House-Hunt Heats Up Then Cools Off / 2nd Anniversary / Upset Mom!
Nicole and I spent October house-hunting. We found a realtor who seems like an outgoing wonderful person. Through that, we found a second loan officer and after submitting a mountain of paperwork, we got a second pre-approval for exactly the same amounts as the first from September. Now the heat is on to actually find a house! I mean, it's not like we're under the gun or anything; we have months and months but it sucks to simply just have to wait for the right house to come along. The market is cooling off and there are fewer homes available this time of year so it's somewhat slow. Our realtor is thankfully optimistic and excited so it really is just a question of time at this point. Just waiting...
Because of the house-hunt, we didn't really do much for our second wedding anniversary earlier this month. Until now I was trying to make it a thing where every year on our anniversary, we'd go on a week-long couple's retreat vacation to somewhere new and scenic and private. It was going to be something to look forward to year after year but this year is special because of the timing. The plan is to get into a house before the end of the year (Likely? Unlikely? Who knows) then do our anniversary trip in the late winter or early spring. We'll see. Regardless, we did have a nice anniversary out with the help of a friend who watched our dog. Looking forward to the re-do next year!
For a month now, there's been a little dust-up within my immediate family that's left my mother not speaking to me. It kind of began back in April when my mom complained that she couldn't handle watching mine and my siblings' dogs as long as she had agreed to. At the time, she had been hosting our dog, Chip, a week or two at a time every month for over a year without complaint so it was a surprise to hear she'd been struggling. We immediately apologized for any offense and offered to greatly rollback the amount of time pets were over there. Everyone agreed on a much easier schedule and things seemed good...
Fast forward to now and it looks like my mom finally reached her limit. We found out that she's been secretly bottling up resentment all this time until it blew up recently. She claimed that we never thanked her enough for watching our pets all this time and that to her it seemed like we only ever came around to trade pets. She wanted to see us more often for quality time but wouldn't be direct about it; just wanted us to pschycicly know to make the hour-long drive several times a week. There's more to it than that but again I turned the other cheek by trying to level with her and come to new terms so things were easier for her. One of our agreements was to relieve her completely of the "burden" of watching Chip. Until we get into a house, dealing with Chip 24/7 is a hardship, but it's our responsibility and we'll do it. Peace seemed restored.
But it lasted only a couple weeks. One morning we were talking about the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday and how Nicole and I are driving down to California to spend the week with her family. My mom asked what we were doing with Chip and when I said we're going to try out boarding him, she blew up anew and used a derogatory spelling of my name before saying goodbye to everyone and leaving the family group chat. Even though I did nothing wrong except answer her question, my siblings and I believe my mom overreacted because that even though she's already proven that she can't handle watching our pets, she took it personally that I would rather spend the money to board Chip than offer to let her watch him over Thanksgiving. We all agreed it was for the best that she not watch our dog anymore and we had to do something with Chip that week as we can't take him with us.
It's such a mess. I haven't spoken to my mom since this latest event and this time I don't know how long it's going to go on. I get that she's unhappy that her busy children who live far away don't visit often and that her long struggle with crippling anxiety keeps her tied to that house, but I can't save everyone. I also don't have the time right now what with the house hunt and my new engineering job starting this week and finding out Nicole's sister broke off her engagement plus now having Chip full-time. It's a crazy time for me right now. Hopefully getting out of town for Thanksgiving will mellow everyone out and by the time I write my next entry, things will have settled down.
Because of the house-hunt, we didn't really do much for our second wedding anniversary earlier this month. Until now I was trying to make it a thing where every year on our anniversary, we'd go on a week-long couple's retreat vacation to somewhere new and scenic and private. It was going to be something to look forward to year after year but this year is special because of the timing. The plan is to get into a house before the end of the year (Likely? Unlikely? Who knows) then do our anniversary trip in the late winter or early spring. We'll see. Regardless, we did have a nice anniversary out with the help of a friend who watched our dog. Looking forward to the re-do next year!
For a month now, there's been a little dust-up within my immediate family that's left my mother not speaking to me. It kind of began back in April when my mom complained that she couldn't handle watching mine and my siblings' dogs as long as she had agreed to. At the time, she had been hosting our dog, Chip, a week or two at a time every month for over a year without complaint so it was a surprise to hear she'd been struggling. We immediately apologized for any offense and offered to greatly rollback the amount of time pets were over there. Everyone agreed on a much easier schedule and things seemed good...
Fast forward to now and it looks like my mom finally reached her limit. We found out that she's been secretly bottling up resentment all this time until it blew up recently. She claimed that we never thanked her enough for watching our pets all this time and that to her it seemed like we only ever came around to trade pets. She wanted to see us more often for quality time but wouldn't be direct about it; just wanted us to pschycicly know to make the hour-long drive several times a week. There's more to it than that but again I turned the other cheek by trying to level with her and come to new terms so things were easier for her. One of our agreements was to relieve her completely of the "burden" of watching Chip. Until we get into a house, dealing with Chip 24/7 is a hardship, but it's our responsibility and we'll do it. Peace seemed restored.
But it lasted only a couple weeks. One morning we were talking about the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday and how Nicole and I are driving down to California to spend the week with her family. My mom asked what we were doing with Chip and when I said we're going to try out boarding him, she blew up anew and used a derogatory spelling of my name before saying goodbye to everyone and leaving the family group chat. Even though I did nothing wrong except answer her question, my siblings and I believe my mom overreacted because that even though she's already proven that she can't handle watching our pets, she took it personally that I would rather spend the money to board Chip than offer to let her watch him over Thanksgiving. We all agreed it was for the best that she not watch our dog anymore and we had to do something with Chip that week as we can't take him with us.
It's such a mess. I haven't spoken to my mom since this latest event and this time I don't know how long it's going to go on. I get that she's unhappy that her busy children who live far away don't visit often and that her long struggle with crippling anxiety keeps her tied to that house, but I can't save everyone. I also don't have the time right now what with the house hunt and my new engineering job starting this week and finding out Nicole's sister broke off her engagement plus now having Chip full-time. It's a crazy time for me right now. Hopefully getting out of town for Thanksgiving will mellow everyone out and by the time I write my next entry, things will have settled down.