[SJFF] Yearning of the Heart - Chapter 18
Title: Yearning of the Heart
Characters: Ryeowook, OC, SJ members
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Drama
Type: Novel
Summary: All he wants was for her to love him, and all she wants was for someone else to love her. If only life could be simple.
Author's Notes: Expansion of Like A Fool.
~ * ~
Chapter 18
Ryeowook frowned at the screen of his phone when he reached the inbox of Kyoungmi's voicemail for the tenth time that morning. It wasn't like her at all to switch her to switch her phone off and be completely unreachable at this time of the day. Aside from that, her acting all out-of-it on the previous day unsettled Ryeowook a lot. Needless to say, the immense amount of worrying that he was doing at the moment was completely distracting him from his own life.
If anything, he was thankful that his group was currently on a break from their schedules in order to recharge themselves for their future projects - well, most of them were, at least; some of them still had to appear as guests on certain variety programmes and host their radio shows - otherwise he would definitely be reprimanded time and again for spacing out frequently. Jungsoo, who was currently in a very bad mood after that scandal involving his girlfriend and another man was splashed across major newspapers, wasn't exactly someone that Ryeowook would like to cross at the moment. In fact, most of the other members already had their heads chewed off by the leader for various reasons, and Ryeowook wouldn't like to be added to that victim count.
Deciding that he should give things a short break for now, Ryeowook fell back onto his bed and laid spread-eagle on top of his sheets, allowing his phone to fall face-down next to him. In an attempt to push his excessive worrying about Kyoungmi to the back of his mind, he picked up the book which was placed primly on his bedside table, and flipped to the last page which he had been reading the previous night. Nonetheless, like before, he couldn't even get past the first paragraph of the story because of the rampant thoughts, and he resorted to covering his face with the book instead to block out the source of light. It was a little too irritating to his tired eyes for his liking, considering the fact that he didn't get much sleep at all.
He knew perfectly well that the other members were definitely going to say that he's being ridiculous for worrying so much about a girl who was obviously in love with someone else, but when it came to things like these, Ryeowook thought that there was nothing wrong about his actions. True, he couldn't deny the fact that his feelings were probably never going to be reciprocated, but he still felt the need to try to reach Kyoungmi's heart - not as a friend, but as a potential lover - with his efforts. Though it was probably an illusion on his part, Ryeowook could feel that her heart was slowly softening for him, so he must be doing something right in that department.
If anything, Ryeowook was actually glad that the dorms were almost empty, as most of the other members took the opportunity of having an almost-empty schedule to do the things they have always wanted to do; that way, he didn't have to do any explaining that he didn't want to do. Jungsoo, Jongwoon and Youngwoon were out somewhere, probably at their parents' places visiting them; Heechul, Hankyung, Kibum, and Kyuhyun were holed up in the oldest male's room, playing their computer games together. Ryeowook could hear their voices loud and clear even though the door to his own room was shut tight. Hyukjae, Donghae and Siwon decided that they wanted to go shopping since it had been ages since they've done so. Shindong was out on a date with his girlfriend, while Sungmin was also in his own room, probably doing some composing work. And Ryeowook was the only person left staring at the ceiling doing nothing; he chuckled a little at how pathetic his own life was.
Just as he prepared to get up from his comfortable position on the bed to get something to eat, the sound of Ryeowook's phone ringing made him freeze in his steps, and it took him all but two seconds to lunge for the electronic device. However, he felt a huge pang of disappointment the moment he took a look at the caller ID, which revealed an unknown number instead of Kyoungmi's name, but answered the call anyway. "Hello? May I know who this is?" he muttered into the phone, wondering who the person was.
"Hello, Ryeowook-sshi. This is Kyoungmi's manager here. I apologise for disturbing you this early in the morning," an unknown man's voice came from the other side of the line, surprising Ryeowook. He didn't recall giving his number to her manager at all. Why would he call him anyway?
"Ah, no, it's alright," Ryeowook replied when he remembered that the man was still waiting for an answer. "May I know your purpose of calling me? And how did you obtain my number?" he asked good-naturedly, trying hard not to let his curiosity get the better of him. He had to keep up with his image after all, even though it wasn't that far off from his usual personality, but he decided that since he was in a rather irate mood at the moment, it wouldn't do him any good if he sounded annoyed over the phone.
