Wayfaring Sons, part two
Wayfaring Sons, Part One
He wakes up to the sound of seagulls and cars honking. Jensen's kissing his ear and lazily stroking his nipples.
"Bet I can make you come in ten minutes," Jensen says.
Jared grins and looks at the clock. "Seven eighteen," he says. "You're on." He loves it when Jensen does this because either way, he wins.
Jensen grins back and slides beneath the covers and Jared's eyes flutter closed. Jensen kisses his stomach and then his mouth is hot around Jared's cock.
Jared flips the blankets down. He lasts longer when he doesn't watch but sometimes, he just can't resist. Jensen's eyes are closed, his eyelashes dark against his cheekbones, his full mouth wrapped around Jared's cock. He lets it slip out of his mouth, cradles it in his hand as he kisses it, working it to full hardness.
"Jen," Jared whispers, reaching down to stroke his hair.
Jensen opens his eyes, smiles up at Jared and parts his lips, taking the head of Jared's cock into his mouth. He suckles on it, never breaking eye contact, and Jared can't hold back his groan.
Jensen pulls back, swipes his tongue over the tip. "Love the way you taste," he whispers. He dips his head, nuzzles against Jared's balls. "Love your smell."
"No fair." Jared's voice is shaky. "No fair talking."
Jensen smiles again, kisses his way up the underside of Jared's shaft. "You like hearing me talk, Jay? You like it when I tell you how much I love your cock?"
Jared whimpers and his hips give a little jerk.
Jensen hums happily, his eyes slitted, his grin smutty. "Yeah," he whispers, "love your fat cock, Jay. Love it down my throat, love it when you grab me by the hair and fuck my mouth, love working it until my jaw aches, so fucking big, tastes so fucking good."
Jared tips his head back on the pillow, covers his face with his hands and gasps when Jensen takes him in again. He's not going to last, he knows it, not with Jensen's mouth so tight and hot around him, his hand stroking and squeezing Jared's balls just right, the memory of his words swirling through Jared's head.
Jensen's fingers slip down and he strokes Jared's hole lightly. Jared groans and feels a heavy ache deep in the pit of his stomach. He's done it before, and every time Jensen touches him there, Jared shakes apart. He parts his legs, arches his hips up so Jensen has better access. Jensen's moaning, the vibrations shooting through Jared's cock, and when he lifts his head to look he sees Jensen's hips rocking, so turned on he's grinding against the mattress.
Jared comes with a soft cry, his fingers tightening in Jensen's hair. Once he's finished shaking, he glances at the clock. Seven twenty-three. It hadn't even been a contest.
"Winner, and still the champion!" Jensen cries, shooting his fists up into the air.
Jared surges forward and tackles him, kisses him hard. It's hot and a little strange to taste his own come on Jensen's lips. He's not sure if he'll ever get used to it. "You don't win every time," he says.
"Close enough," Jensen says, arching up and rubbing his hard cock against Jared's hip.
Jared's stomach growls and both of them laugh.
"I'd say you were hungry for it, but unfortunately, I know better," Jensen says.
Jared grips Jensen's hair and kisses him hard. "You can fuck me if you want," he says and Jensen comes with a surprised gasp.
"Fuck," Jensen pants after it's over. "You can't just say stuff like that without warning me first."
"Don't you want to?" Jared asks.
"Well, yeah, but I wasn't expecting you to say it."
Jared's stomach growls again. "See? I'm hungry for it."
Jensen laughs and kisses his nose. "You’re hungry for breakfast."
"That, too, but I...I don't know. It's, like, what people do, right?"
"Some people." Jensen pushes him off. "Christ, you're heavy. And is this about your parents?"
Jared groans. "No fair. You're not allowed to bring up my parents when we're naked."
"I'll keep that under advisement. Come on. I've already scoped out the place for coffee shops. There's one a few blocks away that serves breakfast, too. I'll grab a quick shower and then we'll go."
"OK," says Jared. He props himself up on one elbow and watches Jensen stand up and walk towards the bathroom. He loves looking at Jensen naked.
He flops back down for a few minutes, gazes up at the ceiling and listens to the ocean and the seagulls and the light traffic. Then he gets up and follows Jensen into the bathroom. They've never been able to shower together before. He steps into the shower behind Jensen and kisses the nape of his neck.
"Is this the part where I make a joke about dropping the soap?" Jensen asks.
"Mmm-hmm." Jared takes the body wash and lathers it up in his hands, slides his hands over Jensen's back. It's slick and the water is hot and Jensen's skin feels amazing. He glides his hands up his back, down his arms, back up again. He moves closer and slides his hands around to soap up Jensen's stomach and chest.
"Are you washing me or feeling me up?" Jensen asks breathlessly.
"Little bit of both." Jared slides his hands down, cups Jensen's balls in one hand and slides his soapy fingers down Jensen's cock.
Jensen hisses in air through his teeth. "Still sensitive," he whispers. "Not everyone has your three second refraction time."
"Love touching you."
Jensen turns and leans up to kiss him. "I love you," he murmurs, then stills and pulls back. He looks away and his cheeks are dark pink. "I, um," he says. Neither one of them has ever said it before.
"I love you, too," Jared tells him, pulling Jensen back towards him. They rest their foreheads together and Jared can't stop smiling. "I have for a long time."
Jensen nods, his hands resting on Jared's hips. "Yeah," he whispers.
They hold on to each other for a long time, swaying a bit beneath the warm spray. Then Jensen presses his face to Jared's neck and groans. "I really need coffee," he says.
Jared laughs and squeezes Jensen tight before letting him go. They finish showering and get dried and dressed and head out in search of food.
The morning air is cool and smells of salt. Jensen's walking the same way he does when they trudge to the dining hall in the mornings, hands stuffed in his pockets, eyes open just enough to see where he's going. Jared grins and bumps his shoulder and Jensen smiles just a bit and bumps back.
It's only a few blocks to the coffee shop Jensen had in mind. They've got a huge breakfast menu and Jared gets waffles and eggs and bacon and coffee and Jensen just gets an egg-white omelet, coffee, and a cup of hot water. He drinks a cup of kava tea every day. It's supposed to help with his anxiety, and while Jared doesn't know if it helps or not, he knows that it smells like feet. It smells like feet and it tastes like feet sprinkled with cinnamon. He's only ever had one sip.
