Sustain
Title: Sustain
Author: forcryinoutloud
Fandom: Dark Angel
Pairing: Alec/Logan pre-slash
Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Rating: PG13
Summary: Days go by and Logan has never seen Alec so quiet, so still.
Notes: This is part of the verse " Forgiveness" and " Healing" take place in. It follows Healing.
Days go by and Logan has never seen Alec so quiet, so still. He sleeps late, dragging himself from bed with a faint wince that never seems to go away even though his body is healing. It takes cajoling on Logan’s part to force Alec to eat anything and even then he simply picks at it, eating just enough to sustain himself, no more, no less.
Logan tries to keep working, even though after the war ‘Eyes Only’ wasn’t really needed anymore. There’s still work for him to do though, the few remaining transgenics that survived need safe places to heal, places they can call their own.
It was a hard war on everyone, so many losses on both sides and the damnedest thing of it all is that nothing has changed. People are still afraid of transgenics, still think they should be wiped out, locked away; dealt with. Logan isn’t sure if that will ever change.
Alec is one of the few transgenics that remain in the city, the rest Logan has managed to find a place for. Its put a big dent in his savings, but Logan has managed to buy a few properties; out of the way, in the country, no one around for miles. He set them up as safe houses, knowing that Max would want them protected…always wanted them safe.
He hasn’t offered to set Alec up anywhere. The truth is Logan is loath to even think of letting Alec leave. He doesn’t think Alec is ready to go and knows that he himself is not ready for that day to come anytime soon.
Alec, surprisingly, brings Logan a sense of peace and comfort that he didn’t think he’d find again, not after seeing Max’s broken and bloodied body, lying amongst so many others, Joshua beside her, their hands entwined.
Alec for his part doesn’t seem inclined to leave either. He rummages through Logan’s cupboards, never finding anything that interests him, camps out on his couch and watches old snowy reruns on Logan’s TV, curled under one of Logan’s heaviest and warmest blankets. Alec always seems to be cold now.
At night, he slips into Logan’s bed, curled at the edge, far away from Logan’s body, not there for anything other than whatever comfort he takes from Logan’s presence. They never talk about it, about what it means that Alec can’t sleep unless Logan is there, inches away from him. He knows that neither of them are ready to talk yet. He hopes one day they will be.
---
A month after the war ended, a transgenic, an X-6, was beaten to death by a gang of ‘normals’ patrolling the streets, after someone had noticed his barcode. He was barely seventeen. Logan wasn’t sure what to expect when he had told Alec. At first, Alec gave no reaction, simply nodded and went back to watching TV. Later that night Alec disappeared for the first time, slipped out without Logan noticing, and was gone for three days. Logan didn’t think he’d ever been so scared in his entire life.
He spent hours, days looking for Alec, calling in favors from old contacts, everything he could do to try and find him. And everything he tried failed. Alec didn’t want to be found.
And then Alec came back.
Logan swallowed hard and fought the urge to grab Alec and shake him, hold him and never let go. Alec tossed his jacket on the couch and pulled off the turtle neck he’d been wearing, turning his back to Logan without a word.
Logan swallowed again. He moved closer and traced his fingers over the back of Alec’s neck, a neck now free of Manticore’s mark of ownership. The skin was red and raw, and Alec hissed when Logan’s fingers made contact, his head bowed.
“You…”
“I’m not theirs anymore,” Alec whispered harshly, pulling away from Logan’s touch, not meeting his eyes.
Logan nodded, wrapped a hand around Alec’s wrist and pulled him closer. Alec still wouldn’t meet his eyes but he melted against Logan when Logan’s arms circled him. Curling a hand around the nape of Alec’s neck, just under the place his tattoo had once been, Logan murmured into Alec’s ear, “You never were, Alec.”
Alec shuddered in his arms, wrapping his own around Logan’s waist and buried his face against Logan’s neck. Logan ran his hands up and down Alec’s back, offering what comfort he could. This was the first time Alec had really let Logan close to him since the night he had rescued him.
When Alec finally pulled away, Logan let him, knowing he needed time, space. “I’m going to grab a shower,” Alec muttered, grabbing his shirt and heading toward the bathroom.
Logan watched him go, hoping this was a step forward and not a step back.