"About that… Kyoungmi actually gave me your number quite some time ago, telling me that should I not be able to contact her, I could ring you up instead. Which reminds me, is she with you at the moment? I can't seem to be able to contact her, and she's going to be late for her filming schedule if she doesn't show up soon," the manager explained, causing Ryeowook to go wide-eyed even though the other man couldn't see his expressions. Of course, he was really surprised that Kyoungmi would actually name him as the person that the others should contact if she was unreachable; he thought that Kwangho would be the one instead, especially after their relationship had been announced to the public. It was weird, but he felt oddly happy about it.
"Well, no… I'm actually trying to contact her as well. Did you try looking for her at her apartment?" asked Ryeowook.
"That's another problem, Ryeowook-sshi. Kyoungmi was never fond of her managerial team visiting her at her apartment, so I don't actually know her address…" Kyoungmi's manager admitted, and Ryeowook noticed the awkward intonation used by the other man. It was definitely rare in the entertainment circle that the managers did not know the address of those under their charge, but he decided not to pursue the topic further. "But she told me that you have the keys to her apartment?" the manager stated again, though it was evident that he was uncertain about the validity of his own comment.
At the sound of her manager's question, Ryeowook came to a sudden realisation that he did have the keys to Kyoungmi's apartment which was given to him quite some time ago, but was left forgotten in his drawer because he didn't find the need to use it. He didn't even know why she gave him the keys in the first place, since she had refused to explain her actions to him. Ryeowook mentally rolled his eyes at himself for not recalling about the bunch of keys in his possession; otherwise he could have paid her a visit at her apartment instead of worrying about her ceaselessly because he couldn't contact her through the phone.
"Oh yes, she did pass her keys to me the other time for me to keep… in case she forgot to bring her own set. Don't worry; I'll pay her a visit in a moment. I'll contact you again if I manage to find her, thanks," Ryeowook replied as he ran around the room trying to get dressed with the phone still stuck against his ear. He grimaced at his white lie, though it was shrugged off soon after because he had to give an explanation before her manager suspected something about his relationship with Kyoungmi. He didn't want her to be seen in a bad light. He heaved a sigh of relieve when her manager seemed to have trusted in his words, and barely five minutes later, Ryeowook was already heading towards Kyoungmi's apartment with an uneasy feeling in the deepest pits of his stomach.
All he hoped was for her to be alright.
* * * * *
Sighing as he pressed the doorbell for the umpteenth time, Ryeowook finally stuck his hand into his jeans pocket to fish the keys to Kyoungmi's apartment out when he was resigned to the fact that there was probably no one in the house. He initially didn't want to use the keys at all, but since no one was answering the door, he had to resort to such an action. Silently muttering an apology at no one in particular, Ryeowook sucked in a deep breath and stepped into the house.
The moment he walked into Kyoungmi's apartment, he looked around in awe at the condition of the unit. Even though it was small, it was probably more than adequate for one person to live within. To say that it was well-furnished was probably quite an understatement, and he couldn't help but wonder how about the payment Kyoungmi receives from her acting jobs. He reined his amazement in when he remembered that there were more important things for him to do, and slowly closed the main door behind him.
Padding softly through the house, Ryeowook kept calling out Kyoungmi's name in hopes that someone would answer him, but it was all in vain. The apartment was completely quiet save for the sound of keys jangling in his hand and his footsteps reverberating throughout the still air of the house. When he passed by the master bedroom, Ryeowook paused in his steps and hesitated for a short moment. He didn't really want to intrude on Kyoungmi's privacy, especially when he wasn't invited into the house in the first place. In the end, he still walked into the empty room anyway, looking around just in case he managed to find something - a note, perhaps? - which would tell him more about Kyoungmi's whereabouts. Ryeowook chuckled dryly at how ridiculous his own thoughts were, shaking his head lightly at himself.
The one thing that managed to catch his attention instantly was the photo frames on her bedside table. It wasn't much of a surprise to find photos of her in a playful lip-lock with Kwangho, Ryeowook thought, but what surprised him more was the fact that there was a photo of him and Kyoungmi there as well. Walking towards the table, Ryeowook gently picked the photo frame up, admiring the wide smiles that were plastered on both his and Kyoungmi's face. It was taken during Hyukjae's birthday party, whereby she had accidentally walked in on them celebrating at the practising studio, and had joined them in the celebration upon the other members' requests.
