Seven Years (1/1)
Title:Seven Years
Author: somehowunbroken
Fandom: SGA/SG1
Pairing: Evan/Cam
Word count: 2,705
Rating/warnings: NC-17/sex.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate: Atlantis.
Summary: Porn, as promised! Lorne Fest: Lorne/Cam - "Okay, so maybe we didn't have the best breakup."
Evan knew, of course, that the Daedalus was due in today. He had placed all of the requisition requests weeks ago, and had been anticipating the arrival of said supplies for four days - Sergeant Bradford in the mess said they were running really low on those pudding cups that Evan used to bribe McKay to stay the hell away from Sheppard when the other man was in a bad mood. Therefore, yes, he knew that the Daedalus would be arriving today.
He did not remember, however, that along with the supplies he’d asked for, the Daedalus would be delivering one Colonel Cameron Mitchell.
“Oh,” Evan said as he walked around the boxes, checking them against the list of what they’d ordered - damn it, looked like they’d been slighted three boxes of pudding cups, and wasn’t that going to be hell - when he walked straight into the other man. “Um. Hi.”
Cam gave him a noncommittal jerk of the head and stepped back quickly. “Sheppard around?” he asked, tone far too businesslike, too dismissive to be Cam. Evan was hurt for a moment before he remembered that, okay, yeah, Cam had every right to be pissed at him.
“Should be upstairs,” Evan said, gesturing towards the Jumper bay. “His Jumper has a cold.”
Cam was already halfway to the staircase, but paused as Evan spoke. “His plane has a cold,” he repeated.
“Jumper,” Evan corrected absently, trying very hard not to think about how well the Atlantis BDUs fit Cam, about how Cam was going to be stationed here now as the leader of the new F-302 squadron, about how fucking awkward this was going to be if he didn’t at least try to fix it soon. “They’re finicky,” he finally said after what was probably too long a pause. “He’s up there with Zelenka.”
Cam didn’t say another word, just turned on his heel and walked stiffly up the stairs, through the control room, and up to the Jumper bay.
Evan sighed and smacked his head on the nearest crate. Oh, yes, Cam was still pissed. This was going to be hell.
--
Evan was in his quarters later that night, trying to work out what to say to Cam, when the door chimes rang. Before Evan could even turn fully towards the entrance, the door opened, and Cam walked in.
Well, then. Apparently Evan wasn’t going to get any more time to think this through.
“Hi,” Evan said after a minute. Cam had been standing just inside the door, staring at him with a look Evan couldn’t identify in his eyes. Evan shut the door with a thought and locked it, just to be safe; this was one conversation that he really didn’t want McKay interrupting. It would have been worth two pudding cups if he’d known Cam was going to drop by.
“Hi yourself,” Cam said back, and this was the Cam he knew, the Cam he remembered, the Cam he-
No. Not going there.
Evan smiled and dropped to his bed, waving his hand at the only chair in the room, which Cam dragged over and sat in. Evan’s smile became strained and he lost it altogether as Cam sat in the chair, leaning forward, studying him intently.
“Cam,” he said, and Cam’s attention snapped from where it was wandering around his torso back up to his face. “I’m - fuck. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry,” Cam said, in that same friendly tone, but Evan could hear the undercurrents right below the surface - anger, sadness, betrayal. “You run out in the middle of the night and then spend the next seven years avoiding me, and you’re sorry.”
Evan winced. It sounded bad out loud, worse in that easygoing voice. "Okay, so maybe we didn't have the best breakup."
“Evan,” Cam said, leaning back in the chair and propping his feet on Evan’s bed, “we didn’t have a breakup. Remember?”
Okay. Cam was gong to make this difficult. Evan figured he probably deserved that.
