[SJFF] Yearning of the Heart - Chapter 19
Title: Yearning of the Heart
Characters: Ryeowook, OC, SJ members
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Drama
Type: Novel
Summary: All he wants was for her to love him, and all she wants was for someone else to love her. If only life could be simple.
Author's Notes: Expansion of Like A Fool.
~ * ~
Chapter 19
Completely ignoring the fact that he wasn't in a disguise to hide his face from view, Ryeowook frantically pushed through the small crowd that was walking in and out of the hospital's main entrance. It earned him a fair share of curses and name-calling, but he really couldn't care less; not when his mind kept on repeating Kyoungmi's name and how he keeps on praying hard that nothing serious had happened to her. He knew that he was selfish for thinking in such a manner, but at times like these, his heart ruled over his rational mind.
Not even bothering to stop by at the registration counter or to wait for the elevators, Ryeowook immediately dashed up the stairs towards the third floor where Kyoungmi's manager had directed him to. He completely ignored the fact that his lungs were currently burning from all the exertion - he had been running all the way from Kyoungmi's apartment, which was about ten minutes away from the hospital - or the fact that he was almost keeling over because his legs were about to give way beneath him. He willed himself to keep on moving; at least until he was able to cast his sight upon the face of the person he loved. It wouldn't do him any good to collapse before he was able to reach her.
Ryeowook didn't know what was in store for him, as her manager didn't really divulge any further information apart from the number of the ward she was currently in. But as he ran down the hallway towards the room from Kyoungmi's manager's directions, his heart began to feel even more uneasy than it had initially been, especially when he had passed by room after room containing patients with various tubes inserted into them and machines surrounding them. It took him quite some time before he realised that he was currently at the hospital floor where the Intensive Care Unit was located at, and he suddenly wanted to just turn around and convince himself that he had ended up at the wrong level.
However, all hope was lost when Ryeowook caught sight of Kyoungmi's manager outside one of the rooms, talking to a middle-aged couple whom he presumed to be Kyoungmi's parents. The sullen mood was emanating all the way across the hallway, over what little distance was left between Ryeowook and the room. Instead of running harder than before, Ryeowook's steps gradually slowed down, and eventually, he found himself struggling to even drag his feet towards the group. In fact, he was surprised that he was even able to reach what was probably Kyoungmi's room.
"H-hyung… how is Kyoungmi…?" the eternal maknae of Super Junior finally found his voice after going through an initial phase of inner turmoil when her parents had left Kyoungmi's manager alone, probably to get some fresh air away from the pungent smell of antiseptics of the hospital. Part of him desperately wanted to know what had happened to the girl, but another larger part of him was afraid that he couldn't accept the truth. In the end, the curious side of him won the battle, and he forced himself to swallow the imaginary lump in his throat after putting forth his question.
To his dismay, the older man opted not to answer him, but pointed towards Ryeowook's right instead. The latter could swear that his heart shattered into a million pieces at the sight of the person on the other side of the glass pane - even more so than when Kyoungmi told him that she wanted to put a distance between them because of her relationship with Kwangho months ago. The scene was absolutely heart-wrenching; just like the other patients that he had seen in the other isolated rooms, there were various drips hanging around Kyoungmi, along with a machine that seemed to be monitoring her heart beat. As if that couldn't kill his heart thoroughly enough, Kyoungmi's head and various other parts of her body were wrapped in layers of bandages, and Ryeowook couldn't help but wonder what exactly had happened to her, and what was the extent of her injuries to render her into such a state.
"Someone from the company rang me up soon after I gave you a call, and told me that the hospital had contacted them, saying that Kyoungmi had been involved in a serious car accident in the wee hours of the morning. When I got here she was just being wheeled out from the operation theatre," her manager explained, voice chock full of emotions. From his intonation alone, Ryeowook was quite sure that Kyoungmi was rather close to this manager of hers, probably to the extent of thinking about him as a real older brother. He seemed quite affected by the situation that befell Kyoungmi, which was usually not the case when artists and their managers are involved.
"How was she sent here in the first place…?" Ryeowook questioned again, though he was unable to avert his eyes away from the sleeping form of Kyoungmi even if he wanted to. "And how bad is her condition?"
"Someone found her in a very bad condition; she was lying on the ground in a pool of blood. The doctors said that they had to perform an emergency operation on her because there was some massive bleeding going on in her head. And… I hope you're prepared to hear this - it might take a long time before she would regain her consciousness, and when she does, there's no guarantee that she could walk again… It seems that she had sustained quite a substantial amount of injury to her spine…" the manager added, and Ryeowook swore that he could feel his legs buckling under him. He immediately used the wall to support his weight; his lips also felt extremely dry at the amount of shock he had just received from the influx of information.
