Comments | sokorralewis: Zara's Outburst

sokorralewis

Zara's Outburst

Jul 13, 2007 03:39

Ok, before I write this, this is a scene that came to my mind when I was imaging what it would be like if my OC Zara Black had been in HP since the first year (which would have been her third I believe...she would have graduated during GoF). This is her going off on someone about prejudice against the slytherins. It basically came out of me getting ( Read more... )

fandom: harry potter, verse: sometimes

Comments 5

enaranie July 13 2007, 19:30:41 UTC

Ooh, interesting. ^^

Just a few things: you really need to spellcheck and or proof read that, there are quite a few typos/spelling mistakes. I can go through and point them out if you want XP

Also, you need speech marks at the beginning of new paragraphs when she's speaking - although not at the ends.

Other than that, it's cool. Zara seems fun, and it's good to see someone defending Slytherins - not that I'm a particular fan, myself. Who did bring her up? - I assume not Sirius... And who's her *mother*? XD

And uh... she doesn't actually swear. ^^;;

ladybeth July 13 2007, 19:58:35 UTC

Yeah, I know. I wrote it directly on Semagic (My LJ client) which doesn't have an automatic spellcheck. For some reason when I type early in the morning I can type alot...its just the spelling and grammer go on the wayside. This is just really writing something out in my head. It could fit into "Sometimes" which is one of the stories with Zara in it but since Hermione and Blaise are the main characters to that, i don't see myself putting it it.

Zara's main story is "A Sorta Fairytale" which I've written only one chapter so far but I have the whole thing planned out in my head (just have to add the HBP events to it). Her mother is another OC of mine named Athena Malfoy in that one who raises her and her younger brother James (born in 1981) in PA (It seemed like a good location when I wrote it)from 1982 till the end of OoTP.

Its a story that has been going throuhg my brain for a couple years now that I finally just sat down and started to write. It's on my ff.net account and probably this journal if your interested.

enaranie July 13 2007, 20:03:27 UTC

Where's PA? (I'm English, I don't know these shortenings... I'm guessing it's a state... XD) And what's HBP?? ^^;;

Aww, Sirius called his kid James ^^ Cute.

I may go look for it... ^^

ladybeth July 13 2007, 20:22:43 UTC

Pennsylvania...It's a State in the US, right under New York. It's where I live.

HBP = Half-Blood Prince, the sixth Harry Potter book.

Well, actually Athena named him Sirius James Black and he goes by James. Sirius really had nothing to do with that as he was in jail when Jamie (as everyone calls him) was born in December. I figured with how close the two were, they would have ended up naming one of thier kids after the other.

Here's the link: http://www.fanfiction.net/~sokorralewis Both Athena and Zara stories are near the top of the page.

Rework slybrunette July 15 2007, 01:56:48 UTC

She spun around to face him, her eyes blazing and staring directly into his. For a second he felt afraid, having known about the infamous Black temper, but he brought forth the courage that supposedly all Gryffindor's had and stood still ( ... )