Fic: Skeptics and Lovebugs
Title: Skeptics and Lovebugs
Author: Janne (bergann)
Pairing: Mike Carden/Kevin Jonas (small mentions of other pairings)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5 906
Summary: The Jonas family is well known for their purity rings and religious views, and it's good to see that it hasn't prevented Kevin from denying who he is. This magazine is behind you 100%, Kevin Jonas, and wish you and Mike Carden a happy marriage!
Author's Note: This is for black_trillium, because if it wasn't for her, this never would've been finished. Also, yes, that is a shoutout to skoosiepants in there, which I thought only fitting since if it wasn't for her, I never would've written this.
There's also amazing art by akire_yta, which you should check out here.
Demi's smile reminds Kevin a lot of the shark from Finding Nemo - which, granted, hadn't actually eaten Marlin or Dory, but it had been a close call and really, Kevin would love a little bit of sea grass or something to hide in.
"Come on, Kev, just two hours at a fancy restaurant," Demi says and bats her eyelashes. Probably in Morse code for 'where you'll make a delicious stew'. Kevin really hates Joe and Nick for putting him in this situation.
"Um, no." He says and starts looking through the day's receipts in sincere hope she'll get the hint and go away. "I have plans."
"Plans? What sort of plans could possibly be more important than me?" Demi's probably still smiling. Kevin refuses to check, because he's already going to have nightmares about that smile. No need to give his subconscious extra details.
"Usually Kev here is not so grumpy," William says, suddenly there right next to her and Kevin can't help but take some pleasure out of the fact that she squeaks in surprise. "But his husband's prolonged absence just makes him a little snappy."
"Husband?" Demi asks, eyebrow raised and smile so, so predatory. Kevin stares at William with big eyes and prays that William will read his mind and laugh it off.
"Oh my God," William says and then he laughs like there is nothing more hilarious than the situation at hand, "You don't know about Mike?"
"No," Demi says and then turns her attention back to Kevin. "You're married, Jonas?"
Kevin doesn't know what he did to deserve this, unless he like...kicks puppies in his sleep or something. He makes a noise in his throat and pretends to smile. He's not entirely sure he trusts himself to speak without also throttling William. It would be bad for business if Kevin kills him.
"Well not yet, of course," William says, ruffling Kevin's hair like he's some sort of dog. Kevin swats his hand away, and William adjusts easily, putting his arm around Demi to lead her out the door as he continues, "They're only engaged, but you look at them and it just becomes so apparent that they love each other, you know? Carden and Kev are just one of those couples that just makes you believe in that fairytale ending, even when they're arguing about wedding plans. It's adorable, and there's so much more to tell, but sadly we're closed. Goodbye!"
The moment the door closes behind Demi, Kevin drops his head against the desk. "You just -- you --"
"No need to thank me!" William says cheerfully and ruffles his hair again once he's within range. It's extremely possible William has this weird fixation with Kevin's hair, but it's something Kevin's learned to accept and ignore over the three years they've known each other. "Who was she, anyway?"
"A reporter doing an article on Joe and Nick," Kevin says and every word kind of makes him want to cry a little more, "who wanted a look at the life of the 'lesser known brother who raised them'."
There's not a lot of comfort to find in William's face when Kevin dares a peek. "Oops. My mistake."
"I hate you," Kevin says and he's completely serious about it this time, but it's ruined somewhat by the fact that William starts laughing, for real this time.
*
The Jonas brothers have gotten a lot of attention lately, after the Jonas Adventures signed on with a newer, bigger network. Everywhere you look there seems to be a Jonas face staring right back at you. But while the public continues to demand more and more of Nick and Joe, there's one Jonas brother that's gone forgotten.
Kevin Jonas' appearance on the Jonas Adventures is said by many to be the reason the show suddenly soared to new heights. He appeared from seemingly nowhere to capture the hearts of us all, only to retreat right back to the shadows, leaving fans screaming for more.
Will we be seeing Kevin again on The Jonas Adventures any time soon?
Nick: We don't have any plans to have Kevin on again right now. Joe and I would love it, but Kevin's pretty private so life in front of the camera is not really his style. It was great fun having him on for that one episode though. He's pretty awesome.
Does he ever call you up to comment on an episode?
Joe: Oh yeah, we're usually on the phone while he's watching. It's something we've been doing since he went off to university and we were doing our web series. Kev's always been really supportive. He was actually the one to give us the camera we filmed our web series with for Christmas, and he followed us around filming whenever he was home while we acted like idiots. He didn't even ruin that many takes by laughing.
So it seems agreed that Kevin Jonas is a great brother and adorable to boot. But who is he exactly?
Well, he's 24, has a degree in business management and is the owner of a trendy cafe in Chicago called Skeptics and Lovebugs, along with author William Beckett. His apartment is allegedly tiny and his dog is a black Parson Russell terrier mix named Ninja.
"It's not that I dislike being interviewed," Kevin said after a round of questions went unanswered during a rather impromptu interview at Skeptics and Lovebugs, "It's just...my life is just like everyone else's. I mean, I own this place and my brothers entertain the nation every Monday, but other than that it's not like my life is a thrilling tale of adventure."
Not so, according to a close friend of Kevin, who informed me that Kevin is in the middle of planning his own wedding to Mike.
It's so obvious how much Kevin and Carden love each other, the friend said as Kevin smiled in the background, even when they're arguing about wedding plans, it makes you believe in that happy fairytale ending.
The Jonas family is well known for their purity rings and religious views, and it's good to see that it hasn't prevented Kevin from denying who he is. This magazine is behind you 100%, Kevin Jonas, and wish you and Mike Carden a happy marriage!
*
"This is the best thing ever," Lucas says and he's got actual tears in his eyes from laughing, "I didn't think today could get any better after the morning sex and that chocolate muffin, but this - this is like ten years worth of Christmas present rolled into one."
"I'm not even gay," Kevin says and scowls when this just makes Lucas laugh harder.
"Oh god, stop it," Lucas says, "This is just too much."
Corbin frowns, or at least tries to, but he's still shaking slightly. Kevin has terrible friends who'd probably be too busy laughing to save him from a burning building. "How did this even happen?"
"William is how this happened, how else?" Kevin looks again at the article and groans.
"You know what my favorite part is?" Lucas asks once he's got his breathing back a little, "It's totally how she wrote the entire thing in a way that pretty much implies you'd be the biggest douche on the planet if you suddenly admitted it was a lie you didn't stop from hitting the press."
"How was I supposed to know it was going to turn into a huge article?" Kevin asks, "Or that she would take William seriously for that matter?"
"You're going to look like an asshole," Lucas cackles and William claps his hand over Lucas' mouth.
"What young Mr. Grabeel is trying to say here," William says, "is that it was an honest mistake and that -- that girl did not look old enough to be a reporter, let alone for a big magazine."
"I think what we should be most worried about here," Brendon says and his voice is surprisingly serious, although he's saying it from where he fell laughing on the floor, so the effect is kind of ruined anyway, "is: what is Mike going to say?"
*
"Would anyone care to explain how I got engaged to a Jonas brother overnight without even having the benefit of being drunk in Vegas?" Mike throws the door open, something Kevin would normally protest at, but the words die on his tongue. "I didn't even know any of them were legal."