When he had first heard that Kyoungmi was in the hospital, Ryeowook thought that she was merely being stupid and attempted to get an abortion, judging by how distracted she looked just the other day. Never in his life did he expect that she would get caught in such a severe car accident, to the extent that there was a possibility that she might be wheelchair-bound for life. Her career was just beginning to pick up its pace, but with the accident in place, it was definitely in ruins. She was going to be devastated, that much he was sure.
"The person who did this to her… where is he…?" Ryeowook put forth yet another question once he was able to compose himself, and he could feel his own fist trembling in response. As mean as he may sound, he didn't want the driver of the car to escape unscathed. He desperately pushed those negative thoughts aside, trying hard not to let his mind get conquered by them. It was just wrong on so many levels to begin with.
"I'm not too sure about that, but from what I've heard from the police officer, his condition wasn't too well off either. He swerved onto the opposite lane and crashed into the divider after hitting Kyoungmi. He should be in this hospital as well. In any case, I think you can go in and take a look at her. I'll need to excuse myself," her manager said, giving him a light pat on his shoulder and flashed a thin smile at him.
Ryeowook thanked the older male quietly and looked on as the latter walked away, before taking in a deep breath and let his gaze fall on Kyoungmi again. Slowly, he inched towards the glass window separating her room from the exterior, and pressed his palms against it. There were just so many contradicting emotions welled up within him, threatening to spill over at any given time, but he willed himself to remain strong for her sake. She needed support right now, and he was determined to be the one to be her pillar.
When a soft touch landed on his shoulder, Ryeowook turned to his left in surprise, as he didn't even notice that someone was standing next to him. He nodded politely when he realised that it was a middle-aged nurse - probably the one who was in charge of taking care of Kyoungmi - that had called for his attention. "Good morning, Ryeowook-sshi. Do you want to go in and take a look at Kyoungmi-sshi?" she offered gently, and her mannerisms oddly reminded him of a motherly figure. Despite his emotions, a small smile brightened up his face a little at the thought.
"Is it possible for me to do so? I mean, isn't she supposed to be in isolation or something?" he found himself asking, since he suddenly remembered about the medical dramas he had seen on television. Aside from that, he was also wondering how she knew about his name, but figured out that she was probably someone who keeps herself abreast with the entertainment world. At least she wasn't an obsessive fan who would forego her responsibilities upon seeing a celebrity up close. However, much to his confusion, the nurse merely let out an amused chuckle at his query.
"Of course you can. All you need is a proper attire, then you're good to go," said the nurse, and Ryeowook nodded in acknowledgement, thanking her silently as he followed her directions to the changing room.
After he had put on the designated attire, Ryeowook slowly walked into Kyoungmi's ward, coming to a stop at the end of her bed. His slender fingers traced the bed frame absentmindedly, while his eyes darted everywhere else, carefully taking in the sight of every single equipment which were hooked onto the girl lying on the bed in front of him. Now that he realised it, even her breathing had to be aided by a machine, reflecting the gravity of her condition. He reflexively squeezed his eyes shut when he recalled the words that Kyoungmi's manager had told him earlier, swallowing the imaginary lump that had appeared once again in his throat.
Looking at her peaceful sleeping face, Ryeowook couldn't help but wonder when she was going to wake up. Heaving a desolate sigh, he took the seat next to Kyoungmi's bed, picking up her limp hand gently so that he could hold it in his warm ones. He shuddered a little at how cold it felt to his touch, and Ryeowook automatically started rubbing it in order to generate some warmth, even though he didn't know how much it would help her by doing so.
"Kwangho-sshi, is that you?" A weak voice suddenly rang out in the room just as Ryeowook planted a soft kiss on Kyoungmi's hand, causing him to release his hold on her hand at once and jumped backwards in surprise. He bowed respectfully without missing a beat when he caught sight of the couple who was outside the room earlier looking curiously at him, worrying whether they had witnessed what he did. Even though it was merely a small gesture, he didn't want them to misunderstand, especially when Kyoungmi has a boyfriend - and the person was not him, regardless of how much he wanted it to be true.
