Meet Kristina. A resident moron.

[so_wicked]

Long story short:

So it’s done; The Lady Cop has been crossed off the list. Apparently, as I just found out, like 10 minutes ago, she’s in love with this other girl from across the country. And of course, there’s plenty of dyke drama attached to that, too. And what do I do? I go into my always-a-therapist-never-a-girlfriend mode. Well screw that.

Comments

[so_wicked]

Meh.

[so_wicked]

A good kick is what I need, really.

:-*

[atfm]

I wrote this a while ago and thought it was kind of appropriate.

Familiar Feeling

Every time she thinks there’s a woman she could fall in love with, that woman ends up with someone else. People who sail in the same boat of solitude as her set foot on land and are welcomed into warm embraces. A tiny part of her feels betrayed by being left behind like this, but, mostly, she doesn’t grudge them their togetherness - she likes seeing people happy. But she watches them, and she can’t help the subtle aching in the pit of her stomach that refuses to be ignored. Her idealism is fading, and she begins to doubt the corny saying that there really is a match for everyone. On some days, it’s not companionship she craves most, or even physical intimacy. It’s the simple knowledge that she’s cared about, the somewhat pathetic but human need to feel that her existence matters. As her hope to find love slowly dims, the only comfort she has is that at least with this feeling, she’s not alone.

[so_wicked]

That really is appropriate, and very true and I'm not sure if that is a good or a bad thing.

It's very discouraging when my friends keep telling me how awesome af a person I am and all I keep thinking is: you're my friend, of course that's what you're gonna say to me. But maybe I'm not as awesome when I keep being left behind time and time again.

[atfm]

I think the bad thing about it is that it is true, and the good thing is that you're not alone with it.

It's nice to hear all that and important to get encouragement from one's friends, but at some point, it just doesn't make you feel better any longer because it doesn't get you anywhere. It's great when friends think you're awesome, but sometimes that's just not enough. But still, don't doubt what they say.