“I left you a letter,” he protested, knowing that there was no way a letter was going to be anywhere near enough to what he had wanted to say, what he still wanted to say, what Cam deserved. Evan’s eyes widened as Cam nodded and reached to a pocket inside his jacket. He pulled out a piece of paper, folded up and ragged-looking, and Evan felt his breath catch. That wasn’t seriously - Cam wouldn’t have kept that, not for seven years-
“’Cam,’” Cam read, unfolding the letter and making a show of reading it. “’This is the worst timing for this, and I know it. You’re on your way here right now, on a plane, and I can’t get in touch with you.’” Cam’s hands and voice were steady as he continued to read. “’I’m leaving on the Daedalus for Atlantis. They need me out there, Cam, and I’m hoping I can make a difference.’”
Cam’s eyes lifted, staring straight into Evan’s, and he continued speaking, quoting the letter he clearly no longer had to read. “’I’m sorry that it has to end this way. I’m sorry it has to end at all. I thought we were going to have a chance to make this work. I always did love you.’”
Cam’s voice was soft now. “And then you signed it and you left. And I got there six hours after the Daedalus took off, picked up a key to what I thought was going to be our home, and found it.”
Evan closed his eyes. He hadn’t expected it to still hurt, not after all this time. “Cam-”
“And then,” Cam went on, ignoring Evan entirely, “every time you came Earthside, I’d try to find you, see if maybe we could talk, but you were always in a meeting or out of the mountain or otherwise impossible to find. Once, even, I came here, and you managed to arrange to be off-world for the entirety of my trip.”
“To be fair, that one wasn’t entirely my fault,” Evan felt compelled to say. “Sheppard scheduled it, and then we were captured by angry natives.”
“You could have been here if you wanted to,” Cam countered, and Evan sighed. Yeah, he could have.
“So what I’m trying to figure - what I’ve spent the last seven years trying to figure - is how we can be together for two years before you decide to write me this letter, tell me you loved me, and then spend the next seven years either trying to get yourself killed or avoiding me.” Cam’s voice still had that calm, even tone, and if Evan hadn’t known better, he wouldn’t think Cam was even mildly upset. Even did know better, though, and he was still picking up all of those strains in Cam’s voice.
“I loved you,” Evan said honestly, moving to swing his legs over the side of the bed so he could sit face-to-face with Cam. “Whatever you think of me now, don’t doubt that. I loved you when we first hooked up, I loved you for the two years we were together, I loved you when I wrote you that letter, and I’ve spent the last seven years trying to avoid fucking you over any further because damn it, Cam, I still love you!”
Evan’s voice had been rising throughout his tirade and he broke off shouting, leaning back as he closed his eyes, trying to get his emotions in check. “That wasn’t fair,” he said after a moment. “I’m sorry.”
But Cam’s hands were on his wrists, tugging him upright, and Cam was leaning in very close, bumping their foreheads together gently. “Do you now?” he asked in a tone that was probably meant to be teasing but came out pleading, hopeful, and Evan felt something in him give way. “Do you really?”
“Yes,” Evan breathed reaching out with one hand to cup Cam’s face. “I didn’t leave because - I wasn’t avoiding you for-”
But Cam was leaning forward, and he brushed his lips against Evan’s as the smaller man rambled on, effectively shutting him up. Evan sat, stunned, as Cam said against his mouth, “I’ve been waiting seven years for that explanation.”
And then Cam was kissing him again, really kissing him, and Evan surged forward, kissing back. His hands were roaming everywhere, relearning a body he’d never forgotten - chest, arms, hips, back. Cam’s hands were repaying the favor, and his touch urged Evan on as his body remembered what his mind had replayed for him night and night again.
Evan leaned back into the bed, tugging Cam with him. Cam followed easily, pressing into Evan with no hesitation, just as they’d done hundreds of times before, thousands of years ago. Exploring hands turned desperate, pulling clothing from bodies until they both lay naked, panting, on the bed. Evan pulled back and Cam opened his eyes, raising one eyebrow. Evan grinned and slid down his body.
“I owe you this,” he said, voice low and hoarse as he reached out with his tongue and flicked the tip of Cam’s cock.
“You owe me much more than this,” Cam said, then gasped as Evan took him in his mouth. “But that’s - oh - that’s a good start.”
