[SJFF] Just Hit Me
Title: Just Hit Me
Pairing/Characters: Kibum, OC
Rating: G
Genre: Angst, Tragedy
Type: One-shot/Songfic
Summary: He had hurt her time and again, but this time, looking at her motionless body on the body, he hoped that there would still be a chance for him to mend his mistakes.
Author's Note: I got the idea from SHINee's 차라리 때려/Just Hit Me; don't ask. xP
~ * ~
Just Hit Me
As soon as I open my eyes, I remember
Yesterday's memories come back to me
What should I do, what should I do?
Honestly, I know it's my fault
Because of this stupid thing called pride
I break down every day
When my sharp words cut into your heart
He woke up with a start, and nearly fell off the chair he was currently seated on. Blinking the last of the sleepiness away, he was suddenly aware of the white-washed surroundings he was in. It wasn't until the moment that the strong smell of disinfectants started attacking his sense of smell that he remembered that he was in the hospital. Sleeping by her bedside.
He allowed his eyes to fall onto the girl lying motionlessly on the bed, hearing his heart shattering into a million pieces like how he had shattered hers just a day ago. If it wasn't for the bandages wrapped neatly around her wounds, or the machines surrounding her, beeping away to the rhythm of her heart and matching synchronously with the rise and falls of her chest, she would've been the perfect picture of an angel who was merely asleep. Subconsciously, his hand reached up to brush a strand of hair out of her face, which moved to caress her cheeks seconds later.
He then picked up her hand that lay by her side, and brought it to his cheek, flinching when he had accidently applied too much pressure. His hand reached for the throbbing spot, and that's when the memory of him being punched in the face by her brother returned to him. He winced once again at the memory, but did not hold and grudges against her brother for doing this to him. He fully deserved this treatment.
Holding that supposedly fun comic book in my hand
I read the same chapter over for an hour
Waiting only for your call
Thinking 'bout you, what can I do?
Yesterday afternoon, he had been flipping aimlessly through the pages of the comic book he had bought on a whim after getting into a huge fight with her. Even though it had received plenty of good reviews, he was absolutely disinterested in it. All that had occupied his mind was thoughts of her - the shiny pearls of tears that slowly fell from her eyes when he had uttered those hurtful words to her yet again; the way she covered her mouth to hold in her almost-uncontrollable sobs and ran out through the door of his apartment.
When the familiar ringtone he had set especially for her started to play from the speakers of his phone, he nearly overturned the chair in his excitement. However, when he thought about it, he was supposed to be the one who called her, not the other way round. And when an unfamiliar voice came from the other side of the line, telling him of the bad news about the accident that his girlfriend had been involved in, he felt his whole world crash and burn around him.
Just hit me instead of being mad at me
At least this way, I hope you can feel better
Arguing and growing from them is what love is about
Hit me as much as I had hurt your feelings
Just hit me that much instead
Yes, he would very much rather have her hitting him over and over again, instead of lying motionlessly on the bed. It didn't matter if bruises showed up on every part of his body from the impact. It didn't matter if his cheeks were flushed red from all the slapping she should give him for his idiocy. All he wanted was for her to open her eyes, and though his sins were probably too much to be forgiven, he hoped that she would give him another chance.
He knew that was too much to ask, especially when he had hurt her too many times to be remembered. It was always him, never the other way around. Was this her punishment for him? If it was, he had the urge to tell her that he would very much rather be the one lying in her place right now.
No, our time to breakup isn't coming, right?
I'm thinking to myself, right?
I'm a coward who can't even ask you
A greedy person who can only think for himself
Time and again, she had been hurt by him. He, who always immerses himself in his work, and busied himself with filming and recording sessions. Doing modeling stints for commercials. Album promotions and plays. It had always been him and his job, and hardly any time was spent with her, since after he had finished working, the bed would be his next companion. Still, she held on steadfastly despite being only able to see him once a month. He had asked her to give him some time, and that was precisely what she did. Because they had been lovers since before he debuted.
He knew - there were many times that she was on the verge of giving up on their relationship. He could feel the distance that she would sometimes put between them, but the next time they met, she would be as passionate as ever once again. He never had the courage to ask her for her thoughts, because he was afraid that she would tell him that she wants out. He loved her too much to let her go; but still, it was his career that mattered the most.
This stupid thing called vanity
Told me to wait everyday
That if you came to me first
You would apologize
Now that he thought about it, he had no idea why he wanted her to apologise to him for something that was his fault. She had been extremely pissed off at him yesterday morning for missing her birthday because his filming schedule was delayed, even though he had promised to show up. And it wasn't the first time over the years that he had missed her birthday because of his obsession with his career, either.
But yet, he had called her unreasonable and not being understanding enough… even though the opposite was true. He had lost count of the number of times she had waited up for him just to talk to him on the phone, or came over to his dorm in the middle of the night when he suddenly fell ill… She had sacrificed so much for him, yet he was still ungrateful…
Now he regretted it with all his heart. If only he didn't yell at her… if only he didn't accuse her of being selfish… if only he would focus more on her instead of his career… she wouldn't be lying on the hospital bed, fighting for her life now.
"She looked very spaced-out, and suddenly walked onto the road when a car approached her location…"
The words that were told to him by the police officer who handled the case kept replaying in his mind. It was evident that she was in despair after the argument with him - he knew exactly how she would act whenever she wasn't in the mood to care about the world around her. And it was all his fault.
I want to hold you in my arms
I'm wanting you
I kept saying words that weren't in my heart
Forgive me for causing you pain
Now he could only sit here and wait quietly until she opens her eyes once again.