"Ah no, I believe that there must be some mistake. I'm not Kwangho hyung. My name is Kim Ryeowook, and I'm just Kyoungmi's friend. You must be Kyoungmi's parents?" Ryeowook corrected them wryly and formally introduced himself to her parents. At the back of his mind, Ryeowook started to wonder where did this boyfriend of Kyoungmi's - the father of her baby - go. Judging by her parents' intonation, it doesn't seem as though he had paid his girlfriend a visit yet. Whether or not they knew how Kwangho looked like was yet another question.
"Ah, Ryeowook-sshi… Kyoungmi has told us a lot about you. Yes, we're her parents, and I'm sorry about the mix-up. I just thought that you were Kwangho-sshi, since we had called him up earlier only to be redirected to his voicemail," Kyoungmi's father said, as one of his arms reached up to wrap around his wife's shoulder. She had started to sob quietly upon seeing her daughter's condition yet again. However, Ryeowook was rather baffled by the older man's statement. Considering that Kyoungmi was involved in an accident, he thought that being her boyfriend, Kwangho would be among the visitors, if not the first, that she would have. Where the hell was he anyway?
"It's not a big deal, sir. I'm sorry to hear what had happened to Kyoungmi," Ryeowook replied curtly, trying to prevent his voice from trembling. He couldn't show her parents that he was completely devastated over Kyoungmi's condition, especially when he had introduced himself as only Kyoungmi's friend. "Would you like to go home and have some rest, though? It must have been hard on the both of you to go through such an immense amount of shock so early in the day… If you're willing, I would be more than glad to accompany her here in your stead," he added, smiling politely at her parents. They seemed to have lightened up just a bit at his offer.
"That's very kind of you, Ryeowook-sshi. If it's not much of a trouble to you, then I don't suppose that we could refuse your offer either. Thank you so much," her father responded, and the couple bowed gratefully at the eternal maknae of Super Junior. He responded with a deeper bow, and finally slumped back in his seat once the couple was out of site.
Leaning back into the chair, Ryeowook heaved an exhausted sigh as he stared up at the ceiling above. Every single incident that had happened that day was a little too much for him to handle, and he still hadn't quite wrapped his head around the fact that the girl he loved was pregnant. Nonetheless, he made a mental note to ask the doctors what had happened to her pregnancy, though he had a hunch that it was already aborted because of the impact from her accident.
And for the first time that day, Ryeowook could feel the warm, salty tears rolling out of the corner of his eyes, down the side of his face.
Characters: Ryeowook, OC, SJ members
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Drama
Type: Novel
Summary: All he wants was for her to love him, and all she wants was for someone else to love her. If only life could be simple.
Author's Notes: Expansion of Like A Fool.
~ * ~
Chapter 19
Completely ignoring the fact that he wasn't in a disguise to hide his face from view, Ryeowook frantically pushed through the small crowd that was walking in and out of the hospital's main entrance. It earned him a fair share of curses and name-calling, but he really couldn't care less; not when his mind kept on repeating Kyoungmi's name and how he keeps on praying hard that nothing serious had happened to her. He knew that he was selfish for thinking in such a manner, but at times like these, his heart ruled over his rational mind.
Not even bothering to stop by at the registration counter or to wait for the elevators, Ryeowook immediately dashed up the stairs towards the third floor where Kyoungmi's manager had directed him to. He completely ignored the fact that his lungs were currently burning from all the exertion - he had been running all the way from Kyoungmi's apartment, which was about ten minutes away from the hospital - or the fact that he was almost keeling over because his legs were about to give way beneath him. He willed himself to keep on moving; at least until he was able to cast his sight upon the face of the person he loved. It wouldn't do him any good to collapse before he was able to reach her.
Ryeowook didn't know what was in store for him, as her manager didn't really divulge any further information apart from the number of the ward she was currently in. But as he ran down the hallway towards the room from Kyoungmi's manager's directions, his heart began to feel even more uneasy than it had initially been, especially when he had passed by room after room containing patients with various tubes inserted into them and machines surrounding them. It took him quite some time before he realised that he was currently at the hospital floor where the Intensive Care Unit was located at, and he suddenly wanted to just turn around and convince himself that he had ended up at the wrong level.
However, all hope was lost when Ryeowook caught sight of Kyoungmi's manager outside one of the rooms, talking to a middle-aged couple whom he presumed to be Kyoungmi's parents. The sullen mood was emanating all the way across the hallway, over what little distance was left between Ryeowook and the room. Instead of running harder than before, Ryeowook's steps gradually slowed down, and eventually, he found himself struggling to even drag his feet towards the group. In fact, he was surprised that he was even able to reach what was probably Kyoungmi's room.