"How's your stewed feet?" Jared asks after adding lots of sugar and cream to his coffee. When he wants to impress people he pretends to drink it black, but he's beyond needing to impress Jensen. Besides, having to pretend he didn't want cream and sugar every single morning would suck.
"You get used to it," Jensen tells him. He finishes his coffee first, then sips his tea and picks at his omelet. Jensen's not really a breakfast person. Jared's mama's always told him that--
Jared puts his fork down and concentrates on swallowing the strawberry-covered waffle in his mouth.
"Jared?" Jensen asks, leaning forward. "You all right?"
Jared swallows the bite in his mouth and breathes. "She couldn't look me in the eye," he says softly.
Jensen sighs. "Fuck, Jay."
"She'll come around," he says dully, as if saying it aloud will make it true. "Daddy's good with it. Maybe not good. I don't know. He's not trying to argue with me, anyway. He doesn't hate me."
"She doesn't hate you either."
Jared shrugs.
"Jay, seriously. I've met your mother. She doesn't hate anybody, especially not you. She might be in shock, but she doesn't hate you. Look, my parents were not surprised this time. They'd had years to get used to the idea and pretty much knew what I was going to say before I said it, and they were still devastated. I have faith in them, though, that they'll understand one day. Coming out's not just a one time thing, you know? It's a process." He reaches across the table and squeezes Jared's hand. "You'll get through it, and so will they. I've seen how much they love you."
"Yeah," Jared says softly. He feels a little better. "After breakfast, you wanna go back to the room and spend all day in bed?"
Jensen looks amused. "I'm sure that can be arranged."
"Not even, I mean of course I want to have sex, but I just...I wanna be close to you right now."
Jensen strokes his thumb over the top of Jared's hand. "Yeah."
Jared enjoys the rest of his waffles and eggs and Jensen even steals a slice of his bacon. They're walking back to the hotel when Jared spies a drugstore. He thinks about going inside, then thinks maybe not.
"Oh, hey," says Jensen suddenly. "I gotta go say hi to somebody."
Jared says, "Yeah, all right. I need to get some toothpaste." It's a lie, but Jensen doesn't pick up on it.
He says, "I'll be right over there," and points to a group of girls sitting at a table at an outdoor café across the street.
Jared ducks into the drugstore, makes his purchases quick and refuses to feel embarrassed, then comes out and lopes across the street. The girl Jensen is talking to is tall and blonde and drop-dead gorgeous.
She's laughing at something and her eyes flick over towards Jared and she smiles. She's got a beautiful smile and Jared's knees feel a little weak because, yes, he's in love with Jensen, but he's still human. "Hey," he says.
"Hey," says Jensen. "Um, Adrianne, this is Jared. My roommate. This is Adrianne. We went to high school together." He puts his hands in his pockets and seems uncomfortable.
Jared shakes her hand. "Hi," he says.
"We're heading to the water park," she says, looking from him to Jensen. "If you want you come." She smiles and bites her lower lip and Jared realizes that she's flirting. With his boyfriend. He'd feel jealous if he wasn't so sure he had nothing to worry about.
"We actually have plans already," Jared tells her.
Adrianne pouts a little bit and, yeah, the way she licks her lips and looks at them pleadingly is pretty fucking hot. Then he notices Jensen move away from him--not much, but enough so that they're far enough apart no one would think they were dating. Combined with the worry about his family, it makes him feel like shit, though he tells himself he's being stupid. It's not like either one of them has to get, "I like cock," tattooed on their foreheads.
"We'll catch up with you later," Jensen says. "I've got your number in my phone, so..."
"Yeah, definitely," she says, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She jumps up and pulls Jensen into a hug. "It was so amazing running into you last night. I missed you."
"Yeah," Jensen says. He hugs her back awkwardly. "Um, bye."
"Bye," she says with a little wave. Jared doesn't get a hug.
Once they're out of earshot, Jared looks over at Jensen and says, "She looooves you."
"Shut up," says Jensen, ducking his head down and blushing a little bit.
"She wants to have your baaabies," Jared croons.
Jensen laughs and shakes his head.
"You know, you could have just told her I was your boyfriend."
Jensen sighs. "It's kind of complicated."
"Really? Because I just came out to my entire family and my mama's probably still crying, so--"
"Hey," Jensen says, reaching out to touch him. "It's not...I know. I know you did that for me--"
"I did it for me, actually. And for them. They deserve to know who I am."
"My parents are still freaked out and they don't want people knowing, yet. If I told Adrianne, she'd tell her parents who'd tell their friends who are my parents' friends and...it's kind of fucked up."
"It's really fucked up," Jared says. "I thought you didn't want to hide this. I thought your whole deal when we started was that you didn't want to be somebody's dirty little secret. And I get why you don't want to be that because it sucks."
"I'm not," Jensen says. He sighs. "You're not my dirty little secret."
"I kind of felt like it back there."
"Look, I'll tell her. I'll go back and tell her right now." He turns and Jared reaches out to grab his arm.
"You don't have to go back and tell her. I'm just, I'm tense. I know this is harder for you in a lot of ways than it is for me."
"It shouldn't be," Jensen says softly. "I know it shouldn't be."
"I didn't grow up being told every Sunday that it was a sin," Jared says.
Jensen reaches up and strokes Jared's hair. "Not every Sunday," he says with a shrug.
"Enough."
Jensen nods, then leans up to kiss him.
Jared pulls back. "She's still just down the street. What if she sees us?"
"Fuck it," Jensen says and kisses him anyway. "I'm tired of hiding," he says against Jared's mouth. "I've done it for so long that I don't even think about it anymore. But I don't mean to hide you. Everybody who matters to me knows."
"I know," Jared says. He pulls away and tugs Jensen by the hand back towards the hotel. He has a plan.
Once they get back to the room, Jared hangs the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door, shuts it, then locks the deadbolt and attaches the security chain.
"I don't know what Chad's got planned for today, going into Mexico for more beer, probably," Jensen says. He kicks his shoes off and flops down onto the bed. "For as skinny as he is, he can put away a hell of a lot of alcohol." He pats the bed next to him. "Come here."
