Hypothetical (1/1)
Title: Hypothetical
Author: somehowunbroken
Fandom: SGA
Characters: John, Evan
Word count: 1,061
Rating/warnings: G/silliness and incarceration
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate: Atlantis.
Prompt: Lorne - choosing a team (if we get stuck somewhere for the rest of our natural born days, who will I not strangle immediately)?.
Summary: In which we find out that John likes his team and Evan wishes he knew Superman.
“So who’s your dream team?”
John turned to his cellmate and blinked. “What?”
Evan gave him a glance and repeated himself. “Who’s your dream team?”
The two men had been leading their teams on a routine meet-and-greet, which in the Pegasus galaxy included things like angry natives and getting separated from each other. John and Evan were both reasonably sure that the rest of their collective teams had gotten through the Gate; they had acted as distractions to let the others get back. Hopefully, a rescue was being organized and they’d be out of here soon.
“Um,” john replied.
Evan rolled his eyes. “If you could choose anyone for your team, who would it be?”
“Is this how you spend your spare time?”
“Yes.” Evan gave him a look. “Don’t tell me you don’t, sir. I’ll be forced to call you on it.”
“I’d take them team I already have, thanks,” John replied evasively.
“Fine, don’t play,” Evan said, amused. “I’d take Einstein for my scientist.”
John sat up. “Oh, anyone anyone? I thought we meant people on Atlantis.”
Evan waved his hand dismissively. “Why limit yourself? It’s hypothetical.”
“Good point.” John squinted up at the ceiling of their hut-prison. “Scientist, huh? To be honest, I’d probably still take McKay. He’s actually as smart as he thinks he is, not that I think he should ever hear anyone say that.”
“Don’t worry,” Evan said immediately. “No way in hell I’d ever tell him that.”
“Good,” John said decisively. “Nobody would ever hear the end of it.”
“Okay, moving on,” Evan said. “Second in command. Someone responsible, someone who can kick ass and take names, someone who will drag your sorry ass back to the Gate when you get knocked unconscious.” He slid a sideways glance at John. “Hypothetically, of course. Sir.”
John just glared at him. “Funny. I’m hysterical over here, Lorne.”
“I’d take Superman,” Evan decided, lying on his back and staring upwards. “The man’s invincible, he can fly, and so far, we haven’t run across kryptonite in Pegasus.”
“I’d stick with Teyla,” John said firmly. “She’s pretty much invincible, I’ve seen her stop bullets by talking people out of shooting at us, and she might not be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even have a kryptonite.”
“I think you’re missing the point of the exercise, sir.”
“If I can have anyone, I’m taking Teyla,” John insisted. “Since we’re talking about dragging my sorry ass back to the Gate, Major, I’m gonna go with someone who’s done it before. Superman has no experience in this galaxy.”
“Fine.” Evan stared straight up, hands behind his head. As far as incarcerations went, this wasn’t actually so bad. There was straw spread on the floor, and it appeared to be clean, the planet was warm but not too hot, and they’d been given food and water. As a bonus, he had entertainment, as uncooperative as said entertainment might be behaving at the moment.
“Third person, then,” he continued. “The backup, the one you can count on to agree with your plans and sometimes come up with even crazier ones, the person who will make sure everyone’s on board with what needs to be done no matter what.”
They both looked thoughtful for a few minutes.
“I’d take Sergeant Mehra, I think,” Evan said finally. “She’s just this side of insane and she’s pretty good at motivating everyone else on her team to do what needs to be done.”
“Dusty?” John sounded surprised. “She’s just one side of insane, anyway. Hell, it’s your hypothetical team; if you want to get them dragged to hell by their earlobes, go for it.”
“Mehra’s not that bad,” Evan said mildly. “She’s loyal and smart.”
“You make her sound like a golden retriever,” John responded. “Don’t let her hear you describe her like that. For your own good.”
Evan lifted a shoulder. “She likes me. I’d be fine.”
“Your funeral,” John muttered.
“Who would you take?”
John was silent for a moment. “Ronon.”