"Mike Carden!" William purrs, throwing his arms wide and coming out from behind the counter to wrap them around Mike, "What a pleasure, what a thrill. You are a rare sight indeed. How was the land of the kangaroos?"
"Save the pleasantries, Beckett, and show me this fiancé you apparently got me."
"Ah," William smiles wide and gestures towards where Kevin currently having some difficulty actually moving. "Mike Carden, meet the love of your life. Kev, this is our very own ray of sunshine."
See, Kevin's never actually met Mike before, but he knows who Mike is - especially since Mike is the guitarist in Kevin's favorite band, something which William has found constant delight in ever since he found out. But they've never actually been introduced.
This is definitely not how he expected their first meeting to go, not that Kevin has thought about it that much or anything. He just always thought Mike would maybe be smiling a little, and well, right now he looks sort of like he wants to punch Kevin in the face. Kevin widens his stance a little and prepares himself for the worst.
"You look like a poodle," Mike says which Kevin has to admit is a really weird thing to say before punching someone. Who could punch a poodle? "I'm not entirely sure I can marry a guy who looks like a poodle."
"I thought the wedding wasn't real," says the Alex that's actually employed. They'd needed an extra hand, and Kevin hadn't been aware that Alex was apparently a 1 for 3 deal, because first day of work, he'd brought two more Alexes with him.
"It's not," Mike says, "After all, Poodle over here has put very little effort into wining and dining me, and I'm just not that kind of guy."
Kevin wrinkles his nose, both at the nickname and because he thinks maybe that was an invitation to start trying. Or maybe a warning to never, ever try.
"Wait," says Alex Two, "does that mean that Kevin otherwise actually has a ch--"
"-- Alex, I just remembered you asked me to teach you how to make those chocolate muffins." Kevin interrupts loudly. Just because Mike doesn't look like he's about to punch Kevin now doesn't mean they should keep provoking him until he does.
"Really?" Alex Two's eyes are wide. Kevin's refused to let him near the kitchen for months, because he's seen Ian's photos on Facebook from the last time Alex Two was let loose in a kitchen, and sworn he'd never let that happen to his.
"Yes," Kevin says, "next Wednesday."
It's not until a couple of hours later when William finally decides it's finally closing time, even for friends, that Mike steps close, and says, "Smooth save earlier, Jonas."
By then Kevin's forgotten about that small part of the day and he's left staring after Mike, feeling more than a little confused.
At least no one laughs at him this time.
*
The next day he has a frightening amount of text and voice messages on his phone.
Joe and Nick's are pretty much the same: what the hell? and no seriously and is William giving you those brownies again? and, finally with a lot of laughter, Pete explained. Kevin wasn't even aware Pete knew, but then again, it's Pete so he probably knew what the article said before Kevin did.
Jonas, call me back and we'll discuss your stag night, is all Pete's message says, and then there's one from Gabe (how does Gabe even know his number?) talking about how the Cobra is displeased about keeping such joyous news secret, and I claim best man, like best man is just the wedding version of shotgun.
There's stuff from all of Kevin's friends, and some from people he thinks he's maybe only met once through William. There are a few from magazines who want an 'exclusive' on the wedding, and several from Lucas that mostly consist of Lucas laughing hysterically for a few seconds before hanging up.
Kevin actually answered the phone when his parents called, naïvely thinking that they wouldn't have heard. He spends the next hour listening to them both talk about how much he means to them, that he should've never been ashamed of being gay and that they're so happy he's found someone.
The guilt of it is enough to actually stop him from telling them the truth, especially when his dad eventually hangs up with a gruff, I'm proud of you, son.
Kevin's a horrible, horrible person. A horrible person who texts his brothers to tell them to not tell their parents about the whole 'William lied' thing.
Whatever. He and Mike can have an argument about wedding cake or something in a week and this whole thing will blow over.
It's not like Kevin's gonna see much of Mike until then anyway.
Except for how Mike apparently decides that Skeptics and Lovebugs is the best place to hang out now that his band are only playing local shows for a little while as they plan out their new album. William lasts two days before he cracks and tells Mike that Kevin's a huge fan. Mike only stares at Kevin over the deflated muffin Alex Two had gifted him with for free earlier and says, "You leak anything I say about the band to the forums, and I will break off our engagement publicly and loudly."
"It's not even real," Kevin can't help but protest and Mike just grins in a very scary (sexy) way and says, "Yeah, but they don't know that."
*
"We're flying down," Nick says, "A vacation for the whole family!"
"What?" Kevin says, "Wait, the whole family? As in, mom and dad and Frankie?"
"Everyone," Nick confirms, "Mom decided we just hadn't seen you in so long and, I quote here, 'we need to meet the man in Kev's life'. She even had Joe check the tour dates to make sure he'd be in Chicago as well. You should just suck it up and tell them the truth."
"You didn't hear them, Nick," Kevin says and squirms, "They actually sounded so proud and happy. I'll just -- I'll figure something out. When are you coming?"
"Two weeks, and don't worry, we're staying at a hotel. To respect your privacy." Nick laughs. "How's the cafe going?"
"Alex Two hasn't burned it down yet," Kevin says, which had been a real worry when he’d finally broken down and hired the rest of the Alexes, and Nick hums in response.
"If he ever does, you should call us," Nick says, "Joe and me had firefighter training today. It's gonna look so awesome when it airs."
When he hangs up and turns to look at Brendon, Brendon's got a doubtful face. "Meeting the parents?" He says, "Not to get me wrong, Mike is like scary awesome, but the keyword there is 'scary'. Not exactly parent meeting material, especially when it's not real. Jon Walker would back me up on this."
"I'll figure something out," Kevin says again, and doesn't mention that Jon would probably back Brendon up if he said the sky is just the ass of a really huge elephant.
*
Mike takes Kevin's plea for help remarkably well. Which is to say that when he asks if Mike wouldn't mind like, maybe, kind of pretending to be Kevin's fiancé for a week while his family is visiting, and that he knows he should've told them it was a lie but they'd been so happy and he hates disappointing them; all Mike does is stare at him for a long, slightly terrifying moment and then say, "Damnit kid, using those eyes is just playing dirty."
"Is that a yes?" Kevin asks hopefully.
"Yes," Mike glances over at where everyone is badly pretending not to be watching and trying to listen in. "So there's two weeks until they're here?"
"Yeah, they get in on the 27th," he says and Mike nods slowly.
"Alright, so any night you're not closing, we'll do something," Mike decides and at the look on Kevin's face, adds, "That a problem?"
"No," he says, the words practically tumbling from his mouth because god no, Kevin would kind of love hanging out with Mike an awful lot. "It's just -- if they're not here, why -- I mean, it's not -- you don't --"
"Relax, Poodle," Mike says, and pats Kevin on the back. "We're going to hang and get the act down, unless you want the entire thing to blow up in your face."
"No, that would be good," Kevin says, "I just didn't think of that."
He smirks at him. "So it's clear who the brains are in this relationship already."
