Fic: "Past The Red Line" Part 4

[millari]

“I hate this part,” Anders grumbled, as he looked through the high-powered binoculars around his neck yet another time.

“What, the waiting?” Tyrol, bored, had been lying in the dirt and brush. He felt incredibly tired, yet he was far too wired and restless to actually fall asleep, so he was lying there, settling for resting his eyes. But Anders’

Comments

please fix the code!

[talyr]

Hi there, i really want to read this chapter but the code is messed up--there is no cut tag and all the paragraphs are running together. if you could fix it that would be great! looking forward to reading it

various things

[millari]

OMG, my stress level after finishing this post is like through the roof! I don't know if it's me or IE or LJ or what? Anyway, it all seems to look okay now, and I credited you. Sorry about that. I have this annoying habit of realizing that I forgot to credit people (for cowriting, betas, etc.) the instant after I push the button to post

the "hr" thing

[millari]

See my previous comment....

Oh, the irony.....

OMG!

[millari]

Are you all on the Internet like 24-7? ;)

Ok, Adderall-inspired rant follows, with some possible explanatory information about the frakked-upness of the post a few minutes ago. Feel feel to read or scroll down to the bottom and millari's return to normalcy....

I have been having serious technical difficulties with LJ and Internet Explorer, which I hate using, but I was at my dad's house and there was no alternative. I have no idea why the paragraphs were running together like that and why everything was in bold, but somehow, reposting magically fixed it all. Incidentally, if anyone has any advice in this area, I'd appreciate, because posting part 2 was a similiar clusterfrak

[cerebel]

Good job! Good tension, I loved the conversation between Jammer and the trucker gal, that was really the most tense part of the whole thing. The argument between Cain and the others seemed a little talky to me, but it was still awesome, and CAIN SHOT HIM YES.

Keep on, guys :D

(BTW, you should add me on AIM. My screen name is in my profile.)

[cerebel]

Remember, sparse is good. Our readers are intelligent enough to make logic jumps on their own -- if you put in too much then they're going to start skimming.

But it wasn't too bad. I'm just overly critical because I'm sitting here with NOTHING TO DO. ENTERTAIN ME, PLZ.

[aella_irene]

This is an incredibly chilling story- A good kind of chilling, but still chilling. The way Tama is ready to kill herself, and won't stop even when Jammer tells her that there are children in the NCP builing, and the fact that Cain doesn't stop the suicide bombing because there are children in there, but stops it because public opinion will go against them if there are children there.

I love Tyrol, and the fact that he isn't going to order someone to put themselves in life-threatening danger unless he's going there with them. And Jammer, desperately trying to stop Tama from commiting the bombing.

This is a fantastic fic.

[millari]

Well, the first and second points you made are attributable to me, and third point to _usakeh_. It just goes to show what a good idea bouncing ideas off another person can be. I think this fic was a lot stronger for our collaboration, even though it probably took longer because of the decision to work together.

Thanks for the gratifying feedback. I'm glad you're enjoying the fic. Hopefully Part 5 will come along a lot faster. We are already writing.

Nice icon, btw.