[SJFF] With All My Heart - Chapter 3
Title: With All My Heart
Pairing/Characters: Shindong, OC
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Tragedy
Type: Short Story
Summary: One day, Shindong meets a girl that would change his life, possibly forever.
~ * ~
Chapter 3 ~ final
It has been several months since Shindong had started spending most of his free time with Wonshin. He wasn't sure why, but she was the only one who could make him feel so at ease after a stressful day of practicing. Of course, his group members in Super Junior also has that kind of ability, but the difference is, they're guys, and she's a girl. To Shindong, that meant a lot.
He had never been a person who had overflowing confidence in his outer appearance, unlike Heechul who was naturally born pretty. And handsome. Or whichever way the others wanted to perceive him. Sometimes, Shindong thinks that Heechul's good looks were so surreal. But of course, he kept the thoughts to himself, because God knows Heechul doesn't need any more compliments to boost his ego - again, not in a bad way.
The main reason that Shindong was more than glad to spend his time with Wonshin - to the dismay of his group members, who complained that he was hardly at home when they finally get to take a breather from their hectic pre-debut schedules - was because he didn't have to worry about what she thought about his chubby self. He had received far too much snide comments - all mocking his dream to debut as an idol when he's not skinny or remotely as good looking as his other members - to last him for a lifetime. And he certainly didn't want Wonshin to judge him that way, either.
Shindong also oddly liked the way her laugh rings in his ears. Besides being melodious, it was also very carefree, and that was exactly what he needed to calm his mind down when the things piled up in his head and made it pound.
It was only with her, that he could truly forget about everything and enjoy the time wholeheartedly without having to worry about something.
* * * * *
"Donghee oppa, I have something to tell you~" she greeted him brightly when they met up at their usual spot at the bench in the park that was located near SM Entertainment, after Shindong had just finished yet another exhausting day of rehearsals for Super Junior 05's upcoming debut.
"Ah, re- really? What a coincidence, I have something to tell you too…" Shindong blushed, again thankful that she couldn't see it. When the thoughts crossed his mind, he grimaced and reprimanded himself for being grateful about someone else's disability.
In actuality, Shindong had finally mustered up his courage to tell Wonshin about his true feelings towards her - but not after Leeteuk had completely seen through him and gave him a little prep talk about having to take the initiative. He was still rather apprehensive about it, and wasn't quite sure how to go about it in the right way. But something at the back of his mind told him that he had to do it today, no matter what. It was now or never.
"It really is…" her giggles cut through his thoughts, bringing his attention on her once again. A smile crept across his face when he looked at her take in a deep breath, enjoying the cool autumn air that smelled of dry leaves. Deep inside him, there was a rising desire for him to be the one who would protect her from everything that was within his ability, and that calmed him down considerably.
"Why don't you start, Wonshin? Ladies first," he chuckled.
She pondered for a moment, before turning in his direction (he still didn't know how she manages to locate him all the time, to be honest), flashing the most brilliant smile ever. "The doctors told me that they've found a suitable donor…"
"Eh…?" was the only response he could come up with.
She laughed once again, because she thought that he didn't understand her message. "I'm going to be able to see the world soon, Donghee oppa!" Wonshin exclaimed, and gently squeezed his arm after feeling around for it for a short moment. That caused Shindong to blush once again.
"I… I'm glad to hear that, Wonshin," he managed to blurt after several minutes of silence, not knowing how he really felt about her regaining her eyesight after they had been damaged in a fire that she was involved in when she was young. He could vaguely feel that his chest was getting tighter, because he was worried that the special relationship they had built up thus far would crumble into nothing when she could see again.
However, she seemed to have caught on with the reluctance in his tone, because her grasp on his arm loosened. "Oppa, aren't you happy for me?" she asked, the hurt barely concealed in her voice. He panicked when he realized that her voice was trembling.
"No, it's not like that Wonshin. I'm happy for you, I really am…" his own voice trailed off, contemplating whether he should finish his sentence.
"… then what, oppa?" Wonshin whispered softly again. Shindong was surprised that she didn't raise her voice against him, especially after what he had just said.
"I'm… afraid that you wouldn't spend your time with me again after you regain your eyesight."
She cocked her head to the side, evidently confused. "Is there a specific reason why you think I would do so?"
He hesitated once again, but figured out that it would be the best solution if he would just be frank with her. After all the times they had spent together, Shindong could see that Wonshin was a sincere person, so he had no reservations when it comes to telling her how he feels. He knew that she would always offer him a piece of good advice that can sometimes drastically change the way he looks at life.