Jared crosses the room, tosses his drugstore bag onto the bed next to Jensen, then closes the sliding glass door and pulls the blackout curtains shut.
"Nap time?" Jensen asks with a yawn. "Seriously, vacation's exhausting."
"Look in the bag," Jared tells him.
"At your toothpaste?" Jensen asks, but he's already reaching for the bag. He looks inside and raises his eyebrows. "Not toothpaste."
"No."
Jensen pulls out the lube and condoms. "You're serious about this."
Jared takes his shirt off, tosses it onto the unused bed. "Yeah."
"Right now?"
"Right now."
"Um," says Jensen. "All right." He pushes himself up to kneel and takes off his t-shirt, starts unfastening his jeans. He looks up at Jared who's doing the same thing. "You, uh, you sure you don't want it to be more romantic or something?"
"I'm sure," Jared tells him. He pushes his jeans down leaves them in a pile on the floor. By the time he crawls across the bed, Jensen's got his belt undone and his fly open.
"Because we can..." Jensen's eyes flutter closed when Jared reaches into his fly and strokes his half-hard cock. "We can dim the lights if you want. Put on music. I don't...oh, fuck." He arches into Jared's touch.
"This is good, just like this," Jared whispers. He watches the flush bloom high on Jensen's cheekbones. It's so amazing to watch, to know that he's the one that turns Jensen on so much, to know he's the one giving Jensen so much pleasure.
"Wait," says Jensen. He puts his hand on Jared's arm. "Just, just wait."
"What?" Jared asks. "What's wrong?"
"What happened to you just wanting to be close to me today?"
Jared grins and leans forward to kiss him. "I want to be really close to you," he whispers. He squeezes Jensen's cock again, slides his thumb over the tip.
Jensen moans and bucks into his hand. "Yeah. OK," he says. He leans back far enough to take his shirt off, then reaches into Jared's boxers and begins to stroke him. "Get naked," he whispers in Jared's ear.
Jared pushes his boxers down, stretches out on the bed, slides his hand down his stomach and wraps his fingers around his cock. He strokes himself while Jensen pulls his own clothes off.
"Love watching you," Jensen says as he opens the box of condoms. "So fucking sexy, Jay."
Jared flushes hot the way he always does when he knows Jensen's watching him touch himself.
Jensen grins at him as he peels the anti-tamper plastic off the top of the lube bottle. "You sure you just don't want me to suck you off?"
"Cock slut," Jared says, making Jensen laugh.
"You ready?" Jensen asks him.
"Yeah," he says, suddenly nervous. He stretches out on his stomach and waits. His heart is thumping hard in his chest. He's not quite sure how this works, if Jensen's just going to climb on top of him and start fucking or what.
"Here," Jensen whispers, his hand gentle on Jared's hip. He eases Jared onto his side, smoothes his hand up and down Jared's thigh before pushing his top leg forward. He presses close against Jared's back, and Jared's just about to ask why they're not going to fuck when he feels Jensen's hard cock brush against his ass. Oh. Oh, they're going to do it like that, like spoons.
"I'm just going to touch you," Jensen whispers and his fingers, slick with lube, slide from Jared's thigh, over his ass, and down into the crease. "I'll tell you before I push inside, OK?"
"Yeah," Jared whispers. Jensen's fingers are circling the tight ring of muscle, massaging it. Every time it fills him with an aching need for more. "Do it."
"Give yourself time to get used to it."
Jared slides his thigh up further, cants his hips. "Fuck. Want it so bad."
Jensen makes a soft sound close to a growl and kisses the small of Jared's back. "Oh," he says, kissing his way up Jared's spine, "you're gonna get it."
Jared smiles and rocks back against Jensen's touch.
"I take it you're ready," Jensen says.
Jared nods, and when Jensen's finger slides inside it feels a little weird, but it doesn't hurt the way he'd been expecting it to.
"All right?" Jensen asks.
"Yeah. It's kinda...strange."
Jensen's finger slides in slow and easy, and then he presses against something that's so good it makes Jared's toes curl.
"Nice, huh?" he asks.
Jared gasps and nods. "Good," he says.
Jensen finger fucks him slow for a long time, kissing his back and shoulders and whispering soft words.
"I'm gonna try two fingers," Jensen tells him.
"'kay."
It's a tighter fight and it aches a little bit, but it's a good ache.
"Remember to breathe," Jensen tells him.
Jared hadn't even known he'd been holding his breath. He breathes and bites his lower lip as Jensen works his fingers deeper inside. He's so turned on he's shaking. Jensen murmurs endearments and kisses the back of his neck and his ear and his jaw.
"Doing all right?" he asks.
Jared nods again. He doesn't know if he can talk.
"Tell me if you're all right, Jay."
"Fuck," he gasps. "Want it so bad."
"I know, baby. I know. But you have to tell me how you're doing."
"Good. It's good."
"You're so hot inside, baby. God, can't wait to be inside you."
"Don't wait," Jared moans.
"You're not--"
"I'm ready. I'm ready, Jen, fuck, just do it."
He feels Jensen shiver against him, then slowly pull his fingers out. Jared groans at the loss, takes a deep breath when he hears the crinkle of the condom wrapper.
"You sure?" Jensen asks, but he's already pressing the tip of his cock to Jared's hole.
"Yeah."
Jensen pushes inside slowly and it's too much. It's not pain like Jared expected, not like he's being ripped open, but he's too full, the muscles in his stomach protesting.
"You all right?" Jensen asks softly.
Jared nods. "Yeah." His voice is thick with what he hopes Jensen will interpret as desire.
Jensen stops moving, kisses the back of his neck, runs his hand up and down Jared's arm. "It's OK," he murmurs. "Just breathe."
Jared nods again. He closes his eyes and breathes.
"Give yourself a little while to get used to it. Do you want me to stop?"
"No." Jared takes a few deep breaths, then nods. "It's OK."
Jensen starts moving again, sliding in slow. It's uncomfortable and strange but Jared breathes through it and the discomfort wanes. It starts to feel nice, even, and Jensen's hand is squeezing and pulling on his cock.