Evan hummed his agreement and Cam bucked his hips a little at the feeling it sent through him. Evan worked him slowly and steadily, bringing his hands up to help drive Cam closer and closer to oblivion, until he heard the tiny mewling noises that signaled how close he was. Evan pulled off and Cam groaned out loud at the loss.
Evan kissed his way up Cam’s chest until they were face-to-face, Evan holding his body up over Cam’s. “Your choice,” he said. “I can finish things up for you, or you can fuck me.”
Cam opened his eyes, and Evan could see him literally weighing the choices in his head, probably writing out little pro-and-con lists through the haze of pleasure. Evan thought both options had merit, personally, but he’d go with whichever Cam chose.
“Yeah,” Cam said after a moment, “that sounds good.”
Before Evan could ask him which ‘that’ he was talking about, Cam was rolling them over and kissing him again. Evan reached out blindly for his bedstand, yanking the drawer open and reaching inside for the lube.
“Shit,” he groaned out as he fished around inside the drawer. “Don’t think I have any condoms.”
Seven years ago, that wouldn’t have been a problem. They’d stopped using them a year in, figuring that two men in a monogamous relationship probably didn’t need to bother. It had been seven years, though, and though Evan hadn’t been with anyone in the interim - he’d always told himself he was just too busy, but he’d always known better - he didn’t know if Cam had. Didn’t know if he hoped he’d moved on, on hoped he hadn’t.
Cam pulled his weight back and looked seriously down at Evan. “You clean?” he asked simply, and Evan nodded. “So am I.” Cam hesitated. “I haven’t really - since you left,” he said, glancing away. Evan pulled him down and kissed him hungrily.
“Neither have I,” he whispered in Cam’s ear, and found that that was the answer they’d both wanted to hear.
Cam kissed him frantically, as if he was trying to convince Evan all in one go that leaving had been a bad idea, though Evan had pretty much figured that out on his own. His hands trailed down Evan’s chest, followed by his mouth, and Evan groaned when Cam licked a nipple. He fisted his hands in Cam’s hair, not sure if he wanted Cam to stay put or keep going, but Cam had his own ideas, kissing his way down until he was settled between Evan’s thighs.
Evan was concentrating on breathing as he took in the situation: Cam, here, with him, not hating him, not even close, by the looks of things. He heard the tube click open and spread his legs wider. He felt Cam’s finger brush against him once, twice, then pull away, and he groaned.
“Mitchell,” he growled, trying for threatening, but he was pretty sure it just sounded needy.
“Oh, I think I get to torture you for a little while,” Cam said, resting his finger with the barest bit of pressure against Evan’s entrance. “After all, you did avoid me for seven years.”
“I’m never going to live that down, am I?” Evan groaned, trying very hard not to push against the finger.
“Not for a very long time,” Cam agreed, pushing the finger in torturously slowly. He slid it all the way in, slow and smooth, and rested inside without moving until Evan whimpered.
Cam gave him a wicked grin and curled his finger, watching as Evan gasped and bucked.
“Please,” Evan moaned, and he hadn’t know how badly he wanted this, all of this, until it was right in front of him again. “God, Cam, please.”
Cam’s eyes darkened and he pushed in another finger, moving faster, really preparing Evan now. Apparently the begging had pushed something in him, because he was quickly adding a third finger. Evan was helpless beneath him, wondering how he’d ever been stupid enough to leave Cam, to leave this-
And then Cam was pressing into him, inch by inch, and Evan felt boneless, weightless, delirious with sensation and feeling and emotion until Cam was all the way inside him. Cam let out a shaky breath and dropped his head to Evan’s chest. “God,” he whispered. “I missed you.”
Evan brought a hand up to brush through Cam’s hair. “I missed you, too,” he said softly. “I’m an idiot.”
“I understand,” Cam said, lifting his head to look at Evan. “I just - it sucked.”
Evan nodded his agreement and shifted slightly, watching as Cam gasped. “Maybe we can have the rest of this conversation later,” he suggested as levelly as he could, which wasn’t very.