"Because my appearance might not turn out to be the person that you have in your mind, Wonshin. To be honest, I'm rather chubby, and a lot of people think that I'm not very attractive… I like you, but I don't want to see what we have built together for the past few months go down the drain just like that…" he confessed.
To his surprise, Wonshin started laughing, seemingly amused. "I can't believe that you actually think that I'm such a person, Donghee oppa…" she playfully reprimanded him.
"In fact, I myself can't thank you enough for being so enthusiastic to spend some time with a girl who can't see. If you're not bothered by my disability, I don't see why I should be bothered by your appearance. The most important thing is the feelings that you keep in your heart, oppa. If your heart is attached to something, you will still gravitate towards them no matter what happens, don't you agree?"
Shindong found a smile lighting up his face when he heard what she had to say. True, it was really silly of him to have thought so lowly about the same girl who showed him how to look at the world in a different perspective. His silent reverie was disrupted when he felt a hand on his chest, right above his heart that started to thump harder at the contact.
"I'm glad you have that kind of feelings for me right here, Donghee oppa," she smiled at him, and his heart raced even faster. Shindong turned a deep shade of red when he realized that she could feel the crazy rhythm that his heart had at this very moment, and reflexively removed her hand from his chest wall and held it in his.
"Ah- ahh… It's okay if you don't reciprocate my feelings, Wonshin. I perfectly understand…" Shindong tried to laugh it off nervously. It's okay if you reject me like they always do, he silently added, and his heart ached at the thought.
Shindong jumped in surprise again when her hand wriggled free of his grasp, and moved to cup his cheek tenderly. How on earth does she manage to find the exact location of my face anyway?, he found himself thinking, but couldn't really be bothered. His mind was fuzzy right now, what with the confession he had just unknowingly blurted out to her, and the way she's making his heart beat erratically. It was hard for him to even stay in focus right now.
"You're silly, oppa. I like you too, with all my heart. Just like how you feel about me right now," she smiled shyly, and he noticed that a blush had crept up her face, tinting it with a rosy pink shade.
{C}{C}* * * * *{C}{C}
However, the thought that the moment was the very last one they would truly share together never crossed Shindong's mind. He really thought they had a future together, but destiny was cruel. She had insistently refused his offer to walk home with her that evening since he was tired from practice, and she saw him off before she left the park. As the distance between them increased, he started to feel really uneasy, but couldn't pinpoint the cause of his anxiety. He brushed it off as the side effects from being stressful for far too long.
Shindong realized that he should've trusted his sixth sense, because the moment he reached the crosswalk, a loud bang came from behind - from the direction of the entrance of the park. Wonshin was the only thing that his mind managed to scream, and he made a mad dash in a retrograde direction.
He slumped to his knees, eyes widened in disbelief at the scene, where Wonshin was lying motionlessly in a pool of blood. The driver that caused the accident came out of his car, looking bewilderedly at the accident he had just caused. "Oh my God, oh my God…" he kept on repeating like a broken record, but did not perform any further actions.
That touched a nerve in Shindong, because he instantly lost his cool. "Call the ambulance instead of standing there like an idiot, you bastard!" he yelled, causing the driver to jump in shock. Shindong ran to Wonshin's side, and scooped her up from the pool of her own blood, placing her gently on his lap.
"Wonshin, hang in there… I know you're a strong girl, and you can get through this just fine… Just hang in there…" Shindong whispered furiously, shaking her lightly in order to keep her consciousness intact.
His breath hitched when Wonshin flashed him yet another smile that he loved to see, cupping his face with her non-bloodied hand. "Donghee oppa… you know that I've never regretted knowing you… right…?" she wheezed, coughing out some of the blood that had collected in her throat.
"Don't say things like that, Wonshin… you're going to be alright, damn it," he hissed again, getting more and more frustrated by the second.
She shook her head weakly. "You and I… both know that… this is our last meeting, oppa…"
Wonshin had completely spoken his mind. And he hated that fact. But there was nothing he could do, holding her in his arms with her life slowly ebbing away. "I love you, Wonshin… I really do…"
"I love you too, oppa… I'll… always be with you… in your heart… That's my promise…" her words slowly decreased into nothing but a mere whisper, and finally her body went limp as the ambulance finally rolled in to the site of the accident.
And there was nothing that Shindong could do but to weep openly at the loss of a person that was so dear to him.