"Oh," says Jared, surprised, when he feels pleasure slice through him.
"Good?" Jensen asks.
"Yeah," he whispers. He fists the sheets in his hand and shudders when the sensation goes from too much to not enough. "More. Oh, God..."
Jensen's breath is hot against the side of his neck. He nuzzles at Jared's jaw. "Hey."
Jared turns his head so they can kiss.
"Love you, Jay," Jensen whispers.
Jared nods. He can't keep his eyes open and he reaches back, slides his hand over Jensen's hip to pull him closer.
"What do you need, baby?"
"More. Just...oh, oh God, just...don't stop, OK?"
"I won't."
"Don't stop ever," Jared moans. "This is...fuck, Jen, so good." He wants to talk, feels like he should, wants to tell Jensen what he's feeling and how amazing it is but he can't find the words. "Oh, God," he whispers over and over again.
"I got you," Jensen tells him.
Every time Jensen pulls out, the loss of him aches, and every time he pushes back in, Jared feels like he's shaking apart. He's so close and he doesn't want to come, doesn't want it to end. He grabs Jensen's wrist, pulls Jensen's hand away from his cock and holds it tight against his chest instead. Jensen kisses his shoulder and his neck and his jaw over and over again.
He holds on for as long as he can, losing himself in it, finally breaks and shoves Jensen's hand down towards his cock.
"Wish you could see what you look like," Jensen whispers. "So fucking beautiful like this. Love you more than anything in the world."
Jared groans and tilts his head back as he comes. Jensen thrusts forward so hard that Jared actually sees stars and then he can feel it, can actually feel Jensen coming inside him.
He feels wrung out, completely weak. He lies on his side for a long time, slips his fingers through Jensen's and holds on. He sighs when he feels Jensen ease out of him after a while, then finally works up the energy to turn. Jensen's smiling sleepily at him; he smiles back.
"Hey, you," Jensen whispers.
"Hey," Jared says. He moves closer and lets Jensen pull him so they're lying together, Jensen on his back, Jared with his head on Jensen's chest. He can feel Jensen's heart beating. Jensen strokes his fingers through Jared's hair.
"You OK?" Jensen asks.
"Mmm." Jared nods, shifts and slides his leg over Jensen's thigh. "Love you." He strokes his fingers over Jensen's collarbone. "You're shaking."
"I'm all right."
Jared lifts his head up, looks at Jensen for a long moment. He touches Jensen's mouth, then kisses him. He thinks he knows why Jensen's trembling. He feels the same way. He lays his head back down and closes his eyes and falls asleep to the feel of Jensen's fingers in his hair.
When he wakes, Jensen's not in bed. Jared sits up slowly, smiles at the ache in his muscles. He stretches, then goes to look for Jensen in the bathroom; he's not there, either. There's nowhere else in the room he could be. Jared worries for a minute, worries that it was too soon, too intense, and that Jensen's running as far away as he can, but then he sees the note on the pillow.
Went to get food. Back soon. Love you.
Jared smiles and reads the last line over and over again. He thinks about throwing the note away but instead he folds it neatly and tucks it in the bottom of his duffle bag.
He really is sore, and the room has a large tub. It's not big enough for him to completely stretch out, but it's larger than the tub he grew up with. He runs a bath as hot as he can stand it, leaves the bathroom door open a crack, and slips into the tub. He hisses at the heat of it, eases himself down. His thighs ache and his back is tight. The hot water stings as he parts his legs and reaches down to touch his hole. He smiles and slides further down in the tub, knees bending, as he remembers Jensen inside him, remembers how perfect it had all been.
He's just drifting back to sleep when he feels Jensen's fingers soft against his cheek.
"Hey," Jensen says.
Jared's eyes flutter open. "Hey."
"Didn't know you were a bath kind of guy."
"Muscles were a little sore." He smiles when Jensen kisses his forehead.
"You OK?"
He nods. "Yeah. You got food?"
"Pizza. And soda. I need to get some ice."
"'kay."
"Don't drown while I'm gone."
"I won't." Jared tips his head up for a kiss, then closes his eyes when Jensen stands up to leave. He listens to Jensen go, soaks in the heat for a while longer, then gets out of the tub when he hears Jensen get back with the ice. He towels off and pulls on a clean pair of boxers and a t-shirt. Jensen's got the pizza box open on the table--half with tomato and onion, half with everything, including pineapple.
Jared smiles and kisses him. "You really do love me," he says.
"If I can watch you eat that much crap on your pizza without throwing up then, yes, I guess I do."
Jared grins and grabs one of the everything pieces, a paper napkin, and sits on the edge of the bed while he finishes it happily.
"Ran into Adam while I was out," Jensen tells him after chewing and swallowing a small bite of a tomato onion slice. "Chad's having a bonfire tonight if you want to go."
Jared swallows the last bit of his slice and reaches for another one. He thinks about it as he chews. "Nah," he says finally. "Unless you want to."
"I'm not the social one," Jensen reminds him. "If it wasn't for you, I'd talk to three people a week."
Jared nods. It's totally true. He stretches his bare feet out and places them over Jensen's. He can't stop smiling.
"You're really OK?" Jensen asks.
"Yeah. And I just...I've been thinking about my parents. I'm just so happy with you."
Jensen blushes and looks down at his pizza.
"I've never been this happy in my entire life and I just...I wanted them to know how happy I was."
"They'll figure it out," Jensen tells him.
"I hope so."
Jensen wiggles his feet and Jared smiles, presses his own feet down a little harder.
"I'm only going to have a few pieces, so you can have half of mine if you're still hungry when you finish yours."
"Thanks," Jared says. He's starving, so he just might. "What kind of soda did you get?"
"Dr. Pepper," Jensen says, reaching over to pull the two-liter out of a plastic bag. Jensen doesn't even like Dr. Pepper, he just knows it's Jared's favorite.
For two months, two weeks, four days, and, Jared looks at the clock, sixteen hours, Jared has had the best boyfriend in the world.
I Watch the Sun as It Comes Up, I Watch It as It Sets
**********
Note: I've since been informed that South Padre Island is no longer the Spring Break Mecca it used to be. I was going to change the location, but then I figured, hey, this is an AU. I can make it however I want it to be. Also, I'm lazy.