Evan let out an annoyed sigh. “Sheppard…”
“He goes along with pretty much all of my ideas,” John insisted. “He’s been known to come up with some good ones, too.”
“They all involve C4,” Evan muttered.
“You love C4,” John countered. “And, hey, he’s good at handling McKay. That’s like a superpower all by itself.”
“I’ll give you that one,” Evan said grudgingly. He opened his mouth again, but stilled as they heard muffled shouting from outside. John grinned.
“Let’s see whose super team came through for us,” he challenged, poking his head out of the hut. “Superman?” he called loudly. “Einstein? You guys out there?”
“He’s gone insane,” Evan heard McKay’s voice ring out. “We should have come right back for them. I told you.”
Another voice answered. “Rodney,” Teyla said soothingly, “we had to wait for the other team to suit up.”
“Can it, McKay,” Ronon’s voice sounded next. “He’s fine. You’re fine, right?”
“We’re fine,” John said cheerily, pulling his head back into the hut. “Hey, Lorne, you were one for three.”
Evan sat up. “Huh?”
“Major Lorne!” Sergeant Mehra’s voice rang out. “Why didn’t you just blast your way out of here? I know damn well you keep C4 with you in unmentionable places.”
Evan dropped his head back and closed his eyes. “We agreed not to talk about that, Sergeant.”
“Speak for yourself,” she said, entering the hut and surveying its two occupants. “If it’s all the same to you, sirs, let’s get the hell home.”
“Amen,” John agreed, and as Evan walked past him out of the hut, he said, “Unmentionable places?”
“Sir, with all due respect?” Evan waited until John nodded. “Don’t ever bring that up again.”
“She did.” John pointed at Sergeant Mehra.
“I like her more,” Evan replied evenly. “Also, she’s scarier. Also also, she was present for the incident in question.”
“Okay,” John said, walking ahead. “I’ll just ask her, then.”
Evan ran to catch up. “Mehra! Dusty! Don’t tell him!”
The laughter rang all the way to the Gate.
ETA: now with a description of 'that incident'!
Author: somehowunbroken
Fandom: SGA
Characters: John, Evan
Word count: 1,061
Rating/warnings: G/silliness and incarceration
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate: Atlantis.
Prompt: Lorne - choosing a team (if we get stuck somewhere for the rest of our natural born days, who will I not strangle immediately)?.
Summary: In which we find out that John likes his team and Evan wishes he knew Superman.
“So who’s your dream team?”
John turned to his cellmate and blinked. “What?”
Evan gave him a glance and repeated himself. “Who’s your dream team?”
The two men had been leading their teams on a routine meet-and-greet, which in the Pegasus galaxy included things like angry natives and getting separated from each other. John and Evan were both reasonably sure that the rest of their collective teams had gotten through the Gate; they had acted as distractions to let the others get back. Hopefully, a rescue was being organized and they’d be out of here soon.
“Um,” john replied.
Evan rolled his eyes. “If you could choose anyone for your team, who would it be?”
“Is this how you spend your spare time?”
“Yes.” Evan gave him a look. “Don’t tell me you don’t, sir. I’ll be forced to call you on it.”
“I’d take them team I already have, thanks,” John replied evasively.
“Fine, don’t play,” Evan said, amused. “I’d take Einstein for my scientist.”
John sat up. “Oh, anyone anyone? I thought we meant people on Atlantis.”
Evan waved his hand dismissively. “Why limit yourself? It’s hypothetical.”
“Good point.” John squinted up at the ceiling of their hut-prison. “Scientist, huh? To be honest, I’d probably still take McKay. He’s actually as smart as he thinks he is, not that I think he should ever hear anyone say that.”
“Don’t worry,” Evan said immediately. “No way in hell I’d ever tell him that.”
“Good,” John said decisively. “Nobody would ever hear the end of it.”
“Okay, moving on,” Evan said. “Second in command. Someone responsible, someone who can kick ass and take names, someone who will drag your sorry ass back to the Gate when you get knocked unconscious.” He slid a sideways glance at John. “Hypothetically, of course. Sir.”