The next two weeks are pretty much exactly what Kevin thinks being Mike's boyfriend would be like. There's actual effort from both of them -- or well, from Kevin at least. He's not so sure about Mike, but he likes to think that Mike doesn't just look that hot without planning it. They go to a couple of shows with the others, meeting up early to grab some coffee or a bite to eat before. They text each other at odd times about stupid shit and sometimes when Kevin's closing, Mike shows up to help.
It's after they've been to the gallery displaying Tom Conrad's photos that it happens. Mike's actually walking him home and they're talking about the Boondock Saints because one of Conrad's photographs had reminded Kevin of the movie and he couldn't help but mention it.
"God," Mike says, "you're just -- you just don't make any sense."
"Um?" Kevin says, because he's fairly certain that last sentence had probably been one of the more coherent ones he'd said all night. It had been about a photograph of rosaries hanging on a blank wall. Before he can say anything else though, Mike's spun him around and crowded him up against the side of Kevin's apartment building, hand flat and warm on his stomach, thumb stroking back and forth. His other thumb is tracing Kevin's jaw.
Kevin's eyes are a bit wider than usual and he can't help but lick his lips, eyes searching Mike's for some sort of a clue on what to do. Mike leans close and Kevin loses track of how long they kiss, but it's definitely not been for long enough when Mike steps back. He smirks and says, "See you tomorrow, Jonas."
Kevin stands for a moment watching as he walks away, and only stops by his apartment long enough to get Ninja before heading across the street to Brendon and Jon's apartment.
"I think I might be gay," Kevin tells Brendon half an hour later while they're on the couch watching a movie. Brendon nods slowly and smiles up at him, stroking Ninja who's fallen asleep nestled between Brendon and the back of the couch.
"That's good," he says and closes his eyes, head tilted back on Kevin's knee. "Considering you've actually been dating Mike for a week and a half now." He giggles. "It's kind of funny, actually."
"What is?" Kevin asks, because he might not be high like Brendon, but he's never had to smoke up to giggle at stupid shit before, and he'd kind of love a distraction.
"Mike loved that episode you were on," Brendon says, giggling, "He even taped it so that he could watch it again whenever, and he shouted at William because he'd never introduced you. Jon had ringside seats and told me all about it. I think this is like, Mike Carden's dream. You gave him, like, emotions and shit. It's hilarious."
Kevin's throat feels sort of dry and he thinks maybe his heart is trying to escape from his chest. It doesn't really make sense, that Mike would think that way about Kevin, especially after seeing him make a fool of himself in front of the entire nation on an episode of The Jonas Adventures.
He'd actually never understood why that episode became so popular. 40% of it is just Nick, Joe and him playing pranks on each other and freaking each other out while wearing wetsuits. They'd been investigating the various jobs of scuba divers and Kevin had touched a shark, which was pretty badass, but he'd also screamed like a girl when Joe had thrown seaweed on his head. The scenes were Kevin was just being himself far outweigh the scenes where he looks actually cool and badass.
"Yeah," he says, and then can't help but smile a little hopefully at the TV screen where Bolt is getting ever closer to Penny.
*
Gabe shows up at Kevin's doorstep an hour before his family is due to arrive. They'd insisted they didn't need Kevin to meet them at the airport, since they'd be staying at a hotel, and said a home cooked meal would be a more perfect setting for meeting Mike for the first time. Kevin's been panicking in the kitchen for two hours, and the last thing he needs is Gabe deciding that today is the best day to explain to Kevin why his purity ring is frowned upon by the Cobra.
"I have come to be worshipped as your awesome savior," Gabe says, "and also to lay proper and rightful claim to the title of best man."
Kevin frowns at him. "What are you talking about?"
"I have heard all about the little trick that is going to be going on for the next few days," Gabe explains, "and when I asked around, it became clear you required my assistance. The trouble with you, Jonas, is that you don't think of everything, but the Cobra does. The Cobra thinks of and knows all."
"Like what?" Kevin asks, hoping that encouraging him along will be faster than arguing.
"For example," Gabe grins, "the Cobra tells me you haven't thought of pictures. After all, it's usual for couples to have some pictures of them doing couple-y things to display to guests. Well, let that be a problem no longer!" He produces from what looks suspiciously like William's messenger bag three picture frames. Kevin takes them and then can't help but stare.
The first one is of Mike and Kevin at Skeptics and Lovebugs, with Kevin leaning towards Mike on his elbows as they talk, fingers just brushing Mike's sleeve. The second is of them at a party Pete had been holding, right after Mike had sat down on the couch next to Kevin, his hand on Kevin's thigh. The third has them holding hands from when Mike was dragging Kevin away from a pet store that four adorable kittens in the display.
"That's actually really thoughtful," Kevin says, "and also creepy. How did you get these?"
"Ryland gets easily bored sometimes," Gabe says, "and it didn't hurt that we could get some laughs out of it. Now, a final gift before I leave you to marvel at my genius: a final touch. That little purity ring of yours is fine, except you're engaged now. Mike should've marked his man, and since you're both too pussy right now to do it the proper way, these will have to do." He places two rings in Kevin's palm.
Kevin slips one on and is surprised to find that it's a perfect fit. "I really don't know if this is nice of you or if I should call the policee," he says, and Gabe grins at him with all his teeth.
"Say the magic words and you won't have to define it at all." Gabe says and he adjusts his hat before spreading his arms, holding them up as he waits.
Kevin only hesitates for a few moments. Even in a hypothetical situation, he wouldn't normally do this, but really, Gabe's little 'gifts' might actually help a lot. Kevin feels like maybe he owes him this much. "Fine. You can be best man."
Gabe gathers him in for a hug and a quick grope. Kevin uses the pictures as a small and pretty much useless shield, but Gabe steps back relatively quick. For Gabe. He keeps backing up down the hallway. "Now don't forget, Jonas, that when presenting your beloved with a ring, you go down on one knee and for this you don’t put his co--"
"Bye Gabe," Kevin says and closes the door to the faint sound of Gabe laughing as he walks down the stairs. He looks again at the pictures and thinks, I wish they were real -- which they technically are, just not real real. He places them around the apartment and goes to stir the sauce.
He puts Mike's ring in his pocket.
*
Kevin plans it out very carefully, deciding that actually going down on one knee and asking Mike to fake-marry him will earn him a laugh from Mike and hopefully get rid of some awkwardness. But by the time Mike gets there, he's forgotten about the ring in favor of quietly freaking out while Mike actually sets the table and makes sure Kevin doesn't, like, kill himself with the bread knife or something. He doesn't remember until the doorbell rings and it's as he's walking towards the door that he suddenly remembers. "Coming!" He shouts to where Joe, no doubt, is trying to open the door but is prevented from actually opening the door by the chain. He turns to Mike and places the ring in his palm.
Mike raises an eyebrow at him, lifts the ring up to the light and says, "Why are we Cobra approved?"
"What?" Kevin says, takes off his own ring to look. The inscription reads KJ+MC=COBRA APPROVED. "Oh. Oh, Gabe gave them to me."
Mike slips the ring onto his finger and his eyes are definitely laughing, even though his mouth has an indifferent curve to it. "The ring is a good idea, but for future reference, Jonas, you ask a guy to fake-marry you, you should still have more of a gesture than slapping the ring in their palm."