He wakes up to the sound of seagulls and cars honking. Jensen's kissing his ear and lazily stroking his nipples.
"Bet I can make you come in ten minutes," Jensen says.
Jared grins and looks at the clock. "Seven eighteen," he says. "You're on." He loves it when Jensen does this because either way, he wins.
Jensen grins back and slides beneath the covers and Jared's eyes flutter closed. Jensen kisses his stomach and then his mouth is hot around Jared's cock.
Jared flips the blankets down. He lasts longer when he doesn't watch but sometimes, he just can't resist. Jensen's eyes are closed, his eyelashes dark against his cheekbones, his full mouth wrapped around Jared's cock. He lets it slip out of his mouth, cradles it in his hand as he kisses it, working it to full hardness.
"Jen," Jared whispers, reaching down to stroke his hair.
Jensen opens his eyes, smiles up at Jared and parts his lips, taking the head of Jared's cock into his mouth. He suckles on it, never breaking eye contact, and Jared can't hold back his groan.
Jensen pulls back, swipes his tongue over the tip. "Love the way you taste," he whispers. He dips his head, nuzzles against Jared's balls. "Love your smell."
"No fair." Jared's voice is shaky. "No fair talking."
Jensen smiles again, kisses his way up the underside of Jared's shaft. "You like hearing me talk, Jay? You like it when I tell you how much I love your cock?"
Jared whimpers and his hips give a little jerk.
Jensen hums happily, his eyes slitted, his grin smutty. "Yeah," he whispers, "love your fat cock, Jay. Love it down my throat, love it when you grab me by the hair and fuck my mouth, love working it until my jaw aches, so fucking big, tastes so fucking good."
Jared tips his head back on the pillow, covers his face with his hands and gasps when Jensen takes him in again. He's not going to last, he knows it, not with Jensen's mouth so tight and hot around him, his hand stroking and squeezing Jared's balls just right, the memory of his words swirling through Jared's head.
Jensen's fingers slip down and he strokes Jared's hole lightly. Jared groans and feels a heavy ache deep in the pit of his stomach. He's done it before, and every time Jensen touches him there, Jared shakes apart. He parts his legs, arches his hips up so Jensen has better access. Jensen's moaning, the vibrations shooting through Jared's cock, and when he lifts his head to look he sees Jensen's hips rocking, so turned on he's grinding against the mattress.
Jared comes with a soft cry, his fingers tightening in Jensen's hair. Once he's finished shaking, he glances at the clock. Seven twenty-three. It hadn't even been a contest.
"Winner, and still the champion!" Jensen cries, shooting his fists up into the air.
Jared surges forward and tackles him, kisses him hard. It's hot and a little strange to taste his own come on Jensen's lips. He's not sure if he'll ever get used to it. "You don't win every time," he says.
"Close enough," Jensen says, arching up and rubbing his hard cock against Jared's hip.
Jared's stomach growls and both of them laugh.
"I'd say you were hungry for it, but unfortunately, I know better," Jensen says.
Jared grips Jensen's hair and kisses him hard. "You can fuck me if you want," he says and Jensen comes with a surprised gasp.
"Fuck," Jensen pants after it's over. "You can't just say stuff like that without warning me first."
"Don't you want to?" Jared asks.
"Well, yeah, but I wasn't expecting you to say it."
Jared's stomach growls again. "See? I'm hungry for it."
Jensen laughs and kisses his nose. "You’re hungry for breakfast."
"That, too, but I...I don't know. It's, like, what people do, right?"
"Some people." Jensen pushes him off. "Christ, you're heavy. And is this about your parents?"
Jared groans. "No fair. You're not allowed to bring up my parents when we're naked."
"I'll keep that under advisement. Come on. I've already scoped out the place for coffee shops. There's one a few blocks away that serves breakfast, too. I'll grab a quick shower and then we'll go."
"OK," says Jared. He props himself up on one elbow and watches Jensen stand up and walk towards the bathroom. He loves looking at Jensen naked.
He flops back down for a few minutes, gazes up at the ceiling and listens to the ocean and the seagulls and the light traffic. Then he gets up and follows Jensen into the bathroom. They've never been able to shower together before. He steps into the shower behind Jensen and kisses the nape of his neck.
"Is this the part where I make a joke about dropping the soap?" Jensen asks.
"Mmm-hmm." Jared takes the body wash and lathers it up in his hands, slides his hands over Jensen's back. It's slick and the water is hot and Jensen's skin feels amazing. He glides his hands up his back, down his arms, back up again. He moves closer and slides his hands around to soap up Jensen's stomach and chest.
"Are you washing me or feeling me up?" Jensen asks breathlessly.
"Little bit of both." Jared slides his hands down, cups Jensen's balls in one hand and slides his soapy fingers down Jensen's cock.
Jensen hisses in air through his teeth. "Still sensitive," he whispers. "Not everyone has your three second refraction time."
"Love touching you."
Jensen turns and leans up to kiss him. "I love you," he murmurs, then stills and pulls back. He looks away and his cheeks are dark pink. "I, um," he says. Neither one of them has ever said it before.
"I love you, too," Jared tells him, pulling Jensen back towards him. They rest their foreheads together and Jared can't stop smiling. "I have for a long time."
Jensen nods, his hands resting on Jared's hips. "Yeah," he whispers.
They hold on to each other for a long time, swaying a bit beneath the warm spray. Then Jensen presses his face to Jared's neck and groans. "I really need coffee," he says.
Jared laughs and squeezes Jensen tight before letting him go. They finish showering and get dried and dressed and head out in search of food.
The morning air is cool and smells of salt. Jensen's walking the same way he does when they trudge to the dining hall in the mornings, hands stuffed in his pockets, eyes open just enough to see where he's going. Jared grins and bumps his shoulder and Jensen smiles just a bit and bumps back.
It's only a few blocks to the coffee shop Jensen had in mind. They've got a huge breakfast menu and Jared gets waffles and eggs and bacon and coffee and Jensen just gets an egg-white omelet, coffee, and a cup of hot water. He drinks a cup of kava tea every day. It's supposed to help with his anxiety, and while Jared doesn't know if it helps or not, he knows that it smells like feet. It smells like feet and it tastes like feet sprinkled with cinnamon. He's only ever had one sip.