"H-hyung… how is Kyoungmi…?" the eternal maknae of Super Junior finally found his voice after going through an initial phase of inner turmoil when her parents had left Kyoungmi's manager alone, probably to get some fresh air away from the pungent smell of antiseptics of the hospital. Part of him desperately wanted to know what had happened to the girl, but another larger part of him was afraid that he couldn't accept the truth. In the end, the curious side of him won the battle, and he forced himself to swallow the imaginary lump in his throat after putting forth his question.
To his dismay, the older man opted not to answer him, but pointed towards Ryeowook's right instead. The latter could swear that his heart shattered into a million pieces at the sight of the person on the other side of the glass pane - even more so than when Kyoungmi told him that she wanted to put a distance between them because of her relationship with Kwangho months ago. The scene was absolutely heart-wrenching; just like the other patients that he had seen in the other isolated rooms, there were various drips hanging around Kyoungmi, along with a machine that seemed to be monitoring her heart beat. As if that couldn't kill his heart thoroughly enough, Kyoungmi's head and various other parts of her body were wrapped in layers of bandages, and Ryeowook couldn't help but wonder what exactly had happened to her, and what was the extent of her injuries to render her into such a state.
"Someone from the company rang me up soon after I gave you a call, and told me that the hospital had contacted them, saying that Kyoungmi had been involved in a serious car accident in the wee hours of the morning. When I got here she was just being wheeled out from the operation theatre," her manager explained, voice chock full of emotions. From his intonation alone, Ryeowook was quite sure that Kyoungmi was rather close to this manager of hers, probably to the extent of thinking about him as a real older brother. He seemed quite affected by the situation that befell Kyoungmi, which was usually not the case when artists and their managers are involved.
"How was she sent here in the first place…?" Ryeowook questioned again, though he was unable to avert his eyes away from the sleeping form of Kyoungmi even if he wanted to. "And how bad is her condition?"
"Someone found her in a very bad condition; she was lying on the ground in a pool of blood. The doctors said that they had to perform an emergency operation on her because there was some massive bleeding going on in her head. And… I hope you're prepared to hear this - it might take a long time before she would regain her consciousness, and when she does, there's no guarantee that she could walk again… It seems that she had sustained quite a substantial amount of injury to her spine…" the manager added, and Ryeowook swore that he could feel his legs buckling under him. He immediately used the wall to support his weight; his lips also felt extremely dry at the amount of shock he had just received from the influx of information.
When he had first heard that Kyoungmi was in the hospital, Ryeowook thought that she was merely being stupid and attempted to get an abortion, judging by how distracted she looked just the other day. Never in his life did he expect that she would get caught in such a severe car accident, to the extent that there was a possibility that she might be wheelchair-bound for life. Her career was just beginning to pick up its pace, but with the accident in place, it was definitely in ruins. She was going to be devastated, that much he was sure.
"The person who did this to her… where is he…?" Ryeowook put forth yet another question once he was able to compose himself, and he could feel his own fist trembling in response. As mean as he may sound, he didn't want the driver of the car to escape unscathed. He desperately pushed those negative thoughts aside, trying hard not to let his mind get conquered by them. It was just wrong on so many levels to begin with.
"I'm not too sure about that, but from what I've heard from the police officer, his condition wasn't too well off either. He swerved onto the opposite lane and crashed into the divider after hitting Kyoungmi. He should be in this hospital as well. In any case, I think you can go in and take a look at her. I'll need to excuse myself," her manager said, giving him a light pat on his shoulder and flashed a thin smile at him.
Ryeowook thanked the older male quietly and looked on as the latter walked away, before taking in a deep breath and let his gaze fall on Kyoungmi again. Slowly, he inched towards the glass window separating her room from the exterior, and pressed his palms against it. There were just so many contradicting emotions welled up within him, threatening to spill over at any given time, but he willed himself to remain strong for her sake. She needed support right now, and he was determined to be the one to be her pillar.
When a soft touch landed on his shoulder, Ryeowook turned to his left in surprise, as he didn't even notice that someone was standing next to him. He nodded politely when he realised that it was a middle-aged nurse - probably the one who was in charge of taking care of Kyoungmi - that had called for his attention. "Good morning, Ryeowook-sshi. Do you want to go in and take a look at Kyoungmi-sshi?" she offered gently, and her mannerisms oddly reminded him of a motherly figure. Despite his emotions, a small smile brightened up his face a little at the thought.