“Yeah,” Cam agreed, and then he started to move.
Evan let go and lost himself in something he had been sure he’d destroyed. Cam moved in and out, and Evan let him hear every moan, every hitch of his breath, let him see the tremors and jerks he was causing. He panted as Cam shifted, changing the angle, and moaned loudly as Cam’s thrusts came faster together, harder, until he was slamming into Evan’s body.
Evan’s hands clenched in the sheets when Cam’s hand grabbed him roughly, jerking three times before Evan came with a groan. Cam dropped his head to his chest and kept moving, pounding into Evan a handful of times more before he shuddered and came, dropping his weight down onto Evan.
Evan moved first, bringing his arms up around Cam’s weight on top of him, stroking at his back and his hair as Cam’s trembling lessened and finally stopped. He pressed a kiss to Cam’s temple, the only part of his face he could reach, before Cam rolled off of him.
Evan turned to curl into Cam as the other man opened his arms, and he rested his head against Cam’s chest as he closed his eyes. They hadn’t cleaned up, and that wasn’t going to be fun later, but they needed this right now.
“I love you,” Evan said after a while. “I’m sorry I left how I did. I’m sorry I left at all.”
“I love you, too,” Cam replied. “And I told you I understood. I wasn’t lying.”
Evan shrugged. “I know,” he said softly. “I kept telling myself if I stayed away, if I avoided you, it would make it easier for you to forget about me, move on, be happy with someone else.”
Cam sighed. “I tried,” he admitted, and Evan forced himself to stay calm, not to tense. “Saw a guy a few times. It didn’t go anywhere.” He shifted, but Evan stayed close. “You didn’t?”
“No,” Evan replied simply. “Didn’t even try.” He yawned and felt Cam chuckle.
“Well, now we’re both here,” he said, sounding sleepy himself. “Might as well see if we can pick up where we left off.”
Evan’s last thought before he drifted off to sleep was, I don’t think we’re going to have a problem with that.
Author: somehowunbroken
Fandom: SGA/SG1
Pairing: Evan/Cam
Word count: 2,705
Rating/warnings: NC-17/sex.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate: Atlantis.
Summary: Porn, as promised! Lorne Fest: Lorne/Cam - "Okay, so maybe we didn't have the best breakup."
Evan knew, of course, that the Daedalus was due in today. He had placed all of the requisition requests weeks ago, and had been anticipating the arrival of said supplies for four days - Sergeant Bradford in the mess said they were running really low on those pudding cups that Evan used to bribe McKay to stay the hell away from Sheppard when the other man was in a bad mood. Therefore, yes, he knew that the Daedalus would be arriving today.
He did not remember, however, that along with the supplies he’d asked for, the Daedalus would be delivering one Colonel Cameron Mitchell.
“Oh,” Evan said as he walked around the boxes, checking them against the list of what they’d ordered - damn it, looked like they’d been slighted three boxes of pudding cups, and wasn’t that going to be hell - when he walked straight into the other man. “Um. Hi.”
Cam gave him a noncommittal jerk of the head and stepped back quickly. “Sheppard around?” he asked, tone far too businesslike, too dismissive to be Cam. Evan was hurt for a moment before he remembered that, okay, yeah, Cam had every right to be pissed at him.
“Should be upstairs,” Evan said, gesturing towards the Jumper bay. “His Jumper has a cold.”
Cam was already halfway to the staircase, but paused as Evan spoke. “His plane has a cold,” he repeated.
“Jumper,” Evan corrected absently, trying very hard not to think about how well the Atlantis BDUs fit Cam, about how Cam was going to be stationed here now as the leader of the new F-302 squadron, about how fucking awkward this was going to be if he didn’t at least try to fix it soon. “They’re finicky,” he finally said after what was probably too long a pause. “He’s up there with Zelenka.”
Cam didn’t say another word, just turned on his heel and walked stiffly up the stairs, through the control room, and up to the Jumper bay.