"How's your stewed feet?" Jared asks after adding lots of sugar and cream to his coffee. When he wants to impress people he pretends to drink it black, but he's beyond needing to impress Jensen. Besides, having to pretend he didn't want cream and sugar every single morning would suck.
"You get used to it," Jensen tells him. He finishes his coffee first, then sips his tea and picks at his omelet. Jensen's not really a breakfast person. Jared's mama's always told him that--
Jared puts his fork down and concentrates on swallowing the strawberry-covered waffle in his mouth.
"Jared?" Jensen asks, leaning forward. "You all right?"
Jared swallows the bite in his mouth and breathes. "She couldn't look me in the eye," he says softly.
Jensen sighs. "Fuck, Jay."
"She'll come around," he says dully, as if saying it aloud will make it true. "Daddy's good with it. Maybe not good. I don't know. He's not trying to argue with me, anyway. He doesn't hate me."
"She doesn't hate you either."
Jared shrugs.
"Jay, seriously. I've met your mother. She doesn't hate anybody, especially not you. She might be in shock, but she doesn't hate you. Look, my parents were not surprised this time. They'd had years to get used to the idea and pretty much knew what I was going to say before I said it, and they were still devastated. I have faith in them, though, that they'll understand one day. Coming out's not just a one time thing, you know? It's a process." He reaches across the table and squeezes Jared's hand. "You'll get through it, and so will they. I've seen how much they love you."
"Yeah," Jared says softly. He feels a little better. "After breakfast, you wanna go back to the room and spend all day in bed?"
Jensen looks amused. "I'm sure that can be arranged."
"Not even, I mean of course I want to have sex, but I just...I wanna be close to you right now."
Jensen strokes his thumb over the top of Jared's hand. "Yeah."
Jared enjoys the rest of his waffles and eggs and Jensen even steals a slice of his bacon. They're walking back to the hotel when Jared spies a drugstore. He thinks about going inside, then thinks maybe not.
"Oh, hey," says Jensen suddenly. "I gotta go say hi to somebody."
Jared says, "Yeah, all right. I need to get some toothpaste." It's a lie, but Jensen doesn't pick up on it.
He says, "I'll be right over there," and points to a group of girls sitting at a table at an outdoor café across the street.
Jared ducks into the drugstore, makes his purchases quick and refuses to feel embarrassed, then comes out and lopes across the street. The girl Jensen is talking to is tall and blonde and drop-dead gorgeous.
She's laughing at something and her eyes flick over towards Jared and she smiles. She's got a beautiful smile and Jared's knees feel a little weak because, yes, he's in love with Jensen, but he's still human. "Hey," he says.
"Hey," says Jensen. "Um, Adrianne, this is Jared. My roommate. This is Adrianne. We went to high school together." He puts his hands in his pockets and seems uncomfortable.
Jared shakes her hand. "Hi," he says.
"We're heading to the water park," she says, looking from him to Jensen. "If you want you come." She smiles and bites her lower lip and Jared realizes that she's flirting. With his boyfriend. He'd feel jealous if he wasn't so sure he had nothing to worry about.
"We actually have plans already," Jared tells her.
Adrianne pouts a little bit and, yeah, the way she licks her lips and looks at them pleadingly is pretty fucking hot. Then he notices Jensen move away from him--not much, but enough so that they're far enough apart no one would think they were dating. Combined with the worry about his family, it makes him feel like shit, though he tells himself he's being stupid. It's not like either one of them has to get, "I like cock," tattooed on their foreheads.
"We'll catch up with you later," Jensen says. "I've got your number in my phone, so..."
"Yeah, definitely," she says, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She jumps up and pulls Jensen into a hug. "It was so amazing running into you last night. I missed you."
"Yeah," Jensen says. He hugs her back awkwardly. "Um, bye."
"Bye," she says with a little wave. Jared doesn't get a hug.
Once they're out of earshot, Jared looks over at Jensen and says, "She looooves you."
"Shut up," says Jensen, ducking his head down and blushing a little bit.
"She wants to have your baaabies," Jared croons.
Jensen laughs and shakes his head.
"You know, you could have just told her I was your boyfriend."
Jensen sighs. "It's kind of complicated."
"Really? Because I just came out to my entire family and my mama's probably still crying, so--"
"Hey," Jensen says, reaching out to touch him. "It's not...I know. I know you did that for me--"
"I did it for me, actually. And for them. They deserve to know who I am."
"My parents are still freaked out and they don't want people knowing, yet. If I told Adrianne, she'd tell her parents who'd tell their friends who are my parents' friends and...it's kind of fucked up."
"It's really fucked up," Jared says. "I thought you didn't want to hide this. I thought your whole deal when we started was that you didn't want to be somebody's dirty little secret. And I get why you don't want to be that because it sucks."
"I'm not," Jensen says. He sighs. "You're not my dirty little secret."
"I kind of felt like it back there."
"Look, I'll tell her. I'll go back and tell her right now." He turns and Jared reaches out to grab his arm.
"You don't have to go back and tell her. I'm just, I'm tense. I know this is harder for you in a lot of ways than it is for me."
"It shouldn't be," Jensen says softly. "I know it shouldn't be."
"I didn't grow up being told every Sunday that it was a sin," Jared says.
Jensen reaches up and strokes Jared's hair. "Not every Sunday," he says with a shrug.
"Enough."
Jensen nods, then leans up to kiss him.
Jared pulls back. "She's still just down the street. What if she sees us?"
"Fuck it," Jensen says and kisses him anyway. "I'm tired of hiding," he says against Jared's mouth. "I've done it for so long that I don't even think about it anymore. But I don't mean to hide you. Everybody who matters to me knows."
"I know," Jared says. He pulls away and tugs Jensen by the hand back towards the hotel. He has a plan.
Once they get back to the room, Jared hangs the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door, shuts it, then locks the deadbolt and attaches the security chain.
"I don't know what Chad's got planned for today, going into Mexico for more beer, probably," Jensen says. He kicks his shoes off and flops down onto the bed. "For as skinny as he is, he can put away a hell of a lot of alcohol." He pats the bed next to him. "Come here."