Deciding that he shouldn't be too preoccupied with a single photo, Ryeowook started looking around the room yet again. He froze when he caught sight of a brown folder that was placed on top of Kyoungmi's dressing table, which had the name of a clinic emblazoned on the top of it. Ryeowook stared at it curiously, wondering when on earth Kyoungmi required a visit to the clinic and had a medical report given to her in return, but somehow suspected that it had something to do with the thing that Kyoungmi wanted to tell him on the previous day.
Picking the envelope up, Ryeowook still hesitated a little whether to look at the report or not. It was an infringement of Kyoungmi's privacy, that much was certain, but he really wanted to know what was wrong with the person he loved. Was she suffering from a weird illness? Or was it merely a routine check-up report? There was only one way to find out, no matter how much he wanted to avoid doing so. It was hard enough trying to reach Kyoungmi at the moment, let alone be able to ask her truthfully about what was actually going on with her health.
Taking a deep breath, Ryeowook pulled the piece of paper out of the envelope, and slowly scanned through the lines so that he wouldn't miss anything. By the end of the report, Ryeowook forced the imaginary lump in his throat down, unable to believe what he was reading.
"She's… pregnant…?" he muttered to himself, completely dumbfounded at the discovery. Suddenly everything became crystal clear to him - why she was acting out of the norm on the previous day, and why she was being so secretive about things as of late. He began wondering when she had started sleeping with Kwangho, but realised that it was a matter of her private life, and he shouldn't be meddling in her life if she doesn't permit it. He was pretty sure that Kyoungmi would be upset with him if he started questioning her about such things, and he didn't want to be seen as someone who was judging her for her actions either.
Just as he was about to try to call Kyoungmi for another time to find out about her whereabouts - she was evidently scared about the report, otherwise she wouldn't be so down when she had met up with him - his phone started ringing instead, revealing the number of her manager who had called him earlier. Ryeowook eagerly picked up the phone, hoping that he had some insight on Kyoungmi's location, but what greeted him was yet another piece of news that shocked him to the core.
"Hello, Ryeowook-sshi… I managed to find Kyoungmi… but I think you should come to the hospital right now…" the manager greeted him grimly, and Ryeowook instantly felt his heart drop. It took him all but a few seconds to recompose himself, dash out of the girl's apartment and hailed a taxi to get him to the location mentioned by her manager.
Characters: Ryeowook, OC, SJ members
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Drama
Type: Novel
Summary: All he wants was for her to love him, and all she wants was for someone else to love her. If only life could be simple.
Author's Notes: Expansion of Like A Fool.
~ * ~
Chapter 18
Ryeowook frowned at the screen of his phone when he reached the inbox of Kyoungmi's voicemail for the tenth time that morning. It wasn't like her at all to switch her to switch her phone off and be completely unreachable at this time of the day. Aside from that, her acting all out-of-it on the previous day unsettled Ryeowook a lot. Needless to say, the immense amount of worrying that he was doing at the moment was completely distracting him from his own life.
If anything, he was thankful that his group was currently on a break from their schedules in order to recharge themselves for their future projects - well, most of them were, at least; some of them still had to appear as guests on certain variety programmes and host their radio shows - otherwise he would definitely be reprimanded time and again for spacing out frequently. Jungsoo, who was currently in a very bad mood after that scandal involving his girlfriend and another man was splashed across major newspapers, wasn't exactly someone that Ryeowook would like to cross at the moment. In fact, most of the other members already had their heads chewed off by the leader for various reasons, and Ryeowook wouldn't like to be added to that victim count.
Deciding that he should give things a short break for now, Ryeowook fell back onto his bed and laid spread-eagle on top of his sheets, allowing his phone to fall face-down next to him. In an attempt to push his excessive worrying about Kyoungmi to the back of his mind, he picked up the book which was placed primly on his bedside table, and flipped to the last page which he had been reading the previous night. Nonetheless, like before, he couldn't even get past the first paragraph of the story because of the rampant thoughts, and he resorted to covering his face with the book instead to block out the source of light. It was a little too irritating to his tired eyes for his liking, considering the fact that he didn't get much sleep at all.
He knew perfectly well that the other members were definitely going to say that he's being ridiculous for worrying so much about a girl who was obviously in love with someone else, but when it came to things like these, Ryeowook thought that there was nothing wrong about his actions. True, he couldn't deny the fact that his feelings were probably never going to be reciprocated, but he still felt the need to try to reach Kyoungmi's heart - not as a friend, but as a potential lover - with his efforts. Though it was probably an illusion on his part, Ryeowook could feel that her heart was slowly softening for him, so he must be doing something right in that department.