Evan sighed and smacked his head on the nearest crate. Oh, yes, Cam was still pissed. This was going to be hell.
--
Evan was in his quarters later that night, trying to work out what to say to Cam, when the door chimes rang. Before Evan could even turn fully towards the entrance, the door opened, and Cam walked in.
Well, then. Apparently Evan wasn’t going to get any more time to think this through.
“Hi,” Evan said after a minute. Cam had been standing just inside the door, staring at him with a look Evan couldn’t identify in his eyes. Evan shut the door with a thought and locked it, just to be safe; this was one conversation that he really didn’t want McKay interrupting. It would have been worth two pudding cups if he’d known Cam was going to drop by.
“Hi yourself,” Cam said back, and this was the Cam he knew, the Cam he remembered, the Cam he-
No. Not going there.
Evan smiled and dropped to his bed, waving his hand at the only chair in the room, which Cam dragged over and sat in. Evan’s smile became strained and he lost it altogether as Cam sat in the chair, leaning forward, studying him intently.
“Cam,” he said, and Cam’s attention snapped from where it was wandering around his torso back up to his face. “I’m - fuck. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry,” Cam said, in that same friendly tone, but Evan could hear the undercurrents right below the surface - anger, sadness, betrayal. “You run out in the middle of the night and then spend the next seven years avoiding me, and you’re sorry.”
Evan winced. It sounded bad out loud, worse in that easygoing voice. "Okay, so maybe we didn't have the best breakup."
“Evan,” Cam said, leaning back in the chair and propping his feet on Evan’s bed, “we didn’t have a breakup. Remember?”
Okay. Cam was gong to make this difficult. Evan figured he probably deserved that.
“I left you a letter,” he protested, knowing that there was no way a letter was going to be anywhere near enough to what he had wanted to say, what he still wanted to say, what Cam deserved. Evan’s eyes widened as Cam nodded and reached to a pocket inside his jacket. He pulled out a piece of paper, folded up and ragged-looking, and Evan felt his breath catch. That wasn’t seriously - Cam wouldn’t have kept that, not for seven years-
“’Cam,’” Cam read, unfolding the letter and making a show of reading it. “’This is the worst timing for this, and I know it. You’re on your way here right now, on a plane, and I can’t get in touch with you.’” Cam’s hands and voice were steady as he continued to read. “’I’m leaving on the Daedalus for Atlantis. They need me out there, Cam, and I’m hoping I can make a difference.’”
Cam’s eyes lifted, staring straight into Evan’s, and he continued speaking, quoting the letter he clearly no longer had to read. “’I’m sorry that it has to end this way. I’m sorry it has to end at all. I thought we were going to have a chance to make this work. I always did love you.’”
Cam’s voice was soft now. “And then you signed it and you left. And I got there six hours after the Daedalus took off, picked up a key to what I thought was going to be our home, and found it.”
Evan closed his eyes. He hadn’t expected it to still hurt, not after all this time. “Cam-”
“And then,” Cam went on, ignoring Evan entirely, “every time you came Earthside, I’d try to find you, see if maybe we could talk, but you were always in a meeting or out of the mountain or otherwise impossible to find. Once, even, I came here, and you managed to arrange to be off-world for the entirety of my trip.”
“To be fair, that one wasn’t entirely my fault,” Evan felt compelled to say. “Sheppard scheduled it, and then we were captured by angry natives.”
“You could have been here if you wanted to,” Cam countered, and Evan sighed. Yeah, he could have.
“So what I’m trying to figure - what I’ve spent the last seven years trying to figure - is how we can be together for two years before you decide to write me this letter, tell me you loved me, and then spend the next seven years either trying to get yourself killed or avoiding me.” Cam’s voice still had that calm, even tone, and if Evan hadn’t known better, he wouldn’t think Cam was even mildly upset. Even did know better, though, and he was still picking up all of those strains in Cam’s voice.