Pairing/Characters: Kibum, OC
Rating: G
Genre: Angst, Tragedy
Type: One-shot/Songfic
Summary: He had hurt her time and again, but this time, looking at her motionless body on the body, he hoped that there would still be a chance for him to mend his mistakes.
Author's Note: I got the idea from SHINee's 차라리 때려/Just Hit Me; don't ask. xP
~ * ~
Just Hit Me
As soon as I open my eyes, I remember
Yesterday's memories come back to me
What should I do, what should I do?
Honestly, I know it's my fault
Because of this stupid thing called pride
I break down every day
When my sharp words cut into your heart
He woke up with a start, and nearly fell off the chair he was currently seated on. Blinking the last of the sleepiness away, he was suddenly aware of the white-washed surroundings he was in. It wasn't until the moment that the strong smell of disinfectants started attacking his sense of smell that he remembered that he was in the hospital. Sleeping by her bedside.
He allowed his eyes to fall onto the girl lying motionlessly on the bed, hearing his heart shattering into a million pieces like how he had shattered hers just a day ago. If it wasn't for the bandages wrapped neatly around her wounds, or the machines surrounding her, beeping away to the rhythm of her heart and matching synchronously with the rise and falls of her chest, she would've been the perfect picture of an angel who was merely asleep. Subconsciously, his hand reached up to brush a strand of hair out of her face, which moved to caress her cheeks seconds later.
He then picked up her hand that lay by her side, and brought it to his cheek, flinching when he had accidently applied too much pressure. His hand reached for the throbbing spot, and that's when the memory of him being punched in the face by her brother returned to him. He winced once again at the memory, but did not hold and grudges against her brother for doing this to him. He fully deserved this treatment.
Holding that supposedly fun comic book in my hand
I read the same chapter over for an hour
Waiting only for your call
Thinking 'bout you, what can I do?
Yesterday afternoon, he had been flipping aimlessly through the pages of the comic book he had bought on a whim after getting into a huge fight with her. Even though it had received plenty of good reviews, he was absolutely disinterested in it. All that had occupied his mind was thoughts of her - the shiny pearls of tears that slowly fell from her eyes when he had uttered those hurtful words to her yet again; the way she covered her mouth to hold in her almost-uncontrollable sobs and ran out through the door of his apartment.
When the familiar ringtone he had set especially for her started to play from the speakers of his phone, he nearly overturned the chair in his excitement. However, when he thought about it, he was supposed to be the one who called her, not the other way round. And when an unfamiliar voice came from the other side of the line, telling him of the bad news about the accident that his girlfriend had been involved in, he felt his whole world crash and burn around him.
Just hit me instead of being mad at me
At least this way, I hope you can feel better
Arguing and growing from them is what love is about
Hit me as much as I had hurt your feelings
Just hit me that much instead
Yes, he would very much rather have her hitting him over and over again, instead of lying motionlessly on the bed. It didn't matter if bruises showed up on every part of his body from the impact. It didn't matter if his cheeks were flushed red from all the slapping she should give him for his idiocy. All he wanted was for her to open her eyes, and though his sins were probably too much to be forgiven, he hoped that she would give him another chance.
He knew that was too much to ask, especially when he had hurt her too many times to be remembered. It was always him, never the other way around. Was this her punishment for him? If it was, he had the urge to tell her that he would very much rather be the one lying in her place right now.
No, our time to breakup isn't coming, right?
I'm thinking to myself, right?
I'm a coward who can't even ask you
A greedy person who can only think for himself
Time and again, she had been hurt by him. He, who always immerses himself in his work, and busied himself with filming and recording sessions. Doing modeling stints for commercials. Album promotions and plays. It had always been him and his job, and hardly any time was spent with her, since after he had finished working, the bed would be his next companion. Still, she held on steadfastly despite being only able to see him once a month. He had asked her to give him some time, and that was precisely what she did. Because they had been lovers since before he debuted.
He knew - there were many times that she was on the verge of giving up on their relationship. He could feel the distance that she would sometimes put between them, but the next time they met, she would be as passionate as ever once again. He never had the courage to ask her for her thoughts, because he was afraid that she would tell him that she wants out. He loved her too much to let her go; but still, it was his career that mattered the most.
This stupid thing called vanity
Told me to wait everyday
That if you came to me first
You would apologize
Now that he thought about it, he had no idea why he wanted her to apologise to him for something that was his fault. She had been extremely pissed off at him yesterday morning for missing her birthday because his filming schedule was delayed, even though he had promised to show up. And it wasn't the first time over the years that he had missed her birthday because of his obsession with his career, either.
But yet, he had called her unreasonable and not being understanding enough… even though the opposite was true. He had lost count of the number of times she had waited up for him just to talk to him on the phone, or came over to his dorm in the middle of the night when he suddenly fell ill… She had sacrificed so much for him, yet he was still ungrateful…
Now he regretted it with all his heart. If only he didn't yell at her… if only he didn't accuse her of being selfish… if only he would focus more on her instead of his career… she wouldn't be lying on the hospital bed, fighting for her life now.
"She looked very spaced-out, and suddenly walked onto the road when a car approached her location…"
The words that were told to him by the police officer who handled the case kept replaying in his mind. It was evident that she was in despair after the argument with him - he knew exactly how she would act whenever she wasn't in the mood to care about the world around her. And it was all his fault.
I want to hold you in my arms
I'm wanting you
I kept saying words that weren't in my heart
Forgive me for causing you pain
Now he could only sit here and wait quietly until she opens her eyes once again.