"Just because we can't actually see doesn't mean we don't know that you're making out," Nick shouts, quickly followed by Kevin's mother going, "Nick!" and Frankie’s loud exclamation of “ewww!”
"I had a plan," Kevin says, "where I'd go down on one knee and everything. I just forgot." Before Mike can reply though, he opens the door and lets his family spill into the apartment.
Kevin's mom absolutely loves Mike. "He's such a nice boy," she tells Kevin while she's helping him wash up despite his insistence that really, they could just leave it until later. Mike's squeezed on the couch with Kevin’s brothers, and his dad on a kitchen stool. They're not really talking and Kevin thinks they can probably hear every word his mother is saying. "I must say it wasn't my first impression seeing him, but I've never judged a book by its cover and I won't start now."
Kevin thinks that if his mother had thought Mike was just a friend and not Kevin's fiancé, she'd have cautiously brought up the possibility that Mike is a bad influence. But she's making an effort to accept Mike as he is, even though he cursed during dinner when he accidentally knocked Kevin's glass over. "It's obvious he loves you," she says and dries her hands on the dishtowel before moving into the living room, leaving Kevin to dry the dishes.
Kevin's stomach hurts with guilt. A hand on his lower back startles him out of his thoughts, and he realizes with a bang he's been drying the last dish for three minutes. "I think it's probably dry by now," Mike says, lips moving against Kevin's neck.
He shivers and turns around in Mike's grip. "They can't see us."
Mike laughs, "I know, Jonas. It's a definite plus."
He's not entirely sure what to make of that, but he arches up into the kiss anyway.
*
The visit goes surprisingly well and by the time Mike and Kevin drive them back to the airport, Kevin's mother has absolutely no qualms about gathering Mike into a big hug. "You're welcome at our home anytime," she tells him, "Maybe ask your parents how they feel about a big Thanksgiving dinner. I would love to meet them."
"I'll ask them," Mike says and sends Kevin a look that probably means 'and just exactly how are you going to get out of this one?' Kevin's dad steps forward and leads Mike a little away from the others, one hand on Mike's shoulder as he talks.
"It's funny," Joe says from where he's standing next to Kevin and Nick. "I think mom's actually crossed the street once to avoid a guy like Mike, and here she is hugging him and inviting him to Thanksgiving dinner."
"He's a good guy," Kevin says.
"No shit, Sherlock," Joe laughs, "Mike's awesome and normally I'd say he's way out of your league, but the dude is so obviously head over heels for you it's like a perfect match."
"It's not real, though," Kevin whispers and Joe gives him a pitying look.
"You're an idiot," Nick says, "No guy would agree to meet your parents unless they're seriously in love with you. The fact that you think so makes me wonder just how much you know about human interaction."
"Of course Nick here is an expert at that," Joe says, "I mean, who gives better advice on relationships than a guy who tells his girlfriend she could do to eat a little less junk food?"
"The bills were getting insane!" Nick protests and Kevin laughs. He's missed his brothers.
"But seriously," Joe says, "I hate to say Nick is right about anything, but he's right about this. Dude is crazy about you. You just got together in a fucked up way."
"Ready to go, boys?" Kevin's dad asks and there's another quick exchange of hugs between everyone before they actually leave.
As they're walking out, Mike says, "Does your dad own a shotgun, by any chance?"
"No, why? What did he say?"
"Oh," Mike shrugs, "No real reason."
*
"Hi!" Lucas is pretty much the last person Kevin expects to find on his doorstep at six in the morning, since Lucas rarely gets out of bed before eleven at the earliest and he usually doesn't show up anywhere at all when he's recording. "Can I come in?"
"Actually, I'm on my way out."
"Oh, don't worry about that, I called the Alexes. They're in full control and working extra for free, it's cool." Lucas pushes past Kevin into the apartment and then drags him by his wrist towards the couch.
"Has something happened?" Kevin frowns, "You and Corbin haven't broken up again, have you? Because I hate to tell your ego this, but I stopped viewing that as an emergency around the fifth time it happened."
"Corbin and I have never been happier," Lucas says, "Can't a guy hang out with his friend at ungodly hours of the morning without anything being wrong?"
"No," Kevin says, "not when it's you and especially not when I have work."
"I already told you, I've fixed the work problem. What should we watch? Clueless? I've been having a craving for some Paul Rudd lately."
"Lucas," Kevin's honestly freaking out here. He's never seen Lucas act like this. "What's happened?"
"So you know how I love reading the gossip sites, right," Lucas says and normally when he talks about ONTD or Perez or whatever, he's excited and laughing, but now he just looks sad. "Because what's funnier than celebrity scandal? So there I was, mindlessly refreshing the page, and then this picture comes up."
"What picture?" Kevin asks when it becomes clear Lucas isn't actually planning on adding anything else to it.
"It was of Mike...and a girl. Kissing. Now I know better than to believe everything they post, so I reasoned that surely it was just an old picture that someone was dragging up now to be an asshole, but the second picture had a date stamp and it's from last week and I'm really, really sorry, Kev."
Kevin blinks at Lucas for few moments, sinking into the couch and says, "Yeah, Clueless sounds good."
By the time Brendon and Jon shows up, William's already been there for three hours and they've moved on to Gilmore Girls, and Kevin's being allowed to rant about the uselessness of Jared Padalecki's character. They don't say anything as Lucas lets them into the apartment, just squeeze down on the couch with Kevin. Brendon wraps his arms around him and Jon says, "Gilmore Girls, awesome. Lorelai kicks serious ass."
*
Kevin decides to go into work the next day, despite the fact that Lucas and the others haven't left yet. It's stupid to sit and feel sorry for himself when it's clear that the relationship wasn't real. Mike was just being a good friend and his brothers were wrong. It's not Mike's fault Kevin is an idiot who thought there was actually something more there.
"No one would think less of you if you stay to finish season one of Gilmore Girls," Lucas says and Brendon nods solemnly.
"Mike's not even in Chicago," Kevin says, "I'm not having Skeptics and Lovebugs burn down just because I'm a loser."
The thing is, Mike's doing a quick UK tour and Kevin knows he won't actually have to face him until next week. He's totally prepared to put in enough practice at everything being okay so that by the time Mike does come back, he can actually be convincing. What he isn't prepared for is to come home to an e-mail from Greta with the subject title, 'boys are stupid'.
The content of the e-mail is just a photo of Mike's hand, where the ring is plainly visible, and part of Mike's face, asleep. he never takes it off, Greta's written, give him a chance to explain when he calls.
Mike calls while Kevin is going through receipts the next day. "The thing with pictures," he says, before Kevin's said anything, "is that they never fucking show what happens after they're taken."
"What happened after it was taken?" Kevin asks and he can see the Alexes looking at him oddly.
"I told her I was engaged," Mike says and laughs a little, "See, there's this guy I know who asked if I'd mind pretending to be fake engaged to him while his parents were visiting, but I actually wanted it to be real. Except then this girl just fucking went for it and she could cling. By the time I'd pushed her away, those photos had already been taken and now I'm thinking fuck, chances are probably totally ruined with this guy. He must hate me.."
"No," Kevin says, "Not totally ruined."
"Come to London."
There's a lot of reasons why he shouldn't, starting and ending with Skeptics and Lovebugs, but Kevin still says, "Okay."