John just glared at him. “Funny. I’m hysterical over here, Lorne.”
“I’d take Superman,” Evan decided, lying on his back and staring upwards. “The man’s invincible, he can fly, and so far, we haven’t run across kryptonite in Pegasus.”
“I’d stick with Teyla,” John said firmly. “She’s pretty much invincible, I’ve seen her stop bullets by talking people out of shooting at us, and she might not be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even have a kryptonite.”
“I think you’re missing the point of the exercise, sir.”
“If I can have anyone, I’m taking Teyla,” John insisted. “Since we’re talking about dragging my sorry ass back to the Gate, Major, I’m gonna go with someone who’s done it before. Superman has no experience in this galaxy.”
“Fine.” Evan stared straight up, hands behind his head. As far as incarcerations went, this wasn’t actually so bad. There was straw spread on the floor, and it appeared to be clean, the planet was warm but not too hot, and they’d been given food and water. As a bonus, he had entertainment, as uncooperative as said entertainment might be behaving at the moment.
“Third person, then,” he continued. “The backup, the one you can count on to agree with your plans and sometimes come up with even crazier ones, the person who will make sure everyone’s on board with what needs to be done no matter what.”
They both looked thoughtful for a few minutes.
“I’d take Sergeant Mehra, I think,” Evan said finally. “She’s just this side of insane and she’s pretty good at motivating everyone else on her team to do what needs to be done.”
“Dusty?” John sounded surprised. “She’s just one side of insane, anyway. Hell, it’s your hypothetical team; if you want to get them dragged to hell by their earlobes, go for it.”
“Mehra’s not that bad,” Evan said mildly. “She’s loyal and smart.”
“You make her sound like a golden retriever,” John responded. “Don’t let her hear you describe her like that. For your own good.”
Evan lifted a shoulder. “She likes me. I’d be fine.”
“Your funeral,” John muttered.
“Who would you take?”
John was silent for a moment. “Ronon.”
Evan let out an annoyed sigh. “Sheppard…”
“He goes along with pretty much all of my ideas,” John insisted. “He’s been known to come up with some good ones, too.”
“They all involve C4,” Evan muttered.
“You love C4,” John countered. “And, hey, he’s good at handling McKay. That’s like a superpower all by itself.”
“I’ll give you that one,” Evan said grudgingly. He opened his mouth again, but stilled as they heard muffled shouting from outside. John grinned.
“Let’s see whose super team came through for us,” he challenged, poking his head out of the hut. “Superman?” he called loudly. “Einstein? You guys out there?”
“He’s gone insane,” Evan heard McKay’s voice ring out. “We should have come right back for them. I told you.”
Another voice answered. “Rodney,” Teyla said soothingly, “we had to wait for the other team to suit up.”
“Can it, McKay,” Ronon’s voice sounded next. “He’s fine. You’re fine, right?”
“We’re fine,” John said cheerily, pulling his head back into the hut. “Hey, Lorne, you were one for three.”
Evan sat up. “Huh?”
“Major Lorne!” Sergeant Mehra’s voice rang out. “Why didn’t you just blast your way out of here? I know damn well you keep C4 with you in unmentionable places.”
Evan dropped his head back and closed his eyes. “We agreed not to talk about that, Sergeant.”
“Speak for yourself,” she said, entering the hut and surveying its two occupants. “If it’s all the same to you, sirs, let’s get the hell home.”
“Amen,” John agreed, and as Evan walked past him out of the hut, he said, “Unmentionable places?”
“Sir, with all due respect?” Evan waited until John nodded. “Don’t ever bring that up again.”
“She did.” John pointed at Sergeant Mehra.
“I like her more,” Evan replied evenly. “Also, she’s scarier. Also also, she was present for the incident in question.”
“Okay,” John said, walking ahead. “I’ll just ask her, then.”
Evan ran to catch up. “Mehra! Dusty! Don’t tell him!”
The laughter rang all the way to the Gate.
ETA: now with a description of 'that incident'!