Pairing/Characters: Shindong, OC
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Tragedy
Type: Short Story
Summary: One day, Shindong meets a girl that would change his life, possibly forever.
~ * ~
Chapter 3 ~ final
It has been several months since Shindong had started spending most of his free time with Wonshin. He wasn't sure why, but she was the only one who could make him feel so at ease after a stressful day of practicing. Of course, his group members in Super Junior also has that kind of ability, but the difference is, they're guys, and she's a girl. To Shindong, that meant a lot.
He had never been a person who had overflowing confidence in his outer appearance, unlike Heechul who was naturally born pretty. And handsome. Or whichever way the others wanted to perceive him. Sometimes, Shindong thinks that Heechul's good looks were so surreal. But of course, he kept the thoughts to himself, because God knows Heechul doesn't need any more compliments to boost his ego - again, not in a bad way.
The main reason that Shindong was more than glad to spend his time with Wonshin - to the dismay of his group members, who complained that he was hardly at home when they finally get to take a breather from their hectic pre-debut schedules - was because he didn't have to worry about what she thought about his chubby self. He had received far too much snide comments - all mocking his dream to debut as an idol when he's not skinny or remotely as good looking as his other members - to last him for a lifetime. And he certainly didn't want Wonshin to judge him that way, either.
Shindong also oddly liked the way her laugh rings in his ears. Besides being melodious, it was also very carefree, and that was exactly what he needed to calm his mind down when the things piled up in his head and made it pound.
It was only with her, that he could truly forget about everything and enjoy the time wholeheartedly without having to worry about something.
* * * * *
"Donghee oppa, I have something to tell you~" she greeted him brightly when they met up at their usual spot at the bench in the park that was located near SM Entertainment, after Shindong had just finished yet another exhausting day of rehearsals for Super Junior 05's upcoming debut.
"Ah, re- really? What a coincidence, I have something to tell you too…" Shindong blushed, again thankful that she couldn't see it. When the thoughts crossed his mind, he grimaced and reprimanded himself for being grateful about someone else's disability.
In actuality, Shindong had finally mustered up his courage to tell Wonshin about his true feelings towards her - but not after Leeteuk had completely seen through him and gave him a little prep talk about having to take the initiative. He was still rather apprehensive about it, and wasn't quite sure how to go about it in the right way. But something at the back of his mind told him that he had to do it today, no matter what. It was now or never.
"It really is…" her giggles cut through his thoughts, bringing his attention on her once again. A smile crept across his face when he looked at her take in a deep breath, enjoying the cool autumn air that smelled of dry leaves. Deep inside him, there was a rising desire for him to be the one who would protect her from everything that was within his ability, and that calmed him down considerably.
"Why don't you start, Wonshin? Ladies first," he chuckled.
She pondered for a moment, before turning in his direction (he still didn't know how she manages to locate him all the time, to be honest), flashing the most brilliant smile ever. "The doctors told me that they've found a suitable donor…"
"Eh…?" was the only response he could come up with.
She laughed once again, because she thought that he didn't understand her message. "I'm going to be able to see the world soon, Donghee oppa!" Wonshin exclaimed, and gently squeezed his arm after feeling around for it for a short moment. That caused Shindong to blush once again.
"I… I'm glad to hear that, Wonshin," he managed to blurt after several minutes of silence, not knowing how he really felt about her regaining her eyesight after they had been damaged in a fire that she was involved in when she was young. He could vaguely feel that his chest was getting tighter, because he was worried that the special relationship they had built up thus far would crumble into nothing when she could see again.
However, she seemed to have caught on with the reluctance in his tone, because her grasp on his arm loosened. "Oppa, aren't you happy for me?" she asked, the hurt barely concealed in her voice. He panicked when he realized that her voice was trembling.
"No, it's not like that Wonshin. I'm happy for you, I really am…" his own voice trailed off, contemplating whether he should finish his sentence.
"… then what, oppa?" Wonshin whispered softly again. Shindong was surprised that she didn't raise her voice against him, especially after what he had just said.
"I'm… afraid that you wouldn't spend your time with me again after you regain your eyesight."
She cocked her head to the side, evidently confused. "Is there a specific reason why you think I would do so?"
He hesitated once again, but figured out that it would be the best solution if he would just be frank with her. After all the times they had spent together, Shindong could see that Wonshin was a sincere person, so he had no reservations when it comes to telling her how he feels. He knew that she would always offer him a piece of good advice that can sometimes drastically change the way he looks at life.