"Is it possible for me to do so? I mean, isn't she supposed to be in isolation or something?" he found himself asking, since he suddenly remembered about the medical dramas he had seen on television. Aside from that, he was also wondering how she knew about his name, but figured out that she was probably someone who keeps herself abreast with the entertainment world. At least she wasn't an obsessive fan who would forego her responsibilities upon seeing a celebrity up close. However, much to his confusion, the nurse merely let out an amused chuckle at his query.
"Of course you can. All you need is a proper attire, then you're good to go," said the nurse, and Ryeowook nodded in acknowledgement, thanking her silently as he followed her directions to the changing room.
After he had put on the designated attire, Ryeowook slowly walked into Kyoungmi's ward, coming to a stop at the end of her bed. His slender fingers traced the bed frame absentmindedly, while his eyes darted everywhere else, carefully taking in the sight of every single equipment which were hooked onto the girl lying on the bed in front of him. Now that he realised it, even her breathing had to be aided by a machine, reflecting the gravity of her condition. He reflexively squeezed his eyes shut when he recalled the words that Kyoungmi's manager had told him earlier, swallowing the imaginary lump that had appeared once again in his throat.
Looking at her peaceful sleeping face, Ryeowook couldn't help but wonder when she was going to wake up. Heaving a desolate sigh, he took the seat next to Kyoungmi's bed, picking up her limp hand gently so that he could hold it in his warm ones. He shuddered a little at how cold it felt to his touch, and Ryeowook automatically started rubbing it in order to generate some warmth, even though he didn't know how much it would help her by doing so.
"Kwangho-sshi, is that you?" A weak voice suddenly rang out in the room just as Ryeowook planted a soft kiss on Kyoungmi's hand, causing him to release his hold on her hand at once and jumped backwards in surprise. He bowed respectfully without missing a beat when he caught sight of the couple who was outside the room earlier looking curiously at him, worrying whether they had witnessed what he did. Even though it was merely a small gesture, he didn't want them to misunderstand, especially when Kyoungmi has a boyfriend - and the person was not him, regardless of how much he wanted it to be true.
"Ah no, I believe that there must be some mistake. I'm not Kwangho hyung. My name is Kim Ryeowook, and I'm just Kyoungmi's friend. You must be Kyoungmi's parents?" Ryeowook corrected them wryly and formally introduced himself to her parents. At the back of his mind, Ryeowook started to wonder where did this boyfriend of Kyoungmi's - the father of her baby - go. Judging by her parents' intonation, it doesn't seem as though he had paid his girlfriend a visit yet. Whether or not they knew how Kwangho looked like was yet another question.
"Ah, Ryeowook-sshi… Kyoungmi has told us a lot about you. Yes, we're her parents, and I'm sorry about the mix-up. I just thought that you were Kwangho-sshi, since we had called him up earlier only to be redirected to his voicemail," Kyoungmi's father said, as one of his arms reached up to wrap around his wife's shoulder. She had started to sob quietly upon seeing her daughter's condition yet again. However, Ryeowook was rather baffled by the older man's statement. Considering that Kyoungmi was involved in an accident, he thought that being her boyfriend, Kwangho would be among the visitors, if not the first, that she would have. Where the hell was he anyway?
"It's not a big deal, sir. I'm sorry to hear what had happened to Kyoungmi," Ryeowook replied curtly, trying to prevent his voice from trembling. He couldn't show her parents that he was completely devastated over Kyoungmi's condition, especially when he had introduced himself as only Kyoungmi's friend. "Would you like to go home and have some rest, though? It must have been hard on the both of you to go through such an immense amount of shock so early in the day… If you're willing, I would be more than glad to accompany her here in your stead," he added, smiling politely at her parents. They seemed to have lightened up just a bit at his offer.
"That's very kind of you, Ryeowook-sshi. If it's not much of a trouble to you, then I don't suppose that we could refuse your offer either. Thank you so much," her father responded, and the couple bowed gratefully at the eternal maknae of Super Junior. He responded with a deeper bow, and finally slumped back in his seat once the couple was out of site.
Leaning back into the chair, Ryeowook heaved an exhausted sigh as he stared up at the ceiling above. Every single incident that had happened that day was a little too much for him to handle, and he still hadn't quite wrapped his head around the fact that the girl he loved was pregnant. Nonetheless, he made a mental note to ask the doctors what had happened to her pregnancy, though he had a hunch that it was already aborted because of the impact from her accident.
And for the first time that day, Ryeowook could feel the warm, salty tears rolling out of the corner of his eyes, down the side of his face.