“I loved you,” Evan said honestly, moving to swing his legs over the side of the bed so he could sit face-to-face with Cam. “Whatever you think of me now, don’t doubt that. I loved you when we first hooked up, I loved you for the two years we were together, I loved you when I wrote you that letter, and I’ve spent the last seven years trying to avoid fucking you over any further because damn it, Cam, I still love you!”
Evan’s voice had been rising throughout his tirade and he broke off shouting, leaning back as he closed his eyes, trying to get his emotions in check. “That wasn’t fair,” he said after a moment. “I’m sorry.”
But Cam’s hands were on his wrists, tugging him upright, and Cam was leaning in very close, bumping their foreheads together gently. “Do you now?” he asked in a tone that was probably meant to be teasing but came out pleading, hopeful, and Evan felt something in him give way. “Do you really?”
“Yes,” Evan breathed reaching out with one hand to cup Cam’s face. “I didn’t leave because - I wasn’t avoiding you for-”
But Cam was leaning forward, and he brushed his lips against Evan’s as the smaller man rambled on, effectively shutting him up. Evan sat, stunned, as Cam said against his mouth, “I’ve been waiting seven years for that explanation.”
And then Cam was kissing him again, really kissing him, and Evan surged forward, kissing back. His hands were roaming everywhere, relearning a body he’d never forgotten - chest, arms, hips, back. Cam’s hands were repaying the favor, and his touch urged Evan on as his body remembered what his mind had replayed for him night and night again.
Evan leaned back into the bed, tugging Cam with him. Cam followed easily, pressing into Evan with no hesitation, just as they’d done hundreds of times before, thousands of years ago. Exploring hands turned desperate, pulling clothing from bodies until they both lay naked, panting, on the bed. Evan pulled back and Cam opened his eyes, raising one eyebrow. Evan grinned and slid down his body.
“I owe you this,” he said, voice low and hoarse as he reached out with his tongue and flicked the tip of Cam’s cock.
“You owe me much more than this,” Cam said, then gasped as Evan took him in his mouth. “But that’s - oh - that’s a good start.”
Evan hummed his agreement and Cam bucked his hips a little at the feeling it sent through him. Evan worked him slowly and steadily, bringing his hands up to help drive Cam closer and closer to oblivion, until he heard the tiny mewling noises that signaled how close he was. Evan pulled off and Cam groaned out loud at the loss.
Evan kissed his way up Cam’s chest until they were face-to-face, Evan holding his body up over Cam’s. “Your choice,” he said. “I can finish things up for you, or you can fuck me.”
Cam opened his eyes, and Evan could see him literally weighing the choices in his head, probably writing out little pro-and-con lists through the haze of pleasure. Evan thought both options had merit, personally, but he’d go with whichever Cam chose.
“Yeah,” Cam said after a moment, “that sounds good.”
Before Evan could ask him which ‘that’ he was talking about, Cam was rolling them over and kissing him again. Evan reached out blindly for his bedstand, yanking the drawer open and reaching inside for the lube.
“Shit,” he groaned out as he fished around inside the drawer. “Don’t think I have any condoms.”
Seven years ago, that wouldn’t have been a problem. They’d stopped using them a year in, figuring that two men in a monogamous relationship probably didn’t need to bother. It had been seven years, though, and though Evan hadn’t been with anyone in the interim - he’d always told himself he was just too busy, but he’d always known better - he didn’t know if Cam had. Didn’t know if he hoped he’d moved on, on hoped he hadn’t.
Cam pulled his weight back and looked seriously down at Evan. “You clean?” he asked simply, and Evan nodded. “So am I.” Cam hesitated. “I haven’t really - since you left,” he said, glancing away. Evan pulled him down and kissed him hungrily.
“Neither have I,” he whispered in Cam’s ear, and found that that was the answer they’d both wanted to hear.
Cam kissed him frantically, as if he was trying to convince Evan all in one go that leaving had been a bad idea, though Evan had pretty much figured that out on his own. His hands trailed down Evan’s chest, followed by his mouth, and Evan groaned when Cam licked a nipple. He fisted his hands in Cam’s hair, not sure if he wanted Cam to stay put or keep going, but Cam had his own ideas, kissing his way down until he was settled between Evan’s thighs.