-end-
Author: Janne (bergann)
Pairing: Mike Carden/Kevin Jonas (small mentions of other pairings)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5 906
Summary: The Jonas family is well known for their purity rings and religious views, and it's good to see that it hasn't prevented Kevin from denying who he is. This magazine is behind you 100%, Kevin Jonas, and wish you and Mike Carden a happy marriage!
Author's Note: This is for black_trillium, because if it wasn't for her, this never would've been finished. Also, yes, that is a shoutout to skoosiepants in there, which I thought only fitting since if it wasn't for her, I never would've written this.
There's also amazing art by akire_yta, which you should check out here.
Demi's smile reminds Kevin a lot of the shark from Finding Nemo - which, granted, hadn't actually eaten Marlin or Dory, but it had been a close call and really, Kevin would love a little bit of sea grass or something to hide in.
"Come on, Kev, just two hours at a fancy restaurant," Demi says and bats her eyelashes. Probably in Morse code for 'where you'll make a delicious stew'. Kevin really hates Joe and Nick for putting him in this situation.
"Um, no." He says and starts looking through the day's receipts in sincere hope she'll get the hint and go away. "I have plans."
"Plans? What sort of plans could possibly be more important than me?" Demi's probably still smiling. Kevin refuses to check, because he's already going to have nightmares about that smile. No need to give his subconscious extra details.
"Usually Kev here is not so grumpy," William says, suddenly there right next to her and Kevin can't help but take some pleasure out of the fact that she squeaks in surprise. "But his husband's prolonged absence just makes him a little snappy."
"Husband?" Demi asks, eyebrow raised and smile so, so predatory. Kevin stares at William with big eyes and prays that William will read his mind and laugh it off.
"Oh my God," William says and then he laughs like there is nothing more hilarious than the situation at hand, "You don't know about Mike?"
"No," Demi says and then turns her attention back to Kevin. "You're married, Jonas?"
Kevin doesn't know what he did to deserve this, unless he like...kicks puppies in his sleep or something. He makes a noise in his throat and pretends to smile. He's not entirely sure he trusts himself to speak without also throttling William. It would be bad for business if Kevin kills him.
"Well not yet, of course," William says, ruffling Kevin's hair like he's some sort of dog. Kevin swats his hand away, and William adjusts easily, putting his arm around Demi to lead her out the door as he continues, "They're only engaged, but you look at them and it just becomes so apparent that they love each other, you know? Carden and Kev are just one of those couples that just makes you believe in that fairytale ending, even when they're arguing about wedding plans. It's adorable, and there's so much more to tell, but sadly we're closed. Goodbye!"
The moment the door closes behind Demi, Kevin drops his head against the desk. "You just -- you --"
"No need to thank me!" William says cheerfully and ruffles his hair again once he's within range. It's extremely possible William has this weird fixation with Kevin's hair, but it's something Kevin's learned to accept and ignore over the three years they've known each other. "Who was she, anyway?"
"A reporter doing an article on Joe and Nick," Kevin says and every word kind of makes him want to cry a little more, "who wanted a look at the life of the 'lesser known brother who raised them'."
There's not a lot of comfort to find in William's face when Kevin dares a peek. "Oops. My mistake."
"I hate you," Kevin says and he's completely serious about it this time, but it's ruined somewhat by the fact that William starts laughing, for real this time.
*
The Jonas brothers have gotten a lot of attention lately, after the Jonas Adventures signed on with a newer, bigger network. Everywhere you look there seems to be a Jonas face staring right back at you. But while the public continues to demand more and more of Nick and Joe, there's one Jonas brother that's gone forgotten.
Kevin Jonas' appearance on the Jonas Adventures is said by many to be the reason the show suddenly soared to new heights. He appeared from seemingly nowhere to capture the hearts of us all, only to retreat right back to the shadows, leaving fans screaming for more.
Will we be seeing Kevin again on The Jonas Adventures any time soon?
Nick: We don't have any plans to have Kevin on again right now. Joe and I would love it, but Kevin's pretty private so life in front of the camera is not really his style. It was great fun having him on for that one episode though. He's pretty awesome.
Does he ever call you up to comment on an episode?
Joe: Oh yeah, we're usually on the phone while he's watching. It's something we've been doing since he went off to university and we were doing our web series. Kev's always been really supportive. He was actually the one to give us the camera we filmed our web series with for Christmas, and he followed us around filming whenever he was home while we acted like idiots. He didn't even ruin that many takes by laughing.
So it seems agreed that Kevin Jonas is a great brother and adorable to boot. But who is he exactly?
Well, he's 24, has a degree in business management and is the owner of a trendy cafe in Chicago called Skeptics and Lovebugs, along with author William Beckett. His apartment is allegedly tiny and his dog is a black Parson Russell terrier mix named Ninja.
"It's not that I dislike being interviewed," Kevin said after a round of questions went unanswered during a rather impromptu interview at Skeptics and Lovebugs, "It's just...my life is just like everyone else's. I mean, I own this place and my brothers entertain the nation every Monday, but other than that it's not like my life is a thrilling tale of adventure."
Not so, according to a close friend of Kevin, who informed me that Kevin is in the middle of planning his own wedding to Mike.
It's so obvious how much Kevin and Carden love each other, the friend said as Kevin smiled in the background, even when they're arguing about wedding plans, it makes you believe in that happy fairytale ending.
The Jonas family is well known for their purity rings and religious views, and it's good to see that it hasn't prevented Kevin from denying who he is. This magazine is behind you 100%, Kevin Jonas, and wish you and Mike Carden a happy marriage!
*
"This is the best thing ever," Lucas says and he's got actual tears in his eyes from laughing, "I didn't think today could get any better after the morning sex and that chocolate muffin, but this - this is like ten years worth of Christmas present rolled into one."
"I'm not even gay," Kevin says and scowls when this just makes Lucas laugh harder.
"Oh god, stop it," Lucas says, "This is just too much."
Corbin frowns, or at least tries to, but he's still shaking slightly. Kevin has terrible friends who'd probably be too busy laughing to save him from a burning building. "How did this even happen?"
"William is how this happened, how else?" Kevin looks again at the article and groans.
"You know what my favorite part is?" Lucas asks once he's got his breathing back a little, "It's totally how she wrote the entire thing in a way that pretty much implies you'd be the biggest douche on the planet if you suddenly admitted it was a lie you didn't stop from hitting the press."
"How was I supposed to know it was going to turn into a huge article?" Kevin asks, "Or that she would take William seriously for that matter?"
"You're going to look like an asshole," Lucas cackles and William claps his hand over Lucas' mouth.
"What young Mr. Grabeel is trying to say here," William says, "is that it was an honest mistake and that -- that girl did not look old enough to be a reporter, let alone for a big magazine."
"I think what we should be most worried about here," Brendon says and his voice is surprisingly serious, although he's saying it from where he fell laughing on the floor, so the effect is kind of ruined anyway, "is: what is Mike going to say?"
*
"Would anyone care to explain how I got engaged to a Jonas brother overnight without even having the benefit of being drunk in Vegas?" Mike throws the door open, something Kevin would normally protest at, but the words die on his tongue. "I didn't even know any of them were legal."