Jared crosses the room, tosses his drugstore bag onto the bed next to Jensen, then closes the sliding glass door and pulls the blackout curtains shut.
"Nap time?" Jensen asks with a yawn. "Seriously, vacation's exhausting."
"Look in the bag," Jared tells him.
"At your toothpaste?" Jensen asks, but he's already reaching for the bag. He looks inside and raises his eyebrows. "Not toothpaste."
"No."
Jensen pulls out the lube and condoms. "You're serious about this."
Jared takes his shirt off, tosses it onto the unused bed. "Yeah."
"Right now?"
"Right now."
"Um," says Jensen. "All right." He pushes himself up to kneel and takes off his t-shirt, starts unfastening his jeans. He looks up at Jared who's doing the same thing. "You, uh, you sure you don't want it to be more romantic or something?"
"I'm sure," Jared tells him. He pushes his jeans down leaves them in a pile on the floor. By the time he crawls across the bed, Jensen's got his belt undone and his fly open.
"Because we can..." Jensen's eyes flutter closed when Jared reaches into his fly and strokes his half-hard cock. "We can dim the lights if you want. Put on music. I don't...oh, fuck." He arches into Jared's touch.
"This is good, just like this," Jared whispers. He watches the flush bloom high on Jensen's cheekbones. It's so amazing to watch, to know that he's the one that turns Jensen on so much, to know he's the one giving Jensen so much pleasure.
"Wait," says Jensen. He puts his hand on Jared's arm. "Just, just wait."
"What?" Jared asks. "What's wrong?"
"What happened to you just wanting to be close to me today?"
Jared grins and leans forward to kiss him. "I want to be really close to you," he whispers. He squeezes Jensen's cock again, slides his thumb over the tip.
Jensen moans and bucks into his hand. "Yeah. OK," he says. He leans back far enough to take his shirt off, then reaches into Jared's boxers and begins to stroke him. "Get naked," he whispers in Jared's ear.
Jared pushes his boxers down, stretches out on the bed, slides his hand down his stomach and wraps his fingers around his cock. He strokes himself while Jensen pulls his own clothes off.
"Love watching you," Jensen says as he opens the box of condoms. "So fucking sexy, Jay."
Jared flushes hot the way he always does when he knows Jensen's watching him touch himself.
Jensen grins at him as he peels the anti-tamper plastic off the top of the lube bottle. "You sure you just don't want me to suck you off?"
"Cock slut," Jared says, making Jensen laugh.
"You ready?" Jensen asks him.
"Yeah," he says, suddenly nervous. He stretches out on his stomach and waits. His heart is thumping hard in his chest. He's not quite sure how this works, if Jensen's just going to climb on top of him and start fucking or what.
"Here," Jensen whispers, his hand gentle on Jared's hip. He eases Jared onto his side, smoothes his hand up and down Jared's thigh before pushing his top leg forward. He presses close against Jared's back, and Jared's just about to ask why they're not going to fuck when he feels Jensen's hard cock brush against his ass. Oh. Oh, they're going to do it like that, like spoons.
"I'm just going to touch you," Jensen whispers and his fingers, slick with lube, slide from Jared's thigh, over his ass, and down into the crease. "I'll tell you before I push inside, OK?"
"Yeah," Jared whispers. Jensen's fingers are circling the tight ring of muscle, massaging it. Every time it fills him with an aching need for more. "Do it."
"Give yourself time to get used to it."
Jared slides his thigh up further, cants his hips. "Fuck. Want it so bad."
Jensen makes a soft sound close to a growl and kisses the small of Jared's back. "Oh," he says, kissing his way up Jared's spine, "you're gonna get it."
Jared smiles and rocks back against Jensen's touch.
"I take it you're ready," Jensen says.
Jared nods, and when Jensen's finger slides inside it feels a little weird, but it doesn't hurt the way he'd been expecting it to.
"All right?" Jensen asks.
"Yeah. It's kinda...strange."
Jensen's finger slides in slow and easy, and then he presses against something that's so good it makes Jared's toes curl.
"Nice, huh?" he asks.
Jared gasps and nods. "Good," he says.
Jensen finger fucks him slow for a long time, kissing his back and shoulders and whispering soft words.
"I'm gonna try two fingers," Jensen tells him.
"'kay."
It's a tighter fight and it aches a little bit, but it's a good ache.
"Remember to breathe," Jensen tells him.
Jared hadn't even known he'd been holding his breath. He breathes and bites his lower lip as Jensen works his fingers deeper inside. He's so turned on he's shaking. Jensen murmurs endearments and kisses the back of his neck and his ear and his jaw.
"Doing all right?" he asks.
Jared nods again. He doesn't know if he can talk.
"Tell me if you're all right, Jay."
"Fuck," he gasps. "Want it so bad."
"I know, baby. I know. But you have to tell me how you're doing."
"Good. It's good."
"You're so hot inside, baby. God, can't wait to be inside you."
"Don't wait," Jared moans.
"You're not--"
"I'm ready. I'm ready, Jen, fuck, just do it."
He feels Jensen shiver against him, then slowly pull his fingers out. Jared groans at the loss, takes a deep breath when he hears the crinkle of the condom wrapper.
"You sure?" Jensen asks, but he's already pressing the tip of his cock to Jared's hole.
"Yeah."
Jensen pushes inside slowly and it's too much. It's not pain like Jared expected, not like he's being ripped open, but he's too full, the muscles in his stomach protesting.
"You all right?" Jensen asks softly.
Jared nods. "Yeah." His voice is thick with what he hopes Jensen will interpret as desire.
Jensen stops moving, kisses the back of his neck, runs his hand up and down Jared's arm. "It's OK," he murmurs. "Just breathe."
Jared nods again. He closes his eyes and breathes.
"Give yourself a little while to get used to it. Do you want me to stop?"
"No." Jared takes a few deep breaths, then nods. "It's OK."
Jensen starts moving again, sliding in slow. It's uncomfortable and strange but Jared breathes through it and the discomfort wanes. It starts to feel nice, even, and Jensen's hand is squeezing and pulling on his cock.
"Oh," says Jared, surprised, when he feels pleasure slice through him.