Evan was concentrating on breathing as he took in the situation: Cam, here, with him, not hating him, not even close, by the looks of things. He heard the tube click open and spread his legs wider. He felt Cam’s finger brush against him once, twice, then pull away, and he groaned.
“Mitchell,” he growled, trying for threatening, but he was pretty sure it just sounded needy.
“Oh, I think I get to torture you for a little while,” Cam said, resting his finger with the barest bit of pressure against Evan’s entrance. “After all, you did avoid me for seven years.”
“I’m never going to live that down, am I?” Evan groaned, trying very hard not to push against the finger.
“Not for a very long time,” Cam agreed, pushing the finger in torturously slowly. He slid it all the way in, slow and smooth, and rested inside without moving until Evan whimpered.
Cam gave him a wicked grin and curled his finger, watching as Evan gasped and bucked.
“Please,” Evan moaned, and he hadn’t know how badly he wanted this, all of this, until it was right in front of him again. “God, Cam, please.”
Cam’s eyes darkened and he pushed in another finger, moving faster, really preparing Evan now. Apparently the begging had pushed something in him, because he was quickly adding a third finger. Evan was helpless beneath him, wondering how he’d ever been stupid enough to leave Cam, to leave this-
And then Cam was pressing into him, inch by inch, and Evan felt boneless, weightless, delirious with sensation and feeling and emotion until Cam was all the way inside him. Cam let out a shaky breath and dropped his head to Evan’s chest. “God,” he whispered. “I missed you.”
Evan brought a hand up to brush through Cam’s hair. “I missed you, too,” he said softly. “I’m an idiot.”
“I understand,” Cam said, lifting his head to look at Evan. “I just - it sucked.”
Evan nodded his agreement and shifted slightly, watching as Cam gasped. “Maybe we can have the rest of this conversation later,” he suggested as levelly as he could, which wasn’t very.
“Yeah,” Cam agreed, and then he started to move.
Evan let go and lost himself in something he had been sure he’d destroyed. Cam moved in and out, and Evan let him hear every moan, every hitch of his breath, let him see the tremors and jerks he was causing. He panted as Cam shifted, changing the angle, and moaned loudly as Cam’s thrusts came faster together, harder, until he was slamming into Evan’s body.
Evan’s hands clenched in the sheets when Cam’s hand grabbed him roughly, jerking three times before Evan came with a groan. Cam dropped his head to his chest and kept moving, pounding into Evan a handful of times more before he shuddered and came, dropping his weight down onto Evan.
Evan moved first, bringing his arms up around Cam’s weight on top of him, stroking at his back and his hair as Cam’s trembling lessened and finally stopped. He pressed a kiss to Cam’s temple, the only part of his face he could reach, before Cam rolled off of him.
Evan turned to curl into Cam as the other man opened his arms, and he rested his head against Cam’s chest as he closed his eyes. They hadn’t cleaned up, and that wasn’t going to be fun later, but they needed this right now.
“I love you,” Evan said after a while. “I’m sorry I left how I did. I’m sorry I left at all.”
“I love you, too,” Cam replied. “And I told you I understood. I wasn’t lying.”
Evan shrugged. “I know,” he said softly. “I kept telling myself if I stayed away, if I avoided you, it would make it easier for you to forget about me, move on, be happy with someone else.”
Cam sighed. “I tried,” he admitted, and Evan forced himself to stay calm, not to tense. “Saw a guy a few times. It didn’t go anywhere.” He shifted, but Evan stayed close. “You didn’t?”
“No,” Evan replied simply. “Didn’t even try.” He yawned and felt Cam chuckle.
“Well, now we’re both here,” he said, sounding sleepy himself. “Might as well see if we can pick up where we left off.”
Evan’s last thought before he drifted off to sleep was, I don’t think we’re going to have a problem with that.