"Mike Carden!" William purrs, throwing his arms wide and coming out from behind the counter to wrap them around Mike, "What a pleasure, what a thrill. You are a rare sight indeed. How was the land of the kangaroos?"
"Save the pleasantries, Beckett, and show me this fiancé you apparently got me."
"Ah," William smiles wide and gestures towards where Kevin currently having some difficulty actually moving. "Mike Carden, meet the love of your life. Kev, this is our very own ray of sunshine."
See, Kevin's never actually met Mike before, but he knows who Mike is - especially since Mike is the guitarist in Kevin's favorite band, something which William has found constant delight in ever since he found out. But they've never actually been introduced.
This is definitely not how he expected their first meeting to go, not that Kevin has thought about it that much or anything. He just always thought Mike would maybe be smiling a little, and well, right now he looks sort of like he wants to punch Kevin in the face. Kevin widens his stance a little and prepares himself for the worst.
"You look like a poodle," Mike says which Kevin has to admit is a really weird thing to say before punching someone. Who could punch a poodle? "I'm not entirely sure I can marry a guy who looks like a poodle."
"I thought the wedding wasn't real," says the Alex that's actually employed. They'd needed an extra hand, and Kevin hadn't been aware that Alex was apparently a 1 for 3 deal, because first day of work, he'd brought two more Alexes with him.
"It's not," Mike says, "After all, Poodle over here has put very little effort into wining and dining me, and I'm just not that kind of guy."
Kevin wrinkles his nose, both at the nickname and because he thinks maybe that was an invitation to start trying. Or maybe a warning to never, ever try.
"Wait," says Alex Two, "does that mean that Kevin otherwise actually has a ch--"
"-- Alex, I just remembered you asked me to teach you how to make those chocolate muffins." Kevin interrupts loudly. Just because Mike doesn't look like he's about to punch Kevin now doesn't mean they should keep provoking him until he does.
"Really?" Alex Two's eyes are wide. Kevin's refused to let him near the kitchen for months, because he's seen Ian's photos on Facebook from the last time Alex Two was let loose in a kitchen, and sworn he'd never let that happen to his.
"Yes," Kevin says, "next Wednesday."
It's not until a couple of hours later when William finally decides it's finally closing time, even for friends, that Mike steps close, and says, "Smooth save earlier, Jonas."
By then Kevin's forgotten about that small part of the day and he's left staring after Mike, feeling more than a little confused.
At least no one laughs at him this time.
*
The next day he has a frightening amount of text and voice messages on his phone.
Joe and Nick's are pretty much the same: what the hell? and no seriously and is William giving you those brownies again? and, finally with a lot of laughter, Pete explained. Kevin wasn't even aware Pete knew, but then again, it's Pete so he probably knew what the article said before Kevin did.
Jonas, call me back and we'll discuss your stag night, is all Pete's message says, and then there's one from Gabe (how does Gabe even know his number?) talking about how the Cobra is displeased about keeping such joyous news secret, and I claim best man, like best man is just the wedding version of shotgun.
There's stuff from all of Kevin's friends, and some from people he thinks he's maybe only met once through William. There are a few from magazines who want an 'exclusive' on the wedding, and several from Lucas that mostly consist of Lucas laughing hysterically for a few seconds before hanging up.
Kevin actually answered the phone when his parents called, naïvely thinking that they wouldn't have heard. He spends the next hour listening to them both talk about how much he means to them, that he should've never been ashamed of being gay and that they're so happy he's found someone.
The guilt of it is enough to actually stop him from telling them the truth, especially when his dad eventually hangs up with a gruff, I'm proud of you, son.
Kevin's a horrible, horrible person. A horrible person who texts his brothers to tell them to not tell their parents about the whole 'William lied' thing.
Whatever. He and Mike can have an argument about wedding cake or something in a week and this whole thing will blow over.
It's not like Kevin's gonna see much of Mike until then anyway.
Except for how Mike apparently decides that Skeptics and Lovebugs is the best place to hang out now that his band are only playing local shows for a little while as they plan out their new album. William lasts two days before he cracks and tells Mike that Kevin's a huge fan. Mike only stares at Kevin over the deflated muffin Alex Two had gifted him with for free earlier and says, "You leak anything I say about the band to the forums, and I will break off our engagement publicly and loudly."
"It's not even real," Kevin can't help but protest and Mike just grins in a very scary (sexy) way and says, "Yeah, but they don't know that."
*
"We're flying down," Nick says, "A vacation for the whole family!"
"What?" Kevin says, "Wait, the whole family? As in, mom and dad and Frankie?"
"Everyone," Nick confirms, "Mom decided we just hadn't seen you in so long and, I quote here, 'we need to meet the man in Kev's life'. She even had Joe check the tour dates to make sure he'd be in Chicago as well. You should just suck it up and tell them the truth."
"You didn't hear them, Nick," Kevin says and squirms, "They actually sounded so proud and happy. I'll just -- I'll figure something out. When are you coming?"
"Two weeks, and don't worry, we're staying at a hotel. To respect your privacy." Nick laughs. "How's the cafe going?"
"Alex Two hasn't burned it down yet," Kevin says, which had been a real worry when he’d finally broken down and hired the rest of the Alexes, and Nick hums in response.
"If he ever does, you should call us," Nick says, "Joe and me had firefighter training today. It's gonna look so awesome when it airs."
When he hangs up and turns to look at Brendon, Brendon's got a doubtful face. "Meeting the parents?" He says, "Not to get me wrong, Mike is like scary awesome, but the keyword there is 'scary'. Not exactly parent meeting material, especially when it's not real. Jon Walker would back me up on this."
"I'll figure something out," Kevin says again, and doesn't mention that Jon would probably back Brendon up if he said the sky is just the ass of a really huge elephant.
*
Mike takes Kevin's plea for help remarkably well. Which is to say that when he asks if Mike wouldn't mind like, maybe, kind of pretending to be Kevin's fiancé for a week while his family is visiting, and that he knows he should've told them it was a lie but they'd been so happy and he hates disappointing them; all Mike does is stare at him for a long, slightly terrifying moment and then say, "Damnit kid, using those eyes is just playing dirty."
"Is that a yes?" Kevin asks hopefully.
"Yes," Mike glances over at where everyone is badly pretending not to be watching and trying to listen in. "So there's two weeks until they're here?"
"Yeah, they get in on the 27th," he says and Mike nods slowly.
"Alright, so any night you're not closing, we'll do something," Mike decides and at the look on Kevin's face, adds, "That a problem?"
"No," he says, the words practically tumbling from his mouth because god no, Kevin would kind of love hanging out with Mike an awful lot. "It's just -- if they're not here, why -- I mean, it's not -- you don't --"
"Relax, Poodle," Mike says, and pats Kevin on the back. "We're going to hang and get the act down, unless you want the entire thing to blow up in your face."
"No, that would be good," Kevin says, "I just didn't think of that."
He smirks at him. "So it's clear who the brains are in this relationship already."
The next two weeks are pretty much exactly what Kevin thinks being Mike's boyfriend would be like. There's actual effort from both of them -- or well, from Kevin at least. He's not so sure about Mike, but he likes to think that Mike doesn't just look that hot without planning it. They go to a couple of shows with the others, meeting up early to grab some coffee or a bite to eat before. They text each other at odd times about stupid shit and sometimes when Kevin's closing, Mike shows up to help.
