Jebus Cripes Already

[snurri]

Dear Hallmark, Hershey's, FTD et al:

Why don't you just declare February "VALENTINE'S MONTH" and get it over with?

I hate your candy hearts,

Dave

Comments

[_stranger_here]

Post-VD chocolate sales are a good thing, though.

[snurri]

I cannot respond to your comment because your icon has driven me to apoplexy.

[_stranger_here]

Maybe this one's more your speed?

[snurri]

It's the candy hearts in general. They've had some out at my (otherwise wonderful) coffee shop for the past week. The first time I saw them I could not keep the sneer from my face.

[jocelina]

I would also like to politely request that De Beers and all other diamond vendors STFU immediately. If I hear one more commercial intimating that the hearts of women everywhere are irreparably shattered when their husbands/boyfriends/sons fail to buy them diamonds on February 14th, I am pretty sure my own heart will explode with rage and irritation.

[livia_llewellyn]

If Kay Jewelers would just change their commercial song to "Every Killing begins with "Kay", then I'd buy a fuck-ton of diamonds! To kill people with, of course...

[snurri]

Embarrassing fact: it took me YEARS to realize that the point of that jingle was a spelling pun. I thought they were actually saying that no one gets a kiss unless you buy jewelry from them, so I just tuned those commercials out entirely for making such a ridiculous claim.

Sometimes I R Dum.

[deborahlive]

During the December Holiday onslaught, My youngster and I sang it as "Every Knife begins with Kay!"

Agree completely on this holiday. As the kid put it, "What a great idea! Let's devote a whole day to making people feel inadequate!"

[snurri]

Easter Peeps are coming to kill you.

No, I mean right this second. I'm trying to warn you.

[kameron_hurley]

I crush candy hearts.

[snurri]

Do you use your heel or your fist?

[the_flea_king]

Kinda makes you wonder what holiday they are going to invent to try and get some of our tax "rebate" dollars this spring.

[snurri]

I think that holiday is called The Big Deficit, Brought to You By the Iraq War.

[mrissa]

Do not say that anywhere my mom is likely to read it, or I will be stuck putting up Deficit decorations with her and singing Deficit songs. You may think I'm kidding. She knows a lot of Tom Lehrer, and she's not afraid to deploy.

[shaolingrrl]

I'll sing with your mom!