"Good?" Jensen asks.
"Yeah," he whispers. He fists the sheets in his hand and shudders when the sensation goes from too much to not enough. "More. Oh, God..."
Jensen's breath is hot against the side of his neck. He nuzzles at Jared's jaw. "Hey."
Jared turns his head so they can kiss.
"Love you, Jay," Jensen whispers.
Jared nods. He can't keep his eyes open and he reaches back, slides his hand over Jensen's hip to pull him closer.
"What do you need, baby?"
"More. Just...oh, oh God, just...don't stop, OK?"
"I won't."
"Don't stop ever," Jared moans. "This is...fuck, Jen, so good." He wants to talk, feels like he should, wants to tell Jensen what he's feeling and how amazing it is but he can't find the words. "Oh, God," he whispers over and over again.
"I got you," Jensen tells him.
Every time Jensen pulls out, the loss of him aches, and every time he pushes back in, Jared feels like he's shaking apart. He's so close and he doesn't want to come, doesn't want it to end. He grabs Jensen's wrist, pulls Jensen's hand away from his cock and holds it tight against his chest instead. Jensen kisses his shoulder and his neck and his jaw over and over again.
He holds on for as long as he can, losing himself in it, finally breaks and shoves Jensen's hand down towards his cock.
"Wish you could see what you look like," Jensen whispers. "So fucking beautiful like this. Love you more than anything in the world."
Jared groans and tilts his head back as he comes. Jensen thrusts forward so hard that Jared actually sees stars and then he can feel it, can actually feel Jensen coming inside him.
He feels wrung out, completely weak. He lies on his side for a long time, slips his fingers through Jensen's and holds on. He sighs when he feels Jensen ease out of him after a while, then finally works up the energy to turn. Jensen's smiling sleepily at him; he smiles back.
"Hey, you," Jensen whispers.
"Hey," Jared says. He moves closer and lets Jensen pull him so they're lying together, Jensen on his back, Jared with his head on Jensen's chest. He can feel Jensen's heart beating. Jensen strokes his fingers through Jared's hair.
"You OK?" Jensen asks.
"Mmm." Jared nods, shifts and slides his leg over Jensen's thigh. "Love you." He strokes his fingers over Jensen's collarbone. "You're shaking."
"I'm all right."
Jared lifts his head up, looks at Jensen for a long moment. He touches Jensen's mouth, then kisses him. He thinks he knows why Jensen's trembling. He feels the same way. He lays his head back down and closes his eyes and falls asleep to the feel of Jensen's fingers in his hair.
When he wakes, Jensen's not in bed. Jared sits up slowly, smiles at the ache in his muscles. He stretches, then goes to look for Jensen in the bathroom; he's not there, either. There's nowhere else in the room he could be. Jared worries for a minute, worries that it was too soon, too intense, and that Jensen's running as far away as he can, but then he sees the note on the pillow.
Went to get food. Back soon. Love you.
Jared smiles and reads the last line over and over again. He thinks about throwing the note away but instead he folds it neatly and tucks it in the bottom of his duffle bag.
He really is sore, and the room has a large tub. It's not big enough for him to completely stretch out, but it's larger than the tub he grew up with. He runs a bath as hot as he can stand it, leaves the bathroom door open a crack, and slips into the tub. He hisses at the heat of it, eases himself down. His thighs ache and his back is tight. The hot water stings as he parts his legs and reaches down to touch his hole. He smiles and slides further down in the tub, knees bending, as he remembers Jensen inside him, remembers how perfect it had all been.
He's just drifting back to sleep when he feels Jensen's fingers soft against his cheek.
"Hey," Jensen says.
Jared's eyes flutter open. "Hey."
"Didn't know you were a bath kind of guy."
"Muscles were a little sore." He smiles when Jensen kisses his forehead.
"You OK?"
He nods. "Yeah. You got food?"
"Pizza. And soda. I need to get some ice."
"'kay."
"Don't drown while I'm gone."
"I won't." Jared tips his head up for a kiss, then closes his eyes when Jensen stands up to leave. He listens to Jensen go, soaks in the heat for a while longer, then gets out of the tub when he hears Jensen get back with the ice. He towels off and pulls on a clean pair of boxers and a t-shirt. Jensen's got the pizza box open on the table--half with tomato and onion, half with everything, including pineapple.
Jared smiles and kisses him. "You really do love me," he says.
"If I can watch you eat that much crap on your pizza without throwing up then, yes, I guess I do."
Jared grins and grabs one of the everything pieces, a paper napkin, and sits on the edge of the bed while he finishes it happily.
"Ran into Adam while I was out," Jensen tells him after chewing and swallowing a small bite of a tomato onion slice. "Chad's having a bonfire tonight if you want to go."
Jared swallows the last bit of his slice and reaches for another one. He thinks about it as he chews. "Nah," he says finally. "Unless you want to."
"I'm not the social one," Jensen reminds him. "If it wasn't for you, I'd talk to three people a week."
Jared nods. It's totally true. He stretches his bare feet out and places them over Jensen's. He can't stop smiling.
"You're really OK?" Jensen asks.
"Yeah. And I just...I've been thinking about my parents. I'm just so happy with you."
Jensen blushes and looks down at his pizza.
"I've never been this happy in my entire life and I just...I wanted them to know how happy I was."
"They'll figure it out," Jensen tells him.
"I hope so."
Jensen wiggles his feet and Jared smiles, presses his own feet down a little harder.
"I'm only going to have a few pieces, so you can have half of mine if you're still hungry when you finish yours."
"Thanks," Jared says. He's starving, so he just might. "What kind of soda did you get?"
"Dr. Pepper," Jensen says, reaching over to pull the two-liter out of a plastic bag. Jensen doesn't even like Dr. Pepper, he just knows it's Jared's favorite.
For two months, two weeks, four days, and, Jared looks at the clock, sixteen hours, Jared has had the best boyfriend in the world.
I Watch the Sun as It Comes Up, I Watch It as It Sets
**********
Note: I've since been informed that South Padre Island is no longer the Spring Break Mecca it used to be. I was going to change the location, but then I figured, hey, this is an AU. I can make it however I want it to be. Also, I'm lazy.