It's after they've been to the gallery displaying Tom Conrad's photos that it happens. Mike's actually walking him home and they're talking about the Boondock Saints because one of Conrad's photographs had reminded Kevin of the movie and he couldn't help but mention it.
"God," Mike says, "you're just -- you just don't make any sense."
"Um?" Kevin says, because he's fairly certain that last sentence had probably been one of the more coherent ones he'd said all night. It had been about a photograph of rosaries hanging on a blank wall. Before he can say anything else though, Mike's spun him around and crowded him up against the side of Kevin's apartment building, hand flat and warm on his stomach, thumb stroking back and forth. His other thumb is tracing Kevin's jaw.
Kevin's eyes are a bit wider than usual and he can't help but lick his lips, eyes searching Mike's for some sort of a clue on what to do. Mike leans close and Kevin loses track of how long they kiss, but it's definitely not been for long enough when Mike steps back. He smirks and says, "See you tomorrow, Jonas."
Kevin stands for a moment watching as he walks away, and only stops by his apartment long enough to get Ninja before heading across the street to Brendon and Jon's apartment.
"I think I might be gay," Kevin tells Brendon half an hour later while they're on the couch watching a movie. Brendon nods slowly and smiles up at him, stroking Ninja who's fallen asleep nestled between Brendon and the back of the couch.
"That's good," he says and closes his eyes, head tilted back on Kevin's knee. "Considering you've actually been dating Mike for a week and a half now." He giggles. "It's kind of funny, actually."
"What is?" Kevin asks, because he might not be high like Brendon, but he's never had to smoke up to giggle at stupid shit before, and he'd kind of love a distraction.
"Mike loved that episode you were on," Brendon says, giggling, "He even taped it so that he could watch it again whenever, and he shouted at William because he'd never introduced you. Jon had ringside seats and told me all about it. I think this is like, Mike Carden's dream. You gave him, like, emotions and shit. It's hilarious."
Kevin's throat feels sort of dry and he thinks maybe his heart is trying to escape from his chest. It doesn't really make sense, that Mike would think that way about Kevin, especially after seeing him make a fool of himself in front of the entire nation on an episode of The Jonas Adventures.
He'd actually never understood why that episode became so popular. 40% of it is just Nick, Joe and him playing pranks on each other and freaking each other out while wearing wetsuits. They'd been investigating the various jobs of scuba divers and Kevin had touched a shark, which was pretty badass, but he'd also screamed like a girl when Joe had thrown seaweed on his head. The scenes were Kevin was just being himself far outweigh the scenes where he looks actually cool and badass.
"Yeah," he says, and then can't help but smile a little hopefully at the TV screen where Bolt is getting ever closer to Penny.
*
Gabe shows up at Kevin's doorstep an hour before his family is due to arrive. They'd insisted they didn't need Kevin to meet them at the airport, since they'd be staying at a hotel, and said a home cooked meal would be a more perfect setting for meeting Mike for the first time. Kevin's been panicking in the kitchen for two hours, and the last thing he needs is Gabe deciding that today is the best day to explain to Kevin why his purity ring is frowned upon by the Cobra.
"I have come to be worshipped as your awesome savior," Gabe says, "and also to lay proper and rightful claim to the title of best man."
Kevin frowns at him. "What are you talking about?"
"I have heard all about the little trick that is going to be going on for the next few days," Gabe explains, "and when I asked around, it became clear you required my assistance. The trouble with you, Jonas, is that you don't think of everything, but the Cobra does. The Cobra thinks of and knows all."
"Like what?" Kevin asks, hoping that encouraging him along will be faster than arguing.
"For example," Gabe grins, "the Cobra tells me you haven't thought of pictures. After all, it's usual for couples to have some pictures of them doing couple-y things to display to guests. Well, let that be a problem no longer!" He produces from what looks suspiciously like William's messenger bag three picture frames. Kevin takes them and then can't help but stare.
The first one is of Mike and Kevin at Skeptics and Lovebugs, with Kevin leaning towards Mike on his elbows as they talk, fingers just brushing Mike's sleeve. The second is of them at a party Pete had been holding, right after Mike had sat down on the couch next to Kevin, his hand on Kevin's thigh. The third has them holding hands from when Mike was dragging Kevin away from a pet store that four adorable kittens in the display.
"That's actually really thoughtful," Kevin says, "and also creepy. How did you get these?"
"Ryland gets easily bored sometimes," Gabe says, "and it didn't hurt that we could get some laughs out of it. Now, a final gift before I leave you to marvel at my genius: a final touch. That little purity ring of yours is fine, except you're engaged now. Mike should've marked his man, and since you're both too pussy right now to do it the proper way, these will have to do." He places two rings in Kevin's palm.
Kevin slips one on and is surprised to find that it's a perfect fit. "I really don't know if this is nice of you or if I should call the policee," he says, and Gabe grins at him with all his teeth.
"Say the magic words and you won't have to define it at all." Gabe says and he adjusts his hat before spreading his arms, holding them up as he waits.
Kevin only hesitates for a few moments. Even in a hypothetical situation, he wouldn't normally do this, but really, Gabe's little 'gifts' might actually help a lot. Kevin feels like maybe he owes him this much. "Fine. You can be best man."
Gabe gathers him in for a hug and a quick grope. Kevin uses the pictures as a small and pretty much useless shield, but Gabe steps back relatively quick. For Gabe. He keeps backing up down the hallway. "Now don't forget, Jonas, that when presenting your beloved with a ring, you go down on one knee and for this you don’t put his co--"
"Bye Gabe," Kevin says and closes the door to the faint sound of Gabe laughing as he walks down the stairs. He looks again at the pictures and thinks, I wish they were real -- which they technically are, just not real real. He places them around the apartment and goes to stir the sauce.
He puts Mike's ring in his pocket.
*
Kevin plans it out very carefully, deciding that actually going down on one knee and asking Mike to fake-marry him will earn him a laugh from Mike and hopefully get rid of some awkwardness. But by the time Mike gets there, he's forgotten about the ring in favor of quietly freaking out while Mike actually sets the table and makes sure Kevin doesn't, like, kill himself with the bread knife or something. He doesn't remember until the doorbell rings and it's as he's walking towards the door that he suddenly remembers. "Coming!" He shouts to where Joe, no doubt, is trying to open the door but is prevented from actually opening the door by the chain. He turns to Mike and places the ring in his palm.
Mike raises an eyebrow at him, lifts the ring up to the light and says, "Why are we Cobra approved?"
"What?" Kevin says, takes off his own ring to look. The inscription reads KJ+MC=COBRA APPROVED. "Oh. Oh, Gabe gave them to me."
Mike slips the ring onto his finger and his eyes are definitely laughing, even though his mouth has an indifferent curve to it. "The ring is a good idea, but for future reference, Jonas, you ask a guy to fake-marry you, you should still have more of a gesture than slapping the ring in their palm."
"Just because we can't actually see doesn't mean we don't know that you're making out," Nick shouts, quickly followed by Kevin's mother going, "Nick!" and Frankie’s loud exclamation of “ewww!”