"Because my appearance might not turn out to be the person that you have in your mind, Wonshin. To be honest, I'm rather chubby, and a lot of people think that I'm not very attractive… I like you, but I don't want to see what we have built together for the past few months go down the drain just like that…" he confessed.
To his surprise, Wonshin started laughing, seemingly amused. "I can't believe that you actually think that I'm such a person, Donghee oppa…" she playfully reprimanded him.
"In fact, I myself can't thank you enough for being so enthusiastic to spend some time with a girl who can't see. If you're not bothered by my disability, I don't see why I should be bothered by your appearance. The most important thing is the feelings that you keep in your heart, oppa. If your heart is attached to something, you will still gravitate towards them no matter what happens, don't you agree?"
Shindong found a smile lighting up his face when he heard what she had to say. True, it was really silly of him to have thought so lowly about the same girl who showed him how to look at the world in a different perspective. His silent reverie was disrupted when he felt a hand on his chest, right above his heart that started to thump harder at the contact.
"I'm glad you have that kind of feelings for me right here, Donghee oppa," she smiled at him, and his heart raced even faster. Shindong turned a deep shade of red when he realized that she could feel the crazy rhythm that his heart had at this very moment, and reflexively removed her hand from his chest wall and held it in his.
"Ah- ahh… It's okay if you don't reciprocate my feelings, Wonshin. I perfectly understand…" Shindong tried to laugh it off nervously. It's okay if you reject me like they always do, he silently added, and his heart ached at the thought.
Shindong jumped in surprise again when her hand wriggled free of his grasp, and moved to cup his cheek tenderly. How on earth does she manage to find the exact location of my face anyway?, he found himself thinking, but couldn't really be bothered. His mind was fuzzy right now, what with the confession he had just unknowingly blurted out to her, and the way she's making his heart beat erratically. It was hard for him to even stay in focus right now.
"You're silly, oppa. I like you too, with all my heart. Just like how you feel about me right now," she smiled shyly, and he noticed that a blush had crept up her face, tinting it with a rosy pink shade.
{C}{C}* * * * *{C}{C}
However, the thought that the moment was the very last one they would truly share together never crossed Shindong's mind. He really thought they had a future together, but destiny was cruel. She had insistently refused his offer to walk home with her that evening since he was tired from practice, and she saw him off before she left the park. As the distance between them increased, he started to feel really uneasy, but couldn't pinpoint the cause of his anxiety. He brushed it off as the side effects from being stressful for far too long.
Shindong realized that he should've trusted his sixth sense, because the moment he reached the crosswalk, a loud bang came from behind - from the direction of the entrance of the park. Wonshin was the only thing that his mind managed to scream, and he made a mad dash in a retrograde direction.
He slumped to his knees, eyes widened in disbelief at the scene, where Wonshin was lying motionlessly in a pool of blood. The driver that caused the accident came out of his car, looking bewilderedly at the accident he had just caused. "Oh my God, oh my God…" he kept on repeating like a broken record, but did not perform any further actions.
That touched a nerve in Shindong, because he instantly lost his cool. "Call the ambulance instead of standing there like an idiot, you bastard!" he yelled, causing the driver to jump in shock. Shindong ran to Wonshin's side, and scooped her up from the pool of her own blood, placing her gently on his lap.
"Wonshin, hang in there… I know you're a strong girl, and you can get through this just fine… Just hang in there…" Shindong whispered furiously, shaking her lightly in order to keep her consciousness intact.
His breath hitched when Wonshin flashed him yet another smile that he loved to see, cupping his face with her non-bloodied hand. "Donghee oppa… you know that I've never regretted knowing you… right…?" she wheezed, coughing out some of the blood that had collected in her throat.
"Don't say things like that, Wonshin… you're going to be alright, damn it," he hissed again, getting more and more frustrated by the second.
She shook her head weakly. "You and I… both know that… this is our last meeting, oppa…"
Wonshin had completely spoken his mind. And he hated that fact. But there was nothing he could do, holding her in his arms with her life slowly ebbing away. "I love you, Wonshin… I really do…"
"I love you too, oppa… I'll… always be with you… in your heart… That's my promise…" her words slowly decreased into nothing but a mere whisper, and finally her body went limp as the ambulance finally rolled in to the site of the accident.
And there was nothing that Shindong could do but to weep openly at the loss of a person that was so dear to him.