If anything, Ryeowook was actually glad that the dorms were almost empty, as most of the other members took the opportunity of having an almost-empty schedule to do the things they have always wanted to do; that way, he didn't have to do any explaining that he didn't want to do. Jungsoo, Jongwoon and Youngwoon were out somewhere, probably at their parents' places visiting them; Heechul, Hankyung, Kibum, and Kyuhyun were holed up in the oldest male's room, playing their computer games together. Ryeowook could hear their voices loud and clear even though the door to his own room was shut tight. Hyukjae, Donghae and Siwon decided that they wanted to go shopping since it had been ages since they've done so. Shindong was out on a date with his girlfriend, while Sungmin was also in his own room, probably doing some composing work. And Ryeowook was the only person left staring at the ceiling doing nothing; he chuckled a little at how pathetic his own life was.
Just as he prepared to get up from his comfortable position on the bed to get something to eat, the sound of Ryeowook's phone ringing made him freeze in his steps, and it took him all but two seconds to lunge for the electronic device. However, he felt a huge pang of disappointment the moment he took a look at the caller ID, which revealed an unknown number instead of Kyoungmi's name, but answered the call anyway. "Hello? May I know who this is?" he muttered into the phone, wondering who the person was.
"Hello, Ryeowook-sshi. This is Kyoungmi's manager here. I apologise for disturbing you this early in the morning," an unknown man's voice came from the other side of the line, surprising Ryeowook. He didn't recall giving his number to her manager at all. Why would he call him anyway?
"Ah, no, it's alright," Ryeowook replied when he remembered that the man was still waiting for an answer. "May I know your purpose of calling me? And how did you obtain my number?" he asked good-naturedly, trying hard not to let his curiosity get the better of him. He had to keep up with his image after all, even though it wasn't that far off from his usual personality, but he decided that since he was in a rather irate mood at the moment, it wouldn't do him any good if he sounded annoyed over the phone.
"About that… Kyoungmi actually gave me your number quite some time ago, telling me that should I not be able to contact her, I could ring you up instead. Which reminds me, is she with you at the moment? I can't seem to be able to contact her, and she's going to be late for her filming schedule if she doesn't show up soon," the manager explained, causing Ryeowook to go wide-eyed even though the other man couldn't see his expressions. Of course, he was really surprised that Kyoungmi would actually name him as the person that the others should contact if she was unreachable; he thought that Kwangho would be the one instead, especially after their relationship had been announced to the public. It was weird, but he felt oddly happy about it.
"Well, no… I'm actually trying to contact her as well. Did you try looking for her at her apartment?" asked Ryeowook.
"That's another problem, Ryeowook-sshi. Kyoungmi was never fond of her managerial team visiting her at her apartment, so I don't actually know her address…" Kyoungmi's manager admitted, and Ryeowook noticed the awkward intonation used by the other man. It was definitely rare in the entertainment circle that the managers did not know the address of those under their charge, but he decided not to pursue the topic further. "But she told me that you have the keys to her apartment?" the manager stated again, though it was evident that he was uncertain about the validity of his own comment.
At the sound of her manager's question, Ryeowook came to a sudden realisation that he did have the keys to Kyoungmi's apartment which was given to him quite some time ago, but was left forgotten in his drawer because he didn't find the need to use it. He didn't even know why she gave him the keys in the first place, since she had refused to explain her actions to him. Ryeowook mentally rolled his eyes at himself for not recalling about the bunch of keys in his possession; otherwise he could have paid her a visit at her apartment instead of worrying about her ceaselessly because he couldn't contact her through the phone.
"Oh yes, she did pass her keys to me the other time for me to keep… in case she forgot to bring her own set. Don't worry; I'll pay her a visit in a moment. I'll contact you again if I manage to find her, thanks," Ryeowook replied as he ran around the room trying to get dressed with the phone still stuck against his ear. He grimaced at his white lie, though it was shrugged off soon after because he had to give an explanation before her manager suspected something about his relationship with Kyoungmi. He didn't want her to be seen in a bad light. He heaved a sigh of relieve when her manager seemed to have trusted in his words, and barely five minutes later, Ryeowook was already heading towards Kyoungmi's apartment with an uneasy feeling in the deepest pits of his stomach.