Author: forcryinoutloud
Fandom: Dark Angel
Pairing: Alec/Logan pre-slash
Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Rating: PG13
Summary: Days go by and Logan has never seen Alec so quiet, so still.
Notes: This is part of the verse " Forgiveness" and " Healing" take place in. It follows Healing.
Days go by and Logan has never seen Alec so quiet, so still. He sleeps late, dragging himself from bed with a faint wince that never seems to go away even though his body is healing. It takes cajoling on Logan’s part to force Alec to eat anything and even then he simply picks at it, eating just enough to sustain himself, no more, no less.
Logan tries to keep working, even though after the war ‘Eyes Only’ wasn’t really needed anymore. There’s still work for him to do though, the few remaining transgenics that survived need safe places to heal, places they can call their own.
It was a hard war on everyone, so many losses on both sides and the damnedest thing of it all is that nothing has changed. People are still afraid of transgenics, still think they should be wiped out, locked away; dealt with. Logan isn’t sure if that will ever change.
Alec is one of the few transgenics that remain in the city, the rest Logan has managed to find a place for. Its put a big dent in his savings, but Logan has managed to buy a few properties; out of the way, in the country, no one around for miles. He set them up as safe houses, knowing that Max would want them protected…always wanted them safe.
He hasn’t offered to set Alec up anywhere. The truth is Logan is loath to even think of letting Alec leave. He doesn’t think Alec is ready to go and knows that he himself is not ready for that day to come anytime soon.
Alec, surprisingly, brings Logan a sense of peace and comfort that he didn’t think he’d find again, not after seeing Max’s broken and bloodied body, lying amongst so many others, Joshua beside her, their hands entwined.
Alec for his part doesn’t seem inclined to leave either. He rummages through Logan’s cupboards, never finding anything that interests him, camps out on his couch and watches old snowy reruns on Logan’s TV, curled under one of Logan’s heaviest and warmest blankets. Alec always seems to be cold now.
At night, he slips into Logan’s bed, curled at the edge, far away from Logan’s body, not there for anything other than whatever comfort he takes from Logan’s presence. They never talk about it, about what it means that Alec can’t sleep unless Logan is there, inches away from him. He knows that neither of them are ready to talk yet. He hopes one day they will be.
---
A month after the war ended, a transgenic, an X-6, was beaten to death by a gang of ‘normals’ patrolling the streets, after someone had noticed his barcode. He was barely seventeen. Logan wasn’t sure what to expect when he had told Alec. At first, Alec gave no reaction, simply nodded and went back to watching TV. Later that night Alec disappeared for the first time, slipped out without Logan noticing, and was gone for three days. Logan didn’t think he’d ever been so scared in his entire life.
He spent hours, days looking for Alec, calling in favors from old contacts, everything he could do to try and find him. And everything he tried failed. Alec didn’t want to be found.
And then Alec came back.
Logan swallowed hard and fought the urge to grab Alec and shake him, hold him and never let go. Alec tossed his jacket on the couch and pulled off the turtle neck he’d been wearing, turning his back to Logan without a word.
Logan swallowed again. He moved closer and traced his fingers over the back of Alec’s neck, a neck now free of Manticore’s mark of ownership. The skin was red and raw, and Alec hissed when Logan’s fingers made contact, his head bowed.
“You…”
“I’m not theirs anymore,” Alec whispered harshly, pulling away from Logan’s touch, not meeting his eyes.
Logan nodded, wrapped a hand around Alec’s wrist and pulled him closer. Alec still wouldn’t meet his eyes but he melted against Logan when Logan’s arms circled him. Curling a hand around the nape of Alec’s neck, just under the place his tattoo had once been, Logan murmured into Alec’s ear, “You never were, Alec.”
Alec shuddered in his arms, wrapping his own around Logan’s waist and buried his face against Logan’s neck. Logan ran his hands up and down Alec’s back, offering what comfort he could. This was the first time Alec had really let Logan close to him since the night he had rescued him.
When Alec finally pulled away, Logan let him, knowing he needed time, space. “I’m going to grab a shower,” Alec muttered, grabbing his shirt and heading toward the bathroom.
Logan watched him go, hoping this was a step forward and not a step back.