"I had a plan," Kevin says, "where I'd go down on one knee and everything. I just forgot." Before Mike can reply though, he opens the door and lets his family spill into the apartment.
Kevin's mom absolutely loves Mike. "He's such a nice boy," she tells Kevin while she's helping him wash up despite his insistence that really, they could just leave it until later. Mike's squeezed on the couch with Kevin’s brothers, and his dad on a kitchen stool. They're not really talking and Kevin thinks they can probably hear every word his mother is saying. "I must say it wasn't my first impression seeing him, but I've never judged a book by its cover and I won't start now."
Kevin thinks that if his mother had thought Mike was just a friend and not Kevin's fiancé, she'd have cautiously brought up the possibility that Mike is a bad influence. But she's making an effort to accept Mike as he is, even though he cursed during dinner when he accidentally knocked Kevin's glass over. "It's obvious he loves you," she says and dries her hands on the dishtowel before moving into the living room, leaving Kevin to dry the dishes.
Kevin's stomach hurts with guilt. A hand on his lower back startles him out of his thoughts, and he realizes with a bang he's been drying the last dish for three minutes. "I think it's probably dry by now," Mike says, lips moving against Kevin's neck.
He shivers and turns around in Mike's grip. "They can't see us."
Mike laughs, "I know, Jonas. It's a definite plus."
He's not entirely sure what to make of that, but he arches up into the kiss anyway.
*
The visit goes surprisingly well and by the time Mike and Kevin drive them back to the airport, Kevin's mother has absolutely no qualms about gathering Mike into a big hug. "You're welcome at our home anytime," she tells him, "Maybe ask your parents how they feel about a big Thanksgiving dinner. I would love to meet them."
"I'll ask them," Mike says and sends Kevin a look that probably means 'and just exactly how are you going to get out of this one?' Kevin's dad steps forward and leads Mike a little away from the others, one hand on Mike's shoulder as he talks.
"It's funny," Joe says from where he's standing next to Kevin and Nick. "I think mom's actually crossed the street once to avoid a guy like Mike, and here she is hugging him and inviting him to Thanksgiving dinner."
"He's a good guy," Kevin says.
"No shit, Sherlock," Joe laughs, "Mike's awesome and normally I'd say he's way out of your league, but the dude is so obviously head over heels for you it's like a perfect match."
"It's not real, though," Kevin whispers and Joe gives him a pitying look.
"You're an idiot," Nick says, "No guy would agree to meet your parents unless they're seriously in love with you. The fact that you think so makes me wonder just how much you know about human interaction."
"Of course Nick here is an expert at that," Joe says, "I mean, who gives better advice on relationships than a guy who tells his girlfriend she could do to eat a little less junk food?"
"The bills were getting insane!" Nick protests and Kevin laughs. He's missed his brothers.
"But seriously," Joe says, "I hate to say Nick is right about anything, but he's right about this. Dude is crazy about you. You just got together in a fucked up way."
"Ready to go, boys?" Kevin's dad asks and there's another quick exchange of hugs between everyone before they actually leave.
As they're walking out, Mike says, "Does your dad own a shotgun, by any chance?"
"No, why? What did he say?"
"Oh," Mike shrugs, "No real reason."
*
"Hi!" Lucas is pretty much the last person Kevin expects to find on his doorstep at six in the morning, since Lucas rarely gets out of bed before eleven at the earliest and he usually doesn't show up anywhere at all when he's recording. "Can I come in?"
"Actually, I'm on my way out."
"Oh, don't worry about that, I called the Alexes. They're in full control and working extra for free, it's cool." Lucas pushes past Kevin into the apartment and then drags him by his wrist towards the couch.
"Has something happened?" Kevin frowns, "You and Corbin haven't broken up again, have you? Because I hate to tell your ego this, but I stopped viewing that as an emergency around the fifth time it happened."
"Corbin and I have never been happier," Lucas says, "Can't a guy hang out with his friend at ungodly hours of the morning without anything being wrong?"
"No," Kevin says, "not when it's you and especially not when I have work."
"I already told you, I've fixed the work problem. What should we watch? Clueless? I've been having a craving for some Paul Rudd lately."
"Lucas," Kevin's honestly freaking out here. He's never seen Lucas act like this. "What's happened?"
"So you know how I love reading the gossip sites, right," Lucas says and normally when he talks about ONTD or Perez or whatever, he's excited and laughing, but now he just looks sad. "Because what's funnier than celebrity scandal? So there I was, mindlessly refreshing the page, and then this picture comes up."
"What picture?" Kevin asks when it becomes clear Lucas isn't actually planning on adding anything else to it.
"It was of Mike...and a girl. Kissing. Now I know better than to believe everything they post, so I reasoned that surely it was just an old picture that someone was dragging up now to be an asshole, but the second picture had a date stamp and it's from last week and I'm really, really sorry, Kev."
Kevin blinks at Lucas for few moments, sinking into the couch and says, "Yeah, Clueless sounds good."
By the time Brendon and Jon shows up, William's already been there for three hours and they've moved on to Gilmore Girls, and Kevin's being allowed to rant about the uselessness of Jared Padalecki's character. They don't say anything as Lucas lets them into the apartment, just squeeze down on the couch with Kevin. Brendon wraps his arms around him and Jon says, "Gilmore Girls, awesome. Lorelai kicks serious ass."
*
Kevin decides to go into work the next day, despite the fact that Lucas and the others haven't left yet. It's stupid to sit and feel sorry for himself when it's clear that the relationship wasn't real. Mike was just being a good friend and his brothers were wrong. It's not Mike's fault Kevin is an idiot who thought there was actually something more there.
"No one would think less of you if you stay to finish season one of Gilmore Girls," Lucas says and Brendon nods solemnly.
"Mike's not even in Chicago," Kevin says, "I'm not having Skeptics and Lovebugs burn down just because I'm a loser."
The thing is, Mike's doing a quick UK tour and Kevin knows he won't actually have to face him until next week. He's totally prepared to put in enough practice at everything being okay so that by the time Mike does come back, he can actually be convincing. What he isn't prepared for is to come home to an e-mail from Greta with the subject title, 'boys are stupid'.
The content of the e-mail is just a photo of Mike's hand, where the ring is plainly visible, and part of Mike's face, asleep. he never takes it off, Greta's written, give him a chance to explain when he calls.
Mike calls while Kevin is going through receipts the next day. "The thing with pictures," he says, before Kevin's said anything, "is that they never fucking show what happens after they're taken."
"What happened after it was taken?" Kevin asks and he can see the Alexes looking at him oddly.
"I told her I was engaged," Mike says and laughs a little, "See, there's this guy I know who asked if I'd mind pretending to be fake engaged to him while his parents were visiting, but I actually wanted it to be real. Except then this girl just fucking went for it and she could cling. By the time I'd pushed her away, those photos had already been taken and now I'm thinking fuck, chances are probably totally ruined with this guy. He must hate me.."
"No," Kevin says, "Not totally ruined."
"Come to London."
There's a lot of reasons why he shouldn't, starting and ending with Skeptics and Lovebugs, but Kevin still says, "Okay."
-end-