All he hoped was for her to be alright.
* * * * *
Sighing as he pressed the doorbell for the umpteenth time, Ryeowook finally stuck his hand into his jeans pocket to fish the keys to Kyoungmi's apartment out when he was resigned to the fact that there was probably no one in the house. He initially didn't want to use the keys at all, but since no one was answering the door, he had to resort to such an action. Silently muttering an apology at no one in particular, Ryeowook sucked in a deep breath and stepped into the house.
The moment he walked into Kyoungmi's apartment, he looked around in awe at the condition of the unit. Even though it was small, it was probably more than adequate for one person to live within. To say that it was well-furnished was probably quite an understatement, and he couldn't help but wonder how about the payment Kyoungmi receives from her acting jobs. He reined his amazement in when he remembered that there were more important things for him to do, and slowly closed the main door behind him.
Padding softly through the house, Ryeowook kept calling out Kyoungmi's name in hopes that someone would answer him, but it was all in vain. The apartment was completely quiet save for the sound of keys jangling in his hand and his footsteps reverberating throughout the still air of the house. When he passed by the master bedroom, Ryeowook paused in his steps and hesitated for a short moment. He didn't really want to intrude on Kyoungmi's privacy, especially when he wasn't invited into the house in the first place. In the end, he still walked into the empty room anyway, looking around just in case he managed to find something - a note, perhaps? - which would tell him more about Kyoungmi's whereabouts. Ryeowook chuckled dryly at how ridiculous his own thoughts were, shaking his head lightly at himself.
The one thing that managed to catch his attention instantly was the photo frames on her bedside table. It wasn't much of a surprise to find photos of her in a playful lip-lock with Kwangho, Ryeowook thought, but what surprised him more was the fact that there was a photo of him and Kyoungmi there as well. Walking towards the table, Ryeowook gently picked the photo frame up, admiring the wide smiles that were plastered on both his and Kyoungmi's face. It was taken during Hyukjae's birthday party, whereby she had accidentally walked in on them celebrating at the practising studio, and had joined them in the celebration upon the other members' requests.
Deciding that he shouldn't be too preoccupied with a single photo, Ryeowook started looking around the room yet again. He froze when he caught sight of a brown folder that was placed on top of Kyoungmi's dressing table, which had the name of a clinic emblazoned on the top of it. Ryeowook stared at it curiously, wondering when on earth Kyoungmi required a visit to the clinic and had a medical report given to her in return, but somehow suspected that it had something to do with the thing that Kyoungmi wanted to tell him on the previous day.
Picking the envelope up, Ryeowook still hesitated a little whether to look at the report or not. It was an infringement of Kyoungmi's privacy, that much was certain, but he really wanted to know what was wrong with the person he loved. Was she suffering from a weird illness? Or was it merely a routine check-up report? There was only one way to find out, no matter how much he wanted to avoid doing so. It was hard enough trying to reach Kyoungmi at the moment, let alone be able to ask her truthfully about what was actually going on with her health.
Taking a deep breath, Ryeowook pulled the piece of paper out of the envelope, and slowly scanned through the lines so that he wouldn't miss anything. By the end of the report, Ryeowook forced the imaginary lump in his throat down, unable to believe what he was reading.
"She's… pregnant…?" he muttered to himself, completely dumbfounded at the discovery. Suddenly everything became crystal clear to him - why she was acting out of the norm on the previous day, and why she was being so secretive about things as of late. He began wondering when she had started sleeping with Kwangho, but realised that it was a matter of her private life, and he shouldn't be meddling in her life if she doesn't permit it. He was pretty sure that Kyoungmi would be upset with him if he started questioning her about such things, and he didn't want to be seen as someone who was judging her for her actions either.
Just as he was about to try to call Kyoungmi for another time to find out about her whereabouts - she was evidently scared about the report, otherwise she wouldn't be so down when she had met up with him - his phone started ringing instead, revealing the number of her manager who had called him earlier. Ryeowook eagerly picked up the phone, hoping that he had some insight on Kyoungmi's location, but what greeted him was yet another piece of news that shocked him to the core.
"Hello, Ryeowook-sshi… I managed to find Kyoungmi… but I think you should come to the hospital right now…" the manager greeted him grimly, and Ryeowook instantly felt his heart drop. It took him all but a few seconds to recompose himself, dash out of the girl's apartment and hailed a taxi to get him to the location mentioned by her manager.