The Fear Inherent in the System

[some_day_soling]

I've lived through horrible enough non-pregnancy hormones and even a few early pregnancy hormones to know that what we do in this country to new moms who are emotional and keyed up is beyond mean

Comments

[hbpen]

Being a parent is full of that kind of this v. that stuff. It's always a challenge. And the tough thing is that you'll never know if this decision or the other was the best one. I also learned that the things I thought I would do & be changed as the time actually GOT here. But the main thing is that you do your best & love the kiddo. And I know you will. :)

[some_day_soling]

Yeah. I know it all goes out the window once you are in the trenches. I even knew the fear mongering was out there, I just didn't realize how intense and unending it is. There is a lot that gets tuned out when it doesn't apply, plus, everything on the child related websites that I've never had a reason to go to before, the people behind the registry counters, and then all the "well meaning" advice. I knew people did that. I didn't realize how much of it was meant purely to scare the crap out of future parents.

I knew it was out there; I knew it was fear that bred the helicopter parent; I just wasn't prepared for the near constant bombardment.

[lexiphanic]

Why do pregnant women not go on more homicidal rampages?

Indeed. Pregnant and post-partum. It starts the minute you get to the hospital. The first nurse we had in L&D just about drove me over the edge. It was like she was trying to find things to say to make me more stressed and scared and upset, but saying them in the nicest way possible and relying on my minnesotan-ness to protect her. Like being in the hospital three weeks early and knowing what was coming wasn't bad enough. And the hormones were WAY worse that day and the first couple of weeks after she was born than at any point earlier.

You deal with it just by keeping moving. There aren't any clear answers, and you (or at least I) just have to accept it and respond to your kid. You will love him and want good things for him, and listen to what he wants for himself, which are the most important parts of being a good parent.

[some_day_soling]

And did you drop your Minnesotan-ness and throttle her?