, who took one look at the group and burst out laughing.
“It’s not funny, Uncle Cam,” Robbie said, pouting. “Angel’s the prettiest princess in ‘Lantis and I’m Colonel Sheppard so you have to salute!”
Evan didn’t bother to correct his son, because Mitchell drew up to his full height and snapped off a smart salute. “John, come here! You have to see this,” he called into the room. Sheppard appeared a minute later, a squirming Lizzie in his arms. Mitchell took the baby from him easily and pointed to the doorway.
Sheppard looked down at Robbie, up at Evan, and down at Robbie again. Robbie, for his part, stared up at him.
“I’m you,” he said unnecessarily after a minute of this. Sheppard’s face cracked into a grin.
“Wow,” he said, looking at Evan. “That’s - interesting.”
“Wasn’t my idea, sir,” Evan said dryly. “At least he’s not making you salute him.”
Sheppard let out a laugh at that, bending down to crouch in front of Robbie. “You been giving your dad a hard time tonight?”
Robbie looked at him seriously. “I’m a colonel and he’s a major. He has to salute. It’s the rules.”
Sheppard ruffled Robbie’s hair, which crackled a little from the dried hair gel. “It sure is,” he agreed. “Who gave you the cool costume idea?”
Robbie suddenly ducked his head, staring at the laces on his little boots. “Torren said he dressed up as Uncle Ronon last year ‘cause Uncle Ronon is his hero,” he said in a little voice. Sheppard sat back on his heels, face turning red. “And you’re a hero too.”
Mitchell rested a hand on Sheppard’s shoulder and squeezed. Evan pretended not to notice the change in topic as he spoke. “And Angel, wow, you sure are the prettiest princess I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen a lot of them,” he added, smiling the wide smile that had had both of Evan’s children wrapped around his finger pretty much the first time they’d met him. He bounced Lizzie in his other arm as Sheppard stood up and reached back for the requisite candy bars. Evan took a look at the infant.
“You know she’s a girl, right?” he asked, one eyebrow raised. Lizzie was dressed in a tiny football uniform, jersey and padded pants and half-helmet. Mitchell shrugged but didn’t elaborate, and Sheppard glared at him.
“Right then,” Evan said, deciding that some things were best left unexplained. “Well, guys, you ready to head home?”
The kids whined and dragged their feet, but by the time they got back to their quarters, out of their costumes, and into pajamas, the twins were too tired to even look through their candy bags. Evan and David tucked them into bed, murmuring their goodnight rituals as the twins dropped off to sleep almost instantly.
David closed the door quietly behind them, and the two men headed to the kitchen, leaving the strewn-about bits of costume where they were for the time being. “I think they had a good time,” David said, taking two mugs from the cabinet and filling them with hot water for tea.
Evan nodded, thinking of all the pictures they’d taken today. Maybe he could talk to Leslie Briggs about putting them in some sort of picture album for David for Christmas. He sat down at the table, suddenly exhausted, and smiled as David set the mugs on the table. He held the nearest bag out to his husband.
“Reese’s?”